***** RETURN OF THE KING: The 2022 Joey Gallo Appreciation Thread *****

48,901 Views | 560 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by The Porkchop Express
The Porkchop Express
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Back in the lineup tonight!
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
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Check out the incredible video of Joey Gallo (who reached base on yet another walk) greeting Josh Donaldson at home plate below.

What is Our Joseph doing? Is he wagging his tail? Is it a mating ritual? Or is this some kind of dance of propitiation to the strikeout gods?

https://www.mlb.com/video/josh-donaldson-hits-a-grand-slam-8-to-center-field-joey-gallo-scores-gley?t=grand-slams
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YokelRidesAgain
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Whatever it was, it is working!

Joey strikes out in his first official at bat tonight to run his streak to 16 games!
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redline248
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This is the same guy who in Arlington celebrated homeruns by grabbing teammates' junk.

Mathguy64
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I believe the phrase everyone is looking for is "Joey swings a big stick."
The Porkchop Express
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I was just doing some saber-gallo-metrics and have further proof of Boone's sabotage of Joey's season. Donkey is hitting .268 in the 7 hole with his best # of strikeouts - 28! But guess what idiot keeps batting him 9th?

Also if he can keep his unreal anti-hitting equation going, and stay in the lineup, he can challenge pioneer Chris Davis for the worst batting average in a season. Davis hit .168 in 522 plate appearances in 2019. Through early action tonight, Jose Rooster is at .166
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
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Showboating Red Sock center fielder Jarren Duran throws down a leadoff Golden Sombrero right in front of Joey.

It's like he's mocking Joey because Boone never lets him lead off.
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YokelRidesAgain
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What is this sorcery? Joey has been implored to bunt, so bunt he does: right at the shift.

Although uniquely terrible, this will likely leave him with only a single strikeout tonight.
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redline248
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Holy hell
YokelRidesAgain
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redline248 said:

Holy hell
It's some 4D chess, for sure. Maybe Joey thought that all four infielders would collide into one another trying to field the ball and he would record the first inside-the-infield-bunt-home run in MLB history.

ETA: Although come to think of that, Joey probably just did that to make sure his closer stayed sharp. Nothing like no margin of error to make a reliever better.

Proving Joey's genius, Clay Holmes (who had a -0.8 career WAR before getting traded to the Yankees last year, whereupon he immediately became Mariano Rivera) mows down the Red Sock lineup in order in the bottom of the ninth to record his 16th save of the year and run his ERA to 0.47.

Joey should be player-manager.
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Faustus
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A couple of posters have hit on this above, but here's the ESPN blurb:

https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/34201300/mlb-power-rankings-week-13-which-teams-lead-season-halfway-point

Quote:

Sure, we could say something positive about the best team in baseball, but let's hate on the Yankees for a moment. Joey Gallo is hitting a robust .167. (The lowest qualified average during the expansion era: Chris Davis hit .168 in 2018.) He left the holiday weekend batting .149 with runners in scoring position and .032 in "late and close" situations.

So do the Yankees go after an outfielder at the trade deadline? They could play Giancarlo Stanton more in right field -- where his metrics are below average, but not unplayable -- and let Matt Carpenter assume more of the DH duties against righties if he stays hot. But you may end up exposing both players if you do that. Best bet: Yankees make a deal for outfield depth. -- Schoenfield
. . .
YokelRidesAgain
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Vindictive, bitter Aaron Boone has once again buried King Donkey in the 9 hole, but his nefarious plans have backfired!

After 8 Yankees come to the plate in the first inning, Joey will nobly lead off the second!

What will he do with this opportunity? Run the strikeout streak to 17 games directly?

Or perhaps a sacrifice bunt? No one will expect that.
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94chem
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Gallo can't buy a break. 2nd and 3rd, one out. Gallo hits a routine fly to right. Here it comes, the third sac fly of his career. But no. The Red Sox RF loses the ball, it falls behind him, 2 runs score, and Gallo gets credit for a 2 run triple instead. He also got thrown out at the plate trying to stretch.
YokelRidesAgain
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Joey was minding his own business, hitting his second useless fly ball out of the night, when the Red Sock right fielder apparently decided to take offense at the idea of Joey making contact and allowed the ball to bounce 20 feet behind him.

King Donkey mildly redeemed himself by getting thrown out by six feet at the plate, but this is the kind of thing that could cost him the single season batting average record. It goes in the books as a triple and 2 RBI, surprisingly the 8th of his illustrious career.
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YokelRidesAgain
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"What the hell? I get a third of an inning off every time this donkey comes to the plate. It's in my contract!"

Christian "Not Bronson" Arroyo
Red Sock right fielder



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The Porkchop Express
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I cannot express my sheer joy in this evening enough. Drove home 585 miles from vacation today to a house with a broken air conditioner only to find out King Donkey got thrown out on an inside the park home run.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
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Squeeze, Ags!

Donkey coming to the plate shortly for the 4th and quite possibly last time tonight, sitting on zero strikeouts.

Could this be the end of the streak??
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YokelRidesAgain
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Another out in the air.

Joey just can't not make contact tonight.
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YokelRidesAgain
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Now or never!

Joey due up third in the top of the ninth, looking for a K of any flavor.
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YokelRidesAgain
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In a blatant display of poor sportsmanship, the Red Socks block Joey's attempt at the record by sending outfielder Jackie Bradley, Jr. to the mound.

Although Joey doesn't get the ball out of the infield, he makes contact for a demoralizing 5 of 5 times tonight, finishing the game 1 for 5 with 2 RBI and no strikeouts.

Aaron Judge's record of 37 straight games with a strikeout should have an asterisk going forward. Allowing position players to pitch is ruining baseball.
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The Porkchop Express
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This is what Joey Gallo defines as a slide.

WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
redline248
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Is he going feet first, or did he try to dive over the catcher and roll

Big Donkey, indeed
The Porkchop Express
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He dove head first from like, I don't know, 10 feet away? The catcher had the ball pretty early, so Joey tried to dive outside of the tag range. He never actually touched the plate, which makes it even better. I think the catcher's tag sort of changed his angle some too.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!

In front of a national audience on Fox, Aaron Bleeping Boone isn't starting the King tonight.

What a travesty. A light like Joey's should not, nay, CANNOT be hidden. Fire Boone!
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The Porkchop Express
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Boone has little man syndrome. He's only the 4th best baseball player in his own family and he hates how much attention Joey is getting, making things look easy that he couldn't do in his career. He's not even the first Google suggestion if you type in "Aaron B" - you get Aaron Burr first. Aaron Burr would have appreciated Joey's all action, no talk mentality. I guarantee you if Joey Gallo had been alive back then, he would have shot and killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel just like Burr did, no matter how good a rapper Hamilton was.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
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Franmil Reyes swinging from his ears for a couple of whiffs today in the Cleveland Centurions 11-0 whipping of the ROyals through five. He's up to 25th now.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
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The Red Socks are starting "Kutter Crawford" tonight.

I still can't believe Joey isn't playing. The symmetry is perfect.

The opposing pitcher's name literally starts with "K", and he throws a kutter, which Joey can't hit. Much like 4 seam fastballs, sinkers, sliders, curveballs, screwballs, split finger fastballs, changeups and knuckleballs.

This could have been a golden sombrero kind of night.
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YokelRidesAgain
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Donkey in the game as a pinch runner in the 6th. He should get an AB later.
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The Porkchop Express
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YokelRidesAgain said:

Donkey in the game as a pinch runner in the 6th. He should get an AB later.
Really tells you a lot about the Yankees team speed when Jose Rooster is in as a pinch runner.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
gigem1223
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Gallo is actually a pretty good base runner. Faster than you'd think.
YokelRidesAgain
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"Joey Gallo has been susceptible to the strikeout, to say the least."

--FOX Announcer Guy
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yawny06
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Stanton picks up Donkey's slack with the golden sombrero….
yawny06
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Red Sox walk off the Yankees.

Joey's throw to the plate is 15 feet up the third base line.
redline248
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Can't expect Donkey to make an accurate throw when he's barely had time to get his mind in the game
redline248
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This would truly be the return of the king

 
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