***** RETURN OF THE KING: The 2022 Joey Gallo Appreciation Thread *****

49,911 Views | 560 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by The Porkchop Express
YokelRidesAgain
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AG
The New York Post also suggests that the San Diego Padres have an interest in El Burro Grande.

Imagine Joey outfitted in this beauty:

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The Porkchop Express
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redline248 said:

This would truly be the return of the king


I can't even. This would be like this thread winning the Powerball.

Joey quotes from the NY Post on the subject

"I'm aware of that possibility," Gallo told Dan Martin of the New York Post during New York's two-game series in Pittsburgh. "I've been in the league a while and I understand if you're not performing, things can change quick. For me, I don't see myself being anywhere else. I think we have a great team here with great chemistry. We've got the best record in baseball and I don't envision myself anywhere else. I want to be here."
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thegoodolag15
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Joey is the kind of player who needs to take a season and completely re-tool his swing. Dude has bigger holes in his swing than the titanic……but let's be honest…..We all love seeing somebody swing and miss so gracefully!
Mathguy64
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AG
Joey is about to go from the best team in the league back to one of the worst. That's a donkey punch to the gentleman's sausage.
redline248
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I asked my Rangers buddy what would they send in return, and he said "better not be more than a bag of sunflower seeds and some big league chew."
The Porkchop Express
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If the Rangers re-trade for Joey Gallo, I'm going to change my user name to King Donkey.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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I haven't kept up with the Rangers at all since Donkey got traded last year, other than to see how much Adolis Garcia was striking out. Their catcher Mitch Garver is having season-ending forearm surgery so they need another bat in the lineup to help them maintain their stranglehold on 8th place in the wildcard race.

Which means if they trade for Jose Rooster, he'll be playing every single damn day.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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And belated best wishes to Miguel Cabrera, who became just the 7th man to strike out 2,000 times in a career, accomplishing that over the weekend! He's up to 2001 and will pass Andres Galarraga for 6th all-time (2,003) in a couple of days.

It's fairly interesting that of the Top 10 guys in strikeouts all-time, 3 are in the Hall of Fame (Reggie Jackson, Jim Thome, Willie Stargell), Cabrera will be a first-ballot guy, and at least 2 other guys (A-Rod, Sosa) probably would be if it wasn't for steroids.

Adam Dunn is the real golden god of strikeouts, despite not being the all-time leader. He struck out 2,379 times in 14 years and broke 160 strikeouts 11 times. Everyone else in the top 10 played at least 16 years. Cabrera is in his 20th.



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Silvertaps
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AG
Joey needs to have a long talk with Chris Davis.
redline248
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How many K would Donkey have if he played 20 years
The Porkchop Express
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redline248 said:

How many K would Donkey have if he played 20 years
He averages 227 strikes per 162 games. If he played 20 years without missing a game it would be 4,540, almost 2,000 more than Reggie's record.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
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Snubbed for the All Star Game and snubbed in the lineup. The trade back to the Rangers can't come soon enough.

The Yankees will rue the day that they let go of Joey. The Curse of King Donkey is coming!
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YokelRidesAgain
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Two straight games without Joey in the starting--two straight losses to the Red Socks!

The Yankees are hopelessly lost without their leader, and this weekend's festivities are only a harbinger of what is to come should they have the temerity to trade him away!
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YokelRidesAgain
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Donkey is back in the lineup tonight after a weekend on the bench. He is one behind "All Star" Aaron Judge for the team lead in Ks. Hope he has a good whiffing bat picked out!
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redline248
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YokelRidesAgain said:

Donkey is back in the lineup tonight after a weekend on the bench. He is one behind "All Star" Aaron Judge for the team lead in Ks. Hope he has a good whiffing bat picked out!
The Porkchop Express
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redline248 said:

YokelRidesAgain said:

Donkey is back in the lineup tonight after a weekend on the bench. He is one behind "All Star" Aaron Judge for the team lead in Ks. Hope he has a good whiffing bat picked out!

Oh man, Joey G in the Natural is the stuff that dreams are made of. Let me get my work done and it's time to rewrite some dialogue!

Joey Gallo: "I coulda been better. I coulda broke every strikeout record in the book."
Iris: "And then?"
Joey: "And then? And then when I walk into the Golden Corral, people would've looked and they would've said there goes Joey Gallo, the ****tiest hitter there ever was in the game."
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
redline248
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1 lousy hit and no K for the Donkey. Lifted for a pinch-hitter in the 9th (Judge) who promptly struck out. wtf
YokelRidesAgain
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These trade rumors are throwing Joey off his game.

I know that this will be controversial, but I think it's time for Joey to consider PDDs (performance decreasing drugs). Like that one year when the Red Sock pitchers were drinking beer and eating fried chicken during games? Joey should do that, except that he should do it while actually playing in the game.

I can see it now. He saunters up to the plate with a tallboy in one hand and a chicken leg in the other, has the guy in the on deck circle hold his beer, and swings one handed while continuing to munch on KFC.
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redline248
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Dansby Swanson and Austin Riley are the first teammates to reach 100 K each. Adam Duvall is 3 whiffs away! Matt Olsen of the Braves is sitting on 95. What a race they've got going.
YokelRidesAgain
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Joey's nightmare streak finally ends with a K looking in the bottom of the 4th.

UPDATE: Bottom 9, and Joey is storming back with his 3rd K of the night. Likely needs at least 2 extra innings to have a shot at the Golden Sombrero.

Still trails Aaron Judge by 1 for the team lead in Ks.
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YokelRidesAgain
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Yankees win on a walk off wild pitch in the bottom of the 10th.

Surely even so dim an intelligence as Aaron Boone can tell that Joey's swings and misses are wafting the team gently, gently toward victory.
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The Porkchop Express
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Here comes Patrick Wisdom!
The Cubs' free-swinging third baseman has tied Eugenio Suarez for the MLB strikeout lead at 119, and done it in four fewer games. Wisom has 9 strikeouts in his last 4 games, including a Golden Sombrero in an 11-9 game, and has struck out 19 times in 41 at-bats in July. He gave Cubs' fans a taste of how terrible a hitter is last year when he struck out 153 times in 106 games, a 234-strikeout pace over 162. He and Genio in a Bottle are both on pace for 219 whiffs this year.

Third place right now belongs to Kyle Schwarber with 112 Ks. He also has 28 HR and 57 RBI so he won't be out of the race anytime soon, especially with Bryce Harper out for a while.

With his hat trick last night, Joey G is up to 95 in 211 at-bats. No one else in the league even comes close to that kind of production. That's striking out 45% of the time. If you could get him 600 at-bats in a year, he'd strike out 270 times.

His three whiffs got him to 980 in his career. That's good for sole possession of 365th place, one ahead of bizarro unlikely former MVP Terry Pendelton, and three behind consistent Astro and Ranger disappointment Mark McLemore. I'll never forget the spring of 1991 when McLemore hit .441 in spring training for the Astros to win the starting 2B job, then hit .148 in 26 games to start the season and got cut. Good times.

After that, Big Joe has two more Texas baseball legends on his punch list. Tied at 984 are Ranger catcher Jarrod "Hummingbird" Saltalamacchia and Astro/Ranger Carlos Lee, who I bet weighs 320 pounds these days, and whom only hustled on defense once in his entire career, a play that wound with up Adam Everett getting his leg broken.

Also, cheers to Miguel Cabrera for moving into 6th place all-time in strikeouts with #2,004, surpassing The Big Cat. Unless he plays 3 more years, that'll be it for Cabrera. Captain Steroids Alex Rodriguez is the next man up the ladder at 5th with 2,287.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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Look who's batting SEVENTH tonight, baby! Strutting around town with that .165 average!

It's the man that Gandalf the White once said of, "Joey Gallo. He is the King of all Donkeys. And he has been my friend through many dangers."
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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A strikeout already tonight!
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
yawny06
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AG
Donkey gets to come up as the tying run in the bottom of the 10th…

And after two pitches its 0-2.

And he walks…
Faustus
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helloimustbegoing said:

Look who's batting SEVENTH tonight, baby! Strutting around town with that .165 average!

It's the man that Gandalf the White once said of, "Joey Gallo. He is the King of all Donkeys. And he has been my friend through many dangers."


That sounds more like Gandalf the Grey after some Shire leaf than Gandalf the White. Latter stage Gandolph became a little pretentious and caught up in events before sailing to the West.

YokelRidesAgain
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Joey walks twice with only one strikeout in 5 plate appearances.

The strain that he is under is visible. It is too much for any one man, or even one Big Donkey, to bear.

Today the news broke that the Yankees have retained the services of former outfielder/infielder/bullpen catcher/bat boy Tyler Wade, reacquired via trade from the California Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in exchange for a spit bucket. This is a clear threat to Joey's position: Wade is the owner of a .214 lifetime batting average, only 162 strikeouts in 580 at-bats (both are practically Tony Gwynn compared to Joey this year) and, worse, yet, has already achieved 50% of Joey's career sacrifice fly totals in only six big league seasons!

In a foolish pursuit of "contact hitting", the Yankees braintrust is ruining Joey's season.
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The Porkchop Express
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Eugenio Suarez felt the push from Patrick Wisdom and responded like a champion with 2 K's and a 3-run home run to get to 121 whiffs on the year. Wisdom is second with 120.

More than halfway through the season now, and Suarez, who has played every game for those cagey Mariners, is on pace for 220 strikeouts, 3 short of the record. Wisdom is on pace for 218.

The only time in history 2 guys have struck out more than 210 times in the same year was in 2018 when Yoan Moncada whiffed 217 times and Giancarlo Stanton reached 2011.

Moncada is a strikeout unicorn. After accruing the 4th-most strikeouts ever in 2018, he dropped his total to 154 in 2019 and hit .315 to boot. Gotta be taking PEs!

Joey has cracked the top 40 all-time with his recent barrage. Last night was #981.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
redline248
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AG
He'll be the fastest to 1000K, right?
The Porkchop Express
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Not in terms of games, we discussed a couple of pages ago that Miguel Sano did it in 661 and Joey is around 695 right now. Might be in # of at bats though, would have to do some research on sano.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
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Donkey faces Nathan Eovaldi tonight. A Golden Sombrero would bring him to an even 100 strikeouts for the year.
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The Porkchop Express
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The Donkinator is 0-2 tonight with a strikeout. Average down to .162, 6 points under Chris Davis's all-time single season futility mark. Joe Rooster putting on a display for all those teams looking for a guy to make quality outs down the stretch of a pennant race.

Through two at-bats tonight, he's 4 for 28 with 13 strikeouts in July. Exquisite.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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Another whiff! Two tonight, average down to .161 and 98 strikeouts. Imagine the bidding war going on in MLB front offices right now for this kid!
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
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AG
Ha!

After Joey was ludicrously pulled from the game, his replacement, "All Star" Jose Trevino hit into a double play with no outs and the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth. That is two outs, where Joey would have produced one out (by striking out, of course).

Yankees lose the game in 11 innings. The rule remains: bench Joey and lose.
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1988PA-Aggie
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One of the announcers in last nights' game said Gallo is hitting .070 for that last 22 games.

How do you keep THAT in the starting lineup?
 
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