just encountered a tooth brusher in one of the johns in terminal C.
Lunch teeth brushers at work
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Last: 9 mo ago by Milwaukees Best Light
Must have a Sunday night meeting... or he was covering down on a flight attendant.
quote:
just encountered a tooth brusher in one of the johns in terminal C.
Oh crap! Reading this just reminded me that I have actually done this in the airport once. In my defense though, it was a a layover after a 18-20 hour flight and had forgotten to brush before boarding the first leg of the flight. Was really needing a brush. Never thought about the poo particles floating around.
On a side note loosely related to this thread, this rcent spate of cold weather turned me on to the joys of brushing my teeth with warm water. I've always been a cold water brusher, but I wet my tooth brush with warm water the other day (I had just finished washing my hands on a cold night) and it was like a whole other experience. It was like a nice spa massage for my teeth and gums rather than the utilitarian cold scrubbing that they've received twice daily for the last 32 years.
Haven't seen this issue addressed yet, so thought I would bring it up and see if it's just a phenomenon at my office.
Usually, I like to enjoy my afternoon constitutional in the privacy and comfort of the handicapped deluxe suite. However, today the private bath was in disposed, so I was forced to use the regular john. I tend not to venture in here often, so I was unprepared for what awaited.
I do my typical wipe down sanitation procedure because some gomer had left a sprinkling of dried butt mud on the seat. I get it sufficiently cleaned and take my throne. I know sooner sit down than the entire seat shifts violently to the left and pinches the bottom of one ass cheek between the seat and the commode. I now am sporting a very angry red welt/scrape on my ass that I'm sure will get infected, despite the 5 minutes I spent soaping/cleaning my wound.
My question is this: how do the toilet seats get so freakin' loose? This thing has a good 6-8" of play to the left/right and appears to be holding on by a thread. Is this attributable to the office fatties? Before leaving the bathroom, I checked the other stalls and they too had this problem. Have any of you run into this?
Usually, I like to enjoy my afternoon constitutional in the privacy and comfort of the handicapped deluxe suite. However, today the private bath was in disposed, so I was forced to use the regular john. I tend not to venture in here often, so I was unprepared for what awaited.
I do my typical wipe down sanitation procedure because some gomer had left a sprinkling of dried butt mud on the seat. I get it sufficiently cleaned and take my throne. I know sooner sit down than the entire seat shifts violently to the left and pinches the bottom of one ass cheek between the seat and the commode. I now am sporting a very angry red welt/scrape on my ass that I'm sure will get infected, despite the 5 minutes I spent soaping/cleaning my wound.
My question is this: how do the toilet seats get so freakin' loose? This thing has a good 6-8" of play to the left/right and appears to be holding on by a thread. Is this attributable to the office fatties? Before leaving the bathroom, I checked the other stalls and they too had this problem. Have any of you run into this?
That's a good question. has to be the fattys and the piss acid eroding the joints.
By the way, this morning I was enjoying a good work dump while playing some game on my cell phone when some guy busted in the door, hauled ass to the nearest stall, bursted through the door so hard that it shook all of the stall walls, and then expoded on the toilet like he was dumping his rock garden into the toilet. He was breathing heavily and going hard for about a minute or so, with a courtesy flush approximately every 20 seconds... then he just gets up and leaves. I was shocked/impressed/bewildered. You would think with the magnitude of dump this guy just commenced and with the intensity of the first minute that he would be committed to the pot for at least 5 minutes to let the last squeakers come out and to let his stomach settle. No -- this man did his businses and got out before I was even done getting 3 stars on my current Angry Birds level. Crazy.
[This message has been edited by HotardAg07 (edited 2/14/2011 5:38p).]
By the way, this morning I was enjoying a good work dump while playing some game on my cell phone when some guy busted in the door, hauled ass to the nearest stall, bursted through the door so hard that it shook all of the stall walls, and then expoded on the toilet like he was dumping his rock garden into the toilet. He was breathing heavily and going hard for about a minute or so, with a courtesy flush approximately every 20 seconds... then he just gets up and leaves. I was shocked/impressed/bewildered. You would think with the magnitude of dump this guy just commenced and with the intensity of the first minute that he would be committed to the pot for at least 5 minutes to let the last squeakers come out and to let his stomach settle. No -- this man did his businses and got out before I was even done getting 3 stars on my current Angry Birds level. Crazy.
[This message has been edited by HotardAg07 (edited 2/14/2011 5:38p).]
quote:
know sooner sit down than the entire seat shifts violently to the left and pinches the bottom of one ass cheek between the seat and the commode. I now am sporting a very angry red welt/scrape on my ass that I'm sure will get infected, despite the 5 minutes I spent soaping/cleaning my wound.
My question is this: how do the toilet seats get so freakin' loose? This thing has a good 6-8" of play to the left/right and appears to be holding on by a thread. Is this attributable to the office fatties? Before leaving the bathroom, I checked the other stalls and they too had this problem. Have any of you run into this?
This actually happened to me at home. I needed to replace my lid and tried to go cheap... got the $10 model and it WOULD NOT stay in place. No amount of tightening would fix it. I finally upgraded to the $20 seat and have had no problems.
I've never had that problem at work. We've got Cadillac seats upinhur.
Curious this hasn't been brought up yet, but does anyone else have a wide range of colors when wiping? Sometimes it's the customary brown, sometimes it's baby **** green, and sometimes it's almost black. Just wondering since this hasn't been discussed yet or I missed it in reading...
Mines usually blood red...
the brown color comes primarily from dead red blood cells.
quote:
but does anyone else have a wide range of colors when wiping?
I think I wouldn't really be concerned so long as the color of what you wiped matches the color of the deposit. Otherwise that would just be weird.
Go eat a bunch of spearmint snowcones and then take a mean, green growler.
I was enjoying a post lunch handicap session when the unmistakeable sounds of a guy about to explode rolled in. You could tell by the loud bang opening the door and the running to the stall (luckily he took the one on the other end). He gets in, slams the door, and rushes quickly to position himself. I could tell he was about to explode at any minute because you could her the belt clinging an the hurriedness of his trousers to come off. Just as soon as his ass plops down on the seat he lets out a machine gun style explosion. I had to cover my mouth so he wouldn't hear me giggling like a little schoolgirl 2 stalls over.
quote:I had a girlfriend back at A&M who said she needed to go to the doctor... well two days went by and then she says.. ok I really need to call the doctor right now. Well after about 5 minutes of me questioning her..it turns out that the daily routine of me and her going to Sonic for a Route 44 Oceanwater was turning her poop blue. (note: we put a little vodka in there for a nice afternoon treat before heading to the pool that summer). Anyway.. I busted out laughing. She felt so embarassed.
but does anyone else have a wide range of colors when wiping?
Gotta love a nice cold sh*tter beer after a long day
Went to brewery the other day and had a few stares, when I brought my pint with me in to the restroom.
Absolutely nothing wrong with a dump at the Newery, they have nice facilities btw.
who doesn't bring their pint/stein with them?
Atta boy jetch. I working up a good one now with some steak and pineapple on the grill and a nice bottle of Jim beam black.
i took a month off from reading this thread saving it up for a night where i had time to catch up...still delivering
I like how Jetch's lady has put the fancy soap out on the soap dish but the pump action bath and body works is out for everyday use.
On that note: Whenever I don't like someone.. I'll go and wet up the fancy soap just to piss off the girl of the house.
On that note: Whenever I don't like someone.. I'll go and wet up the fancy soap just to piss off the girl of the house.
quote:
I'll go and wet up the fancy soap just to pretend I washed my hands
FIFY
gotsta rock the "E" soap for decoration. straight baller.
Gotta situational for you fellas.
Every dreaded once in a while, I enter the facilities ready to unleash some fury. But upon entering I see that both stalls are occupied. Oh no.
So to avoid the walk of shame back to my desk, after only being in the restroom for 5 seconds, I will usually make the split decision to go let out a little piss at the urinal, so my trip isnt completely fruitless. And I'm not waiting in line for the office ****ter like its halftime at the stadium.
While I am at the urinal, one of the stalls closes up shop, and the user exits to the sink, am I allowed to move from the urinal to the stall? How long should I give him? I assume I dont want to brush shoulders trying to squeeze in there, but should I let him exit completely?
Every dreaded once in a while, I enter the facilities ready to unleash some fury. But upon entering I see that both stalls are occupied. Oh no.
So to avoid the walk of shame back to my desk, after only being in the restroom for 5 seconds, I will usually make the split decision to go let out a little piss at the urinal, so my trip isnt completely fruitless. And I'm not waiting in line for the office ****ter like its halftime at the stadium.
While I am at the urinal, one of the stalls closes up shop, and the user exits to the sink, am I allowed to move from the urinal to the stall? How long should I give him? I assume I dont want to brush shoulders trying to squeeze in there, but should I let him exit completely?
Milwaukees Best Light
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AG
The ruse of taking a wizz is standard operating procedure, but you cannot let on that it is a ruse. Therefore, you have to wait until the previous occupant has completely left the facilities. Sometimes this can be challenging if the previous dumper got some brown on the hands while wiping and takes extra long at the sink, or if there is another sort of delay. Keep your mind on your pretend wizzing, never give up your act, and never give away your full intentions.
once the washing of the hands has begun... you are free to enter said stall IMHO. Because that means he has walked past the urnial.. thus eliminating said awkward situation of contact (either physical or eye) while in the bathroom.
i agree, but i absolutely hate the feeling of a warm seat...just messes with my head.
normally if i walk in and both are taken, i'll wash my hands and walk out. then head down to the floor under us and try theirs.
normally if i walk in and both are taken, i'll wash my hands and walk out. then head down to the floor under us and try theirs.
Or when he comes out of the stall you can say "Is that the best you can do? Let me show you how it's done.".
Had the Ruse Pee backfire on me in Vegas. Had the need to unload at some nightclub. Hit the bathroom and it was extremely small for the club size. One pooper, one pisser. Got in there to find somone alread taking care of business in the pooper, so I hopped onto the pisser. Then some other dude walked in. So I was automatically screwed because if I finished before the pooper I'd have to wash up and head out, if I finished after the new guy would most likely hop into the ****ter stall whether he was peeing or pooing. So I just wrapped it up and hit the sink automatically planning a short return. Then the new dude turned on the sink for me and began cleaning my jacket with a lint brush. It was then that I realized he was the bathroom attendant and not a customer. Who Knew? Dude was white and wearing a suit, never seen a white bathroom attendant before. Anyways, it was then that I realized I would never be able to return to that bathroom to drop a duece with an attendant sitting mere feet from my seat. I was just glad it worked out with him coming in while I was peeing. I'd have been pissed if I hopped off the ****ter and walked out to an attendant staring me down.
What about the presence of the second pooper?
Does this change the rules of engagement? Im leaning on "no", as I know he probably goes through the same ritual.
Does this change the rules of engagement? Im leaning on "no", as I know he probably goes through the same ritual.
quote:
normally if i walk in and both are taken, i'll wash my hands and walk out. then head down to the floor under us and try theirs.
This. If you have access to another floor, do so because if you turn to go from the pisser to the stall at the same time someone else walks in, you are in an awkward race to the open seat.
Also, the mensroom on our floor has one long common wall - when you walk in, the sink then the pissers then the stalls on your one side and the blank wall on the other. If you are standing at the sink, you can see if somone is at a urinal or if a stall door opens/closes out of the corner of your eye.
I think some rules get suspended at airports - got edged out a couple times by waiting for an appropriately open pisser at IAH - some goose stepping bladder stressed speed walkers couldn't observe man law and wait on me and a couple of other dudes waiting to take a piss.
I walked in on someone taking a dump at Duddley's once. I don't know how many rules that breaks.
No lock on the bathroom door.
No sort of doors at all surrounding the toilet. It just sits by itself next to the trough.
Toilet is adjusted to flush just enough water to un-yellow the water, but in no way can handle a hearty BM.
No lock on the bathroom door.
No sort of doors at all surrounding the toilet. It just sits by itself next to the trough.
Toilet is adjusted to flush just enough water to un-yellow the water, but in no way can handle a hearty BM.
when you gotta go, you gotta go
I had the pleasure of pub crawling (this past weekend) with a guy who is notorious for his public pooping. So during our Saint Arnold's crawl, this guy decided to poop at Beer Island. He grabbed a free newspaper... some bar napkins and waited for about 10 minutes in line. After a 20 minute poop session, the bathroom line cheers him as he leaves.
It was so funny yet so disgusting at the same time.
It was so funny yet so disgusting at the same time.
heading down to the GRB today for the NAPE Convention... i may have to be making a trek up to the desolate 3rd floor on the opposite end for some groganing.
Damn wearing a full suit too, i hate having to untuck a fresh shirt etc when the doo comes a rumbling.
Damn wearing a full suit too, i hate having to untuck a fresh shirt etc when the doo comes a rumbling.
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