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TH36
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In reply to RickSawyer • 8:16a, 7/22/24
RickSawyer said:
TH36 said:
Found this thread the other day and it was really interesting reading what some of you are/have battled. I wanted to post then but felt odd doing so….but I kind of need to find a community for my current problem. There's meetings for it but I'm just not all in on feelings for it or the time. (Not saying that won't change)

It's not drugs or alcohol but another addiction. Anyone else in here struggling with more than just alcohol issues/addiction? I would rather PM or Email. I'm sure it's easy to put the pieces together on what I'm talking about. It's the largest drug to men that's not a drug.


Why do you think you're not keen to go to a meeting? If you were really sick I bet you'd go to a doctor or if you were really out of shape you'd go to a gym… its not a weakness to do those things, its just how we get healthy again!

With that said, I understand it can feel daunting but usually the monsters we create in the head are much scarier than the reality.


I came back here looking for this, this morning.. I appreciate those words.

I went to my first in person meeting last night.

I'm finally at the point Im ready to admit I'm an addict and really mean it when I say it out loud.
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RickSawyer
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In reply to TH36 • 6:21p, 7/23/24
AG
TH36 said:
RickSawyer said:
TH36 said:
Found this thread the other day and it was really interesting reading what some of you are/have battled. I wanted to post then but felt odd doing so….but I kind of need to find a community for my current problem. There's meetings for it but I'm just not all in on feelings for it or the time. (Not saying that won't change)

It's not drugs or alcohol but another addiction. Anyone else in here struggling with more than just alcohol issues/addiction? I would rather PM or Email. I'm sure it's easy to put the pieces together on what I'm talking about. It's the largest drug to men that's not a drug.


Why do you think you're not keen to go to a meeting? If you were really sick I bet you'd go to a doctor or if you were really out of shape you'd go to a gym… its not a weakness to do those things, its just how we get healthy again!

With that said, I understand it can feel daunting but usually the monsters we create in the head are much scarier than the reality.


I came back here looking for this, this morning.. I appreciate those words.

I went to my first in person meeting last night.

I'm finally at the point Im ready to admit I'm an addict and really mean it when I say it out loud.


That's wonderful to hear that you showed up. Welcome to the club - we're all just a big group of people trying to get healthy!
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P.U.T.U
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12:38p, 7/24/24
AG
So my wife and I have some friends and family members and almost all their issues come from lack of communication and alcohol. My wife and I told them after we got married that we will go sober with them for a few months.

Had a few more couples having issues and I am not sure they can ever go sober, deep down they are used to the drama in their life's and know nothing else.

Things are different than a few years ago too, I have seen a ton of places, including bars that have Heineken 0.0 (zero alcohol, no non-alcoholic which can have some alcohol). My wife also likes Surely which is a non alcoholic wine
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VP at Pierce and Pierce
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In reply to P.U.T.U • 4:47p, 7/24/24
P.U.T.U said:
So my wife and I have some friends and family members and almost all their issues come from lack of communication and alcohol. My wife and I told them after we got married that we will go sober with them for a few months.

Had a few more couples having issues and I am not sure they can ever go sober, deep down they are used to the drama in their life's and know nothing else.

Things are different than a few years ago too, I have seen a ton of places, including bars that have Heineken 0.0 (zero alcohol, no non-alcoholic which can have some alcohol). My wife also likes Surely which is a non alcoholic wine
These people are stuck in fight or flight and their physically used to being tense, anxious, and stressed. Booze or any substance is just a part of it. They need deep therapy focused on trauma.
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P.U.T.U
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In reply to VP at Pierce and Pierce • 7:42a, 7/25/24
AG
Agreed, plus two of them are in the medical field and have seen some things. We suggested therapy as well
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P.U.T.U
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6:46a, 8/29/24
AG
Everyone once in a while I drink too much and sometimes do stupid stuff, kind of tired of fighting the desire to only have a few so just calling it quits. Talked to my wife about it and we discussed how our relationship was best when we went sober for a bit. Dad and grandfather are alcoholics so I know the addiction is in my system.

Here is to sobriety, oddly I feel a relief of not having to worry about drinking any more.
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Hoosegow
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6:35a, 8/30/24
Cheers P.U.T.U.
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P.U.T.U
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In reply to Hoosegow • 6:30p, 8/30/24
AG
Hoosegow said:
Cheers P.U.T.U.


You still going strong?
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aggiejim70
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11:29p, 9/1/24
AG
Once again, this old Texas Aggie with 33 years in recovery reminds you there's no since drinking over A&M football. There's not enough booze in the whole world to solve that problem.
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.

James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
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P.U.T.U
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9:41a, 9/4/24
AG
Crazy that I have stopped drinking in the past to help friends and for whatever other reasons. When I did that I still felt like a drink every now and then, this time I have zero desires and I have been around people drinking several times.

Had someone suggest Healing of the Addicted Brain which lays out that current best medical practices to get sober. They said without modern medicine that only 20-30% of people will stay sober, with medicine (that doesn't allow your body to process alcohol in the typical way so you can't get drunk) that the combination of medicine and therapy there is a 90% chance of going sober. I know I wasn't as bad as a lot of people but I would hate having to count on medicine to stay sober, but I guess there are people like that out there.

My wife and I joined a new group at church to get to know more people and try to get more friends that their weekend plans don't always evolve around alcohol. We can be around it and not get drunk but they often go too far and they just get stupid so its not as fun to hang out. So we met the leader of our group who is now 6 months sober. Think God had a little bit to do with that timing.

AA works for a lot of people but I went to around 10 classes and it never stuck with me, tried a few different ones too. What works for me is a good church and meditation. One of the reasons I used to drink was to slow down my brain and both of these help me do that. Knowing that I am not alone in this and not holding the burden on my own takes a lot of the stress off. My wife doesn't have the same issues I have but said she is going sober as well. Told her she can drink if she wants but she said no. I don't deserve someone as good as her or the love of God yet they both will always be there for me. Makes this path a whole lot easier to wonder
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ptothemo
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In reply to P.U.T.U • 10:44a, 9/4/24
AG
Great post, thank you for sharing it this morning.

Reading your post, particularly in the latter half, reminds me of the quote "the opposite of addiction is connection". In my experience, the single throughline in any recovery story I have heard is the (re)introduction of meaningful human connection and community. That can be through church, AA, family, friends, or any number of groups, but the constant is connecting with other people and focusing on something greater than oneself.

The people in my life do not keep me sober, they are unable to do that and it would be unfair to expect that of them. Being in healthy community and serving with and for that community does keep me sober.
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Hoosegow
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In reply to P.U.T.U • 1:02p, 9/4/24
Yah. Still going strong. I've got several "party" weekends under my belt that I have stayed true to the course. Truthfully, I still miss it. I miss the way it makes me feel. The euphoria when that first drink hits. I wish I could have the revelation of "Wow! I feel so much better." Truthfully, I don't. I miss the old hoose but I also know that I can never allow myself to go back to that. We will see if that means true moderation or is alcohol just something I have to avoid.

Right now, and I'm sure this is a bad sign, I'm planning on trying to drink in February during Cowboy Mardi Gras in Bandera. It is always a big weekend for us. I figured I'd get a year under my belt and go through Dryuary again. At that time, why not wait until Mardi Gras. Then, hopefully I can moderate it. By moderate I mean only on special weekends, not every weekend or like I was, everyday.

I think my coping skils have improved. I have found contentment in doing little things around the house. I'm reading the Bible a lot more. I really want to be just a social drinker, but if I'm honest with myself, i don't think I am one. I'm 52 and have been drinking drinking since I was 12. I think it is just too much a part of me to allow it a foot in the door, but I'm going to give it a try.

FWIW, I haven't had a hangover in years. I think any ill effects I had were due more to withdrawel symptoms the last few years. I am dreading that first hangover. Frankly I'm scared to drink again. All reasons not to, but unfortunately I think this is something I have to figure out myself.

Bottom line, right now, life is more fun with alcohol, but unfortunately I think it has bettered me and the negative consequences outway the enjoyment. I guess we will see.

Hell, come February, I may not drink at all. We will see.
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P.U.T.U
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2:05p, 9/4/24
AG
I have considered having a drink at business dinners but for now I think I am going to go totally sober for a while. The issue never has been not picking up the first drink, I can stay away from that, it is when that first drink or two hits that you just want to keep on going. One of my vet friends that went sober said it is "chasing the dragon", you have fun and like the high you get so you keep doing it trying to catch that same feeling. Combine that with the lack of adrenaline activities I can do these days and its a big change.

I have always had a ton of energy and sitting still has always been an issue. Having a good woman to talk to helps and I found out meditation along as reading helps. Before that it would be a few drinks before I could have a calm mind. I still tinker in projects but trying to limit my funds and I am basically limited to doing projects with one arm.

After having kids I gave up a lot of my more dangerous and time consuming hobbies like mountain biking, triathlons, drag racing, and so forth. Now with my rotator cuff hanging by a string until I get surgery I am very limited on physical activities I can do which sucks since suffering has always been a release for me.

What helps is there are a ton of non and no alcohol beers and wines these days. Heineken 0.0 is my go to, low calorie and taste identical to a normal beer. I have tried a few of the liquor replacements and for the most part they all suck. Best part is I can get a normal nights sleep and now worry about being sluggish in the morning. I rarely got hangovers but could tell a difference in my energy.

Figured I could share part of my story, I have several friends that have drank well before they were 21 like me that after they found out that I stopped drinking they are thinking about it. So far they haven't but at least they have the thought in their head. I remember when I was hunting with my dad when I was 12 and he handed me a 6 pack of Budweiser and told me to go to town. It was different back then but still not so awesome parenting by my dad
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VP at Pierce and Pierce
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2:57p, 9/4/24
One is too many and a thousand is not enough.
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CC09LawAg
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In reply to Hoosegow • 2:14p, 9/6/24
FWIW, there have been plenty of times where I tell myself, "After I get to X milestone" that I'll try to drink again.

But every time it starts to get close, the temptation goes away because I just don't see the benefit of it outweighing all of the benefits I started to reap without it.

It's still a thought constantly on my mind, but anytime the "deadline" I gave myself comes up, I end up deciding it isn't worth it.
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P.U.T.U
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6:47a, 9/13/24
AG
Been to several get togethers with friends and business dinners, still haven't had any desires to drink. Meditation is helping more than I thought it would, got an MRI and after felt so relaxed. Forgot I knew how to meditate and got the Headspace app, can do that for a few minutes and brain is completely calm.
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GeorgiAg
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9:51a, 9/24/24
AG
Ugh. Ok, I just need to quit. Did 60 days off at the first of the year. Felt great, told myself I could just drink a few beers on the weekend. Of course, I've drifted back to old habits - hard liquor.

Been doing ok, but the juice is just not worth the squeeze. Too many mornings waking up with "that was too many" the night before. Not exercising as much due to hangovers/dehydration/poor sleep. Overweight and unhealthy. High blood pressure is out of whack. Also, another one of my friends just died in his 50s from a stroke. That's now three of my friends my age or younger who have died. Add in two more guys that I knew., my age or younger. All drank too much. I feel like the universe is giving me a message (X5). How many people around me (that drank as much as I do) need to die before I get the message?

GF needs to quit too. She is leaving an old half empty (gross) beer from Saturday night on her nightstand as a reminder. (lol, I told her I was going dump it out and rinse it - that's gross.)

Today is day 3.
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aggiejim70
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In reply to GeorgiAg • 3:27p, 9/24/24
AG
GeorgiAg said:
Ugh. Ok, I just need to quit. Did 60 days off at the first of the year. Felt great, told myself I could just drink a few beers on the weekend. Of course, I've drifted back to old habits - hard liquor.

Been doing ok, but the juice is just not worth the squeeze. Too many mornings waking up with "that was too many" the night before. Not exercising as much due to hangovers/dehydration/poor sleep. Overweight and unhealthy. High blood pressure is out of whack. Also, another one of my friends just died in his 50s from a stroke. That's now three of my friends my age or younger who have died. Add in two more guys that I knew., my age or younger. All drank too much. I feel like the universe is giving me a message (X5). How many people around me (that drank as much as I do) need to die before I get the message?

GF needs to quit too. She is leaving an old half empty (gross) beer from Saturday night on her nightstand as a reminder. (lol, I told her I was going dump it out and rinse it - that's gross.)

Today is day 3.
Today is day 12,283 for me. It does get better.
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.

James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
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P.U.T.U
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In reply to GeorgiAg • 5:05p, 9/24/24
AG
Go sober and if your wife is feeling she needs to as well go sober together. It is a lot easier having your significant other holding you accountable. My wife and I are together and it's made our relationship better. We have had several couples find out we are going sober together and have talked to us about issues they are going through, seems like a lot is due to alcohol in one way or the other.

You can PM if you want to talk or if y'all need accountability partners (or whatever).

Day 30 here for both of us, had lots of opportunities to drink but have had zero desire. Honestly watching people get drunk makes us not want to do it anymore. Then there is the next morning that makes you even more glad you didn't drink
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GeorgiAg
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11:03a, 9/25/24
AG
Thanks for the advice/support. Got up at 6 am sharp, clear head, felt great.

The thing that is crazy to me is that my Garmin watch "knows." It has a "morning report" feature when I wake up and it told me my "training readiness" was high (it never says that) and that I had a 80/100 sleep even though I had 6 3/4 hours of sleep. It usually rates my sleep about 50/100 (or worse) even if I get 8 hours or more.

Also got up early enough to catch the armadillo in the front yard digging holes. Bad for you Mr. Armadillo, Georgiag is sober now and not sleeping late. Just ran him off today, but there's a new sheriff in town.
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peso_pluma
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In reply to ptothemo • 10:18p, 9/30/24
AG
Thanks for sharing your story.
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aggiejim70
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9:42a, 10/22/24
AG
Went to the MSU game and Friday attended a meeting of the Starkville Group. Interesting as they gave me a
"Visitor coin". I've never seen this before; anyone know of any Texas groups that do this?
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.

James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
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P.U.T.U
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9:17a, 10/25/24
AG
Wife and I are 60 days in now, easy peasy. Done several work trips and coworkers like they have a DD with them. Lots of places now have non alcoholic beer which makes things easy

We have had 6 of our friends go sober now too, they have flirted with it in the past but couldn't stick with it. I know some people are against non-alcoholic wine or beer (not even getting into non alcoholic spirits, those things suck) but we love them. We like the taste of beer/wine and we don't have any desire to go back to alcoholic.

I always used alcohol to slow my brain, now that is done through prayer and meditation. Takes just a few minutes and no hangovers
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Tumble Weed
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In reply to Hoosegow • 10:55a, 10/30/24
Hoosegow said:
Yah. Still going strong. I've got several "party" weekends under my belt that I have stayed true to the course. Truthfully, I still miss it. I miss the way it makes me feel. The euphoria when that first drink hits. I wish I could have the revelation of "Wow! I feel so much better." Truthfully, I don't. I miss the old hoose but I also know that I can never allow myself to go back to that. We will see if that means true moderation or is alcohol just something I have to avoid.

Right now, and I'm sure this is a bad sign, I'm planning on trying to drink in February during Cowboy Mardi Gras in Bandera. It is always a big weekend for us. I figured I'd get a year under my belt and go through Dryuary again. At that time, why not wait until Mardi Gras. Then, hopefully I can moderate it. By moderate I mean only on special weekends, not every weekend or like I was, everyday.

I think my coping skils have improved. I have found contentment in doing little things around the house. I'm reading the Bible a lot more. I really want to be just a social drinker, but if I'm honest with myself, i don't think I am one. I'm 52 and have been drinking drinking since I was 12. I think it is just too much a part of me to allow it a foot in the door, but I'm going to give it a try.

FWIW, I haven't had a hangover in years. I think any ill effects I had were due more to withdrawel symptoms the last few years. I am dreading that first hangover. Frankly I'm scared to drink again. All reasons not to, but unfortunately I think this is something I have to figure out myself.

Bottom line, right now, life is more fun with alcohol, but unfortunately I think it has bettered me and the negative consequences outway the enjoyment. I guess we will see.

Hell, come February, I may not drink at all. We will see.
"I really want to be just a social drinker"

The goal of all alcoholics is just to be able to drink like a normal person. An alcoholic can't. Their drinking machinery is worn out.

"Then, hopefully I can moderate it. By moderate I mean only on special weekends, not every weekend or like I was, everyday."

I spent decades trying to do this. It doesn't work. Drink only on weekends. Drink only wine. The list goes on an on. At the end, the new rules, laid out by my wife and friends were "Don't drink alone". So I drank alone in secret.

My last drop was in 2021. Ethanol is a poison and I would just as soon french kiss a rattle snake as pick up another bottle.
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Trout
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10:58a, 11/25/24
Today is my day 1.
Never done this before but a bad weekend of blackout drunk. I have to make a major change.
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aggiejim70
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In reply to Trout • 9:14p, 11/26/24
AG
My day one was Tuesday February 26, 1991. You can do it, but you're probably going to need some help. All the best to you. By the way, my day one was after a weekend of blackout drinking, when I just wanted to hang out with the guys, have a couple of beers and watch a basketball game.
The person that is not willing to fight and die, if need be, for his country has no right to life.

James Earl Rudder '32
January 31, 1945
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