Beckett12 said:

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OK. I will play.

This probably needs a different section because it is a real issue.

I cannot stand reading aggiejim(or whoever he is called) about his AA experience.

For me, AA is a bad deal. I do not like cults, which is AA.

I also understand people need help. I am one. But to pronounce AA as being the grace of life is complete BS.

I know I will get Jim and others to reject. But I will say one thing, announcing that you have an issue to the public/family is the most important thing in life. I pray to my lord every day, but I stand by my feelings AA is a cult.

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What a loser

I am back. Messed up again surprise surprise. Have an appointment with my shrink today so that's good timing. Thinking about asking for one of the monthly shot options to just bite the bullet.

HouAg,

Hang in there.

With regards to the shot, I will be honest in that I haven't seen it work for that well. I guess it can't hurt if you want to try it.

Giving up alcohol is more about a permanent, internal change of heart and mind to want something different for yourself. That shot is just a temporary, external stimulus meant to deter you from action by consequences. Brutal honesty here - this shot is no different than when you previously mentioned the change in your blood pressure and how not drinking for 11 days removed the need for your blood pressure medication. You are apparently still willing to drink despite it causing high blood pressure because you can justify it by knowing you can use medicine on the back end to control it and enable your drinking. Believe me, I could rationalize any consequence as well when I was drinking. If I couldn't rationalize it, I just ignored it like it wasn't happening.

Good luck today! Listen to your shrink and tell the complete truth.

Thank you 14Clubs. Have you not seen much like j with either the Naltrexone shot and the Anti Abuse one?
I have some underlying issues stemming from my son that I can't seem to get over. He was a perfect little boy until about 3 and now at 7 has special needs, is non verbal and very cognitively impaired. He has a rare non life threatening disease. I am always honest with my shrink. Will see how it goes. Thanks

I have no idea which shot. I suppose they all make you sick in some form or fashion if you drink. If you feel that is an adequate deterrent, I am certainly not going to try to talk you out of it.

I think the underlying question is if you get it, can you make a change during that month that can lead to not needing the shot? I don't think it is meant to be a long term solution, getting a shot every month. What are you going to do? It doesn't sound like your circumstances with your wife and child (and probably other things?) are going to change. That kind of leaves it up to you. The shot isn't going to change you.

A friend of mine always says if you have 50 problems, and one of them is alcoholism, you can't even begin to work on the other 49 until you get that one out of the way. I found his advice to be spot on in my situation and others I have worked with as well. YMMV.

I agree it's not a long term solution. I am just open to taking anything to help me get through the first 2 weeks or so. Getting that positive momentum and stringing together multiple sober days is what has become more difficult. Long term I am not sure what the solution is other then taking it one sober day at time. My life isn't going to have any dramatic changes to it to make it any easier.

HouAg05,

I know you "don't want to put yourself out there in public". No on really WANTS to go to AA. Right now it is easier than ever to go to really anonymously to an AA meeting with thousands of Zoom meetings. Most I know don't require you to show your screen and you can type anything you want in the name field. You can pick a meeting in another state or even country. Just put "Jack - Just Listening" or whatever in the field and no one will see you or know who you are and you won't get called on. Spend an hour a day on this for a the first couple of weeks. If you were drinking, you would spend more than an hour doing that.

I will share a couple of quick stories. I had been in the program a couple of years when my next door neighbor walked in to the meeting I regularly attend. You can imagine that was interesting. It was odd for about two seconds, then the moment passed. It really isn't a big deal, because everyone else is there, too. A couple of years ago, I was leading a discussion group at a conference in another state, and I hear someone calling my name. I am kind of looking around not recognizing anybody, then I see who it is. It was my first grade "girlfriend", the first girl I kissed on the playground. They say we are attracted to our kind. I guess I somehow knew even way back then, before I had ever even tasted alcohol.

These are just a few thoughts. The journey isn't easy but it's worth it.

Haha good stories. I actually attended one on ZM yesterday and will today as well. You are right they are very easy and less intimidating then one out in public with a ton of people. Thanks for all of the advice. I ran 3.5 miles yesterday and felt great to sweat everything out. I actually feel a little liberated once I make the decision just not to drink and not o give myself any wiggle room. I like to workout so also gives me more incentive for summer pool time haha.

I know several guys who go pop out 3 miles every time they feel like a drink. Some work their way up to marathons!

Nice! I don't think my knees could take too many miles at a time. Seems to be a theme connecting those two for a lot of people.

HouAg05 said:

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Nice! I don't think my knees could take too many miles at a time. Seems to be a theme connecting those two for a lot of people.

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Running has never been for me; I've never enjoyed it and your knees and mine are probably on the same level. I've picked up rowing and getting on an elliptical as a substitute. Good workout with little stress on the joints.

I'm not permanently sober, but I've gone dry occasionally for health reasons. Considered putting it down for good several times. Regardless, when I feel like I need a break having a healthy outlet certainly helps. Keeps you busy for as long as you need. Hang in there brother.

As a coping mechanism, I think many people who tend to be compulsive take their unhealthy compulsiveness and redirect it to something healthier. Really not a bad strategy.

Curious about my situation. Any thoughts are appreciated.

I have drank essentially every day for the last 15 years. Normally a couple of gin and tonics when I get home/cook dinner and then at least one and sometimes 3 Yeti tumblers full of ice, topped with bourbon each night before bed (probably 4 shots each). I typically would go through at least 2 handles/week of some combination. I really can't remember a day when I didn't drink. On long car trips I have felt myself "needing" a drink and shaking before we arrived at the destination. I was sick in January and one night only had one drink and had a horrible night of sweating, chills, etc. I assumed it was withdrawals. I have read all of the articles about withdrawals, long nights, shakes, sweats, hallucinations, etc. I was legitimately scared of the thought of quitting.

Fast forward to last week. I had a bad stomach bug and something inside of me told me to quit drinking. I didn't have a drink Monday and have not had a drink all week. No withdrawals, no urges, no cravings, nothing.

How did I avoid withdrawals considering how much I have been drinking for so long?

Now I can't imagine the thought of drinking again. Am I out of the woods as far as an "addiction" is concerned? Any thoughts are much appreciated.

Army, I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but unfortunately, I have no knowledge on addictions. I haven't had a drink in over 30 years, and have never experienced any on of the sweats, hallucinations etc. you described. That last drunk only only gave be a terrible hangover, shame and guilt and the motivation never to do it again.

12 shots of bourbon in an evening over any length of time, probably qualifies has heavy drinking. If you think you have medical problems as a result of your drinking, those need to be addressed by a doctor.

So much for the wind up, here comes the pitch. If you do indeed stay off the sauce for good and all, great, congratulations. What I'd be curious to know is what happens if and when you decide you can handle a drink or two now and then and decide to do so. All the best to you.

Marauder,

By asking are you out of the woods as far as "addiction", I think you are meaning from withdrawal symptoms or medical dangers. I am not a doctor, but I think if it has been 8-9 days, then mostly yes. I have read the most dangerous time is within 5 days or so. That is what I have read, but I will reiterate I am not a doctor.

As far as having withdrawals vs not, I have had experiences with both. Over the years, I tried to stop drinking several times. I usually had the common withdrawal symptoms - shakes, sweating, not sleeping, etc. However a couple of times I didn't. I specifically remember one time after a particularly bad run, I just quit, and had no withdrawals whatsoever. I am not sure if there is a rhyme or reason for the withdrawals. I would just take the gift of no withdrawals from last week and be happy.

The real question is - what now? If by free of addiction, you meant never wanting, craving or even thinking about drinking again, probably not. It sounds like drinking was a pretty big part of your life, and now you probably need to find something to fill in that time and occupation.

I will say people usually don't pick a day to get sober, it just kind of happens when they reach a point where they have had enough. I am in groups where people announce their sobriety dates, and it is usually just a regular day and rarely planned in advance. I got sober January 24, 2013. It was just a Thursday. I had not planned it, but that was when I had had enough.

Coach......Good to hear you're alive and well. Please join us this afternoon. Note we moved the meeting to 7pm

Logistical note for this weekend is that we will not be meeting tomorrow evening (5/30) and will pick back up Thursday evening from there.

Overall note that we are continuing to meet regularly Thursday and Sunday evenings at 7:00pm. Zoom information is reposted below if anyone needs it. We welcome anyone who would like to join us.

The link to the Zoom meeting is: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/4922070133?pwd=QmRNQmI2NndFc0h4TmJaZXF3d3lqQT09

The passcode for the Zoom meeting, if needed, is: f 2 T S V k (remove all the spaces that I am putting in intentionally)

Bumping this up with a reminder that we are continuing to meet regularly on Thursday and Sunday evenings at 7:00pm. Any and all are welcome if you would like to join us.

Specific to this upcoming Sunday, we will not be meeting due to it being the 4th of July. So, regular occurrence tomorrow evening and then picking back up next Thursday.

If you think that you can handle alcohol, there is only one way to find out: Take a drink! There is only one way to never know: Don't take a drink. It's that simple! As for me: No! No amount of money would entice me to take one drink. Not $1 million...not $2 million...end of conversation!

Just wanted to remind everyone we're still meeting at 7pm Sundays and Thursdays. Kind of a hybrid between a formal AA meeting and an Aggie bull session. Old timer or new to recovery, we invite you to join us. Scroll back a few posts for the link.

bump

Most people don't make that decision coming off a winning streak. All the best to you. Please join us tomorrow.

I feel the same, but I also feel like whether I drink, or not, the problems still remain; namely, I'm stuck with the pandemic and all of the stuff tied into it. I have stopped and started anywhere from weeks to months but ultimately feel like I'm genuinely worried and depressed about the state of things. It seems like drinking, or not, doesn't change that. So I figure why not do it?

CC09LawAg said:

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I feel the same, but I also feel like whether I drink, or not, the problems still remain; namely, I'm stuck with the pandemic and all of the stuff tied into it. I have stopped and started anywhere from weeks to months but ultimately feel like I'm genuinely worried and depressed about the state of things. It seems like drinking, or not, doesn't change that. So I figure why not do it?

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I made it through day 1. Thursdays are my hardest day at work, and I typically "unwind" by drinking from 5:30 to whenever I go to sleep. Today, with grace, I'm not going to drink.

CC09, I can't tell you if you have a problem with alcohol or not. Many people have emotional or mental health issues that are not substance related, and the current circumstances have been challenging (to one degree or another) for most people.

To turn around your question, though, what's the benefit of drinking? Are you getting pleasure for it, or just turning off anxiety for a while?

I just thought I'd leave this here, in case it helps anyone.

There is a podcast I like called "In Recovery" hosted by Dr. Nzinga Harrison. She covers addictions of all types, not just substance abuse.

She defines addiction very broadly as basically doing something that has a negative effect on your life (and the lives of your loved ones) and repeating that behavior DESPITE those negative consequences.

It doesn't matter what the behavior is or how often you engage in it (i.e., for alcohol addiction, how much you actually drink is irrelevant). It's the fact that you keep repeating behavior that has such a negative outcome - that is addiction.

Yokel - Expressing what you did yesterday in a public place can be one of the hardest things to do, so I commend you for taking the step of doing that. I can completely relate to the "hard" days experience and needing to break the patterns of behavior behind those. For me, that meant avoiding certain situations for some time - a Mexican restaurant on a Friday night was a prime example - while also adjusting other things like the route that I drove home from work and how and when I grocery shop to break the day to day drinking behaviors.

I will say that getting into a structured routine of attending AA meetings and the community that brings was vitally important as well. Being surrounded by people - in whatever capacity that support exists or can exist for you - who understand and could support me in reframing the physical and mental habits that had become completely wrapped in my addiction to alcohol into new physical and mental habits was and is vital to my recovery. I know that you run, so I would encourage you to lean into that (in a healthy manner) along with the other steps that you are taking. For me, the ability to wake up early, feel good physically, and then be mentally present for a run to start the day really became the way that I enjoyed the feeling of not drinking the day/night before and locking intent to not drink that day.

CC09 - I hear you loud and clear, particularly in the past 18 months. I want to echo what I said to Yokel and commend you for taking the step of acknowledging it in public place. Those aren't easy words to write in any context, and it takes a lot do that. I have been sober for the duration of this covid thing, and I know that my mental health has been good, bad, and in between.

I don't think that I ever thought that me getting sober would just solve all of the life's problems, and I really had to adjust to how to cope with life's problems without the blunting force of alcohol. Some of that process was easier, but damn some of it was really hard. It ultimately came down to a key decision for me of "am I going to temporarily suppress the negativity through drinking or am I going to actively and openly pursue something less destructive and forward facing instead". Earlier on in sobriety, I often lived with the mantra of "no bad days" but that eventually shifted to a mantra of "win the day". For me, that was indicative of shifting my approach from the avoidance of bad or negative things to the open and intentional pursuit of good or positive things.

It seems that you are assessing your relationship with alcohol relative to life as a whole, and again, I really commend you for that. When/if you decide to pursue an alcohol-free life, I know that there is a way that can be done. For me, it was and is AA, counseling, and fine-tuning my social circles and support network. That community aspect of shared perspective and experience can not be understated. I wish you all the best on this journey.

That is a whole lot of words, but I read things in both of your posts that I related to so strongly, and I feel compelled to share my experiences. I always worry about coming off as preachy, but it really comes down to how life-changing recovery has been for me and wanting to share that with others in the right time and place.

If either of you would like to talk more directly, feel free to PM me or email me at pcmoore21 at yahoo dot com. As Jim mentioned above, we would love you to join us during our Zoom meetings to have an open and supportive conversation. All the best to both of you.

Ditto to Ptot's post. Come join us @ 7pm. It's as informal as it ever gets. Just a group of Aggies trying to solve a common problem.

Appreciate the support. Tonight isn't going to be possible for me, but I may be able to make Sunday.

Yokel, congrats on two days I think now? Taking it one day at a time is a good approach. I was a daily drinker myself for a very long time. It took a while for me to get the negative effects that you speak of behind me, but I ultimately realized those benefits you mention and many, many more.

CC09, if you are trying to stop, but can't stay stopped, it's probably a sign that it's a good idea to continue trying. I understand what you mean when you say you don't think drinking or not drinking makes a difference. The consequences I was experiencing weren't overtly obvious. It was so hard for me to see beyond my next drink. I would ask myself if the pandemic and associated crap ended today, would I still want to drink? Or would I still want to stop? Or should I want to stop?

There are always going to be challenges in life. I know today with a sober, clear head I am far greater equipped to handle those challenges. It isn't just that I am not drunk and unable to think clearly (which helps of course), it is that I have tools for living and coping with life that allow me to handle things that come my way so much better. Living a sober life had allowed me to worry a lot less about things I can't control than drinking ever did.