Donkey is back and making up for lost time tonight, three strikeouts so far. He was one strike away from the Golden Sombrero when he made weak contact and popped out. Unless New York sends 9 men to the plate in the 9th it doesn't look like he'll get another chance tonight.

He is 0 for 20 with 11 strikeouts since I cursed him last Monday.

Last week in Ks
5-22 to 5-28 edition

Donkey watch
It was an abbreviated week for "Don't Call Me Uncle" Joey Gallo after.a COVID scare, and in a way a week that encapsulates much of what has gone wrong this year. One has to walk an exceedingly fine line to become the single season Strikeout King. Obviously, you need to suck, and Our Joey certainly sucks: 2 for 14 this week with 0 RBI, 0 extra base hits, 0 walks and 6 strikeouts. But you also have to do enough to remain in the heart of the lineup, and that's just not happening without some more production (Gallo has been batting 9th for the last couple of days, and the next stop on the bench may be coming soon). And then you have to stay healthy, too. It's why the record is such an achievement.

MLB strikeout leaders
1. Eugenio Suarez, SEA 63
The chase remains red hot with a third new leader in as many weeks. Suarez is on pace for 217 Ks. Franmil Reyes, like a comet flying too close to the sun, has hit the IL in a major blow to his title chances.
2. Patrick Wisdom, CHC 62
3. Kyle Schwarber, PHI 61
4. Adam Duvall, ATL 59
5. Chris Taylor, LAD 58

Golden sombrero club
Mike Trout! Second time this year.

5-22 Eli White, LF, TEX
5-22 Anthony Santander, OF, BAL
5-25 Mike Trout, CF, LAA
5-25 Darin Ruf, DH, SF
5-28 Sean Murphy, DH, OAK

Serious excitement in the Bronx tonight as Joey Gallo battles Aaron Judge for the team lead in strikeouts. Judge came in with a one K lead and has added another, but Winemaker battles back with not one but two rally killing Ks.

Oh, and Jameson Taillon is perfect through seven or something. Whatever. MOAR STRIKEOUTS!!!

UPDATE: Judge retakes the team lead with a K to end the seventh! Can Joey answer? In other news, Taillon blows perfect game.

FINAL: Oh Doctor! Gallo ties it up again with a bases loaded strikeout down 1-0 in the bottom of the 8th.

An extraordinary video from the guy with the game winning hit in the nightcap last night. Who does he credit for his clutch play? That's right, Joey Gallo. Turns out he was watching the pitches the opposing hurler used to strike out Donkey so he knew what to look for.

Rookie mistake by the hurler, though. The right pitch to strike out Gallo is "any pitch". You have to mix them up, for variety.

https://www.mlb.com/yankees/video/rizzo-on-coming-through-late

I would pay top dollar to see a video of Joey Gallo breaking down an at-bat.

Interviewer: "Joey, take us through that at-bat, pitch by pitch."

Joey: "Well the first one, was kind of like, some kind of a curvy pitch, I guess? I wasn't really watching because the beer vendor in the box seats was really loud. LIke, hey bro, we get it, Michelob Light goes down smooth. Anyway, I feel like the pitcher is probably throwing the pitch he thinks I might like the best first so I swung hard on that one but came up a few feet short."

Joey: "Second one, uhhhh, oh yeah, probably about 3 feet above my head. But one time in Little League back in Vegas, I swung at a pitch like that from Frankie Hernandez, who like, was so good, like he made All-Stars every year, and I got the bat on it, and it hit the third baseman in the nuts because he was crying already because his mom made him play that day even though he had the runs and he had just pooped his pants and I wound up with a triple. So I'm like, hey, lightning always strikes twice in the same place, but I think I pulled a muscle swinging on that one."

Joey: "Third one. Oh yeah, haha, third one bounced twice in front of the plate! Like I'm going to swing at that garbage! Like the old saying goes, bounce it once, shame on me, bounce it twice, we won't get fooled again. So now it's 1-2, and you know a pitcher doesn't want to get that 2nd ball, because I'm pretty sure 3 balls is a walk. Or is it a balk? Do you ever feel like someone just was trying to say balls and walk in the same sentence and they wound up saying balk but they didn't want to look stupid in front of all their friends at the bar, especially since Tommy finally brought his sister who I'd been trying to bang since 11th grade, so you just act like you meant to say balk?"

Joey: "Anyway, fourth one, I mean yes, technically if I hadn't swung it might have hit me in the face, but Coach Boone always says keep your eye on the ball. But I once told him, hey Coach, what if instead of that, I keep my BAT on the ball. And I mean, look, he's a great coach and his dad fought the Indians for our country, but he was SPEECHLESS. Like I just rocked his whole world when it comes to baseball insight. He sat there for like 25 minutes without saying a word. Eventually it got awkward so I went looking for Gleybar Torres to see who do the smelliest fart in the press box before they open it up to the media. Anwyay, I swung at that one, but the ball like defied gravity and kept rising and missed the bat."

Quote:

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Gallo is not in Friday's lineup against the Tigers. He is hitting .161 with 14 strikeouts and zero home runs over his last 10 games. Miguel Andujar is starting in left field and batting fifth.

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This is Communism. If Gallo is benched, Judge should be benched, too. Fair is fair.

Judge is batting .147 over his last 10 games! You can prove anything with statistics!

Last week in Ks
5-29 to 6-4 edition

Donkey update
Joey "Jo-Ey-Gal-Lo Clap Clap Clapclapclap" Gallo put together a .470 strikeout percentage at the plate last week, going 3 for 17 with 2 walks, 1 extra base hit, 0 RBI, and 8 big strikeouts. It's all about getting ABs for Donkey, and he could really use some of his patented "Eyes Closed Dingers" to get more consistent playing time, having fallen 15 strikeouts off the leader's pace.

As if that wasn't bad enough, there are dark clouds on the horizon from the direction of Scranton-Wilkes Barre, where left fielder Miguel Andujar apparently isn't satisfied with playing in the Home of Joe Biden and is "demanding a trade". He seems irked that the Yankees aren't playing him in left field just because he steals more bases, has a higher batting average/on-base percentage/slugging percentage, and higher WAR than Joey Gallo, despite having played in less than half as many games, or something.

MLB strikeout leaders
1. Patrick Wisdom, CHC, 74
Wisdom is right on record pace, projecting out at 222 strikeouts for the year.
2. Eugenio Suarez, SEA, 70
3. Kyle Schwarber, PHI, 67
4. Chris Taylor, LAD, 65
5. Adam Duvall, ATL and Julio Rodriguez, SEA 63

Trio watch
Right off the leaderboard in Atlanta are Braves' teammates Dansby Swanson and Austin Riley with 62 strikeouts. With Duvall, the Trio of Doom is on pace for an astounding 561 Ks, which would eclipse the MLB record for a threesome. Not sure the Braves will allow Duvall to keep stumbling around in center field and whiffing well below replacement value for a full season.

Golden Sombrero Awards
There was a stunning dearth of Golden Sombreros last week, with poor Ryan McKenna standing alone going into the games on Saturday. Billy Madison must have told MLB that all the cool kids strike out yesterday, with sombreros flying all around. Three of the four players who struck out four times yesterday were designated hitters. What do you do when you are designated to hit? That's right, strike out!

5-30 Ryan McKenna, CF, BAL
6-4 Manuel Margot, DH, TB
6-4 Yadiel Hernandez, LF, WAS
6-4 Luke Voit, DH, SD
6-4 Keston Hiura, DH, MIL

You have to be a special talent to already be up to 9 RBI for the year and it's only june 5.

The Yankees are in town and a big crowd is anticipated at Target Field tonight as Minneapolis honors its favorite son for Prince Night.

The purple clad Twins faithful will hopefully get a chance to witness a titanic struggle between Twins RHP Cole Sands (0-1, 7.88 ERA, WHIP 1.63) and the Big Donkey himself, Joey Gallo, who is no doubt eager to prove that he isn't scared to strike out against anyone.

Sands is up from the minors, where his stats are almost as bad (0-4, ERA 7.23, WHIP 1.55). It's quite the challenge for Joey, assuming he can convince Ma Boone not to bench him again.

As your Upper Midwest Designated Strikeout Correspondent, I will be there for all of the twists and turns in tonight's action!

PREGAME UPDATE: Winemaker batting 9th. Better than benched, I guess.

COMPETITION UPDATE: Aaron Judge has batted, and the opposing pitcher's ERA is now 9.72. Judge 1-1, no Ks

UPDATE AB #1: Advantage pitcher. Useless pop-out from Donkey. Check out form below.

UPDATE AB#2: Judge with a textbook swinging K. Donkey has to counter next inning. Can't do it; Joey singles.

UPDATE AB#3: Judge knocks in Donkey! Still Judge 1 Joey 0 in Ks. Joey walks on a full count. Ugh.

PITCHING CHANGE UPDATE: "You have no strikeouts, I have two. Thus I assert my dominance." (Pic below.)

K UPDATE: YES!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL NIGHT TO SHOW YOU A BONA FIDE, CERTIFIED STRIKEOUT FROM DONKEY, AND HERE IT IS!!! MY WORK HERE IS DONE!!!

BONUS DONKEY UPDATE: Donkey RBI!! An honor to see this rare achievement!