Dude has brass for balls and rocks for brains...
Anxiously waiting on the Paul Harvey "and for the rest of the story."
Anxiously waiting on the Paul Harvey "and for the rest of the story."
Some guy plans to travel Africa in modded Jeep
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3120 Replies |
Last: 6 mo ago by HalifaxAg
quote:I don't think he is smart enough to know the balls he would need to try to circumnavigate Africa without a weapon, bodyguard or translator.
Dude has brass for balls and rocks for brains...
Is he dead yet?
ThunderCougarFalconBird
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AG
quote:He posted an updated blog post a couple days ago. It's linked a page or two back.
Is he dead yet?
Short story: according to his latest blog post, he is still in London getting photos of the Eiffel Tower, Pantheon, Meiji Shrine, Great Pyramid, and Mount Everest. He'll be dead soon enough.
Is he dead yet?
TexAgs death pool 2016?
quote:I'm in. I say we go only by location as border crossings can possibly add days without progress.
TexAgs death pool 2016?
Helluva telephoto lens. He should get quality photos of his impending murder.
Is he dead yet?
Is he dead yet?
Is he dead yet?
Ok, here is how I see it.
Day 1
Cross into Morocco, easy to Casablanca. Seems like the type of guy that would head straight there.
Day 2
400mi to Tantan, Morocco
Decent roads, not too rough a place
Day 3
400 mi to Dakhla, W Sahara
Again, decent roads, not a rough ride. Small town to pop the jeep-tent
Day 4
400 mi to Nouakchott, Mauritania
Same distances covered but the ride is getting rougher.
Day 5
300 mi to Dakar, Senegal
Not as much driving, back to more of a "city", Stops for the evening.
Day 6
300mi to Farafenni, The Gambia
Starting to look desolate but several small non-threatenting towns. Still able to stay near coastal roads and actual towns, somewhat decent roads. Jeep is riding hard but all ok, replenishing supplies albeit not quite champagne and caviar.
Day 7
250mi to Ziguinchor, Senegal
Nice river to camp by, roads tougher but quite scenic. Has plenty of time to think of new ways to get more with no work or responsibilities. Things are looking up!
Day 8
190mi to Quebo, Gineau-Bissau
A lot of inland roads then back to the coast, tougher to maneuver. Jeep taking a bit of a beating but all still ok. Stops early in order to camp at the Castanhez Nat'l Forest. Survives the forest (not like forest camping in the US).
Day 9
180mi to Conakry, Guinea
After the first week and a half, and the forest adventure, decides to hole up in a larger city and not head into Sierra Leon just yet, so stops early.
Day 10
220mi to Mobimbi, Sierra Leon
This makes a huge assumption that he is smart enough not to venture toward the coast to Freetown and stays more inland. Assuming he does this, he will live to see day 11.
Day 11
220mi to Monrovia, Liberia
And here it gets interesting. No more "clean" cities and towns, no more halfway decent roads. Ideally he should stay out of the city but for some reason, I don't think he does. But since strange things do happen sometimes, let's say he actually makes it out with his jeep (and no body parts have been eaten).
Day 12
350mi to Tabou, Cote d'Ivoire
Gets the hell out of dodge and gains a false sense of security in Tabou. Much cleaner and safer.
Day 13 - 15
350mi to Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire
Gets to the city and does not want to leave. Would call sister in London but does not have a quarter. Is seriously rethinking things after Liberia but decides to trek on...after some decent food and a little French wine.
Day 16
300mi to Accra, Ghana
Again, pleasantly surprised by the city and roads, thinking he is starting to enjoy the trip.
Day 17
200mi to Lagos, Nigeria
Parts stolen even as jeep is moving. Cant gain access behind the razor wire-protected hotels. Sleeps outside the town. High probability he doesn't make it. If he does, it will not be with the jeep or his virginity.
Day 18
200mi (in some 4th rate vehicle his "uncle" has procured for him for sexual favors) to Wari, Nigeria
No way in hell he makes it past Wari.
So, with that, I'll take Wari for $200, Alex.
Day 1
Cross into Morocco, easy to Casablanca. Seems like the type of guy that would head straight there.
Day 2
400mi to Tantan, Morocco
Decent roads, not too rough a place
Day 3
400 mi to Dakhla, W Sahara
Again, decent roads, not a rough ride. Small town to pop the jeep-tent
Day 4
400 mi to Nouakchott, Mauritania
Same distances covered but the ride is getting rougher.
Day 5
300 mi to Dakar, Senegal
Not as much driving, back to more of a "city", Stops for the evening.
Day 6
300mi to Farafenni, The Gambia
Starting to look desolate but several small non-threatenting towns. Still able to stay near coastal roads and actual towns, somewhat decent roads. Jeep is riding hard but all ok, replenishing supplies albeit not quite champagne and caviar.
Day 7
250mi to Ziguinchor, Senegal
Nice river to camp by, roads tougher but quite scenic. Has plenty of time to think of new ways to get more with no work or responsibilities. Things are looking up!
Day 8
190mi to Quebo, Gineau-Bissau
A lot of inland roads then back to the coast, tougher to maneuver. Jeep taking a bit of a beating but all still ok. Stops early in order to camp at the Castanhez Nat'l Forest. Survives the forest (not like forest camping in the US).
Day 9
180mi to Conakry, Guinea
After the first week and a half, and the forest adventure, decides to hole up in a larger city and not head into Sierra Leon just yet, so stops early.
Day 10
220mi to Mobimbi, Sierra Leon
This makes a huge assumption that he is smart enough not to venture toward the coast to Freetown and stays more inland. Assuming he does this, he will live to see day 11.
Day 11
220mi to Monrovia, Liberia
And here it gets interesting. No more "clean" cities and towns, no more halfway decent roads. Ideally he should stay out of the city but for some reason, I don't think he does. But since strange things do happen sometimes, let's say he actually makes it out with his jeep (and no body parts have been eaten).
Day 12
350mi to Tabou, Cote d'Ivoire
Gets the hell out of dodge and gains a false sense of security in Tabou. Much cleaner and safer.
Day 13 - 15
350mi to Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire
Gets to the city and does not want to leave. Would call sister in London but does not have a quarter. Is seriously rethinking things after Liberia but decides to trek on...after some decent food and a little French wine.
Day 16
300mi to Accra, Ghana
Again, pleasantly surprised by the city and roads, thinking he is starting to enjoy the trip.
Day 17
200mi to Lagos, Nigeria
Parts stolen even as jeep is moving. Cant gain access behind the razor wire-protected hotels. Sleeps outside the town. High probability he doesn't make it. If he does, it will not be with the jeep or his virginity.
Day 18
200mi (in some 4th rate vehicle his "uncle" has procured for him for sexual favors) to Wari, Nigeria
No way in hell he makes it past Wari.
So, with that, I'll take Wari for $200, Alex.
If you haven't yet, you all owe it yourselves to read the adventure story of a couple that spent time in the Congo doing a similar trip in a Landcruiser.
Warning: long
http://www.expeditionportal.com/forum/threads/50799-Democratic-Republic-of-Congo-Lubumbashi-to-Kinshasa
Warning: long
http://www.expeditionportal.com/forum/threads/50799-Democratic-Republic-of-Congo-Lubumbashi-to-Kinshasa
Read that a while back, great read.
quote:I've spent time in Congo, and this is one of my favorite stories. We have friends in Kananga and Kinshasa, and to drive there from were we are living in Eastern Zambia, we would have to take a similar route through Lubumbashi-no f-ing way.
If you haven't yet, you all owe it yourselves to read the adventure story of a couple that spent time in the Congo doing a similar trip in a Landcruiser.
Warning: long
http://www.expeditionportal.com/forum/threads/50799-Democratic-Republic-of-Congo-Lubumbashi-to-Kinshasa
quote:
Ok, here is how I see it.
Day 1
Cross into Morocco, easy to Casablanca. Seems like the type of guy that would head straight there.
.
.
.
Day 18
200mi (in some 4th rate vehicle his "uncle" has procured for him for sexual favors) to Wari, Nigeria
No way in hell he makes it past Wari.
So, with that, I'll take Wari for $200, Alex.
I imagine this is in jest but I think you're spot on. But extremely underestimating time for border crossings and travel times. I would multiply your days by around 3-4. And start factoring in starvation into the mix.
quote:You are right, border crossings and all are not factored in. Sort of a quick shot making a lot of assumptions. your duration (3-4x) is probably more likely). Starving very well may come into play but that would have made for a meh ending.quote:
Ok, here is how I see it.
Day 1
Cross into Morocco, easy to Casablanca. Seems like the type of guy that would head straight there.
.
.
.
Day 18
200mi (in some 4th rate vehicle his "uncle" has procured for him for sexual favors) to Wari, Nigeria
No way in hell he makes it past Wari.
So, with that, I'll take Wari for $200, Alex.
I imagine this is in jest but I think you're spot on. But extremely underestimating time for border crossings and travel times. I would multiply your days by around 3-4. And start factoring in starvation into the mix.
quote:
Throw in the potential of a couple diseases, he could literally crap himself out.
Yeah but that does carry the redeeming quality that it is more likely to ward off the rear ended assaults likely coming his way. Sometimes you gotta pick your poison.
I'd worry more about dehydration crossing the Sahara with only 7.9 scalding hot gallons of water before I worried about starvation.
ThunderCougarFalconBird
Joined:
Oct 10, 2006
Posts:
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AG
quote:Mark me down for the "under" on this one. My comments are bolded.
Ok, here is how I see it.
Day 1
Cross into Morocco, easy to Casablanca. Seems like the type of guy that would head straight there.
Day 2
400mi to Tantan, Morocco
Decent roads, not too rough a place
Day 3
400 mi to Dakhla, W Sahara
Again, decent roads, not a rough ride. Small town to pop the jeep-tent
Day 4
400 mi to Nouakchott, Mauritania
Same distances covered but the ride is getting rougher. Somewhere around the WS/Mauritania border, a pack of AQIM bandits spots a non-Muslim gringo in their territory with an expensive car. They hold him up on the road, shoot him, and take his stuff. The end.
quote:I think you may be significantly over-estimating his pace. Even without taking into account negotiating (bribing) border crossings, stops for fuel/meals/assault, mechanical failure, that's already 24hr drive straight through.
Day 4
400 mi to Nouakchott, Mauritania
What about Unicorns?
Those have to be somewhere Along his route
Those have to be somewhere Along his route
Is he dead yet?
He might survive this... I'm betting Something strange is gonna happen early on and he'll break down or run outta cash and have to return back home.... If he makes it more than 4 countries into his trip his chances for survival go way down... If he makes it through 13-14 countries he may well make it,,,
So border crossings in Africa aren't like crossing countries in Europe or even the Mexico u.s. border?
I'm a big bourdain fan and his show no reservations he goes to east and west Africa and it just seems like pure chaos. And he has plenty of local guides and security with him. And I assume bribe cash.
I'm a big bourdain fan and his show no reservations he goes to east and west Africa and it just seems like pure chaos. And he has plenty of local guides and security with him. And I assume bribe cash.
ThunderCougarFalconBird
Joined:
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AG
quote:Short answer: nope.
So border crossings in Africa aren't like crossing countries in Europe or even the Mexico u.s. border?
But the upside for this idiot is that he is (I think) Australian. Most countries are happy to receive a westerner from a rich country. The downside is the same: rich westerner has to pay a bigger "administrative fee" to get the right stamp on the right page of the right document, etc.
Does he have sense enough to drive through the approximately 500 fake checkpoints he is bound to encounter? He will likely be beaten and robbed at the first one he stops for. That's if he's lucky.
Everyone seems to be assuming he survives London.
Awesome read. Only made it thru a few pages so far, but WOW. Not sure I've got the patience to deal with all of those issues...cool adventure tho.
He better hope they accept venmo or have square readers.
quote:
He might survive this... I'm betting Something strange is gonna happen early on and he'll break down or run outta cash and have to return back home.... If he makes it more than 4 countries into his trip his chances for survival go way down... If he makes it through 13-14 countries he may well make it,,,
Yup. The mostly likely scenario is his jeep breaks down somewhere and that's that. He'll have to return home because he won't be able to fix it. Parts for Toyotas are hard enough to come by and that's all anyone drives there.
ThunderCougarFalconBird
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AG
quote:Good point. If he gets lost in east London wearing the wrong colors, he'll probably get his ass kicked by some drunk members of a football club's hooligan firm.
Everyone seems to be assuming he survives London.
My number one question now is since he is living on credit how is this going to work? In Africa you need cash, in some of the biggest cities the hotel/restaurant areas with tourists might take credit cards, but the rest you can only operate in cash.
We have some offices in West Africa and they have petty cash to pay for local items. They also usually keep an emergency safe for when SHTF and the expats need to get the hell out.
We have some offices in West Africa and they have petty cash to pay for local items. They also usually keep an emergency safe for when SHTF and the expats need to get the hell out.
quote:
If you haven't yet, you all owe it yourselves to read the adventure story of a couple that spent time in the Congo doing a similar trip in a Landcruiser.
Warning: long
http://www.expeditionportal.com/forum/threads/50799-Democratic-Republic-of-Congo-Lubumbashi-to-Kinshasa
Wow. That is an utterly fascinating account of their story. And that was just ONE country... Part of a larger trans-Africa/trans-Asia trip that last 2 years. Amazing.
A trip like that is crazy and amazing all at the same time.
And I'm not even more convinced the dude in the jeep has zero chance of success.
ThunderCougarFalconBird
Joined:
Oct 10, 2006
Posts:
49,081
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AG
quote:To be fair, the country they crossed was DR Congo. Before them, there are few known successful traverses of DR Congo in a car. At least none in the preceding 20 years.quote:
If you haven't yet, you all owe it yourselves to read the adventure story of a couple that spent time in the Congo doing a similar trip in a Landcruiser.
Warning: long
http://www.expeditionportal.com/forum/threads/50799-Democratic-Republic-of-Congo-Lubumbashi-to-Kinshasa
Wow. That is an utterly fascinating account of their story. And that was just ONE country... Part of a larger trans-Africa/trans-Asia trip that last 2 years. Amazing.
A trip like that is crazy and amazing all at the same time.
And I'm not even more convinced the dude in the jeep has zero chance of success.
But the people that made that trip are extremely experienced overland travelers. Just their discussion about when they did and didn't pay bribe money demonstrates the level of their experience.
Jeep guy won't get across the Spain-Morocco border a Ceuta.
quote:agreed. i don't think he ends up dead. i just think he'll wind up without a way to get across a border and deported. if he does get through, his Jeep will inevitably break down like all vehicles do in that environment and he'll be SOL and have to quit.quote:
If you haven't yet, you all owe it yourselves to read the adventure story of a couple that spent time in the Congo doing a similar trip in a Landcruiser.
Warning: long
http://www.expeditionportal.com/forum/threads/50799-Democratic-Republic-of-Congo-Lubumbashi-to-Kinshasa
Wow. That is an utterly fascinating account of their story. And that was just ONE country... Part of a larger trans-Africa/trans-Asia trip that last 2 years. Amazing.
A trip like that is crazy and amazing all at the same time.
And I'm not even more convinced the dude in the jeep has zero chance of success.
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