fun shapes?
Lunch teeth brushers at work
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Last: 10 mo ago by Milwaukees Best Light
yup, this morning's session was epic
Zapps Voodoo Gumbo potato chips, while badass, are instantaneous kickstarts to the crap-factory. Paired with an Antones poboy, i will be having a 'Super Original' voodoo grogan later
Sorry but even though Play-Doh looks like different shades of crap, I really don't see the allure of sticking something in your ass to force something else through. That thing doesn't look like its much of a match for grogans anyways.
just went to take a leak at work, and this dude came busting in the door, moving very quickly it sounded like, my back was to him, slammed the stall door and went to town. I'm not sure he even got his pants down all the way. This tread was the first thing that came to my mind. It took all I had to keep from busting out laughing!
^ The photo finish
I walked into the bathroom, on the 6th floor mind you because they are taking 2 months to renovate the 4th floors... about 1:15 to a brother brushing his teeth at the sink, I half smiled, acknowledging his presence walked to the only stall in the bathroom, and proceded to unleash hell while he was still there. After the first volley, I heard what seemed like a pause then a hurried rinsing of the brush and a brisk walk out the door.
Serves you right to brush your teeth in the sheeter; weirdos.
Serves you right to brush your teeth in the sheeter; weirdos.
We have some new firm renting some space on our floor. Some VC nimrod is in there brushing his teeth around 2PM. I take a piss and go to wash my hands, and the greasy jerkoff stops brushing, PUTS HIS TOOTHBRUSH DOWN ON THE WET FILTHY COUNTER, rinses his mouth, PICKS UP HIS TOOTHBRUSH AND STARTS BRUSHING AGAIN.
[This message has been edited by BarryProfit (edited 6/2/2011 3:25p).]
[This message has been edited by BarryProfit (edited 6/2/2011 3:25p).]
Ferris Wheel Allstar
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AG
My buddy with IBS writes poems while on the can at work. Here is his latest.
quote:
Oh Sprays oh sprays it seems it’s me that you have chosen,
I sit here in tears and my legs have long ago frozen
As I sit here and leak my day seams very bleak,
Estimating how long I’ll have to sit in my own stink
To ease the agony I bite down on my leather belt
And I can’t help but wonder if my intestines really did melt
Oh why oh why does this always happen to me,
Looks as if someone spilled and entire bucket of iced tea.
Oh sprays you are a prison with in one’s self,
It’s even a gamble to get up to grab the Imodium off of my shelf.
You never know when you are ever really done,
You have to be on call 24 -7 with a toilet close enough to run.
Every time I fart it’s a dangerous game of sorts,
It’s like playing Russian Rullet with my poor under shorts.
I lay down, cross my legs and try and fall asleep,
Hoping that I can find some new bed sheets on the cheap
You never give me warning nor a second to prepare,
Basically you say let’s go, but challenge me if you dare
Oh sprays we dare not fight you as it’s a losing war we know,
We can just pray your kind by having a news paper next to wear we go
That isn’t even the worst as there is another main issue,
It’s the beating and the abuse my @$$ takes from the dreadful toilet tissue
I’m soar and cranky and my co-workers are starting to wonder what is that scream?
And when cleaning myself the paper is looking like Neapolitan ice cream.
So sprays please be gentle now that you know my beef,
Be kind and considerate and please send me some relief
I am so so so sorry my breakfast was about 9 eggs,
But can you please send some blood flow back into my legs
I promise I’ll treat you better if this is my last batch of the day,
When I look in the toilet I am reminded of Galveston Bay
Finally it’s all over so I walk back to my desk in pain,
Right when I sit down I realize, aww ****, I have to go again
wtf
[This message has been edited by The Padz (edited 6/2/2011 3:34p).]
[This message has been edited by The Padz (edited 6/2/2011 3:34p).]
i've never really appreciated the power of poetry... until today.
I lost it at neapolitan ice cream
Jesus
Neapolitan + 1
Might want to check and see if he's lactose intolerant. I got that about my mid-20's and rapidly learned a milkshake at lunch before a big afternoon conference was a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE idea.
When is a milkshake a lunch ever a good idea?
Comfortably Dropping a load at the A/C'd Saint Arnold's. Something not possible a few years ago.
jetch17
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Meatza pizza in the Denver airport was a bad idea. Time for an airport grogan. I hope they don't have those rotating plastic cover seats.
Holy **** that poem is awesome!!
What gets me is the instant "get out of traffic" urge. Always happens when I eat the green sauce.
quote:Kinda glad that I didn't stick around for St. Arnolds after reading this.
Comfortably Dropping a load at the A/C'd Saint Arnold's. Something not possible a few years ago.
quote:
Every time I fart it’s a dangerous game of sorts,
It’s like playing Russian Rullet with my poor under shorts.
I lay down, cross my legs and try and fall asleep,
Hoping that I can find some new bed sheets on the cheap
FTW.
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Here is another one:
quote:
What Am I?
I sweat and I gasp with any activity I do
When I run or exercise my thighs stick together like glue
My pants are tighter and tighter my Moral is low
I can’t even remember the last time I even saw one toe
When dressing nice beware as you may be killed by a flying button from my suit
I started the tsunami while scuba diving with just a mere toot
I turn down no food and I even dip it in Ranch
When I sit on a park bench I snap it like a tiny branch
I love pizzas, pastas, fried chickens and fries
Yet let us not forgot I also enjoy ice cream, cakes and pies
My colon hates me and my heart hates me too
How many steps can I take till I’m exhausted? The answers very few
I am jolly and rosy and for the most part fun,
And in this world my muffin top is second to none
So what am I?
No I’m not a super hero, a dog or a cat
I’m not a politician, and athlete, or a bat
What I am is just flat out Fat!
quote:
And when cleaning myself the paper is looking like Neapolitan ice cream.
I have a meeting in The Woodlands tomorrow at an office located on Grogan's Mill Road.
Not even my schedule can escape the gravitational field of this thread.
Not even my schedule can escape the gravitational field of this thread.
Poo Haiku
That's a nice grogan
Only a foot long will do
Mine smell like roses
That's a nice grogan
Only a foot long will do
Mine smell like roses
quote:
Mine smell like roses
Then why not stick it in a vase and give to the SO?
And holy crap at the urban dictionary definition for grogan.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=grogan
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=grogan
quote:
Half a loaf
quote:
An ejected clump of feces that is not heavy enough to drop off your dingleberry forest
poopy time fun shapes. oh. my. GOD. i would personally never do this,but it would be pretty funny to leave a smiley-face shaped turd in the office ****ter
I think you mean, on the office copier.
FIFY.
FIFY.
quote:
I think you mean, on the office copier.
Can you imagine someone going out in a blaze of glory and doing this?!
finally had a bm after 3 days. I seriously feel like I am on cloud 9
I worked out two legit 18 inchers yesterday alone.
You haven't gone in 3 days?
You haven't gone in 3 days?
a severe case of Toyota Center Nachos Supreme revenge today.
NOT zesty!
NOT zesty!
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