woof....man that was not good.
I'm not sure where to begin, so i'll just start at the beginning:
- WTH was up with that pointless cell phone footage scene?
- My god WTF is wrong with Superman's mouth?! HOW does THAT happen? How does a studio ALLOW that to happen? It was glaringly awful EVERY scene and I found myself more involved with what his mouth was doing than what it was actually saying in the dialogue (which may have been a net positive).
- I don't understand Batman's opening scene...he was tracking a thief to lure one of those parademons? and the actual combat/hanging flying scene was campy as hell. and then let the thief go? Such a sloppy opening.
- CGI in the entire film was terribad. From Superman's mouth, to the Batcave, weird tentacle roots, Fake AF cornfield...Cyborg's face was the only aspect I found competently done (his body sucked tho). This was the most gratuitous green screen porn I've seen since Peter Jackson's "The Hobbit - BOTFA." And the quality was just as bad.
- Batman couldn't find Barry Allen.....but he was able to find his 'lair'? What was the point of having the prison guard alert him he was visiting his father if he already knew where he was hiding?
- Sooo if "Wonder Woman" was +1 for feminism...JL has to be -2, no? So many obvious close ups of her ass and 'undercarriage' in this movie. It was like the director knew the only people they could please with this film would be men just looking to ogle Gal Gadot. The rest of the movie made her look like 'mother goose', incapable of making her own decision.
- Atlantis was a freaking joke. We got all of 2 min with it and they didn't show ANYTHING. If there was one thing this movie needed, it was an Aquaman setup film.
- Superman's revival....ugh
- His appearance against Steppenwolf should have felt triumphant, but instead he throws a couple punches and then has to jet out because "civilians?" It was so herky-jerky and none of the conflict felt like there anything huge at stake.
- Steppenwolf got the 'mother boxes' aaaaaannd....nothing happened.
Gonna have to rapid fire these, or I'll have to type out 100,000 words to adequately express how sloppy and bad this movie was...
- The Flash's running motion literally made me LOL (unlike any of the intentionally funny scenes).
- What exactly happened when Batman grappled the Flash while he was running? Was that supposed to happen?
- Soo Wonder Woman can move faster than a bullet.....cool.
- Why is Batman dumb?
- Cavill still has the charisma and charm of a potato. Looks the part - can't act the part.
- The dialogue was soooooo terrible. When Lois told Superman he 'smelled good'? or when he responded how it felt to comeback 'it was itchy?' And the one-liners weren't any better: "I didn't bring a sword"...."At least I didn't bring a pitchfork"...."booyah"...."Hell yea"...."I work with children" -- I couldn't handle the ****ing one liners. They were too ****ing cheesy.
- What happened to the score? I literally can't recall any music. Did they even utilize WW's theme? or Superman's theme? (Both are really good)
I'm sure there's much more, but like WB, I'm throwing in the towel. How THIS movie is allowed to be made, is baffling. In this over-saturated market of superhero films, JL has the highest ceiling. It SHOULD rise above any of them. DC has better heroes and villains, but what WB is allowing to happen is a joke. This whole universe needs to be imploded. Affleck is done. Cavill is done. You can't have a JL with two lame duck actors portraying Batman and Superman.
Start over. Start right. Build from the ground up. No shortcuts. Storyboard a JL movie with 1 vision. Cut your production budget in half and focus on character development. We don't need 20 min long CGI battles if it sacrifices the motivations of the heroes (and villains) fighting in them. I want to know more about Barry Allen. I want to know more about Aquaman. I WANT to know more about Steppenwolf. Give that to me and you can keep the 'surfing parademon through a building' scene.