If you've ever wondered how liquified butt mud sometimes gets splattered high around the inside of the bowl rim, I have just discovered the formula.

The ammunition is a frangible projectile formed by a dinner of stuffed bell peppers. It is primed by a breakfast of corn flakes, and the propellant is a Mcdonalds Mcflurry desert for lunch...

The first guy that came in after me did the quick "wash my hands to pretend I had a reason to be in here" move and got the hell out quick.

Super trifecta.

I cannot read this thread in class, or public. I burst every time.

I juiced fruits and vegetables last night. Got up in the middle of the night and purged a bit.

Picked up two Fuego breakfast tacos this morning and a Dr Pepper and within 30 minutes of eating that for breakfast I had destroyed the semi-private bathroom and felt like I had lost three pounds.

The cleaning lady was waiting on me to get out of there when I got done, so it is primed and ready for more action now.

I can usually accomplish that feat with a night of heavy beers followed by spicy breakfast tacos and coffee from Freddy's the next morning.

A guy named chilidogfood achieves some massive dumps?


Who knew?

This thread was linked by a (non Ag) on Facebook. Might just go viral now.

Always delivers

Went out drinking last night without eating dinner. Came home and cracked open a Hershey's Special Dark chocolate bar. Woke up to the absolute most literal case of the "Hershey Squirts" in history.

Why did I open this thread while eating breakfast. First thing I saw was Catch's post.....

Whats worse, I just finished my first cup of coffee this morning and can feel it bubbling up again.

I had chuy's and chipotle yesterday. Mine is more of a deep burn than a bubble

This thread is great and quite timely. Earlier I had to back out of the restroom because some guy failed to courtesy flush and stunk up the whole room. I made sure to spray the air freshener and retreat. That was an hour ago - hopefully that stench has dissipated. I just don't see why the courtesy flush is sometimes ignored.

i'll be damned if i'm gonna do squats in the middle of a **** to avoid poop spraying my ass so your sensitive nostrils aren't offended in a bathroom.

Now that Conoco Philips has moved into our building, there are now people who brush their teeth in our bathroom.

Somebody had the stuffed bell peppers in my building today. Mud everywhere.

Sorry

GD it, i began re-reading this thread from the beginning and am only 5 pages in laughing my dick off

i can't believe this thread is nearing 3 years old already.

I had forgotten about this thread but it is extremely relevant. We just moved into a new building so some of the groups were rearranged and I now have two different lunch teeth brushers to contend with.

In addition to trying to avoid their brushing habits, one seems to go into the bathroom to floss a few times a day.

Add to this the fact the new building has extremely sensitive auto flush toilets, so they often flush a few times while someone is in a stall.

Poop floss

After a solid couple of months at the new job, it seems even my impressive grogans are no match for the curry and thai varieties with the new folks. If it looks like it came out of a baby's diaper, smells like it came out of a baby's diaper, and looks/smells identical after "digestion", you ought not to be eating it.

So do y'all keep your mouth closed when you go to the bathroom? If not, guess what you're inhaling.

62 pages

This thread is the sh*t.

My friend's (edited to "XX") reply to Internet money scam/spammer Mr. David:

On Aug 12, 2013, at 4:14 AM, "Mr. David" <davkwok35@yahoo.com.hk> wrote:

Dear friend,

Thank you for the response and how are you today? The reason I contacted you, is about a business deal that involve the release of some funds worth $36.2 million, which is presently in the bank. Where i work as the managing director of the bank, in Hong Kong. I want this fund to be transfer with your assistance, so that it can be use for a very good investment that will be lucrative in your country.

I want you to know that it is going to be of great benefit for the both of us, though the funds at stake is quite huge hence, i will like to know if you can handle such investment considering the amount but can i trust you?

Please sorry for intruding into your privacy, I accept the fact that it is not the best method to have contacted you but seeing that there is no other means that could be faster than this, that is why i contacted through this medium.

If yes! And you are willing to follow up this business seriously before I can give you more details about this transaction, I shall be waiting for your response and assurance before we can proceed further. I want you to have a nice day.

Kind Regards,
Mr. David Kwok.

From: David <davidkkw22@btconnect.com>
Date: August 10, 2013, 2:32:24 AM CDT
On Sat, 10 Aug 2013 10:56:42 -0500
<XX wrote:
Really?
On Aug 10, 2013, at 2:34 AM, "David" <davidkkw22@btconnect.com> wrote:
I have a deal value $36.2M for you, reply if interested.
Mr. David

FOLLOW UP Reply:

Dearest Mr. David,

Please send an update about my $36.2M. I have already taken on numerous financial obligations based on receiving this money. Monday morning I will go in for a surgical procedure that I have needed all my life. Like a majority of Americans, I poop out of my ******* but I have always wanted to be able to poop out of the end of my finger for the purpose of personal sanitation and also pranks. What better way to poop inside of your neighbors microwave during a dinner party? My wife and I are very excited that I will finally get to realize my life long dream. I hope you understand the level of passion I have for this and will be depending on my new found wealth.

If you don't send me the $36.2M quickly I will have to sell my autographed poster of Ru Paul and that could likely send me into a downward spiral of depression and heavy drug use.


May the seed of your loin be fruitful in your woman,
Mr. XX



2nd Follow Up Reply:

Dearest friend and confidant,

It seems that you have not reviewed to numerous emails my family and I have sent to you. I have just awaken from the surgery I mentioned in a previous mail and things have not gone well. Their was limited success to put it mildly. Unfortunately the surgeon was unable to fully redirect my lower bowels through my arm and out of my finger. He had to stop them just at my wrist and now my arm is grossly deformed. Furthermore the team was unable to transfer the sphincter muscle so now I poop uncontrollably out of my wrist. It makes for quite a mess. And as if that is not bad enough, their is an infection forming inside my ******* where they have sewed it shut thinking that I would no longer need it.

So we are considering all options at this point but any option will cost a minimum of twice what the first surgery cost. So now I will owe the hospital at least $3M. They have said that they cannot move forward with the emergency corrective surgery until some funds have been secured.

So please take some of my $36.2M and travel to the United States (treat yourself to first class for your inconvenience) and deliver the money so that I can stop suffering.

May the God of dance smile upon your feet,
Mr.XX

[This message has been edited by Ray Guy (edited 8/12/2013 8:41p).]

Last night the wife was visiting her grandparents with the 3 kids and wasn't going to get home until 8 so I figured I would have a party by myself as it isn't often I have the house to myself.

On the way home from work I picked up some Brats, Sauerkraut, Asparagus, Garlic stuffed olives, and Elissa IPA got home and cooked up this fine food and watched an old Guns and Roses concert (MTV Ritz show) on my TV via youtube ( sorry if you youngsters can't appreciate GNFR).

Well about an hour later just as my belly was full with food and beer and rocking out this rumbling started and I proceeded to have explosive poo. After about and hour and 4 immodium pills I managed to tame the beast.

[This message has been edited by BCOBQ98 (edited 8/14/2013 9:41a).]

Just took a trip to Splashtown USA, was thinking of this thread. Wife's cooking gave me some runny cake batter.

JamesConeyGrogan is a solid sock.

RIP

Who's the dewsh that leaves butt dandruff and hairs on the seat when he's done? Cause I hate his @ss.

I'm right now this moment posting from the suboptimal middle stall because some foolio left flakes of butt dandruff on the handicrapper seat. And it ain't the first time. I WILL NOT simply wipe that shyte off the seat and sit down.

Think of this thread every time i visit the bathroom at work.