***** RETURN OF THE KING: The 2022 Joey Gallo Appreciation Thread *****

49,960 Views | 560 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by The Porkchop Express
YokelRidesAgain
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helloimustbegoing said:

The slumbering Goliath awakens! 2 home runs for king donkey! Get him back in that lineup and striking out!
WHAT A NIGHT FOR EL BURRO GRANDE!!!

Home run. Home run. K swinging. K swinging. K swinging.

Three true outcomes? Ha. Our Joey scoffs at walks. Walks are for losers. It's two true outcomes--home run or bust.

If he can put together a string of nights like this, the record could be his yet!
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3B Paul 97
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Surprised that one HR actually has someone on base. Really bumping up the RBI total there.
The Porkchop Express
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3B Paul 97 said:

Surprised that one HR actually has someone on base. Really bumping up the RBI total there.
On pace for 22 home runs and 36 RBI.

Could be another record for Jose Rooster!

Fewest RBI for a player with 20+ home runs
[ol]
  • Chris Hoiles: 20 HR and 40 RBI (1992 Orioles)
  • Kevin Maas: 21 HR and 41 RBI (1990 Yankees)
  • Chris Duncan: 22 HR and 43 RBI (2006 Cardinals)
  • [/ol]
    WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
    YokelRidesAgain
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    Joey can't hit 20 home runs if he isn't allowed to play!

    Benched against Wade Miley, despite having gone 1 for 7 with a single and 3 strikeouts against Miley for his career. He could do WAY worse than that if Ma Boone would just give him a chance!
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    YokelRidesAgain
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    Joey making the most of his opportunities tonight from the 9 hole, striking out swinging in his first AB on national TV.

    UPDATE AB #2: K swinging again! 4 ABs may be challenging tonight as the Yankees are likely going to have only 8 innings to hit. Stupid Ma Boone. Let Joey hit cleanup!
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    yawny06
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    Strike out number two sandwiched by solo dingers….

    Swarmer gives up 6 homers in 5 innings. Wow…
    YokelRidesAgain
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    yawny06 said:

    Strike out number two sandwiched by solo dingers….
    That is why you want a guy like Donkey in the lineup. The pitcher can't be expected to stay in a rhythm if everyone just hits homer after homer after homer. The noble strikeout keeps the innings moving along.
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    YokelRidesAgain
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    Joey up, bases loaded, no outs. Can he make it 3 for 3???

    UPDATE: Ugh. No. Useless pop fly. Donkey needs a close game to stay dialed in.
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    RED AG 98
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    Wait was this a sac fly? Not watching but if so that's rarer than a hen with teeth
    yawny06
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    No…it was not nearly deep enough.
    RED AG 98
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    Whew. Thank god.
    yawny06
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    He did get his fourth AB, but popped out to the catcher to end the inning.
    YokelRidesAgain
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    Last week in Ks
    6-5 to 6-11 edition

    Donkey Watch
    Superficially, it was a good week for Joey "Joey Joey, bo-bo-ey, Bo-na-na fanna, fo-fo-ey, Fee-fi-mo-mo-ey Joey!" Gallo. The big burro went 5 for 18 with 3 home runs, 6 RBI, and 8Ks (.444 strikeout percentage). He also broke back into the top 10 in the majors for Ks with a total of 67. The homers should help keep Brian Cashman from entertaining any thoughts about DFA-ing our Joseph, or trading him for a batting cage.


    But when you compare Joey's performance to current MLB leader, Eugenio Suarez, it becomes apparent how steep the challenge is. Suarez also went 5 for 18, but racked up an astounding 11 Ks in a double golden sombrero week, an amazing .611 strikeout percentage. And it gets even worse--Suarez also somehow contrived to walk 5 times. If he could just turn half his walks to Ks, the record could be his easily. Joey simply has to hit some more solo dingers to move up in the lineup, and also whiff even more than he currently does. No one ever said it would be easy!

    MLB strikeout leaders
    1. Eugenio Suarez, SEA, 82
    Suarez has played all but one of Seattle's games, which helps a lot. He is on pace for a record breaking 225 Ks.
    2. Patrick Wisdom, CHC, 79
    3. Kyle Schwarber, PHI 75
    4. Trevor Story, BOS, and Chris Taylor, LAD 73
    (Come on, Joey! You're not going to let a Red Sock beat you, are you?)

    Golden Sombrero awards
    6-6 Eugenio Suarez, 3B, SEA (a K instead of a walk in his other PA would have given Suarez the rare Platinum Sombrero)
    6-7 Austin Riley, 3B, ATL
    6-7 Taylor Trammell, RF, SEA
    6-8 Joc Pederson, LF, SF
    6-8 Mitch Garver, DH, TEX
    6-10 Kole Calhoun, DH, TEX
    6-11 Eugenio Suarez, 3B, SEA
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    YokelRidesAgain
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    I am more and more convinced that Joey cannot stay dialed in without the tension of a close game.

    In an 18-4 laugher, he fails to produce a single strikeout. The 1-3 game with 2 RBI, 2 walks, and 2 runs scored may earn him another start, but you're not getting to 223 with zero strikeout days.
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    redline248
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    It's like he's not even committed to his own greatness
    The Porkchop Express
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    I can't believe they didn't let Joey pitch today. The guy is the strikeout king!

    Serious question: When Joey shatters Reggie Jackson's strikeout record in a few years, will Nolan Ryan relinquish the title of the all-time greatest strikeout artist?
    WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
    YokelRidesAgain
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    Meanwhile, Suarez just casually trots out another 0 for 4, 2 strikeout performance like it's nothing.

    Which, technically, it is.
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    YokelRidesAgain
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    helloimustbegoing said:

    I can't believe they didn't let Joey pitch today. The guy is the strikeout king!
    That would have taken away a save opportunity from Manny Banuelos.

    That's right, the Yankees' reliever Manny Banuelos was awarded a save for entering and finishing a game in which the score was twelve to three.
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    The Porkchop Express
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    Here's my real problem with the Yankees. Well, my main problem, I've got like 500 problems with them overall.

    You traded for Joey Gallo knowing exactly who Joey Gallo is. And now that you're tasting success in the win column, suddenly you're too good for Joey Gallo.

    Great, you're 44-16 in the standings, congratulations on your June championships. But when the chips are down in October, you're going to need someone at the plate who is not afraid to swing at the big pitch. And miss that pitch. And the pitch after that. And the next one as well.

    Let's look at that lineup. Aaron Judge is killing it, 24 HR, 48 RBI, .318 average, which obviously means he's back to cheating. And that's cool. If I could cheat and be a threat for the Triple Crown, I would cheat too. When the Houston Texans used to be mediocre as opposed to total trash, I was always in favor of Brian Cushing using steroids, because he was way better on steroids than off. So Judge will cool off when he gets caught cheating again.

    Then there's Matt Carpenter who has caught lightning in a bottle in his first 10 games. Only, it's not really Matt Carpenter, it's his evil twin who has made a deal with Satan to resurrect his career. That's why he's got the moustache, just like Evil Spock had the goatee on Star Trek. .

    Then you've got Joey Gallo, aka Joey Giantsbane, Joey Stormcrow, Joey Suncrusher, Joey Thunderfist, Joey Gallo, the Sword of the Morning. Here's the deal, that Booney doesn't seem to get.

    Joey Gallo is the most consistent hitter in baseball today.

    He's going to get a hit every 5-7 at-bats.
    He's going to get a walk every couple of games.
    He will hit a home run AT LEAST ONCE PER WEEK.
    He is not going to kill rallies with ground balls, because if he can't hit a home run, he will intentionally swing and miss at those pitches in order to keep the inning going.

    Back in 2017, the Texas Rangers, in their infinite wisdom, installed King Donkey in the lineup because they know what good baseball smells like, and they appreciate the kind of guy who goes out there and almost hits his weight day after day. In the glory years of 2017-2021, Joey guided the Rangers like few before him, helping them win games at a blistering 42% clip.

    Then they decided, they weren't going to get any better than the 78-84 mark that Joey dragged them to TWICE and they abandoned the USS Rooster and sent him to New York, where he made the Yankees so good that they briefly flirted with the idea of naming the ballpark, the House That Donkey Built.

    But then, he got bigger than Boone, and that shallow-ass jealous SOB started benching him. This has become four things.
    • A travesty
    • A sham
    • A mockery
    • A travesthamockery.

    News on the street is that the Phillies are trying to crown themselves by adding Joey G to the fold, because Harper and Schwarber need help striking out 10 times a game.

    Let's get Joey where he's appreciated, and soon. The fate of the strikeout record depends on it.





    WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
    YokelRidesAgain
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    Joey still mired in 9th in the lineup, live on TBS. Did Ma Boone not notice the three home runs Joey hit last week?

    UPDATE: Donkey dialed in in a 0-0 game, K looking. Joey needs to stay nervous about the outcome so he can fail.

    UPDATE AB #2: Bottom. four, the Tampa Bay right fielder dropped a routine fly ball after he closed his eyes while trying to make the play, like a poorly coached third grader (Why? Just why? Is he scared of baseballs? Why then did he become a baseball player??)

    Joey should file this technique away for future reference.

    With the Yankees staked to a 2-0 lead on two unearned runs, El Burro hits a useless groundout.

    UPDATE AB #3: Could be Joey's last chance at the plate coming up in the bottom of the 7th.

    Scandal in the top of the 6th, as umpire Robert De Niro (presumably in the employ of the Genovese crime family) gifted the Yankees a crucial out by overturning an obviously correct safe call at second base. This game should be tied. Let's see if the tension is high enough for Donkey to strike out.

    Ugh. No. A True Outcome, but the bad kind as Winemaker walks on a full count.
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    3B Paul 97
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    I bet ol Joey had a tear in his eye seeing the Astros with not one, but two immaculate innings in the same game against the Rangers. What more it was the same 3 batters. Only needed 18 pitches to ring up 6 Ks. Model of efficiency.
    YokelRidesAgain
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    Tonight's game is what I've been talking about. The game is 1-1 going into the 8th inning, and Donkey has a strikeout percentage of 1.000 (0 for 2, 2 Ks).

    If the Yankees bullpen can hold the Rays in check, a third strikeout is virtually assured.
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    YokelRidesAgain
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    Unbelievable!

    Gallo pulled from the game for Gleyber Torres, who promptly strikes out.

    Without Joey's bat whiffing them gently forward to victory, the Yankees are certain to lose this game to the Devil Rays.
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    redline248
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    Boone is
    The Porkchop Express
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    Boone is killing Joey softly with his song.
    WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
    YokelRidesAgain
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    The Big Rooster is having himself a night with a walk, a run scored, and an RBI double (and, of course, a strikeout).

    See, Ma Boone?

    This is what happens when you bat Joey seventh. Imagine what could occur if you let him hit third!

    FINAL: The .191 hitting titan finishes the night with a majestic 2 run homer. I dare Boone to bench him tomorrow.
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    Faustus
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    helloimustbegoing said:

    Boone is killing Joey softly with his song.


    I heard he had a good approach, I heard he had a style
    And so I came to see him try to hit for a while
    YokelRidesAgain
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    Gallo batting fifth against Alex Manoah!

    I'm going to go ahead and issue a SOMBRERO WATCH.
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    YokelRidesAgain
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    Last week in Ks
    6-12 to 6-18 edition

    Donkey Watch
    For Joey "Oh Joey, Well You Came and You Swung Without Taking, But Boone Benched You Today, Oh Joey" Gallo, it's about maximizing the return from what are becoming limited opportunities. Donkey's line for the week: 2 for 12 with a home run, 3 RBI, 2 walks and 5 Ks. Although a .416 strikeout percentage is nothing to sneeze at, the limited plate appearances led Joey to fall another 3 strikeouts behind the major league leader, Eugenio Suarez. The walks are particularly..galling.

    Joey is mired in the 9 hole again today.

    MLB strikeout leaders
    1. Eugenio Suarez, SEA, 90
    Actually not a great week for Suarez either, who falls back to a 217 strikeout pace.
    2. Patrick Wisdom, CHC, 85
    3. Kyle Schwarber, PHI 84
    4. Trevor Story, BOS, and Julio Rodriguez, SEA 82

    Golden Sombrero awards
    A short list this week, featuring a leadoff sombrero from Christopher Morel of the Cubs. See, what you want to do as the leadoff man is to make absolutely no contact whatsoever. If Pete Rose was dead, he would be rolling over in his grave.

    6-12 Christopher Morel, CF-2B, CHC
    6-16 Luke Voit, DH, SD
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    YokelRidesAgain
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    Ugh. Donkey walks twice in his first two plate appearances.

    This is not the way, Joseph. Your father, Antonio, the son of Italian immigrants from Sciacca, Sicily, did not raise you and your brother Salvatore to walk.

    Do not disappoint your father, Joseph. Swing away!
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    YokelRidesAgain
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    Excellent, Joseph.

    After back to back homers from Kyle Higashioka and Marwin Gonzalez, you delivered your father a strikeout for Father's Day.

    Now go get another one.
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    YokelRidesAgain
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    (Insert curse words)

    Joey pulled from the game for a freaking catcher as a pinch hitter.

    Does this lead to runs? No, no it does not.

    Let this be a lesson to you, Boone. Playing Joey Gallo=victory. Benching Joey Gallo does not.

    You sure have a nice record there with Joseph Gallo, the grandson of Sicilian immigrants. Be a shame if something were to happen to it.
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    The Porkchop Express
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    I am now actively working the phones to get Joey traded to a team that appreciates him
    WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
    YokelRidesAgain
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    Donkey limited to two innings as a defensive replacement with no appearances at the plate.

    The Yankees won, as is almost always the case when Joey is allowed to play.
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    The Porkchop Express
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    Joey just opened the game by staring at strike three like it was black hole opening up in the night sky. The man is a national treasure!
    WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
     
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