Catch?

How much for a pound?

A little off topic here, but which restroom lack-of-privacy situation would bother you most?

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I was literally crying I was laughing so hard reading the review about the guy trying to woo the German chick after eating the gummy bears. Priceless.

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Can't stop laughing.

Has anyone heard from Catch?

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Has anyone heard from Catch?

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Still here. My experience wasn't quite as bad as most the stories, though technically it should have been worse. All I had in my system when I ate them was coffee, rum pound cake and coke. Are a good bit of the bears around 3pm and then went to BWs for dinner. Had hot wings and about 3 Bud Lights before the first round hit. It wasn't anything terribly out of the ordinary, typical booze ****s. Went to Doghouse after that where I ended up blowing ass twice. Total liquid stream at this point. But I felt great after each release. Then we walked to Big Top on Main, but detoured to Double Trouble so I could use thier facilities in lieu of Big Tops. Cleared myself out again and then decide to tempt fate by drinking a couple Irish coffees. The detour evidently didn't prevent me from having to use Big Tops ****ter, because I found my way there after about two beers. Finished off the evening with some Taco-A-Go-Go which was ironically the only place we went that I didn't ****. Got home and made a b-line straight to the ****ter to close off the night before going to bed. That was when I finally got the red ass from all the ****ing and wiping. Had a 6am wake up call, but was mostly has and just a little squirt, but the burning ******* was definitely still in full effect. My first morning **** seemed to be back to the standard party mud consistency. Only **** 3 times yesterday, which is about normal for me. So I think it was all out of my system. And as I just finished wiping as I wrap up this report, I'm happy to say my ******* is back to about 97%.

Huuuuuuuhhh Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh dropping loads

I am new to the workforce. Jsut graduated a year ago and this thread is amazing. I have those people at my work. I talk about them often to my friends.

This is weird that I have noticed this, but our stalls shut themselves even when not occupied. So you kind of have to glance in the stall slightly, when looking for a stall. I have seen MANY men on the throne shirtless. Is this common??

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I have seen MANY men on the throne shirtless. Is this common??

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http://postgradproblems.com/i-go-costanza-style-in-the-office-****ter-but-why/

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The Bathroom Costanza – The “Bathroom Costanza” is the practice of de-shirting before occupying a toilet seat, and remaining shirtless throughout the duration of one’s time on said seat. Per George Costanza, this enables one to feel free and unhindered while completing the task at hand.

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[This message has been edited by Tom Hagen (edited 12/24/2013 9:48a).]

I work on the same floor as our CEO. Last year I went in the restroom after lunch and there he is giving his teeth a good scrub down. I walked in behind him as I entered and handled my business hoping he would be gone by the time I returned but no such luck. It was very awkward to say the least trying to be cordial to the boss as he has tooth paste falling out is his mouth. I still remember the eye contact we made through the mirror.

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I work on the same floor as our CEO. Last year I went in the restroom after lunch and there he is giving his teeth a good scrub down. I walked in behind him as I entered and handled my business hoping he would be gone by the time I returned but no such luck. It was very awkward to say the least trying to be cordial to the boss as he has tooth paste falling out is his mouth. I still remember the eye contact we made through the mirror.

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Still proud to be the creator of such a fine thread. Good to see it reappear

I feel like I need to read this thread, but it might take me a couple weeks to do so

I had a pretty huge load the other week. I know it was huge because of the amount of **** that was peeking out of the water. If my **** is out of the water at work, it’s a pretty huge ****. There are high water levels in this particular toilet that is "my go to" at work.

I usually flush right after my first wave of **** hits the water, but I forgot to this time. So, I end up building up a pretty bad stench in there. I realize I forgot to flush once I'm near done. To give you an idea of how bad it was: I was starting to not like my own smell which is how bad it had gotten. At this point, I decide I should plan for an exit strategy - try and leave when nobody else is in there. I flush multiple times, but I can't get rid of the streaks/stains. I figure I've tried enough after 3 flushes, and make my way out.

Once I hit the stall door to go wash up at the sink, in comes a new hire that works down the hall from me into the bathroom. There is only one sit down in this particular bathroom as well, and he heads straight for where he had seen me just leave. My exit plan was ruined, but oh well, it was beyond my control at that point.

As I start to wash my hands, I see he had stopped in his tracks in the stall. He pauses for what seems like a good while a few feet away from the stall, and I figure he must be facing the decision, “I have to go, but how urgent is this?”

Based on my nasty to urgent-need-to-go understanding, he must have had to go pretty badly. I see him go in as I'm leaving the bathroom, and I feel a little bad for him at that point. I have been there before, and those are some of my more uncomfortable ****s. The seat still warm from the previous visitor; the lingering odor; the **** stains and streaks you can’t help but notice before you sit down. But, when you gotta go, gotta go now, so you bare the environment, and push through to the end as quick as you can.

So, I exit the bathroom. There is a coffee bar right outside, and I stop to get a cup before retreating back to my office. As I'm filling up, I hear the poor guy in there groaning. It must of been bad, because I've gotten many coffees here and don't ever remember a groaner I can hear from the coffee bar.

I can also pick up on two distinct types of groan types as I'm mixing my drink. There is what I call the good type of groan that comes along with an urgent dump. When you really gotta go and are able to finally let loose, the groan has more of a "ahhhh" ring to it. So, I hear that one, but then I also hear another type of groan being mixed int. It's the painful "uhhhhhh" groans. I can only imagine the "uhhhh" of disgust where from what I left him in.

So, I imagine this poor guy sitting in the stench and scene of what I left, in some type of horrible disgust that he has no choice but to take a **** in. However, he is also relieved to be able to let loose. It was like I had invented a new type of an emotion in a brief moment of this guy's life, and all of sudden I thought the scene in my head of this poor guy was going through was pretty funny.

So, I start laughing to myself. I realize he might think it's me out there laughing at the situation, cause if I can hear him in there groaning, he can probably hear me laughing. I move fast at this point, and retreat back to my office. Still laughing, trying to control it.

Me and him don't cross paths very often at work, but when we do, he has been clearly glaring at me for the past several weeks. We have yet to trade words since that day.

Thats a solid story

i hate those fuggin hand dryers ... we have those in our office bathrooms

they are still semi-novel for me, but i hate that the water from your hands just drips onto the floor.

I dropped a load of timber earlier, and by that I mean my turd stood up like a tree until I could no longer feel it making southern progress as I had bottomed out the commode. Upon lifting up a bit I sawed off the top at which point momentum took over and it fell like a redwood and left a glancing blow at the top of the porcelain. I'm just lucky it didn't strike the back of my nads on the way down. Racing stripe on the throne is one thing, racing stripe on the boys is another....

Some ******* at work manages to splatter mud on the back of the bowl every day.

We have a sign on our downstairs toilets that says "Please do not stand on toilet seats." I think it's for our eastern hemisphere workers, if you know what I mean.

Also, I do a partial costanza... flip undershirt up over my dress shirt in the front to make sure nothing loose touches the seat. But I keep both shirts on...


Side note have you ever done your time-value of restroom calculation? Basically average shut time in fraction of hours per day while at work x hourly wage (salary / 2080) ?

[This message has been edited by SpreadsheetAg (edited 1/11/2014 10:02p).]

I work in a small office...7 girls and I'm the only male. I live nearby so if I have to poop I normally go home.

So, this past Wednesday I went to take a whiz and like a gentleman. I lifted the seat....to find a large amount of blood under the seat...............

If I am washing my hands and someone comes in and heads for the stall I just annihilated I will usually say "that seat is still warm," that way they can choose another one. Unless it's someone that I don't like, then I commence to do a little scoreboard dance in my head.

Bump to prevent thread from disappearing after reminder given by the Pakistani poachers who tag-teamed the 2 stalls on our floor and did a synchronized non-hand-wash on the way out. I think I saw a subtle nod of approval exchanged between them as they passed the sinks without a second thought, confirming their kinship and membership and in their disgusting, non-hygienic club. Needless to say, the combination of BO and curry bombs has made the bathroom unusable.

Just walked in for the pre-lunch time ritual (gotta free up that space) and I find myself face to face with one of our directors who says to me - "handi-sh*tter is full" as he looked me dead in the eye. I thought my head would explode from trying to hold in the laughter.

I'm always hoping for blue water...sign you're the first one on the throne after the cleaning lady has been there to tidy up.

watchlisted for later - just heard about this awesome thread

So my 11yr old son is playing soccer on Sunday and I notice moving really slow! Just does not seem into the game and what is going on which is unusual for him. After, I mentioned we were going to stop at my sisters who lived close by. He said “good, I really have to GO and it’s going to be BIG!” I asked him if that was why he was playing so slow. “Yes!”. When I asked why he did not just run to the BR at half time, he said “Because I would have been in there for a LONG time!”.

So we get to my sisters, goes to the BR and is in fact in there for a long time. I finally hear a flush but he does not come out….??? I ask him if he’s OK and he says “Yes, I’m fine”. Several minutes later he finally appears, we chit chat a bit with my sister and leave. We get in the car and he says “You heard me flush because that’s what you told me to do. You told me (dad voice) ‘when you have a big dump, you flush in the middle so the toilet does not get clogged when you wipe’”…..I had to stop the car I was laughing so hard.

Holy crap, I did not know this thread existed!!

There is no way I can read 60+ pages of this - but definitely have to send this link to a former co-worker of mine!

We worked in an environment where we had to open an investigation on other co-workers to find a particular ass-ailant - or was he the poop-itrator?!?

Funky buttlovin, just read the original first 5 pages while my old lady is in there cooking dinner and am laughing my anus off again. Those were some good ass days

Received, 51Merc. Thank you sir.

I'll catch up on this thread the next time (or two) on the ****ter.

[This message has been edited by nom de plume (edited 2/18/2014 7:24p).]

How is it possible to get poop on the front part of the outer rim? Walked in today and found someone managed to do this.

This week I received a frightening reminder of the dangers associated with the courtesy flush. I knew it was a pretty solid multi-logger, but I decided to completely finish my business before flushing. When I did hit the power flush, it basically lifted each log of the turd teepee straight up. Somehow it spun the largest one around enough to break the plane of the seat, and smack the front of the bowl, right at the gap in the front of the seat.

It was like watching a meteor hit a bus, obliterating the exact seat you just vacated.

[This message has been edited by Quantum ace (edited 2/19/2014 9:55a).]