Lunch teeth brushers at work
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Last: 9 mo ago by Milwaukees Best Light
Very interesting here.
quote:
Then it's the awkward after poop walk of shame.
You shouldn't hang your head after a quality dump, sir. You should hold your head high and outwardly display how good and clean your bowels feel. Don't let that clean lady get you down. I'm feeling like there is a sense of jealousy in her part. All those cheese enchiladas must have her corked up.
What's the best way to fend off / punish "poachers"? We have almost the entire floor at our building and the only other office is unoccupied. So every time I see a ramdom dude wandering around or getting off the elevator on our floor, I know that he's about to engage in some illegal dumping. I'd be hypocritical to say that I've never squatted on someone else's parcel, but if possible I will use the basement / mail room racquetball court sized sanctuary if our stalls are being violated (in fact, I prefer that one if not in a death-clinch sprint to drop a curry/chinese/barbacoa bomb) . You may think "why do you care?" Well, we are 80% male, with a few large, sweaty grunters, so we don't need and cannot handle the extra traffic, especially from the likes of the riff-raff that I've seen lurking around.
So what is the best way to get the "not welcome" message across?
So what is the best way to get the "not welcome" message across?
quote:
So what is the best way to get the "not welcome" message across?
Remove the toilet seat and only have it accessible to those who have authority to squat on that particular hopper.
Chocolate syrup all over the seat.
Milwaukees Best Light
Joined:
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AG
Combo pad lock and only tell the 'chosen few' the combo. You'd probably have Quannel marching on your floor demanding equal access to crappers for all, but probably worth the risk.
quote:
"Having a bathroom is a privilege. It is called a 'ladies room' for a reason. And if you can not behave like ladies, well then you are not going to have a bathroom."
Have a urinal etiquette question here:
Set - up:
3 urnials (2 normal, 1 shorter/lower one) with high partitions between the three.
4 stalls (2 being used, 1 open and in bad shape the other is open)
Scenario:
So a guy walks in seconds before me and grabs the far left urnial (normal size) and then I am now bound (by the rules of the mens room) to take the far urinal. Well I walk over there and it is the short/lower urnial..... I am a farily tall guy and i would look retarded using it.
Anyway, I go to the middle one (normal size) and do my business and all of a sudden you hear this guy calls me out.... yes... he said 'Why did you have to take a piss near me? The other one was open.'
My question is... should I have pissed on his shoes?
[This message has been edited by tamulax33 (edited 12/20/2010 12:23p).]
Set - up:
3 urnials (2 normal, 1 shorter/lower one) with high partitions between the three.
4 stalls (2 being used, 1 open and in bad shape the other is open)
Scenario:
So a guy walks in seconds before me and grabs the far left urnial (normal size) and then I am now bound (by the rules of the mens room) to take the far urinal. Well I walk over there and it is the short/lower urnial..... I am a farily tall guy and i would look retarded using it.
Anyway, I go to the middle one (normal size) and do my business and all of a sudden you hear this guy calls me out.... yes... he said 'Why did you have to take a piss near me? The other one was open.'
My question is... should I have pissed on his shoes?
[This message has been edited by tamulax33 (edited 12/20/2010 12:23p).]
I've had to resort to using the kiddie urinal before in order to place the mandatory 1 stall buffer. It's not really that hard if you can aim.
If there's a partition who cares
Should have told him to grow up whilst pissing on his shoes
Should have told him to grow up whilst pissing on his shoes
quote:
If there's a partition who cares
this.
no shyguy rules apply if there is a divider between urinals.
If you're not a legal midget in the eyes of the State, then you should not feel forced to use the short one. **** that guy and his should-have-been pee covered shoes.
FYI, urinal dividers that don't go all the way to the floor do nothing to keep any pee splash off your shoes and legs if your neighboring peer hits the floor any.
I wish I could find a picture of Billy Madison falling over trying to take a whiz in that elementary school urinal.
in this scenario, i would have taken the stall
You should have pooped on his shoes as well. If a guy calls me out like that in a restroom, there might have been a fight.
Here's one way to ensure no one pees next to you.
[This message has been edited by Westicles (edited 12/20/2010 12:39p).]
[This message has been edited by Westicles (edited 12/20/2010 12:39p).]
Ha, here's the website that picture is from. Apprently this exact thing is written out. Second one from the top.
http://manlawguide.com/
http://manlawguide.com/
quote:
Every man shall allow one empty urinal of separation in a bathroom with three or more urinals.
Exceptions
Law is void if there are dividers in between each urinal.
If all urinals are taken, one may wait, but must provide plenty of room between themselves and urinal users, and wait until the current urinal user has turned away and zipped up before approaching urinal.
Terms & Conditions
Sitting down to pee is forbidden and will result in loss of “man” status.
OK, how about this one: You need to take a raging dump, and a piss too. There are other dudes in the can.
Do you piss at the urinal, and then hit the crapper risking a wet willie or turtlehead while pissing, or do you just go straight for the crapper and try to disguise your pissing while dumping?
Do you piss at the urinal, and then hit the crapper risking a wet willie or turtlehead while pissing, or do you just go straight for the crapper and try to disguise your pissing while dumping?
There's nothing wrong with taking a leak while taking a dump.
It is against the rules to sit to pee only. That loses you a notch off of the man card.
It is against the rules to sit to pee only. That loses you a notch off of the man card.
Who doesn't pee at least a little bit when they take a raging dump? No need to disguise that, but if you are just peeing and don't need to take a load off, then that is definitely against the rules...
I'll take a sit to piss if I have really bad swamp ass and I know I need to partake in a regulatory wipe or two anyway.
quote:
OK, how about this one: You need to take a raging dump, and a piss too. There are other dudes in the can.
Move to "plan B" bathroom, always have a plan B...
I am about to go pound out a grog in another floor's craphouse.
My neighbor, who has been introduced to this thread and has been unleashing the beast for the last 30 minutes, is still on this floor and I do not want to interrupt.
[This message has been edited by KT_Ag08 (edited 12/20/2010 1:47p).]
My neighbor, who has been introduced to this thread and has been unleashing the beast for the last 30 minutes, is still on this floor and I do not want to interrupt.
[This message has been edited by KT_Ag08 (edited 12/20/2010 1:47p).]
quote:This is exactly what I was looking for while writing my story. I couldn't find it. I bet Jetch could
I wish I could find a picture of Billy Madison falling over trying to take a whiz in that elementary school urinal.
if you recreationally sit JUST to piss, you are a Mary.
If your bathroom is set up correctly, sitting to piss the morning after an epic night of drinking can provide not only relief but the possibility of a little nap resting your head against the towel hanging from the towel rack.
But typically, said night of epic drinking was followed by epic gorging on a TC supernachos or Whataburger or some other open 24 hours grease-sop to head off said inevitable hangover, so the toilet trip has a legit purpose.
I've been known to sit on the crapper and take a leak when in my own home in order to also pass gas safely and have a few minutes of peaceful undisturbed reading, hoping to summon up a movement for justification.
[This message has been edited by MouthBQ98 (edited 12/20/2010 3:59p).]
I've been known to sit on the crapper and take a leak when in my own home in order to also pass gas safely and have a few minutes of peaceful undisturbed reading, hoping to summon up a movement for justification.
[This message has been edited by MouthBQ98 (edited 12/20/2010 3:59p).]
When I go (in my home) I often sit so I can play my travel yahtzee and/or catch up on a few chapters of the book I was reading.
I play Angry Birds... but I am also usually trying to work up a dook.
Playin some catchup after a mini ban-retreat while keepin it real.
Is that a hairy exposed leg on the left!?
the ol' trusty green chair. Now if anyone comes over to my house you know youll be looking. ITS BEEN FLAGGED!
That's a small picture, but is anyone else reading "scat fetish porn" in the upper right hand search bar?
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