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KT_Ag08
posted 1:34p, 01/18/11


Is there any way to get a bleach mixture into that bad boy? A friend wants to know.

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Your friend must go by the name "Borat".

This thread just reminded me about my funniest college story.


So my roommate Josh and I had an open room for the summer so we let some random guy rent it for the summer. Well all he did was work out and eat... unlike us who just drank and chased tail. Anyway, he brought home this extremely hot hotsauce one weekend because of his new fad diet or something. This sauce was called insanity sauce. The sauce is so hot that it even said something about being able to remove grease from a driveway on the label. Dave, being a big strong guy, thought he could handle it... well he couldn't, way too hot for him. In fact, it was so bad that he went to the hospital that afternoon because it burned his mouth so bad.

Well, Josh (my roommate) and I planned on having a party that weekend and we decided to get our guy friends to try the stuff as the night went on. We usually just had one drop (unless you were a d*ck) fall on a cracker and then laughed as the guy cried. Well the party went great and finally after the last few people left Josh and I went to bed with our new found lady friends....

And then it happened. It was the loudest scream I have ever heard and it scared the crap out of me. I ran out of my bedroom (each of our rooms were down the hall from each other and seperated by a bathroom) and see a girl with her jeans and undies down near her shins peguin running to the bathroom while screaming bloody murder... At first I am embarrassed but then get to Josh's room and he is rolling on the bed laughing... I ask what happened and all he does is put up two fingers and say 'Insanity Sauce'. I then start laughing and walk back to my room and when I do I look in the bathroom and this girl is in the shower (still with pants down) and all she is doing is spraying her cooch with the water and rubbing it so fast it would make Sasha Grey jealous. The girl was forever known in our house as Insanity girl.



Anyway, I am glad I have sick internet friend who will enjoy this story because I don't tell it very often but when I do... I laugh just thinking about that night. Again, everything told here in this post is entirely true and I have witnesses (in fact Josh posts here on Texags).

[This message has been edited by tamulax33 (edited 1/18/2011 2:15p).]

given the tone of this thread, i was going to assume he insta-s**t the bed while engaging in extra-curriculars.

I don't play games on my phone in the bathroom.

Hilarious

it was the shower nozzle that reminded me of that night.

i'm guessing insanity sauce residue transferred during the finger dance of love burned her lady parts?

edit: ok, having re-read it, i see that that's exactly what happened. did she ever show her face again?

[This message has been edited by schmendeler (edited 1/18/2011 2:34p).]

Yeah she was pretty much a regular at our house parties but never 'stayed' over after that. I saw her a few times in Dallas after school but I am too nice to bring that night up in front of her again.

poor girl

I guess she was "one hot piece of *****."

I want to cry just reading that.

Not to derail the story about the fire crotch but I just got neighbor stalled by a groaner. I think he is trying to give himself a blumpkin while he craps out the last week's worth of food. Dude just keeps going.

Nice story

holy sh*t, im playing catchup on this thread from yesterday and am rollin'

Although the loose roll is always prefered, always properly secure it to avoid embarrassing situations like this. Best case, you have a sidestalling marauder (the only time they are welcome) than can help out by rolling it back your way. Hopefully you didnt show up at a tail end of a fecal typhoon. Worst case, you have to hop your mocha iced ass over to the next stall. You run a high risk of getting busted doing the sheet hopscotch by an innocent coworker (or boss).



[This message has been edited by Comeby! (edited 1/19/2011 11:28a).]

Nice pic, but you forgot the hair on the ass.

And the python pubes all over the seat.

I opted out of showing the butt pimples. It got me a permaban a few years back.

I need a ruling on etiquette:

So assuming all rules of engagement have been followed as true gentlemen of the workplace should, what is proper protocol for who gets to leave first if there are 2 people obtaining the sweet relief of releasing their digestive finale at the same time? I say it is whoever makes the first noise on the tp roller indicating he is finishing up. If the tp starts rolling, the other guy has to wait until the flush and exit has occurred. No need for the awkward simultaneous hand washing and acknowledgment of who out funked the other.

What says the Texags captains of the craproom?

I agree. I also believe that the one droppin scud missiles should wait till a peer at the urinal finishes up and leaves before finishing up your business. I'm just in there a second dude, I don't want to hear you wipe flush then walk out and have to avoid eye contact when you could have just waited a few more seconds.

quote:

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I need a ruling on etiquette:

So assuming all rules of engagement have been followed as true gentlemen of the workplace should, what is proper protocol for who gets to leave first if there are 2 people obtaining the sweet relief of releasing their digestive finale at the same time? I say it is whoever makes the first noise on the tp roller indicating he is finishing up. If the tp starts rolling, the other guy has to wait until the flush and exit has occurred. No need for the awkward simultaneous hand washing and acknowledgment of who out funked the other.

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I often consider this ruling while sitting on the dumper. I agree with you, first to make noise on the TP holder gets out first. I am typically a few levels deep of an iPhone game or browsing this very website, so I usually yield regardless.

Yesterday whilst at the urinal i heard the door BUST open only to see the tiny little Euro-guy in the walltile reflection in a FULL SPRINT to the stall. After a frantic clanking of belt un-doing and quick zipper decent i heard what can only be described as Kramer dropping the big ball of oil from the 8th story of PlayNow on Seinfeld.

Im pretty sure his ass hadnt even hit the seat before the mud-menace came shooting... needless to say, i think ill stick to the Costanza private bathroom in the back today, as im sure the normal handi-crapper got it on the wall and grunt-rail yesterday.

quote:

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Yesterday whilst at the urinal i heard the door BUST open only to see the tiny little Euro-guy in the walltile reflection in a FULL SPRINT to the stall. After a frantic clanking of belt un-doing and quick zipper decent i heard what can only be described as Kramer dropping the big ball of oil from the 8th story of PlayNow on Seinfeld

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Having sprinted myself a few times, I always feel bad for those guys... I mean sometimes it just hits you and nothing can/should get in your way.

it was just funny, this little Euro-guy is a workplace bathroom enigma. I call him Hans, he is very wee and soft-spoken.

EVERYtime he comes in the facility, even to piss, he takes the middle stall. He always fidgets around for a minute or so in there then his piss stream sounds like someones pumping one of those old-time water wells pausing in between pee spurts. He has affectionately been deemed 'broken faucet' by the other gentlemen urinators of the corporation

I've started calling my dump sessions fraggers

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RenoAg
posted 11:40p, 01/19/11



I need a ruling on etiquette:

So assuming all rules of engagement have been followed as true gentlemen of the workplace should, what is proper protocol for who gets to leave first if there are 2 people obtaining the sweet relief of releasing their digestive finale at the same time? I say it is whoever makes the first noise on the tp roller indicating he is finishing up. If the tp starts rolling, the other guy has to wait until the flush and exit has occurred. No need for the awkward simultaneous hand washing and acknowledgment of who out funked the other.

What says the Texags captains of the craproom?

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The problem is that not everyone follows this etiquette (namely older gentlemen). In that case, you just give them the glare in the mirror while washing your hands, although it's really tough to make eye contact when someone pulls that move on you.

quote:

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I've started calling my dump sessions fraggers

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I've started calling mine "Tiger Woods".

But not for the same reasons you call yours Fragger.

i've been playing TW for the last few days. thanks for the tip.

All these messages remind me...a couple years back I was working on some renovations for the city hall building in League City and in order to comply with handicap guidelines, they ended up with an extra large handicap stall and one standard size one. Not unusual until you realized they kept a urinal inside the handicap toilet stall. I can imagine those two plumbing fixtures don't get used at the same time often.

[This message has been edited by ruSAL (edited 1/20/2011 10:56a).]

The tooth brusher strikes again! Saw that clown in there just a little while ago.

My most recent run-in with the flosser/tooth brusher was yesterday. We have two that frequent the facilities on my floor and both are Asian.