Happened to stumble onto this thread, and gotta admit I'm pretty damned choked up reading through the thread. It's pretty well known on TA, especially the OB, I effectively don't drink. Through most of the 80's (back when AA meetings were Smokey as hell), I was the kid sitting off in some back room of you name it AA group.
AA changed my dad's life dramatically. Before he stayed with the program, he royally fell off the wagon multiple times. As luck would have it, a series of events hit home. In March of 1980, my dad woke up one morning and literally couldn't get out of bed. He had a super severe form of arthritis kick in, and at the age of 29 was told he would never work again. I was 3, and they had found out about 10 days before they my mom was pregnant with my sister. At the time he was working his a-- off to get us out of the Pleasant Grove area of Dallas. As you can imagine, being told you would never work again at the age of 29 hit him hard....gloriously falls off the wagon. On August 10, 1980, we were hit by a drunk driver, and I was within two minutes of having my right eye surgically removed. It was ALWAYS a source of contention about whether my dad was drinking that day or not (a half empty bottle of vodka slid out from under his seat). Needless to say, he got the ultimatum to stop drinking AND smoking (he was a 2 pack a day smoker by then).
August 15, 1980, he stopped smoking cold turkey and met an AA sponsor that was blunt. Boiled down, my dad was Army Special Forces for Vietnam, and as a root had major survivors guilt. This guy was a Marine that had been through the same. With my sister on her way, he knew he couldn't support a family properly on a disability check. He got a paralegal certification from SMU.
When he tried to go back to work, folks love his resume, But....When he would come in and have to explain his handicapped issues (walked with canes and only had about 40% hearing in one ear, but really good at reading lips), they would turn him down due to insurance issues. One 3 occasions he was extended a job offer only to have it rescinded. Needless to say there were lots of AA meeting. The only people that gave him a shot was HUD (feds). They were also leery of his conditions, but legally didn't have much of a choice (ADA). He made it to 65 with the feds, and and used a grand total of 10 sick days over 30 plus years. And NEVER due to pain (he effectively had 2 broken legs, 2 neck fracture and 3 back fracture by the time he retired).
He got to where he could easily be around alcohol and not be phased by it. That took a number of years. The folks drinking were usually more uncomfortable about than he was. Even 20 years into the program someone would joke about a sip. "If I take a sip, you might as well hand me the bottle". He was distinctly against moderation. Lots of folks over the years would hit about 6 months, disappear slowly from AA, because they had learned to control themselves. More often than not, usually around a holiday, he would get a call between midnight and 2 AM and they had royally fallen off the wagon.
My dad retired in 2015. Doing pro bono legal work and AA became his two main things outside of the house. When he got sick last year, folks from AA came out of the wood works to come sit with him at the hospital, and bring food to my mom. Ironically, the last guy my dad sponsored was a young Indian doctor (either 6 weeks or 6 month) who was at the hospital constant helping my mom.
The only thing with his ashes is his 35 year chip.....yes, I am choked up bad now
I'll shut up now. Y'all have some amazing posts going here. I know AA doesn't work for everyone, but I have seen it work for a hell of a lot if people when they fully worked the 12 Steps.
AA changed my dad's life dramatically. Before he stayed with the program, he royally fell off the wagon multiple times. As luck would have it, a series of events hit home. In March of 1980, my dad woke up one morning and literally couldn't get out of bed. He had a super severe form of arthritis kick in, and at the age of 29 was told he would never work again. I was 3, and they had found out about 10 days before they my mom was pregnant with my sister. At the time he was working his a-- off to get us out of the Pleasant Grove area of Dallas. As you can imagine, being told you would never work again at the age of 29 hit him hard....gloriously falls off the wagon. On August 10, 1980, we were hit by a drunk driver, and I was within two minutes of having my right eye surgically removed. It was ALWAYS a source of contention about whether my dad was drinking that day or not (a half empty bottle of vodka slid out from under his seat). Needless to say, he got the ultimatum to stop drinking AND smoking (he was a 2 pack a day smoker by then).
August 15, 1980, he stopped smoking cold turkey and met an AA sponsor that was blunt. Boiled down, my dad was Army Special Forces for Vietnam, and as a root had major survivors guilt. This guy was a Marine that had been through the same. With my sister on her way, he knew he couldn't support a family properly on a disability check. He got a paralegal certification from SMU.
When he tried to go back to work, folks love his resume, But....When he would come in and have to explain his handicapped issues (walked with canes and only had about 40% hearing in one ear, but really good at reading lips), they would turn him down due to insurance issues. One 3 occasions he was extended a job offer only to have it rescinded. Needless to say there were lots of AA meeting. The only people that gave him a shot was HUD (feds). They were also leery of his conditions, but legally didn't have much of a choice (ADA). He made it to 65 with the feds, and and used a grand total of 10 sick days over 30 plus years. And NEVER due to pain (he effectively had 2 broken legs, 2 neck fracture and 3 back fracture by the time he retired).
He got to where he could easily be around alcohol and not be phased by it. That took a number of years. The folks drinking were usually more uncomfortable about than he was. Even 20 years into the program someone would joke about a sip. "If I take a sip, you might as well hand me the bottle". He was distinctly against moderation. Lots of folks over the years would hit about 6 months, disappear slowly from AA, because they had learned to control themselves. More often than not, usually around a holiday, he would get a call between midnight and 2 AM and they had royally fallen off the wagon.
My dad retired in 2015. Doing pro bono legal work and AA became his two main things outside of the house. When he got sick last year, folks from AA came out of the wood works to come sit with him at the hospital, and bring food to my mom. Ironically, the last guy my dad sponsored was a young Indian doctor (either 6 weeks or 6 month) who was at the hospital constant helping my mom.
The only thing with his ashes is his 35 year chip.....yes, I am choked up bad now
I'll shut up now. Y'all have some amazing posts going here. I know AA doesn't work for everyone, but I have seen it work for a hell of a lot if people when they fully worked the 12 Steps.
