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Lunch teeth brushers at work

416,413 Views | 2665 Replies | Last: 9 mo ago by Milwaukees Best Light
jetch17
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that thing would have to curl upwards & underneath like a playdough fun factory gone haywire
flipper
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I worked at Target in college and one time we had to close the women's restroom because someone had splattered **** all over the stall. It was on the floor, the stall walls, the toilet. I don't even want to know how you do that.

I almost barfed just typing about it.
flipper
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Jetch, something is seriously wrong with you
MouthBQ98
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Hyperexplosive tarry diarrhea?
Mr07Ag
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This thread gets better and better each time I look at it! Good job all!
Sassafras42
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There is a legendary TexAgs thread about a poster who had said explosiveness at a Home Depot or Lowe's. Pure unfreakinbelievable gold.
Westicles
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quote:
KT_Ag08
posted 10:30a, 12/14/10


Based upon lower leg and arm that chick is easily a 1 on the binary scale.
jetch17
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and the Ryans Steakhouse thread, but that leads to immediate lockdown.
Mr07Ag
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Oh, as I was laughing about this last night my SO wanted to know what was so funny so I had her read it. Now, instead of just thinking of TA as my "creepy online friends" she now thinks we were all sick and disgusting.
Westicles
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Musta been before my time.
Westicles
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quote:
she now thinks we were all sick and disgusting.

We unfortunately are all of these things.
Sassafras42
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quote:
and the Ryans Steakhouse thread, but that leads to immediate lockdown.

That must have been it! Why a lockdown?? I probably don't have to think too hard given the comments on this thread.
tamulax33
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WESTICLES: I pmed you the story.




[This message has been edited by tamulax33 (edited 12/14/2010 11:25a).]
Mr07Ag
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If this thread gets locked I am going to be pissed!
Jackal99
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GD it! Send that story in a PM or something. Do NOT get this locked.
Jackal99
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quote:
she now thinks we were all sick and disgusting


You say that like there's something wrong with it.

Oh, and thanks, lax33.
KT_Ag08
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Every time I see 'lax' posted in this thread I start to giggle like a little school girl.
Mr07Ag
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quote:
quote:
she now thinks we were all sick and disgusting


You say that like there's something wrong with it.

No, I think of it as a badge of honor. I was just depressed. She has such a sick since of humor I thought she would think it was funny as well.
CATAGBQ04
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Got to read it again, thanks
Arminius
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There are some folks that I work whose breath smells like a rotting dead fish shat in some funk nasty yogurt.

I regularly offer them chewing gum to mask this breath of undead corpse but to no avail.

If it would help at all with the breath stank, I would have no problem with them brushing their teeth in the restroom. Maybe I could offer some of 79's wisps...
David_Puddy
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quote:
Arminius
posted 11:42a, 12/14/10



There are some folks that I work whose breath smells like a rotting dead fish shat in some funk nasty yogurt.

I regularly offer them chewing gum to mask this breath of undead corpse but to no avail.

If it would help at all with the breath stank, I would have no problem with them brushing their teeth in the restroom. Maybe I could offer some of 79's wisps...


That reminds me of one of the greatest Seinfeld episodes of all time - The Merv Griffin Show with Lou Filerman, the sidler.

ELAINE: Yes, Lou. you've got a lot going for you. You're...um...you're spontaneous. You're symmetrical. You're uh...you're very quick, aren't y'a? It's just that your...

LOU: My dead tooth?

ELAINE: No. Your. <breathes>

LOU: My breath?

ELAINE: Eechh.

LOU: What can I do?

ELAINE: Well, you should never ever go anywhere without these. <Tic Tacs>

LOU: Thanks, Elaine. You're such a super lady!
jetch17
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what about binaca? i cant... my cankers.
David_Puddy
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ELAINE: Lou! In here! We have to talk.

LOU: Oh, right.

ELAINE: No, stop it! Bad voodoo. You gotta stop using these.

LOU: Why?

ELAINE: Because they're turning your teeth green?

LOU: I only buy the white ones.

ELAINE: Okay...well then your teeth are green for a different reason. Just stop carrying these, okay? Just...just mouth wash.

LOU: I can't. It burns my cankers.

ELAINE: Binacca?

LOU: Again.

ELAINE: Right, right, cankers. Um, I got it! Chew gum!

LOU: I hate gum. The only guy I ever liked came with the Mickey Mouse gumball machine. They stopped making that about 20 years ago.

ELAINE: Well, stinky, this is your lucky day.
CATAGBQ04
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rednecked
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there should be a warning at the top of this thread to not read while eating lunch. You will simultaneously laugh your ass off and lose your appetite!
OldArmy07
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Westicles
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quote:
tamulax33
posted 11:20a, 12/14/10


WESTICLES: I pmed you the story.

Thanks! That's probably one of the best **** stories I've ever read. Very well written too.
jetch17
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oh hell yeah, the cleaning cart is currently docked at the entrance. Looks like a mad dash for the blue bowl will be happening shortly
jetch17
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Xanadoo!
HotardAg07
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And that's why jetch is the Tine board MVP
schmendeler
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i just can't stand when you snag the stall in the corner, and some dude comes and sits in the one next you when there's multiple open bays.
KT_Ag08
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Does anyone bring TP from home or even a travel pack of wet wipes? Our toilet paper feels like it is made of recycled sandpaper and razor blades and I am getting tired of abusing my balloon knot.
Lurker09
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I'm lucky I live across the street from work. For an extra two minute walk (99% of the time it works out fine as long as I didn't eat some crazy food) I can sit in the comfort of my own place and dump freely without having to hear fatties make god awful noises next to me.

I had a coworker that would purposefully tap his foot to make the other sheeters uncomfortable (this was after that politician got caught doing that a while back). That or he really was interested.
Thunder18
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there was a thread on rivalries about wet wipes a few years back...not only was it similar to this one in being incredibly hilarious, but also changed my outlook on post-grogan cleanliness forever
Arminius
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quote:
And that's why jetch is the Tine board MVP


Even after rolling late at the Texans game last night, he's all over TexAgs since first thing this a.m.
 
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