***** RETURN OF THE KING: The 2022 Joey Gallo Appreciation Thread *****

49,835 Views | 560 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by The Porkchop Express
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Joey has now done in 8 years and 2,656 plate appearances what it took Mark McLemore 19 years and 7,239 plate appearances

Struck out 983 times.

Joey has his sights set on three Hall of Famers on his kill list in the week ahead - Vladimir Guerrero, Brooks Robinson, and my second-least favorite player of all time, Gary Carter.

Assuming Joey can strike out 7 times in his next 126 plate appearances, which is kind of likely, he's going to get to 990 strikeouts in more than NINE THOUSAND fewer plate appearances than Brooks Robinson, who struck out 990 times in 11,782 plate appearances over 23 seasons (played from 18 to 40).

Robinson played at least 152 games a year from 1960 to 1974 and had exactly ONE season where he struck out more than 70 times (84).


WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
JABQ04
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
From Empire Sports Media,

The main problem is that Gallo hosts an unbelievable WHIFF rate. He's whiffing on 36.1% of fastballs, 47.1% of breaking balls, and 44% of offspeed pitches
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
thegoodolag15
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
helloimustbegoing said:

From Empire Sports Media,

The main problem is that Gallo hosts an unbelievable WHIFF rate. He's whiffing on 36.1% of fastballs, 47.1% of breaking balls, and 44% of offspeed pitches


I'm surprised he can even take batting practice with how often he swings and misses.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
helloimustbegoing said:

From Empire Sports Media,

The main problem is that Gallo hosts an unbelievable WHIFF rate. He's whiffing on 36.1% of fastballs, 47.1% of breaking balls, and 44% of offspeed pitches
That's not the problem, that's the SOLUTION. Because Joey swings and misses at so many different types of pitches, his teammates get a good look at all of them.

That's why he is the straw that stirs the drink, or would be if Aaron Bleeping Boone would just get his sorry behind out of the way.

Joey's whiffs have led the Yankees to a 62-28 record through 90, and it would likely be 70-20 if Boone wasn't a friggin' moron.

LET JOEY BAT CLEANUP.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Matt Carpenter.

Here is an object lesson in perseverance.

In 2019, Carpenter hit .226.

In 2020, he hit .186.

In 2021, he hit .169.

And what--WHAT--did he do with his opportunity after he got cut from the Round Rock Express and signed with the New York Yankees? Did he challenge Chris Davis' all time batting average record, like Joey Gallo? No, no he did not.

Instead, he is hitting .360 with two three run homers and 7 RBI tonight.

Look, Carpenter. Winners never quit and quitters never win. Joey's name will live on through generations because he is going to bat 50 points below Mario Mendoza's lifetime average. What are people going to remember YOU for? A 1970s porn star mustache?
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
Johnsy3
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
****ing Boone is so incompetent that he's even ruining the seasons of teams he doesn't manage. Red Sock ace Chris Sale looks to be out 6-8 weeks with a broken finger after left field usurper Aaron Hicks hits a line drive into Sale's hand.

Baseball is better when its stars are able to play. Had Joey been in his rightful place, that would have been a harmless strikeout.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
King DOnkey just pinch hit for Judge and hit a two-run BOMB! He's saved the Yankees bacon by turning an 11-2 nail-biter into a 13-2 rout! Aaron Boone, the public is begging you, get KING DONKEY in the lineup!
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
helloimustbegoing said:

King DOnkey just pinch hit for Judge and hit a two-run BOMB! He's saved the Yankees bacon by turning an 11-2 nail-biter into a 13-2 rout! Aaron Boone, the public is begging you, get KING DONKEY in the lineup!
It's a nice thought, but look, here's the deal:

Although you and I may understand baseball, it's clear that the Yankees' Dumb and Dumber management team, Cashman and Boone, do not. Or is the Yankees' penny pinching, skinflint owner ordering them to sabotage Donkey's season so he doesn't have to pay Joey his millions?

Either way, it is clear that what we need to be rooting for is a trade. Sure, right now Joey may look like a .160 hitter with 15 home run power, but with a proper amount of playing time, he could be a left handed, one EIGHTY hitter with TWENTY home run power. What contending team wouldn't want that in their lineup?
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
toucan82
How long do you want to ignore this user?
YokelRidesAgain said:

****ing Boone is so incompetent that he's even ruining the seasons of teams he doesn't manage. Red Sock ace Chris Sale looks to be out 6-8 weeks with a broken finger after left field usurper Aaron Hicks hits a line drive into Sale's hand.

Baseball is better when its stars are able to play. Had Joey been in his rightful place, that would have been a harmless strikeout.
amazing
Corporal Punishment
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Joey's super-agent, Scott Boras, sounds enthusiastic about the upcoming bidding war for Donkey leading up to the trade deadline.

Quote:

I do know there are a lot of teams that feel that Joey in their market and their uniform would be more of the normal than what he is in New York.

This is what we all want for Joey. More of the normal, which is to say, MOAR STRIKEOUTS!!!

Full story
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
redline248
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
At the All-Star break the Angels, as a team, are leading the majors in total strikeouts. HOWEVER, the Atlanta Braves are leading the way in the 3 man game with 307 strikeouts. They are the only team with 3 guys over 100 K, and in fact have a 4th guy at exactly 100. Amazing team race!

Braves 307
Riley 103
Swanson 103
Duvall 101

Angels 302
Marsh 106
Walsh 99
Trout 97

Mariners 292 continue to be carried by 2 guys
Suarez 124
Rodriguez 102
Winker 66

Yankees 284
Judge 100
Donkey 98
Stanton 86

With the amazing run by Patrick Wisdom, it's somewhat astonishing the Cubs aren't higher
Cubs 278
Wisdom 124
Happ 79
Contreras 75
thegoodolag15
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Trout being that high surprises me. But not that I think about it he did go through a truly awful streak earlier this year.
redline248
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Imagine if he would stop taking half of games off
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
thegoodolag15 said:

Trout being that high surprises me. But not that I think about it he did go through a truly awful streak earlier this year.
I think Trout might be the reincarnation of Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Put up great individual numbers year after year, played in the playoffs once.

https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/a/abdursh01.html
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
King Donkey with the accidental popup in his first at-bat today. Will lead off the next inning bearing down on that 99th whiff of the year!
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
redline248
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Took 3 ABs, but Donkey finally delivers a K looking in the 7th!
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
5-for-34 in July (.147) with 14 strikeouts.
WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
redline248
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
too many useless pop flies
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Boone, whose depth of iniquity is unrivaled, benches Joey for Game 2 and deprives the fans at the Juice Box of the chance to see his 100th K.

What the hell is a Tim Locastro?
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
With Joey on the bench for, as was expected, a loss, Aaron Judge sneakily moved 4 ahead in the team strikeout race and into sole possession of 6th place on the MLB list with a three K nightcap.

Simultaneously winning the MVP and the AL strikeout crown will be a tall order with the likes of Eugenio to contend with, but perhaps Judge can be the man to do it and personify modern baseball.

In the meantime TRADE JOEY.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
What should be Joey's 100th strikeout is coming up on ESPN+ tonight!

But why stop at 100? 101, 102, even 103 would be even better.

Get your popcorn ready! The chances to see Joey strike out in a Yankees jersey are dwindling.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Chance #1 gone: Donkey walks on a 3-2 count.

But Joey starts a 2 out rally, coming around to score on a 3 run homer by his bitter rival, Aaron Judge.

The. Straw. That. Stirs. The. Drink.

Chance #2: Useless fly ball. The tension is wrecking Joey's game. I can't wait until he gets traded to a team that will let him strike out the way he wants to.

At least Aaron Judge hasn't extended his undeserved team strikeout lead tonight, having clobbered 900+ feet of home runs in 3 ABs.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
A BA-DONKA-DONK FOR THE BIG DONK!!!

Still sitting on number 99, Joey hits his second big fly in 4 games.

With this fearsome display of power, how can a team like Kansas City resist this .165 hitting titan? When their own, homegrown "stars" like Whit Merrifield are telling the press that they would be happy to get a COVID jab so they could play in Toronto, if only they didn't play for such a hapless team.

Donkey has no fear of hapless. He IS haplessness, personified.

TRADE JOEY.

No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Cheap K for Aaron Judge, who strikes out after a called strike on a pitch a foot off the plate.

Why can't Joey get those calls?
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
THERE IT IS!!! K SWINGING!

NUMBER ONE HUNDRED!

DONKEY! DONKEY! DONKEY!!!
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
This is the face of a man who just gave up a home run to Joey Gallo.

No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Boone benches Joey again tonight.

How is he supposed to build on his success last night if he's not allowed to play?
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Donkey gets stuck in the stable, Yankees lose.

WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
The Porkchop Express
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Eugenio Suarez with 2 more whiffs vs. the Stros today. Up to 128 in 95 games, on pace for 218.

Patrick Wisdom also with 2, up to 126 in 94 games, on pace for 216.

Kyle Schwarber, having a Joey Gallo fantasy season, hard-charging, up to 123 K with 3 today. He's on pace for 212 strikeouts and 51 home runs.

WARNING: I have a deep-seated desire for others to love the Star Wars franchise as much as I do, in exactly the way I do, and get snippy and sensitive and passive-aggressive when they don't.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
K looking for Donkey on a fastball down the middle of the plate.

Not just any player can do that. The man is truly an artist.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
JOEY GALLO CAME TO THE PLATE WITH A MAN ON THIRD WITH ONE OUT, A CHANCE FOR THE THIRD SACRIFICE FLY OF HIS ILLUSTRIOUS CAREER?

DID HE GET IT?

No, of course not, he struck out!

102!
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
YokelRidesAgain
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Boone! Hey, Boone!

Yes, you, moron. Over here!

Last night you benched Joey and lost 6-3.

Today you let Joey play and he led the team to a 6-0 victory with an outstanding 0 for 4, 2 strikeout performance with 6 runners left on base.

Can the implications be any more obvious?
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.