A little over 1 year now. 391 days.

Going to a party tonight where most of the attendees know me as a heavy drinker. Another event on Saturday with a different group. Many were my heavy drinking buddies, a couple were my day drinking buddies. Covid gave me an excuse because so many events were canceled.

Outside of my family and close friends no one knows that I am sober now. No coworkers , etc.

When did y'all start sharing that part of your life with others?

I still carry a great deal of shame.

Tumble Weed said:

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A little over 1 year now. 391 days.

Going to a party tonight where most of the attendees know me as a heavy drinker. Another event on Saturday with a different group. Many were my heavy drinking buddies, a couple were my day drinking buddies. Covid gave me an excuse because so many events were canceled.

Outside of my family and close friends no one knows that I am sober now. No coworkers , etc.

When did y'all start sharing that part of your life with others?

I still carry a great deal of shame.

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I'm of the opinion it's none of their concern. If they ask, tell then you're driving or have something to do after. Have something that looks like a drink in your hand.

And congrats!

Most people when they first sober up have feeling of shame, remorse and guilt, because they're ashamed, remorseful and guilty. I know that was me. I don't worry about explaining to anyone why I don't drink any more than I explain why I don't eat Snickers and Paydays. I have the peanut allergy. I'll be damned if I'm gonna walk around all night with a Butterfinger in my hand just so nobody will think I can't eat peanuts.

As far as addressing the various issues of shame, remorse and guilt, that's what the steps are for, especially 4,5,8 and 9. I've been through them a number of times on a number of issues, but one really sticks out. I crossed the line into alcoholism the summer between my sophomore and junior year at A&M. Therefore, my BQ buddies and their women, got to see my illustrious 25-year drinking career. I mention the women because there 6 or 8 of us that have celebrated golden anniversaries. I flash my hiney a number of times during school and after graduation.

I did a ninth step with the group at a reunion a few years back and I can't begin to tell you how different things are today. It works, it really does.

I'm now at 8 1/2 months without a single drop....even turned down a rum ball a month or so ago.

I have also not had any non-alcoholic drinks during this time period but that might change next week when I am on a cruise. We have an extended family going and one member is 15 years of age. So I might enjoy a virgin strawberry drink.

Over these last 8 months I quickly grew to simply not feeling a desire to drink. Of course, my situation might be different that others given that only one night of drinking could literally end my life.

Made it through the events this weekend. One was a bourbon heavy event with the Kentucky derby.

I thought about the snickers bar reference several times. Nobody really cares what I do. People are generally concerned with themselves and don't pay attention to anyone else.

Tumble Weed said:

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Made it through the events this weekend. One was a bourbon heavy event with the Kentucky derby.

I thought about the snickers bar reference several times. Nobody really cares what I do. People are generally concerned with themselves and don't pay attention to anyone else.

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Someday, I'll be so spiritual that I won't even think thoughts like this. I'm not there yet. Watching the pre-race festivities, I was thinking, is there such a a thing as a virgin mint-julip, and if so, does it have a particular name.

aggiejim70 said:

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Tumble Weed said:

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Made it through the events this weekend. One was a bourbon heavy event with the Kentucky derby.

I thought about the snickers bar reference several times. Nobody really cares what I do. People are generally concerned with themselves and don't pay attention to anyone else.

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Someday, I'll be so spiritual that I won't even think thoughts like this. I'm not there yet. Watching the pre-race festivities, I was thinking, is there such a a thing as a virgin mint-julip, and if so, does it have a particular name.

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My virgin mint julep was a water. I forgot my tonic.

Don't care, I had the winning horse. Charity event, but I wished that I had real money on rich strike!

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4553654/

Came across an interesting article that touches on stages of recovery and also stages of relapse.

I only have time to read this at a quick 75% level this morning, but a lot of what I read hits really close to home in my experience. I'll read it more in depth later this evening. This is really good stuff, thank you for sharing.

And let's talk about it tomorrow evening if you are interested :-)

That is a good article, and I would say it it is not only relapse oriented but it does cover the actual process of getting sober and tools for living.

Also, you would hear everything contained in that article if you went to 90 AA meetings in 90 days to start your sobriety, except it would be in simpler, non-clinical terms. There is nothing in there I haven't heard in the rooms.

pinkdog said:

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https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4553654/

Came across an interesting article that touches on stages of recovery and also stages of relapse.

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Excellent article. Learned a few things about how common it is to end relationships and change jobs.

The HALT piece is important.

HALT hungry, angry, lonely, and tired

For me, I have to be careful when I am experiencing trauma and I am severely depressed.

I continue to battle insomnia even after a year sober. Fact is that I always had severe insomnia and depression, and just used ethanol to sleep.

Ethanol masked other issues that I had, and the issues remain even though I am sober. Glad to be defogged so that I can tackle it head on.

Enjoyed the read, very little to take issue with as I have no personal experience with addiction. I do take issue with the author referring to AA as "self-help" program. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Clubs is absolutely right. As I travel the road of happy destiny, someday maybe I'll be at a point where I work the program 100 percent from the positive. If I keep on doing what it asks, good things will come to me. Not there yet.

Still working it from the negative on occasion. If I don't do what it asked asks, I'll pay the consequences. Firsthand example. Earlier this week I chaired a meeting of my home group, and we had a newcomer. As I handed him the silver medallion, I could see myself on the morning of 2/26/91. I was reminded I'm one drink away from being right back there. Negative incentive I know, but I'm still using it. Maybe someday, we'll see.

Tumble Weed said:

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Ethanol masked other issues that I had, and the issues remain even though I am sober. Glad to be defogged so that I can tackle it head on.

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Quote:

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Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. THIS WAS STEP FOUR....

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AA Big Book, Page 63-64

Tumbleweed's last sentence reminded me of that quote in the book. "Our liquor was but a symptom."

As far as HALT goes, that was one of my first acronyms I held on to. There are so many.

Just in time for National Mint Julep Day. (May 30)

https://saltandbaker.com/virgin-mint-julep/

Did somebody hit 6 months up in here?

pinkdog said:

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Did somebody hit 6 months up in here?

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Howdy!

Your cake is on the Food&Spirits board.

rather be fishing said:

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I intended to check in on here last month, but life has been busy. Hit 2 years on 4/19.

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Congratulations!

Mine is 4.19.21. I remember that it is the day before 4.20.

Went to an AA meeting today called the high nooners at the brazos club. I think that a lunchtime group may fit my schedule right now. Great group of people.

Decided to check in here today since I've been away from TA for a bit. I'm on day 254 and going strong. Happy to chat with anyone interested in quitting. I'm very glad I did. It's a better life without alcohol involved.

Throwing this out there. I think I have 286 days now. I know some of you others have mentioned anxiety and insomnia as an ongoing thing. I know that I need to cut out all caffeine and nicotine for the issues I've had but up til now I tend to think "well I gave up alcohol, so I'll damn well have this". Any thoughts? I can't seem to quit for good.

So my experience is LOTS of smokers in AA. And it seems to be the mentality you mentioned.

Between caffeine and smoking, address smoking first. It's the absolutely most detrimental choice one can make for their health, aside from hard drugs I suppose.

If I had a good, easy method on how to do it, I wouldn't be working here! But friends have had success switching to the gum, then weaning themselves off the gum.

DON'T START VAPING! that **** is 10X harder to quit than cigarettes.

As someone that has quit smoking and quit drinking, quitting smoking is harder.

So, stoppoing drinking wasn't that hard.

And yeah, go ahead and call me a dry drunk.

pinkdog said:

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Throwing this out there. I think I have 286 days now. I know some of you others have mentioned anxiety and insomnia as an ongoing thing. I know that I need to cut out all caffeine and nicotine for the issues I've had but up til now I tend to think "well I gave up alcohol, so I'll damn well have this". Any thoughts? I can't seem to quit for good.

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I decided to embrace my insomnia. I was using alcohol to cover it up, and now that I am not drinking myself into oblivion every night I can't go to sleep on some nights. My mind races in loops.

I get up and read until I fall asleep.

My wife made me start taking magnesium pills, and that helps. I won't take any sleeping pills.

As far as cigarettes, easy does it. We don't have to conquer life all at once.

I have quit both, and cigarettes never gave me DTs. I would propose to quit later as sobriety is my priority.

Tumble Wood,

Hope I can provide some perspective.

I have been a very, very high level iced tea drinker for probably 25 years. I tend to have 10 glasses a day.

Beginning Spring 2020 I started to drink more than I should and kept it going until August 2021 at which time I have completely and totally abstained in any way, shape and form from adult beverages.

I do have medical conditions which cause me sleepless nights. However, my PCP told me a year ago that alcohol will make a person tired but then revs up your mind to the point in which it will be detrimental to your sleep.

I am now trying to end intake of tea around 7pm to reduce impact of caffeine.

My mantra when I went cold turkey after 20+ years on dipping Copenhagen was "I don't need this crutch. I'm a bigger man than that".

&ct=g

Interesting that you mention that. Copenhagen was my brand of choice before I switched to lozenges. I've never smoked. That would be disgusting. Not a word, aggiejim

We'll be here Sunday, please join us.

I've heard more than one person post on here that part of their drinking days included drinking to relieve anxiety. I would be one of those. The article I posted last talks about self care and coping mechanisms. If anyone wants to share things that you do to help relieve anxiety, I'm all ears. Some of my go-to's are:
Cake decorating (something to focus on)
Reading
Moving (even if it's just for household chores)
Using a meditation app (calm your body sort of thing)
Calling a friend
Humorlook at something funny/stupid on the internet

I have found that I like to fix stuff.

Work on my truck, boat, woodworking, gardening, etc.

My mind gets to completely focus on the task at hand. I feel better when a task is completed. Small tasks that make me feel better when I get a check mark.

I have also started to go to the gun range. It is an expensive habit with the cost of ammo.

I have always had ocd so it is usually something detail oriented.