Nope.
Lunch teeth brushers at work
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Last: 9 mo ago by Milwaukees Best Light
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Can't decide if I really want to go here.........
Why not. In the midst of a colon cleaning as we speak. Most disgustingly bizarre experience ever........
Why not. In the midst of a colon cleaning as we speak. Most disgustingly bizarre experience ever........
how the hell is this thread this long?
~egon
~egon
because ere'one poops
Egon, seriously start on page 1... this has been epic while youve been away traveling the seas.
I don't know if this has been discussed, but what about a random guy at a urinal talking to you while you're standing at another urinal. This guy started having a conversation this morning and I had to wait till he left. Shy bladder hit
^
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Yep - if not outright explained, it is at least alluded to.
For those not willing to wade through the previous 1000 or so posts, men's room ettiquette is to leave one urinal between you and any other person standing at a urinal.
Possible exceptions:
Sounds like random chatty Kathy you encountered is unfamiliar with men's room rules. You could go as far as giving him the stank eye for the duration of your urination and though the shake and zip but it would probably be best to ignore him and properly stare at the wall or ceiling. If he becomes more aggressive in tone or attempts to peer over any divider or otherwise into your personal space, pissing on his shoes is not ruled out.
hth
[This message has been edited by Arminius (edited 1/24/2011 10:58p).]
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Yep - if not outright explained, it is at least alluded to.
For those not willing to wade through the previous 1000 or so posts, men's room ettiquette is to leave one urinal between you and any other person standing at a urinal.
Possible exceptions:
- men's room with only two urinals
- trough-style urinal(s) regardless of contruction (metal, concrete, etc.)
- men uneducated in such ettiquette (forgiveable only in cases of "bladder emergencies" or drastically different cultures)
- you know the person at the pisser next to you and were conversing prior to entering the head
- person has been heavily drinking or is on mind-altering drugs
Sounds like random chatty Kathy you encountered is unfamiliar with men's room rules. You could go as far as giving him the stank eye for the duration of your urination and though the shake and zip but it would probably be best to ignore him and properly stare at the wall or ceiling. If he becomes more aggressive in tone or attempts to peer over any divider or otherwise into your personal space, pissing on his shoes is not ruled out.
hth
[This message has been edited by Arminius (edited 1/24/2011 10:58p).]
I know the leave one in between rule, but there were only two.
Thats when you rip ass while looking right at him and grinning.
rsmithtesiusa,
thoughts and prayers. been there one time for a colonoscopy (last year...at 25 years old).
i dont wish the colon cleanse on my worst enemies
[This message has been edited by spadilly (edited 1/24/2011 11:29p).]
thoughts and prayers. been there one time for a colonoscopy (last year...at 25 years old).
i dont wish the colon cleanse on my worst enemies
[This message has been edited by spadilly (edited 1/24/2011 11:29p).]
after I told a buddy of mine about this thread... he told me that all of his discharges were like garter snakes.. long thin suckers and that curled up.... I then realized I should never tell anyone else about this thread because I now know too much about him.
I was watching Jeopardy with the old lady last night and started laughing when the category regarding 'Authors' asked a question about who wrote the book 'Marley and me'
Answer: Who is Grogan.
Answer: Who is Grogan.
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when i was a kid and still sometimes to this day, I hated taking late night dumps or pisses. I had always heard about a python being flushed down the toilet and it coming up someone else's crapper when they were in there late at night. I was always scared it was going to happen to me.
[This message has been edited by Stimulus Package (edited 1/25/2011 9:22a).]
[This message has been edited by Stimulus Package (edited 1/25/2011 9:22a).]
Me too, I saw that on some tv show when I was a kid
I had a near horror story whilst ****ting yesterday at work.
I thought I had ventured into the woman's restroom at work. I was doing my business and someone answered the phone and it was a woman. I thought surely I didn't go into the woman's room while in a haze from excel hell, but was preparing myself to sit on that toilet until 5:30 so I wouldn't be detected. Then luckily she got up as someone was coming in. I've never been so relieved to hear a dude's voice b/c I was in fact in the men's room.
I thought I had ventured into the woman's restroom at work. I was doing my business and someone answered the phone and it was a woman. I thought surely I didn't go into the woman's room while in a haze from excel hell, but was preparing myself to sit on that toilet until 5:30 so I wouldn't be detected. Then luckily she got up as someone was coming in. I've never been so relieved to hear a dude's voice b/c I was in fact in the men's room.
So then the question becomes...wtf was the woman doing in there?
My mom told me once when I misbehaved that freddy krueger was going to come up the toilet and get me. Not something you want to hear when you're a little kid.
She was dropping a mean **** and hogging loogies. At first I thought it was this dude that is notorious for spitting in the urinal while he's pissing, but then she answered her phone. The panic that ensued in my head was something I would not wish on my worst enemy....well besides Obama.
It was right after lunch so I guess she got some bad Indian food and in her rush to relieve her ass she went into the wrong room.
Thank God I didn't know who it was. I probably never would have been able to look at the the same again.
It was right after lunch so I guess she got some bad Indian food and in her rush to relieve her ass she went into the wrong room.
Thank God I didn't know who it was. I probably never would have been able to look at the the same again.
Had an experience yesterday that really made me feel dirty. I was enjoying the passing of a telephone-like pole. Anyway, evidently it was long enough to bottom out in the bowl while still attached. When it finally released from my orifice, instead of slipping innocently down the drain, it fell forward and dealt a glancing blow to the backside of my boys. My initial thought was what the hell was that and when I figured it out, I grabbed a piece of paper and gave them a quick wipe to assess the damage. Sure enough, I had a brown smear. Try as I may to cleanse myself, I felt unsanitary until I was able to take a shower after work.
sh*t
You are in Houston. Could have been a dude who was getting ready for the surgery.
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Brown Ballin it aye?
@ houaggie
In that case, is it acceptable to wash your balls in the sink? Next to the guy brushing his teeth? Or personal favorite, the guy washing his tupperware from lunch?
@HouAggie!!!
my buddy has a pretty solid story about taking a piss. went to let out a small fart and ended up w/ a pant full of moderately explosive s*** water. he was at work. he immediately sought shelter in the handicrap stall and feverishly attempted a clean up. unsuccessful, and with stained pants, his only option was to go home...needing the elevator to take him and his s*** pants down 35 stories. as luck would have it, the elevator made several stops along the way. he, backed up into the corner, could only watch the facial shock of those who entered once the wall of s*** vapor hit them.
that is probably my 2nd favorite story behind my other friend who, while driving his wife to the hopital, caught the same virus and instantly threw up and s**** himself just after being able to pull the car over...yet not soon enough to vacate the vehicle. he then lost consciousness and, after coming to, could only tell the parametics that arrived "i think i s*** my pants".
that is probably my 2nd favorite story behind my other friend who, while driving his wife to the hopital, caught the same virus and instantly threw up and s**** himself just after being able to pull the car over...yet not soon enough to vacate the vehicle. he then lost consciousness and, after coming to, could only tell the parametics that arrived "i think i s*** my pants".
That reminds me of one of the funniest voicemails I got was from a co-worker who on his way to work called me (team lead) to tell me he was going to be late because he sneeze-sharted...while driving and he had to go home and change his pants and take a shower. We put a roll of toliet paper and a box of tissues on his desk to make him feel awkward when he finally arrived.
wow. This thread continues to deliver!
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I had a buddy do something similar at a tatty club in lubbock. He had on linen pants and un underwear. It was pretty awkward walking in seeing him bare ass washing his pants in the sink.
Same guy took a dump on one of the Sorority's dining room table. During said dump, his wallet fell out. I forgot what he got charged with for that one.
Same guy took a dump on one of the Sorority's dining room table. During said dump, his wallet fell out. I forgot what he got charged with for that one.
blue parachute for the contributions of pg.30
Had a situation occur the other day, at CHURCH (before the service). Taking a squirt at the urinal when who walks in, yep, the preacher. I immediately look down so as to not make eye contact, but it was too late. The preacher says good morning, them moves to the stall. Quickly I pinch it off, shake, zip and proceed to the sink. After washing, I turn off the water and reach for the paper towels. I immediately regretted this decision because of the momentary silence that turning off the water brought was interrupted by said preacher blowing his duck call loudly. Needless to say, I got the hell outta there before I could smell anything, but, my question is could you sit through the sermon without thinking of the wretched noises you just heard?
he was just exorcising the brown demons
just when i thought this thread could be reaching the end of its useful life...
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