Everclear burns too much, especially if you start trying to light farts directly after.
Lunch teeth brushers at work
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Last: 9 mo ago by Milwaukees Best Light
hey catch i havent been reading this board too long but is there anything involving alcohol or drugs you haven't done?
Just witnessed a dude walk into the bathroom on his phone, go into a stall while still on the phone and commence to blowing mud while still on the phone in the middle of a conversation.
Wow...
Wow...
We have a phantom doodooer at work that likes to leave poo presents in the head at work who most recently took the opportunity to leave an impressively sized beached whale sans toilet paper this morning. What the hell do people eat that allows them to get a turd in one solid piece that is so long its like an alligator hanging out on the shoreline and yet require no cleanup duty? Or am I mistaken and this individual is even more nasty and walks around with mudbutt for the rest of the day?
[This message has been edited by Cromagnum (edited 5/25/2011 12:26p).]
[This message has been edited by Cromagnum (edited 5/25/2011 12:26p).]
Maybe he's from Mexico and his TP is in the trash.
quote:
What the hell do people eat that allows them to get a turd in one solid piece that is so long its like an alligator hanging out on the shoreline and yet require no cleanup duty? Or am I mistaken and this individual is even more nasty and walks around with mudbutt for the rest of the day?
Link to "Poo Log" posted on page 49:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0811863395/ref=sib_dp_pt#reader-link
quote:
The Clean Sweep
Synonyms: Wipeless Poo, The Perfect Wipe, Mr. Clean
Characteristics: In the cleanup phase, there is no poo residue on the toilet paper; some experts consider the "wipeless" poo to be the pinnacle of poo performance.
If the dude above didn't have a 'Clean Sweep', mud butt for sure...
[This message has been edited by Arminius (edited 5/25/2011 2:08p).]
UBB code fail...
[This message has been edited by Arminius (edited 5/25/2011 2:09p).]
Anyone have the jokesters that like to turn all the lights off in the crapper while some poor soul is dropping a deuce and can't do anything about it? Was on the throne yesterday and even had a poobuddy in the neighboring stall, and someone walks in seeing that both are occupied, turns the lights off, then leaves. Makes me want to pinch a loaf off in their coffee.
that's one of my three no-nos. don't eff with my food, don't eff with me while i'm sleeping, and don't eff with me while i'm taking a crap.
quote:
Was on the throne yesterday and even had a poobuddy in the neighboring stall, and someone walks in seeing that both are occupied, turns the lights off, then leaves.
Blue star for that man.
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whats worse than the airport s**tter?
The courthouse.
The courthouse.
Having the lights turned off is just another place where having a good cell phone matters. Just turn on the "flashlight", also known as the camera's flash and you are good to go.
Wow..this went well.
Had Primanti Bros last night and just dropped a huge grogan at work. I pretty much eat there once a week now that I live up here in Pittsburgh...they have a beer on special every night and some badass sandwiches
Drank about 8 beers or more last night and had about 6 mini barbacoa tacos last night. Blew that ***t up this morning.
Is it wrong to drink coffee whilst pooping?
Literally in one end out, out the other...
it's wrong to drink mcdonald's coffee, period
Recently started eating Activia yogurt for breakfast to test out the "100% guaranteed regulation of your digestion system" claim, and they aren't lying. That stuff puts your body on a perfect sh** schedule that you can time down to the minute of everyday.
Right now I have it timed for the lull point in each day, so that I don't have to go searching for a open stall after lunch.
Right now I have it timed for the lull point in each day, so that I don't have to go searching for a open stall after lunch.
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No AC in the crapper here. But I got a fan.
quote:
Right now I have it timed for the lull point in each day,
How do you time it? Does it make you need to go a certain time period after eating, so you just wait to eat it till it will fall where you want it to?
I have no idea how it works, but it has me visiting the porcelain throne at 2 PM everyday.
Kids eat Activia since they don't like the taste of the real stuff:
Activia may get you regular but this White Mountain stuff sets the clock for me...
Activia may get you regular but this White Mountain stuff sets the clock for me...
I'll try that out, looks like it may be cheaper.
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even Michael Berry is getting in on the stories:
quote:
Michael Berry
WARNING: SCATALOGICAL REFERENCES. Sorry to do this, but the many emails I've received after the Portland mailman pooping story tell me that lots of folks have a story to tell. Share it here. If it helps you open up, you can start your own story with "my friend did this . . . " Or, you can start, "Michael, I ain't skeerd. Guess where I once pooped."
Seems relevant here....
HBCanine08
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quote:
modestly hard with no strong smell
Fairly accurate description of me.
[This message has been edited by Red Five (edited 5/27/2011 4:15p).]
spadilly
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How the hell am I supposed to know how much my poop weighs?
poop on the scale and then get some bananas
quote:
whats worse than the airport s**tter?
Union Station in DC. I hadn't crapped in like 3 days while travelling (the Amtrak train on the Alkali Express shook so much that it was difficult to pee, let alone poop), and had no choice but to use the facilities when my train got there. Next stall over is some homeless guy whose trashbag of assorted possessions is spilling over under the stall divider. I don't know what homeless guys in DC eat, but I know what it smells like when they poop at Union Station. Not good my friend, not good.
[This message has been edited by Aggro (edited 5/27/2011 5:20p).]
WTF!!!!
Can you imagine hitting the ****ter to find someone left behind a nice star shaped turd for ya?
Can you imagine hitting the ****ter to find someone left behind a nice star shaped turd for ya?
wait a minute...is that what i think it is, some type of enema that forms shapes?
You guys need to stay in more if you haven't seen that 100 times by now.
Sweet Moses, the post memorial day Beer/BBQ gut dropping almost blew me off the seat....
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+1 jetch
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