That lovely feeling when you're reaching under there and your knuckles scrape the toiletwater...or worse....
Lunch teeth brushers at work
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Last: 10 mo ago by Milwaukees Best Light
brown knuckle
It all really depends on the situation
There are standing wipers????
Standing wipers????????? No way anyone above the age of like 7 should stand to wipe themselves.
When your mother comes to visit do you stand up, bend over, spread eagle and yell for her to come wipe your heiny with baby wipes as well?
When your mother comes to visit do you stand up, bend over, spread eagle and yell for her to come wipe your heiny with baby wipes as well?
Do you also hike up a leg to get better access while standing?
I don't even know what to say on there.
I just learned a few months ago that people stood up to wipe. I caught a segment on Rod Ryan one morning. (I'm sure you are shocked to know he's a standing wiper)
And I hate airport (and the occasional casino) bathrooms with those automatic seat covers. I assume it's the same cover going around and round for eternity. I'll take my chances with the actual seat.
I just learned a few months ago that people stood up to wipe. I caught a segment on Rod Ryan one morning. (I'm sure you are shocked to know he's a standing wiper)
And I hate airport (and the occasional casino) bathrooms with those automatic seat covers. I assume it's the same cover going around and round for eternity. I'll take my chances with the actual seat.
quote:
Do you also hike up a leg to get better access while standing?
redassag12
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A+++++ thread.
Some good knowledge in here, I feel as if I should forward this to several people in the office I have had to work out of the last few months.
For one, they act as is if someone painted rabies onto the door handles, and will absolutely not touch them. So on their way out, they grab a paper towel, use it to grab hold of the handle, open the door, and simultaneously drop the towel on the floor and squeak through the door. If you aren't careful, you'll bust your ass when you step on the piles of paper tiles on the slick tile floor right at the door.
Also, not sure if its what they are eating, but it seems every other day I go in to build a log cabin, some poor guy had his ass literally explode on the toilet. The entire inside of the bowl is plastered with specks of ****. What that must sound like, I am thankful I havent heard yet.
On the brightside, someone took it upon themself to duct tape a make shift file folder to the stall wall. Every day, people take and leave technical articles in that little folder. Good for the longer sessions on the can.
[This message has been edited by youandwhosearmy (edited 12/17/2010 5:06p).]
Some good knowledge in here, I feel as if I should forward this to several people in the office I have had to work out of the last few months.
For one, they act as is if someone painted rabies onto the door handles, and will absolutely not touch them. So on their way out, they grab a paper towel, use it to grab hold of the handle, open the door, and simultaneously drop the towel on the floor and squeak through the door. If you aren't careful, you'll bust your ass when you step on the piles of paper tiles on the slick tile floor right at the door.
Also, not sure if its what they are eating, but it seems every other day I go in to build a log cabin, some poor guy had his ass literally explode on the toilet. The entire inside of the bowl is plastered with specks of ****. What that must sound like, I am thankful I havent heard yet.
On the brightside, someone took it upon themself to duct tape a make shift file folder to the stall wall. Every day, people take and leave technical articles in that little folder. Good for the longer sessions on the can.
[This message has been edited by youandwhosearmy (edited 12/17/2010 5:06p).]
quote:
For one, they act as is if someone painted rabies onto the door handles, and will absolutely not touch them. So on their way out, they grab a paper towel, use it to grab hold of the handle, open the door, and simultaneously drop the towel on the floor and squeak through the door.
I do that all the time, except we have a trashcan right near the door so I can hold the door open with my foot while tossing the paper towel away.
I refuse to touch bathroom door handles in public bathrooms. So much pewp on em it's not even funny.
I use my elbow...
brown knuckles?
So does that mean you reach between your legs (front-to-back) to clean your brown nast?
So does that mean you reach between your legs (front-to-back) to clean your brown nast?
brown knuckles sounds like the homosexual equivalent of a hetero brown noser.....
only women wipe from the front
Milwaukees Best Light
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AG
I had to release some sea coyotes from my buddies boat. It's a really shallow water boat and sits close to the water. After I hang my ass over the side and release the Moroccan navy, I procede to wipe. Everytime I reach back to wipe the boat rocks and the damn tp hits the water and gets soggy before I can wipe. This happens like 4 times before I realize that I can just stand up and then wipe. Needless to say, standing and wiping hadn't been in my arsenal before, but is now.
and wes dont knock the baby wipes, without those my monthly budget on tp would triple
I wasn't knocking the baby wipes. I've actually heard that baby wipes have revolutionized many grown gentlemen's toilet lives. I'm just mad at myself because I always forget to buy some when I'm at the store.
Make sure you buy the kind that are flushable.
quote:
painted rabies onto the door handles
screw the flushable wipes....huggies thick n clean is the only way to go
now that we have a tot, i find myself indulging and grabbing the wipe box from the nursery to satisfy a whole other level of cleanliness. Follow up with some gold bond blue and get ready to live!
Is the blue better than the green? That's foot powder right?
I love GB...like a thousand angels blowing chilled air on your nether regions...
I love GB...like a thousand angels blowing chilled air on your nether regions...
jetch will be unable to answer you until Monday.
sts7049
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I was in another office the other day and had to handle my business. The mercy flush did not provide mercy. The pipes had a crack in them, so as I flushed a nice spray of water soaked my ass, my shirt and half the toilet area.
lol ^ oh man that sucks.
It goes against protocol for a bathroom to not have any reading materials next to the crapper because you will then have to resort to reading the labels on the cleaning products to pass the time.
This was actually on my mind the last time I read this thread.
I sometimes bring the Chron into work with me and will occasionally carry the front page and sports page into the john with me. I always think it's a nice gesture since I'm using the throne that isn't on my floor to leave the paper nicely folded over the grunt rail.
I was just curious if anyone would read this if they found it there.
I sometimes bring the Chron into work with me and will occasionally carry the front page and sports page into the john with me. I always think it's a nice gesture since I'm using the throne that isn't on my floor to leave the paper nicely folded over the grunt rail.
I was just curious if anyone would read this if they found it there.
quote:
grunt rail
quote:
I was just curious if anyone would read this if they found it there.
One mans trash is another mans treasure. The only time I read a paper is if some porcelain angel like yourself leaves it for me.
Oh and the use of "grunt rail" is freaking awesome by the way.
I try and fold any reading material into a small enough size so I can pocket it for the walk to the can.
You don't want to be the jerkoff strolling through the office with a haldfolded newspaper tucked under his arm. People mock that guy behind his back. Don't be that guy.
You don't want to be the jerkoff strolling through the office with a haldfolded newspaper tucked under his arm. People mock that guy behind his back. Don't be that guy.
Loving this thread.
I have recently found myself on a jobsite stuck in a job trailer and my company is too cheap to hook up the bathrooms. Since I'm not about to spend 10-20 minutes letting loose in the porta pottys my mexicans have been destroying for the past couple months, I have to sneak across the parking lot into the community center next door. Ever since I've been doing this I swear on my life the cleaning lady is there, either getting ready to, finishing up, or actually in the middle of cleaning the mens room. So she knows when I come wandering in to the building exactly what I'm there to do. I didn't think this is out of the ordinary, and since she recognizes me as the construction man next door that poops in her bathroom I figured there would be some sort of cordial bond since we see each other every day. But no. Last time she saw me come in she gave me the 'ole stink eye and shook her head. So I no longer feel I'm welcome, but still intend to use the facilities. I just have to avoid the cleaning lady. Kinda a little cloak and dagger poopin action. Sadly, I can avoid her to get there, but there's no telling when she might just pop on in to clean while I'm mid-poo. Then it's the awkward after poop walk of shame.
I have recently found myself on a jobsite stuck in a job trailer and my company is too cheap to hook up the bathrooms. Since I'm not about to spend 10-20 minutes letting loose in the porta pottys my mexicans have been destroying for the past couple months, I have to sneak across the parking lot into the community center next door. Ever since I've been doing this I swear on my life the cleaning lady is there, either getting ready to, finishing up, or actually in the middle of cleaning the mens room. So she knows when I come wandering in to the building exactly what I'm there to do. I didn't think this is out of the ordinary, and since she recognizes me as the construction man next door that poops in her bathroom I figured there would be some sort of cordial bond since we see each other every day. But no. Last time she saw me come in she gave me the 'ole stink eye and shook her head. So I no longer feel I'm welcome, but still intend to use the facilities. I just have to avoid the cleaning lady. Kinda a little cloak and dagger poopin action. Sadly, I can avoid her to get there, but there's no telling when she might just pop on in to clean while I'm mid-poo. Then it's the awkward after poop walk of shame.
Don't be scared off by the stink eye. The crook eye or evil eye, however, should send you running.
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