The latest news on my Mom isn't good. She's suffering from kidney failure. In the time I was gone she's deteriorated steadily and this past week her system just crashed. She's in the hospital now and we're sorting out next steps. Her time is short (one to two weeks at best) and it's painful to see. It's fortunate that I've been back and able to deal with this. I wrote the article below and put on LinkedIn back around Mother's Day after I had been trying to get her to go agree to move into assisted living. It was clear that after 92 years; she was unable to live on her own. That's right...at 92 she was still fixing three squares for herself and trying to take care of the home place. It took me two months for me and my brother to convince her. She wasn't able to get the medical help she needed in my old home town...and unfortunately when we got her to Nashville it was obvious that there were many issues looming. Fortunately, only the last month has been really difficult for her. I'd like you to see my Mom the way I see her.....

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-mom-set-standard-phil-bryant/?trackingId=An9qVFxpSFiflpC%2FvErk7Q%3D%3D

May 5, 2022
I spent time with Mom this week. Ninety-two years old and still going strong. In the list of major influences on my life, with Mom and Dad at the top, Mom was the one that "set the standard". When I would say this about Mom during my work career, most of the discussion always centered on her insistence on a standard of behavior and effort required in everything we did growing up. And that was certainly true; but it really didn't do her justice.

Mom was delivered by her father in the old family home on 3rd Street in Stevenson, Alabama. She was and remains a Daddies girl. When Dr. Prince died of a stroke when she was 7, the Depression was in full misery. Eight years later, after a long illness, her Mom (Edna Lovelady Prince) also passed. The Depression still on and the added misery of WWII at 15, she was alone. A good student, responsible, a cheerleader, she worked after schools in the local Pharmacy.

In her Sr. year in '46, she was introduced to my Dad on a blind date the week he returned to the States after the War. He was set to go into the State Trooper Academy and was going to be sequestered for 6 months. He asked Mom if she would wait on him. She said she would…and that was that (isn't real history always better than the movies). One year later they were married; the next 12 years were filled with having babies, law enforcement, another war, domestic and foreign military relocations and eventually settling back down in Stevenson into a new home when I was less than a year old.

My earliest memories are of her running the household. Dad worked long hours 6 days a week. Let's just say that under Mom's leadership, the trains ran on-time around the Bryant house. Every morning, breakfast was there and our lunch sacks were filled by the kitchen door. Supper was made after we got home from school or whatever practice (sport or theater) or game we had that prevented us being there at normal supper time. The only time those meals were not made was the one week she was in the hospital when she had surgery when I was in the 1st grade. I can remember how unsettled I was that week. I wasn't old enough to really understand the gravity of the potential scare. I just knew nothing was right. I even had to get my lunch in the cafeteria at school. When she got home, she gave me a very self-satisfied look when I told her the school lunches were awful and I couldn't wait to get back to her PB&Js. It was also true. You could taste the love in those brown paper lunch sacks. Her attention to feeding us was just an example of the millions of things she did for us; every day, without exception. Other than that surgery and week in the hospital, there were no "days off" for Mom. That's right, not a single day off, ever...the trains had to run.

Much like the Eye of Providence, there was no getting anything by Mom. Not that I ever tried mind you. However, if I were inclined to do something a respectable Southern boy shouldn't be inclined to do, she would know about it. If not from her own deductions, the local Kudzu Telegraph was infallible. Here are words I never heard: "wait until your father gets home". Punishment, if necessary, like in the hymn, was certain and swift.

There was a clear code of behavior and standard of achievement that we were all expected to live by or attain. She was determined we would go to college. Whether it be academic or extra-curricular, she expected the effort required to succeed. There were no exceptions. The work was to be put in prior to leisure time. Homework and assignments were overseen by her until it we had demonstrated it was no longer necessary. When work was below "the standard", "challenges" were issued and I'd like to say "and cheerfully accepted". I'd like to say it…but... She was a force of nature when convinced you were capable of the work. That was the only way I ever received an "A" in cursive penmanship . When I got that A (the only one Madge Caperton ever gave for penmanship, he said humbly), I rushed home from school and started yelling a block from the house waving my report card. Mom came outside to see what the noise was all about. I received another self-satisfied look that afternoon. That 3rd Grade, "coaching" experience might have had more to do with me not accepting that something couldn't be done in my work life than anything else in my lifetime; and I stack that up against my time in the Marines.

After I started to school, Mom became a substitute school teacher and was a Sunday school teacher. I enjoyed it when she would substitute in my class. Her Sunday school lesson plans were reinforced at home. My cousins lived next door to us and called her Aunt Carolyn; so many of the neighborhood and school kids followed suit. My Dad liked to tell the story that the doorbell rang one afternoon and he looked out to see one of our neighborhood kids; he was only five. Dad opened the door and asked him what he needed. He said, "can Aunt Carolyn come out and play?".

The last few years of Dad's life were pretty difficult. Mom had transitioned from devoted wife of over 50 years to full time care giver. For the last two years, she did everything for him; everything. She was all that was keeping him with us. We were set to come back to the States for Christmas in a couple weeks when the call came. I was in Australia on business; it was 3:00 am. I had to scramble to get a flight back to Tokyo to get the family and then go to Stevenson. When I was in the car heading to the airport I was talking to Mom. Dad just didn't wake up that morning. His lungs just finally played out. But Mom was sure "if only she had…" she could have defied the inevitable outcome. Fifty-seven years of marriage. She had done everything…she was beating herself up over something she had delayed but could never stop. It broke my heart.

Eleven years-ago Mom stayed with us for about a year while she was treated for cancer. In addition to the cancer, a broken hip and Chemo almost got her a couple of times. Thankfully she recovered. Every discussion on her recovery ended with her talking about when she would come back home. I never contradicted her, but aged 82, I certainly never considered that an option given her overall condition and health uncertainties. Recovery complete; she let me know it was time to go home. I didn't see it working out, but her independence was paramount; that was that. Ten years later she's still taking care of herself. The best part of this is I got to see that same self-satisfied smile come my way this past week when she reminded me of how wrong I was.

For 92 years, Mom has set "the standard". There is a standard of conduct and morality. There is a standard of effort. There is a standard of responsibility. There is a standard of perseverance. There is a standard of service. There is a standard of loyalty. There is a standard of love. One day, I hope to be able to live up to the standard. Happy Mother's Day Mom.

You are a good son and God bless your mother.

I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's health. As someone who has walked though this with a great many people, I know that it is never easy- especially when it is mom. I will be praying for her, you, and your whole family.

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful tribute to her. She is certainly an amazing woman, who has left a true legacy. You are proof of that. I'm sure she is extremely proud of and blessed by you. If only we were all so lucky to have such a mom.

japantiger, first of all, I Loved reading your account of all your hunts on this trip. It was nice to be able to live vicariously through you and your posts. Thank you for doing such an excellent job of telling the story of your epic African hunting adventure in words and in pictures

Secondly, and more importantly, I am saddened to hear your mother is in such dire condition.Based on the LinkedIn tribute post that you shared, your Mother sounds like she was a remarkable woman, Enjoy the remaining time you have with her as much as possible. I lost my mother in 2015 on the same day my wife lost her mother. I still miss her a lot and regret that I didn't see her for a couple of months before she passed away.

Prayers lifted in your name, the Bryant family's name, and your mother Carolyn's name.

Most merciful and loving GOD, please envelope your humble servant Carolyn in your loving arms and if healing isn't in your plans for her, please make her remaining days as peaceful and painfree, as possible. Give Phil and his family strength and comfort knowing that Carolyn lived a life well lived and will soon be with her beloved Husband of 57 years once again in God's kingdom.

Japantiger,
Thank you for the update on your Mother. She is a well-loved person with a rich life full of positivity and strength . It is obvious that those lessons taught many years ago were taken seriously. She has every right to one more "self-satisfied" smile.
May God ease her suffering for the remainder of her time with us on earth, and May you find comfort in knowing she will be in His presence when her time comes.

I'm sorry you're going through this. You're about 10 years ahead of me I'm afraid. My parents have been married 52 years now and my mom is doing everything for my dad right now, just as you said in your very well-written article. Hard to watch. I'm glad you've had such a long time with your mom and by your accounts it seems like she's lived an incredible life. Prayers to you and your family, and thanks for sharing.

Praying for your mom, her comfort, and for you whole family.

Praying for your mom and your family. What a great thing you wrote about her. It shows the wonderful influence she had in your life and is a beautiful part of the legacy she will leave when her time comes. I'm always inspired by people, like your mom, who more than just endure hardship, but also thrive while going thru it. Her story reminds me of my grandmother, who was my favorite person in the whole world. Man it's dusty up in here.

Prayers lifted.

JapanTiger - Prayers lifted up for your mother, yourself and your family. The Bible speaks of honoring your mother and father, and it is obvious you have done that. My parents were married for 57 years as well until my dad passed this Spring. It is amazing when you think about how a good mom can shape a man - his character, his morality, his strength and compassion. We certainly need more good moms in the world today. Again, prayers sent and I leave you with this verse: Proverbs 31:2829: "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.'"

What a beautiful tribute to your Mom. Dusty in here. May God's peace be with you and your family as she rejoins your Dad and her almighty Father.

Thanks for all the wishes... When my kids used to visit Momaw, after dinner, baths and family time; she would set them up in my old room in the twin beds me and my brothers slept in. She would turn cartoons on the TV (Animamiacs, Pinky and the Brian, SongeBob, Looney Toons, Finneas andnFurb, etc), and set them up with pillows behind their backs and bring all three a tray with their favorite late night snack...the unanimous choices were always Little Debbie nutty bars or Popcorn; and to drink milk or Sunny D or occasionally she would sneak a soft drink in. Of course this ritual treat had never been available to me and my brothers.

The family was pretty low last night when the weight of; and the inevitability; of the prognosis from all the Dr's became apparent. I got 3 photos last night; one from each of kids (adults now) with a different variation of the photo attached here from my youngest one....they knew just what Dad needed to see

Looks like your mom raised quite a son, who then went on to raise a great family

So much love, in all directions. You and your family are truly blessed with God's love.

Momma's been moved back "home" to Morning Pointe and is receiving hospice care. We had a good week last week and all the families got to come in and spend time with her. There was a lot of laughter; and of course tears. Was able to talk to her last on Monday.

She's been out for the last couple of days. It's just a matter of time now.

Prayers for you and your family!

Continued prayers for you and the family JT. So glad to hear it was a good week surrounded by family and loved ones. God Bless.

Losing your mom is a tough transition, no matter the circumstances. Praying for you and yours as you approach that time.

Sending prayers of peace as the time comes.

Praying for your mom and your family.

Prayers of peace for you all.

Showing this post to my wife. We are having our first in 2 months. Praying she can be half of what you described your mom to be. They don't make 'em like that anymore.

I would really like to thank you all for your wishes and prayers regarding Mom. I've read them several times over the last weeks. She passed peacefully tonight @ 8:40. Even at my age, you're just never quite prepared for when they take them away for the last time.

One of my kids summed it up: "I know if Heaven has been slacking off, they are about to get whooped back into shape".

So sorry for your loss. Peace be with you.

Sounds from you she lived a full life on her terms with dignity and purpose. At 68 I hope to do the same and have my son have the compassion you have for her. As long as you think and speak of her she will live forever through you and continue to inspire your life. Let the fond memories fill your heart until you reunite with her in heaven..
God bless her and her family.

Sorry for your loss. Seems like she had a great life and a great family. My deepest condolences to you all.

Here.

Sorry for your loss, brother. Losing Mom is never easy. IF sure abounds like she was an amazing woman, who raised and taught you well. You are faithfully carrying on her legacy, as are your kids. Praying for your family.

Our most sincere condolences are with you and your family at this time of loss. You know she is in God's arms now and any cares or pains are gone. You have great memories of a wonderful person that will come to you unbidden and make you smile. Continue to follow her teachings and you will honor her forever.

HERE

japantiger, Prayers lifted in you and your family's names. Condolences for your loss. It sounds like your Mother had a longe life well lived. Please know that she is reunited with her husband of 57 years and is no longer suffering from any pain or discomfort. She lives on in the hearts and memories of so many people. Glad you were able to spend some time with her after your trip before she passed.