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What's worse is actually being in a seat right by the toilet, cuz others do do their business and you get to experience every one of them.

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You should avoid seat 29E on Continental

Story:
http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/seat29e.asp

Complaint letter to Continental
http://msgboard.snopes.com/travel/graphics/seat29e.pdf

I don't know if this has been posted yet, but there is actually a website that covers most of the topics on this thread www.workpoop.com

Here is their glossary of poop:

AIR RAID POO When you sit down to poo and only farts come out

AN ARTIFACT This is a mostly solid poo that appears to be normal at first glance. Once flushed however, fecal remnants remain attached to the bottom of the bowl for the next pooper or poopers to discover.

CABBAGE POO Poo that comes out green.

CAJUN POO Poo that burns on the way out.

CANTALOUPE POO A turd that is as wide as it is long and makes a huge splash once it hits the toilet.

FLAME THROWER Similer to the salad shooter but causes the anus to burn due to the high levels of capsicum (makes hot peppers hot).

GHOST POO A poo that disappears once it hits the toilet. Kind of haunts you wondering where it went.

GUARD DOG A poo that hangs out in the anus and protects the butt from any unwanted perpetrators.

OBESE POO Poo that's so big it hurts coming out, brother of the Cantaloupe Poo.

PEEKABOO POO A poo that slides into the drain hole and only pokes its head out for a second when you flush than retreats down the drain again.

PERISCOPE POO Poo so huge that the poo is actually sticking out of the water.

POO MAN CHU A Poo Man Chu is when someone with really long butt hairs braids their hair like a goatee coming from their butt hole. It can also be emulated by hanging a long turd from your chin, but we do not recommend this.

RECURRING POO Every time you get done pooping and get up another one comes out.

SALAD SHOOTER A form of diarrhea that sprays out of your butt at a rapid pace.

SNAKE CHARMER A poo so big that you have to re-adjust your sitting position on the toilet and as the poo wiggles out. Whistling is optional and may help relaxing the poo out.

SPAGHETTI POO Poo that is so smooth and thin that it actually curls in the bowl.

SPLASH GUARD This term refers to the use of 3 to 6 squares of toilet paper placed atop the water as a buffer between the cold unforgiving water, and the pooper's anus.

UNDERACHIEVER POO A poo that is so small it wasn't worth pooping.

UPPER DECK An upper deck is where you take the top off of the back of the toilet and poop in the reserved water so that the poop is trapped. Everytime the toilet is flushed afterwards the toilet will be filled up with fresh poo water.

nice additions, and site reference.

i like how you can gauge your work poop $ rate on that site

Someone destroyed the porta-can this morning near where our running group meets. There was poo all over the seat. must have barely gotten his/her shorts down before going on him/herself.

it was probably this guy

edit: dont want to get this thread locked. Google 'Martathon Sh*t' for the obligatory running poop pic.

[This message has been edited by jetch17 (edited 1/15/2011 1:20p).]

I've seen that pic before. poor guy. I hope he won.

The runner (cropped out of the picture to protect both the innocent as well as this thread) has some real dedication.

I also like grandpa on the left who, despite the fact that he is staring just like everyone else, points and looks like he is about to shout, "Good luck and just remember the Gold Bond...!"

I avoid drinking before flying so I can avoid peeing on the plane. I'm be screwed if I had to poo.

Update on grogan games for iPhones:

Gravity Guy. From the makers of Fragger. Really dumb game but I find myself being more and more addicted the further I get. Ended up spending the 99 cents.

A little extra coffee this morning just produced a spaghetti, peekaboo, artifact.

Anyone else get a little bit of extra pleasure out of seeing those little bits come back up after the first flush calling for the double-flush?

after 2 days of boozing and hunting, i decided to eat a few boudin balls, a half pound of cracklin and some chocolate milk on the drive back from louisiana yesterday. terrible results.

yama hama.

I'm guessing you made a few "boudin balls" of your own. IYKWIM

4 day bender with rodeo people and aggie game watching mixed in, my iphone battery life is fading fast from Frager and Angry Birds play on the john.

Just had my 1st go round with Fragger. I must say that I enjoyed it.

For some reason I can't find Fragger in the Marketplace.

I've moved on from these kiddy games like Angry Birds, Fragger, and Gravity Guy to a real man's iphone game: Tiger Woods PGA Tour. Talk about a grogan time killer when you sit there and try and finish an 18. Hemorrhoids here I come.

While I still play Angry Birds and Fragger, I find they tend to keep me on the ****ter longer than I am actually ****ting. I ponied up $5 and purchased Call of Duty World at War ZOMBIES and find myself very entertained killing off Nazi Zombies while pinching off a loaf. Right now I'm usually killed by the masses once or twice before I finish my buisness, so unless I get better at the game, it's perfect for timing out my toilet visits.

I just got sprayed by the urinal in our office crapper...sucked having to stand there a while to make sure everything was dried out

i think the most important thing to take away from the last direction of this thread is that you should, under no circumstances, touch the cell phone of any other person on this thread.

+1

I am even starting to grimace every time I put mine up to my ear.

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I am even starting to grimace every time I put mine up to my ear.

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people still use their phones for talking!?

i barely do since AT&T drops most of mine.

that being said i just threw some Brothers Pizza down my gullet for lunch so we should have a good greeze session later!

Brother's is delicious. It also does get everything moving around all nicelike for afternoon and evening grog adventures.

my crap factory is already in full production producing some pressurized emissions. My lil' fan under my desk has been called to action.

Every time I eat Mexican food, the next day I have 2 or 3 "Whole Rollers".

After what seems like an innocent enough poop, I wipe. And wipe. And wipe some more. Before I know it, I've used a whole roll of toilet paper. By about the third or fourth wipe, I'm sitting there thinking, "how could there POSSIBLY be more sh*t down there?"

The key, I've found, is to flush every 3 or so wipes, as to not require plunging, pipe snaking, and or taking apart the toilet.

Cuz all you are doing is just smearing it around.

FTW!

that looks like a fairly aggressive stream

ya, reminds me of when my nephew was younger and had issues "cleaning" himself. So they would take to using the garden hose outside on the highest stream.

I think he got pretty good at hygiene after a few of those.

Sometimes you really need to get into the nooks and crannies.

Is there any way to get a bleach mixture into that bad boy? A friend wants to know.

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i think the most important thing to take away from the last direction of this thread is that you should, under no circumstances, touch the cell phone of any other person on this thread

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Certainly none of the boys' phones!

y'all are equally nasty creatures.