May be funniest thread I've ever seen.
Lunch teeth brushers at work
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2665 Replies |
Last: 9 mo ago by Milwaukees Best Light
quote:
After all these years, I still have yet to learn how someone can sh*t so hard, it blows sh*t all up the backside of the toilet and all the way up onto the bottom of the rim.. What are some of you guys eating?!
I'm more concerned when I clean up and find **** on the top of the toilet seat. If that somehow managed to find a way up through what little airspace is available while I'm sitting down, I'm scared to think what areas of my ass I didn't think to wipe....
Family Guy addressed this subject in tonight's episode. There's got to be a clip online somewhere.
Poop on top of the seat is accomplished by either spewing prematurely before you get fully seated as you are bending over, or from squatting and hovering.
Just saw this happen for he first time in a while at my office and couldn't help but laugh. I'm 100% positive that there were poop particles floating around in and around that guy's mouth too because I had just finished laying a grog down in the stall closest to the sink.
What an idiot...
What an idiot...
quote:
Poop on top of the seat is accomplished by either spewing prematurely before you get fully seated as you are bending over, or from squatting and hovering.
You can also have post episode drip when one stands to wipe.
quote:quote:
Poop on top of the seat is accomplished by either spewing prematurely before you get fully seated as you are bending over, or from squatting and hovering.
You can also have post episode drip when one stands to wipe.
Uh, what?
another standing wiper
Stand to wipe??
Dude, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then peel it apart. That is what your ass cheeks must look like pre-wipe.
Dude, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then peel it apart. That is what your ass cheeks must look like pre-wipe.
jetch17
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Jesus!
quote:
Just saw this happen for he first time in a while at my office and couldn't help but laugh. I'm 100% positive that there were poop particles floating around in and around that guy's mouth too because I had just finished laying a grog down in the stall closest to the sink.
What an idiot...
Guy in my office did it for the first time in a long time yesterday right before you posted this....
Probably a coincidence.
But if you work in a 7 story building with two buildings being built across the street, one of which is done and the other not so much....
I'm not a stand wiper!!! I merely presented it as another way to dirty the seat.
quote:mmmhmmm. And your username ends in "slime".
I'm not a stand wiper!!! I merely presented it as another way to dirty the seat.
Liar.
quote:mmmhmmm. And your username ends in "slime".
I'm not a stand wiper!!! I merely presented it as another way to dirty the seat.
Liar.
Hmmmm...your username ends in cheese so you probably skip wiping altogether.
You could eat off my ass. I wipe sitting down as God intended.
When you wipe standing up, do you at least hike a leg? What's your paper consumption like? Do you have to dewsh every so often to avoid that not so fresh feeling?
When you wipe standing up, do you at least hike a leg? What's your paper consumption like? Do you have to dewsh every so often to avoid that not so fresh feeling?
Even leaning over can allow the free cheek to close the distance betwixt cheeks and produce some sandwiching, even for the skinniest of people. The only true way to keep your hole at maximum cleaning capacity is to wipe through the legs but then you risk your knuckles grazing a butt nugget or two, or at the very least the water it's sitting in.
This is why you must stick to high perching toilets.
This is why you must stick to high perching toilets.
7nine
Jack Cheese
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quote:
Dude, make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then peel it apart. That is what your ass cheeks must look like pre-wipe
That's gold Jerry!
seriously..... when I see someone walking out of a stall and washing their hands next to a guy brushing their teeth..... it baffles me.
---
Class of '10 - A&M Undergrad & Master's Alum
Class of '10 - A&M Undergrad & Master's Alum
Seemed like an appropriate place to put this:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gselevator/workplace-bathroom-etiquette_b_5812646.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gselevator/workplace-bathroom-etiquette_b_5812646.html
this thread is still here???
This thread forever
I will be traveling all day tomorrow. I have the option to brush my teeth on an airplane bathroom, or an air port bathroom. Door to door will be about 24 hours.
Did you drop a grog on top of the burj?
This is an old video, but new to me. Apparently George Brett poops his pants twice a year, on average.
http://deadspin.com/5052185/george-brett-would-like-to-tell-you-about-that-time-he-pooped-his-pants
Couldn't think of a better place to put this, or a finer group of people to share this with.
http://deadspin.com/5052185/george-brett-would-like-to-tell-you-about-that-time-he-pooped-his-pants
Couldn't think of a better place to put this, or a finer group of people to share this with.
quote:
Did you drop a grog on top of the burj?
Dropping a deuce at Reliant right now. The moment was ruined when the dude occupying the stall next to me let off a series of machine gun farts that sounded like what I can only imagine a Jetch cable laying after a bender fueled by cheap whiskey, crappy beer and a late night Taco Cabana run.
quote:T&P for your deuce moment.
Dropping a deuce at Reliant right now. The moment was ruined when the dude occupying the stall next to me let off a series of machine gun farts that sounded like what I can only imagine a Jetch cable laying after a bender fueled by cheap whiskey, crappy beer and a late night Taco Cabana run.
Why were you at Reliant on a Sunday when the texans were out of town?
Apparently to paint the town brown!!
Or a gun show...
Or a gun show...
This thread is greatness. I haven't read it all, I'm trying to save some of it so I have something to read when I go into labor. I'm sure this thread has come full circle, so I apologize in advance but was going to share a story. I used to work in the hospital setting. I can definitely see how poop gets on the back rim of the toilet due to either obese, or very disabled people not sitting down in the right spot on the toilet. I have been in the bathroom when patients have been on the toilet, like if they are so disabled they might fall off of the toilet if you are not there. I have never had someone drop a terd not in the toilet, but another physical therapist said that she did. It was a pretty obese patient and she didn't get everything lined up well enough on the little beside commode thing and the terd came out the back and fell to the floor. 
Ok, so this right here sucks. I'm working in a satellite office this week. The toilet seats are large and contour further down under the ass cheeks region. That's no excuse for what I'm about to admit to, but it needs to be stated up front as a contributing factor.
I just had a soft blowout. Felt real nice to get that rumble out of my gut, but on the first wipe I discover to my horror that I had splurged the back of the toilet seat. The back of my hand and the cuff of my shirt showed the evidence.
Luckily the shirt tail appears to have been spared.
I commenced to wash my hands and shirt cuff furiously after finishing my business, but even with a tide pen I'm unable to fully remove all evidence... a very light spot remains to torment me the rest of the day.
I just had a soft blowout. Felt real nice to get that rumble out of my gut, but on the first wipe I discover to my horror that I had splurged the back of the toilet seat. The back of my hand and the cuff of my shirt showed the evidence.
Luckily the shirt tail appears to have been spared.
I commenced to wash my hands and shirt cuff furiously after finishing my business, but even with a tide pen I'm unable to fully remove all evidence... a very light spot remains to torment me the rest of the day.
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