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Lunch teeth brushers at work

422,989 Views | 2665 Replies | Last: 10 mo ago by Milwaukees Best Light
schmellba99
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10:53a, 8/2/19
AG
Strange experience in the office crapper today. I'm halfway through my standard mid morning/post 1st cup of coffee deuce when somebody else walks in the restroom. I'm stationed quite comfortably in the handicrapper, which is the furthest of the two stalls from the door. Dude attempts to open my door, then realizes somebody else is squatting there. He goes to the narrow stall, no biggie.

Except he never actually assumes the position while I'm there. I can see his shoes beneath the partition, for a while he's facing the partition between us, then turns and faces the crapper as if it's draining the lizard. Except he just stands there. It was weird AF - to the point I decide I can no longer be comfortable in my situation, so I finish up faster than anticipated to get out of the room.

I've never had that experience before. It was just friggin strange.
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jetch17
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11:37a, 8/2/19
AG
Probably quietly pullin his taffy while he listened to you drop nugget plops
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htxag09
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5:44p, 8/2/19
AG
Or an application of hemorrhoid cream
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Texaggie7nine
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In reply to htxag09 • 6:09p, 8/2/19
Did he wash his hands??
7nine
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jetch17
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8:03a, 8/3/19
AG
Man im cry-laughing re-reading my way through the first 10 pages of this thread from 9 GD years ago this morning while having my coffee on the squatty potty
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strohag
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8:20a, 8/3/19
AG
One of the greatest threads of all time. This board was epic back then.
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aTm_bomb
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In reply to jetch17 • 8:33a, 8/3/19
AG
jetch17 said:
Man im cry-laughing re-reading my way through the first 10 pages of this thread from 9 GD years ago this morning while having my coffee on the squatty potty


That's a hell of a duece ... Did your legs fall asleep?
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jetch17
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8:48a, 8/3/19
AG
Nah, just some minor demarcations from resting forearms on squatty'd knees while evacuating last nights enchilada bonanza
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schmellba99
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7:51p, 8/6/19
AG
Imma bout to go on a jihad against some protocol violator in my office crapper. 3 days in a row,now I have gone to the handicrapp to take my half hour or so of reflection on life only to discover that the person who has dropped a deuce prior to me has made a seat cover out of sht paper and subsequently left it on the seat.

This draws my ire for several reasons - one, it is a waste of sht tickets I might need, two, I have to make a choice of kicking it all in the crapper and hitting a pre deuce flush or moving to the claustrophobic stall and three, it is just a dick move.

I am thinking of printing a note and taping it to the inside of the door so that the offender is forced to read it in shame next time they decide to drop a log or two and leave the area in such disarray.
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jetch17
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7:53p, 8/6/19
cgh1999
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In reply to schmellba99 • 8:16p, 8/6/19
AG
schmellba99 said:
Imma bout to go on a jihad against some protocol violator in my office crapper. 3 days in a row,now I have gone to the handicrapp to take my half hour or so of reflection on life only to discover that the person who has dropped a deuce prior to me has made a seat cover out of sht paper and subsequently left it on the seat.

This draws my ire for several reasons - one, it is a waste of sht tickets I might need, two, I have to make a choice of kicking it all in the crapper and hitting a pre deuce flush or moving to the claustrophobic stall and three, it is just a dick move.

I am thinking of printing a note and taping it to the inside of the door so that the offender is forced to read it in shame next time they decide to drop a log or two and leave the area in such disarray.


I think we work in the same building. To make it worse, there is a full container of swat covers available, but the jack hole still builds his own out of tp.
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htxag09
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8:41p, 8/6/19
AG
Today an older broad was brushing her teeth in the break room sink. Not sure which is worse....
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schmellba99
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In reply to cgh1999 • 9:22p, 8/6/19
AG
cgh1999 said:
schmellba99 said:
Imma bout to go on a jihad against some protocol violator in my office crapper. 3 days in a row,now I have gone to the handicrapp to take my half hour or so of reflection on life only to discover that the person who has dropped a deuce prior to me has made a seat cover out of sht paper and subsequently left it on the seat.

This draws my ire for several reasons - one, it is a waste of sht tickets I might need, two, I have to make a choice of kicking it all in the crapper and hitting a pre deuce flush or moving to the claustrophobic stall and three, it is just a dick move.

I am thinking of printing a note and taping it to the inside of the door so that the offender is forced to read it in shame next time they decide to drop a log or two and leave the area in such disarray.


I think we work in the same building. To make it worse, there is a full container of swat covers available, but the jack hole still builds his own out of tp.


We may. Wickchester?
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schmellba99
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11:05a, 8/9/19
AG
I left a note in my crappers for the tp seat protector offender. My co-workers were unaware it was me that did it, they though it was absolutely hilarious and approved across the board before I told them I did it.

I feel vindicated already. And, as of today, no leftover TP seats to deal with. I hope I have shamed the offender for the remainder of their lives.
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TX_AG_10
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In reply to schmellba99 • 12:46p, 8/9/19
AG
It was probably one of your co-workers who didn't want to admit it and laughed along with the rest of the group.
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schmellba99
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In reply to TX_AG_10 • 2:17p, 8/9/19
AG
TX_AG_10 said:
It was probably one of your co-workers who didn't want to admit it and laughed along with the rest of the group.
Not likely, but I also don't discount that possibility.
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David_Puddy
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In reply to htxag09 • 2:45p, 8/9/19
AG
htxag09 said:
Today an older broad was brushing her teeth in the break room sink. Not sure which is worse....

100% the person who does it surrounded by the smell of urine & feces.
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aggiecive
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4:21p, 1/16/20
AG
Someone on my floor at the office brushes his teeth in the bathroom with extreme vigor every afternoon. Today though, I saw him lay the toothbrush on the counter when he was done brushing. I'm not usually a germophobe but I found that really gross.
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HtownAg92
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In reply to aggiecive • 4:27p, 1/16/20
AG
aggiecive said:
Someone on my floor at the office brushes his teeth in the bathroom with extreme vigor every afternoon. Today though, I saw him lay the toothbrush on the counter when he was done brushing. I'm not usually a germophobe but I found that really gross.
The whole process is gross, which is why you should make sure to vigorously induce violent, wet and loud fecal blasts when someone is brushing while you are on the can. Try not to trap any vapor or dook mist so that it can waft over or under the door and land placidly on the offender's brush and in his gaping face hole.
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Charismatic Megafauna
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8:34p, 1/16/20
AG
Timely bump! I had a notable encounter this morning. I felt the spirit start to move me and headed for the head. Not the Cadillac stall, like you heathens, but the narrow one by the sink, so if another person absolutely has to join me he will at least have the option of placing a stall between us, even if he is not in fact handicapped. Anyway, I'm preparing the altar and i hear the resident pooper tooth brusher come in and start his routine. Gasket in place, i sit and proceed to lay down the most cacophonous ass-symphony I've composed in quite some time...it wasn't even on purpose, last night's chili con queso just inspired me. Seriously, i would have been embarrassed if there was somebody trying to pee, or even someone else being so discourteous as to not find another floor when three was another man pooping, but since it was a tooth brusher, i was just trying to keep from cracking up with every fresh coat of spackle. Pretty sure i heard the tooth brusher gag/dry heave as he hurriedly finished up and got out of there...
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Madmarttigan
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9:50p, 1/16/20
AG
This thread is still possibly my favorite thread on texags, I'm crying right now.
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schmellba99
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10:50a, 1/17/20
AG
We have a mystery man on our floor that is a gigantic butthole - he makes his little toilet paper seat because he thinks it protects him from the butt aids. Then the jackass leaves the toilet paper seat on the crapper for the next guy to clean up.

I make signs that I tape to the walls to shame him. It works, for a while. Then he gets mad and tears them down and goes back to being a selfish butthole. It's a war, and I will win. If i ever confront him, he may get a swirley, because few things are more maddening than when you have a turtle head and are clenching like your life depended on it only to have to clean some other dude's mess up before you can take a seat to drop a growler.
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Jack Cheese
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In reply to schmellba99 • 4:17p, 1/17/20
AG
I hate growling turtle heads.
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Canyon99
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1:35a, 1/19/20
AG
I know this is the Houston board and my story involves Dallas but this thread is epic. I worked in a 50+ story building in Dallas for three years after working in smaller towns so I knew I'd have to get creative when it came to relieving myself. I was on a floor with high wall cubes for the first two years so breaks were bearable. Then came the got damn worst news; we were moving floors, cubes were low walled, and the bathrooms doors were visible to the entire half of the floor. I'd never worked in a cube farm so that was bad enough but the thought of seeing through my peripheral vision men and women I know head off to drop deuces freaked me out. Our company leased about five floors of this building but housed a few people I avoided like the plague so those floors were off limits. I was lucky to know of one single occupant dump room that was just around the corner from a large Restricted Access sign which caused it to be somewhat hidden. In one year of damn near daily use I never found it in use nor was bothered while evacuating my bowels. Amazing. I've since moved to a small town and live a mile from my office which allows me to drive home if I require a movement. God bless all of you that continue the struggle.
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sts7049
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5:43a, 1/19/20
AG
we found a shy pooper
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schmellba99
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In reply to Canyon99 • 10:18a, 1/20/20
AG
Canyon99 said:
I know this is the Houston board and my story involves Dallas but this thread is epic. I worked in a 50+ story building in Dallas for three years after working in smaller towns so I knew I'd have to get creative when it came to relieving myself. I was on a floor with high wall cubes for the first two years so breaks were bearable. Then came the got damn worst news; we were moving floors, cubes were low walled, and the bathrooms doors were visible to the entire half of the floor. I'd never worked in a cube farm so that was bad enough but the thought of seeing through my peripheral vision men and women I know head off to drop deuces freaked me out. Our company leased about five floors of this building but housed a few people I avoided like the plague so those floors were off limits. I was lucky to know of one single occupant dump room that was just around the corner from a large Restricted Access sign which caused it to be somewhat hidden. In one year of damn near daily use I never found it in use nor was bothered while evacuating my bowels. Amazing. I've since moved to a small town and live a mile from my office which allows me to drive home if I require a movement. God bless all of you that continue the struggle.
Absolutely no way would I be able to clench long enough to walk to the truck, drive a mile home, walk inside, etc. before the pressure would exceed the tensile strength of the o-ring.
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Cinco Ranch Aggie
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4:36p, 1/21/20
AG
This thread, along with the fatso with a travel scrabble game, personal paranormal stories, and the he's putting a WHAT in her stocking are classics!
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David_Puddy
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In reply to Madmarttigan • 9:39p, 1/21/20
AG
tv1113 said:
This thread is still possibly my favorite thread on texags, I'm crying right now.

You're welcome
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maca1028
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In reply to Cinco Ranch Aggie • 10:30p, 1/23/20
I need to know where these other threads are.
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Cinco Ranch Aggie
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In reply to maca1028 • 9:04a, 1/24/20
AG
maca1028 said:
I need to know where these other threads are.
Fatso With Travel Scrabble
https://texags.com/forums/6/topics/537792

He's Putting a WHAT in Her Stocking
https://texags.com/forums/27/topics/1760467

Personal Paranormal Stories
https://texags.com/forums/27/topics/1591905
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maca1028
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In reply to Cinco Ranch Aggie • 6:19p, 1/24/20
Cinco Ranch Aggie said:
maca1028 said:
I need to know where these other threads are.
Fatso With Travel Scrabble
https://texags.com/forums/6/topics/537792

He's Putting a WHAT in Her Stocking
https://texags.com/forums/27/topics/1760467

Personal Paranormal Stories
https://texags.com/forums/27/topics/1591905


Tshirt Ag problems...no Ag tag.
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In reply to maca1028 • 6:44a, 1/26/20
strohag
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11:38a, 1/26/20
AG
I have a stand up wiper in my office.

Normally I'll avoid dropping a deuce in a stall when the one next to it is occupied. However i had a meeting to get to so i strolled into the handicap stall knowing someone was already going in the other stall. I'm sitting there and the guy next to me proceeds to stand up, face the toilet, and then starts to wipe his ass. It wasn't a clean one or two wiper. He must've wiped 10 to 15 times. How much unnecessary fecal mater is being put in the air by standing up and wiping while facing the toilet. This is the first time I've come across this. It may have been brought up in this thread but I can't remember. I will never use the stall this guy was in ever again. We figured out who it was based off the shoes. Dude is already a strange guy. Now he is the weirdest guy in the entire office. Gross.
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schmellba99
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In reply to Cinco Ranch Aggie • 12:21p, 1/26/20
AG
Cinco Ranch Aggie said:
maca1028 said:
I need to know where these other threads are.
Fatso With Travel Scrabble
https://texags.com/forums/6/topics/537792

He's Putting a WHAT in Her Stocking
https://texags.com/forums/27/topics/1760467

Personal Paranormal Stories
https://texags.com/forums/27/topics/1591905


GTNYN Catch was epic as well
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maca1028
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In reply to [removed post] • 1:20p, 1/26/20
 
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