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Vasectomy?

219,844 Views | 897 Replies | Last: 19 days ago by BartInLA
ursusguy
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AG
Alright, I might end up scaring the crap out of yall.

So in September of '23, I got vasectomy #1. Honestly the most no nothing procedure. Urologist and I sat there and talked about deer hunting and deer biology. I was easily back at work the next day....honestly, didn't slow me down much. I DID exceed my required number of pops. December rolls around, sperm analysis #1, 33k. Technically in the safe range, but let's wait two months (booooo) and try again. February rolls around, surprise 195k. Uhh this is going the wrong way.

The decision is made to do a second vasectomy in a surgical center under general anesthesia. Week out, surgical center calls and it will be about $2,000 not counting the anesthesiologist, but the Urologist was going to forgo his fee. How nice. Crap, I can't afford that. Urologist agrees to do #2 as another office visit. So another co-pay which ends up confusing the hell out of the insurance company.

Since #1 went so well, I decided against the Valium and my wife driving me home, and just went with nitrous for #2. Nut #1 went perfectly fine. Then things went south. Apparently the lidocaine was from a different batch. When he did the "Hey can you feel this" and started cutting, not only could I feel the cutting, the damn lidocaine was lighting me up. There was no stick, sting, burn, and then numb. It was stick, sting, burn, oh crap this is really burning and oh sh-- yes I can feel you cutting. At which point in time I nearly black out, I initially thought due to huffing like hell on the nitrous, but the Urologist said later "no that was from then pain". He went on to state that in 20 plus years, he had never seen that reaction to the lidocaine and had never had a patient fight through the pain I did. Oh yippy. He sent the nurse literally running to get a vial from a different batch. Got stuck again, and it worked like it was supposed to. He finished up the procedure. He showed me where he had taken nearly 4 times the length they normally remove from the vas and yes, he cuaterized the hell out of the ends.

So about a week later, I developed a sperm granuloma about the size and shape to have a third testicle. That was a lovely major to mild ache for about a month, then went away. So about 2 weeks ago (yes, exceeded my number again for spurts), hit my 3 months and time to test again. Surprise, "we detect sperm in your sample". 155k. Somehow my sperm level is 5 times higher 3 months post vasectomy #2 than 3 months post vasectomy #1.

This is literally a Harvard train Urologist and considered on of the best urological surgeons in DFW. I am literally waiting on a call back as he is conferring with colleagues as he has never seen this happen. Yeah, I'm not volunteering to try a third time. But suspect they will want to study the matter.
aggiepublius
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AG
I have no words. That just sucks.

I suspect however the doctor would now be afraid to go on a camping trip with you in bear country.
javajaws
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AG


Milwaukees Best Light
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AG
Sounds like you have a third nut hiding somewhere.
Rex Racer
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AG
ursusguy said:

Alright, I might end up scaring the crap out of yall.

So in September of '23, I got vasectomy #1. Honestly the most no nothing procedure. Urologist and I sat there and talked about deer hunting and deer biology. I was easily back at work the next day....honestly, didn't slow me down much. I DID exceed my required number of pops. December rolls around, sperm analysis #1, 33k. Technically in the safe range, but let's wait two months (booooo) and try again. February rolls around, surprise 195k. Uhh this is going the wrong way.

The decision is made to do a second vasectomy in a surgical center under general anesthesia. Week out, surgical center calls and it will be about $2,000 not counting the anesthesiologist, but the Urologist was going to forgo his fee. How nice. Crap, I can't afford that. Urologist agrees to do #2 as another office visit. So another co-pay which ends up confusing the hell out of the insurance company.

Since #1 went so well, I decided against the Valium and my wife driving me home, and just went with nitrous for #2. Nut #1 went perfectly fine. Then things went south. Apparently the lidocaine was from a different batch. When he did the "Hey can you feel this" and started cutting, not only could I feel the cutting, the damn lidocaine was lighting me up. There was no stick, sting, burn, and then numb. It was stick, sting, burn, oh crap this is really burning and oh sh-- yes I can feel you cutting. At which point in time I nearly black out, I initially thought due to huffing like hell on the nitrous, but the Urologist said later "no that was from then pain". He went on to state that in 20 plus years, he had never seen that reaction to the lidocaine and had never had a patient fight through the pain I did. Oh yippy. He sent the nurse literally running to get a vial from a different batch. Got stuck again, and it worked like it was supposed to. He finished up the procedure. He showed me where he had taken nearly 4 times the length they normally remove from the vas and yes, he cuaterized the hell out of the ends.

So about a week later, I developed a sperm granuloma about the size and shape to have a third testicle. That was a lovely major to mild ache for about a month, then went away. So about 2 weeks ago (yes, exceeded my number again for spurts), hit my 3 months and time to test again. Surprise, "we detect sperm in your sample". 155k. Somehow my sperm level is 5 times higher 3 months post vasectomy #2 than 3 months post vasectomy #1.

This is literally a Harvard train Urologist and considered on of the best urological surgeons in DFW. I am literally waiting on a call back as he is conferring with colleagues as he has never seen this happen. Yeah, I'm not volunteering to try a third time. But suspect they will want to study the matter.
Is your name Abraham?
ursusguy
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AG
Ohhh yippy. Wait another two months. Then going to a different lab for a comprehensive analysis and "see if that sheds light on anything"....will be 3 days short of a year since vasectomy #1
harge57
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AG
harge57 said:

Just scheduled mine for next Friday.


Follow up status on mine. I hate taking medicine so went in with the plan of no valuim and only tylenol/Ibuprofen for pain.

Procedure was way easier and less painful than I expected. No valuim taken, drove home. He told me the left one was done and I never felt it. The right one I had a lot more pinching and he seemed to spend a lot more time on that one.

The recovery was definitely worse than expected. Started off with just Tylenol, but couldn't sleep due to the pain so started the pain meds. Only took those as needed and the pain didn't really start until day 3. Was playing golf 8 days later and was mainly fine.

Frozen bags of peas really are the best.

The right one definitely had a lot more lingering pain over a couple weeks as I think he did more damage over there. I'm about 6 weeks out, and am completely back to 100% and will be doing the testing soon.
FolBack
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AG
Dr. Scott at S&W in CS got it right the first time. Recovery was slower than expected (~4 days before just walking around normally) and took about six weeks for the black-and-blue look to disappear. Procedure was no picnic but I pulled a perfect score and was much less painful than alternatives like living with teenagers.
Make sure to point out to your wife that you need to take advantage often to justify the cost - nothing like a little amortization talk to get her hot and bothered.
CactusThomas
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AG
Are you banging multiple women? Why don't you have your wife mutilate her genitalia for once?
Gilligan
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AG
Freedom! <insert Mel Gibson's blue painted war face>

Had a girl and a boy and we were done. I have two sons! Went and made sure there wasn't a 4th.

I highly, highly, highly recommend you schedule your procedure on any Friday the 13th you can find. I did this by accident and had as good of an experience as you can possibly have given the circumstances.

Dr Lipshultz in Houston has the "Margarita Special". For the small price of an extra copay you get to sleep thru the entire thing.

Good luck
Gilligan
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AG
Post surgery was during college football season.

Sat on the couch for two days with a bag of frozen peas on the nads. Don't remember taking any pain pills. But I typically don't.

Went to work Monday no problem.

Tuesday at work a little after lunch I felt a twinge. A little after that a pinch. Soon after that a cattle prod shock hit my nads.

I went home took some Tylenol and a Dos Equis or 4 and laid down.

Was fine the next day forward.

Don't recall bruising, swelling or discoloration.

The worst part for me was a bunch of women coming to our house the day after the surgery to see the new baby and being sequestered to the bedroom for that time.

Asked my wife WTH!
STL_aTm
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AG
Just got it done this past Friday. I've got zero pain on the left but my right is still pretty damn tender. I'd say it never gets above a 6/7 but pretty consistent at that number doing anything besides laying down.

Sure hope I see some improvement there before work tomorrow.
Rex Racer
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AG
Whatever you do, don't try wearing pants that are a bit snug. That was a mistake.
V8Aggie
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Whelp I shouldn't be reading this thread as I planned on getting it done this month.
DannyDuberstein
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AG
V8Aggie said:

Whelp I shouldn't be reading this thread as I planned on getting it done this month.


It will be fine. Just make sure you do what the doc says as far as resting, not lifting, etc, for however long he says, even if you feel 100% great. In spite of the occasional internet horror story, the only bad stories I've ever heard from guys I actually know are those that did too much too soon. So I made sure to take that advice and mine was totally fine.
V8Aggie
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AG
I have a 2.5 year old (30 something pounds).

Will I be able to put him in his car seat in my f150?
DannyDuberstein
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Would ask the doc, but one of my friends horror stories comes from the fact he went on a work trip to KC a couple days after, and specifically, putting his suitcase in the overhead bin triggered nutsack fire.
ursusguy
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AG
#2 vasectomy was on a Monday. Not my first choice, but first available or wait another 2 months. Even with the glorious screw up, I was back in the office the next day and conducting site visits. I didn't lose any work time to either one.
harge57
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V8Aggie said:

I have a 2.5 year old (30 something pounds).

Will I be able to put him in his car seat in my f150?


Dr. Will probably tell you 10 or 15 lbs limit but In my experience you will be just fine.

My AC capacitor decided to go out the day of my surgery so I ended up fixing that hours after my surgery. Plus picked up my 4 year old no problem.
AustinCountyAg
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DannyDuberstein said:

V8Aggie said:

Whelp I shouldn't be reading this thread as I planned on getting it done this month.


It will be fine. Just make sure you do what the doc says as far as resting, not lifting, etc, for however long he says, even if you feel 100% great. In spite of the occasional internet horror story, the only bad stories I've ever heard from guys I actually know are those that did too much too soon. So I made sure to take that advice and mine was totally fine.
FWIW after I had mine I iced, and took it easy for a few days and was fine after that.

HOWEVER, the most impressive thing I've witnessed was watching my neighbor get his done and then proceed to work all weekend in his backyard moving bull rocks, digging trenches, etc. by hand. with a shovel only. Dude has balls of steel I think. I was getting sick watching him.
OleRock02
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AG
Here's my contribution to this thread.

I had a right inguinal hernia for at least nine years that I put off getting repaired. I put it off because I'm a chicken, not a fan of surgeries (or our healthcare in general), and figured living with it was not a horrible option and probably the path of least resistance. That all worked well enough until my wife found out about it earlier this year. Somehow she went eight years without noticing that I appeared to have three nuts, but sitting on the couch together one evening she heard the 'squish-squish' of me pushing it back in and flipped out pretty good.

She hounded me about it pretty often. I had a yearly Dr's checkup in August and decided I would at least ask about getting the hernia repaired. Sitting on the table as he asked, 'anything else?', I could barely get the words out, but somehow I did and got a referral for a consultation with a surgeon.

While researching robotic laparoscopic inguinal hernia repair, I discovered a vasectomy could be done at the same time. The surgeon agreed it's simple and smart to knock them both out at the same time. They would cut the vas up near the bladder, all through the same incision, so need for another cut on the sack! The only downside is it's very difficult to reverse, should you ever decide to later.

So here I sit, four days post-op. The hernia repair was so much easier than I imagined. In around 8:00, home by noon, walked over a mile that evening, and went over to a neighbor's house that night to watch the high school football stream. Walked two miles the next day, and totally off all medication day three. Right now I feel like I can do whatever I want, minus the Dr's instructions of not lifting anything heavy for six weeks. TOTALLY worth it. I should have done this years ago.

So back to the vasectomy and relevance to this thread. Other than seeing it written on the paperwork, I cannot even tell I had it done.
Courtesy Flush
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AG
A vasectomy does not always prevent pregnancy, but it has been known to change the baby's completion.
BartInLA
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Avoid heavy deadlifts and squats for a week.
 
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