GeorgiAg said:
I've been to AA a few times in the past and it's not something that worked for me.
Did Dryuary last year for about 60 days. I told myself I had shown control and was good. Started out with beer, then fell back into the Vodka.
started this Dryuary last November or so and I'm at 75 days today. I know I can't go back.
One of my motivations is I've told myself I DONT have to go to AA as long as I don't drink. But my new rule is that if I start up again, I will have to go. It's a weird motivation, but it is working so far. I hated the AA meetings I've been to. I don't want to sit around and listen to people talk about how they F'ed up their life. Plus I'm not religious so that aspect of AA does not work for me.
Congratulations on your progress and willingness to want to get better. I have no need or desire to defend AA, as I believe it is A path to recovery and not THE path to recovery. I embrace that it's not for everyone and can be a lot to digest or commit too. The home group I walked into also made all the difference for me….in my first weeks/months AA was just the people in the room and their words and behavior meant everything to me. That perspective, of course, drastically changes with a little time and willingness.
I do want to comment on a couple things, in the event others are struggling and are hopeful that AA is an option for them.
* AA is "religious" -
I believe the complete opposite to be true. I think the most unique thing about AA is how it helps folks (like me), who have fought religion their whole lives, find a path to a simple understanding of and contact with something that is more spiritually relevant/powerful than they are. I believe most people find their way into AA as agnostics or atheists. I had no need for anything bigger than myself and refused to look for new ideas and ways of living. I could finally see where that got me. And, as most probably know, there is an entire chapter of the literature on this exact subject titled "We Agnostics". The people in AA didn't need or want anything from me. My sponsor asked me if "i was WILLING to believe that MAYBE JUST MAYBE there is something out there that is more spiritually bad ass then I was". Saying "yes" to that simple request wasn't easy but i found the willingness and that's all it took to start taking some small steps to changing my thinking and making my life easier.
* listen to people who talk about effing up their lives -
There is no question that this occurs and can be off putting. Does this dynamic not exist in any group environment with imperfect humans that aren't forced to follow any specific rules? However, that is not the pattern that the program teaches and what it believes helps get us sober. It advocates sharing one's "experience, strength and hope"……what we were like before, what we did and how our lives look now…the good and the bad. We ought to share on what the SOLUTION was for us. Most can't go a meeting without becoming agitated over the way somebody is sharing. But that's been part of the learning experience for me. The program helped me change my way of thinking around this….my sobriety is not dependent on what that person does or says…shockingly, they didn't come to the meeting for ME….I may only have 7 days sober but there is a chance that the individual sharing is suffering more than me, my presence alone may be helping them get sober and adjust their way of thinking and sharing.
Again, i do not know what is best for anybody as it relates to their sobriety. I'm not looking to debate or defend. Just some personal perspective one way that's worked for many. Appreciate this thread and all of you who are just trying to be better.
