What the absolute ****

77,825 Views | 459 Replies | Last: 2 yr ago by BQ_90
AggiePetro07
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In reply to Stat Monitor Repairman • 8:54p, 11/2/21
AG
Stat Monitor Repairman said:
I don't fault Coach Banks for this.

Dude got caught up with that girl and we all know that goes.

We've all been there.

You just can't give a monkey access to kids. And you cant give kids access to a monkey.

The fact that it was halloween makes it worse.

The monkey was probably freaked the f*** out. People walking around in all kinds of crazy s*** the monkey ain't even use to.

The monkey was on edge because it was Halloween. You cant be having a live monkey anywhere near a Halloween event. You got people drunk, high, testosteroned and esteogened up. , messing around with a gd monkey.

Its turning in to Bladerunner out here.


I would assume being that stripper's monkey is much more like Halloween every damn day than anything like you or I live on a daily basis.
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AgDotCom
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In reply to Stat Monitor Repairman • 9:04p, 11/2/21
Stat Monitor Repairman said:
We've all been there.
No, we haven't. Many of us know and have used the coyote method of gnawing our leg off to get out of the trap.

Quote:

The monkey was probably freaked the f*** out. People walking around in all kinds of crazy s*** the monkey ain't even use to.
Agreed. My daughter has two dogs, and she threw a Halloween party last year. A guest got bit by one of the dogs and had to go to the ER for stitches. I wanted to tell her to get rid of the dog until I found out the victim was dressed as a panda, including the mask, and he reached down to pet the dog. Darwin move.
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AgDotCom
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In reply to BohunkAg • 9:15p, 11/2/21
BohunkAg said:

"She had balloons on the gate. A clear indication to any child to STAY OUT".


Damn, **** me.
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West Point Aggie
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8:30a, 11/3/21
AG
Is infoscores some weak attempt at mocking InfoWars? I can't get past the incorrect use of "stink's"… smh
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Z Team
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In reply to Serious Lee • 9:04a, 11/3/21
AG
Walt Luddiger said:
Madman said:

yes massa

Anyone notice what the monkey has sticking out of the diaper. Lol
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SgtBarbarossa
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9:18a, 11/3/21
Please... please let there be a 30 for 30 on this

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David_Puddy
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11:08a, 11/3/21
AG
Anyone have a pic of his ex wife? I'd love to see what he left to be with this sideshow of a human
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screw-tu
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11:16a, 11/3/21
HTF do you end up with this while pulling in $1,000,000 per year? Any sane head coach would boot his ass to the curb.
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Decay
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11:18a, 11/3/21
AG
She was with him during the tough times. When he only made 500k.
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Tom Doniphon
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In reply to David_Puddy • 11:22a, 11/3/21
David_Puddy said:
Anyone have a pic of his ex wife? I'd love to see what he left to be with this sideshow of a human

I understand she was a collegiate volleyball player / athlete and crossfit instructor.... my GIS finds nothing though.
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SgtBarbarossa
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11:37a, 11/3/21

Crossfit trainer in College Station. On a fight between the two my money is on her.
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jackie childs
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In reply to SgtBarbarossa • 11:45a, 11/3/21
SgtBarbarossa said:
Crossfit trainer in College Station. On a fight between the two my money is on her.
depends on whether the monkey is allowed to intervene
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screw-tu
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11:50a, 11/3/21
This guy has to be the absolute dumbest MF. I guess he has the instinctual awareness not to marry her ass. But...just...wow.
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Madman
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In reply to screw-tu • 11:53a, 11/3/21
AG
screw-tu said:
This guy has to be the absolute dumbest MF. I guess he has the instinctual awareness not to marry her ass. But...just...wow.


There is a good chance PA is married and just never bothered to get legally divorced before moving on.
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BohunkAg
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In reply to SgtBarbarossa • 11:56a, 11/3/21
AG
SgtBarbarossa said:

Crossfit trainer in College Station. On a fight between the two my money is on her.
Man what a stupid bastage
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The Agly Duckling
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In reply to aezmvp • 12:07p, 11/3/21
aezmvp said:
Surly Horns on this is comedy gold. I hope Roll Bama Roll dedicates an entire meltdown to the monkey incident.
Example of said gold: "This is why Mack had Cleve. He'd have cut off Dani's power an hour ago.

And then he'd move in for the nasty with the lights out."
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JimboKearn
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In reply to SgtBarbarossa • 12:22p, 11/3/21
SgtBarbarossa said:
Please... please let there be a 30 for 30 on this



Not too far off. Hell, Banks already looks a bit like Ed Helms.

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Madman
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In reply to screw-tu • 12:26p, 11/3/21
AG
screw-tu said:
HTF do you end up with this while pulling in $1,000,000 per year? Any sane head coach would boot his ass to the curb.


A million bucks in most college towns will get you an LA 10, hair color and bra size of your choice, that could be on a magazine cover or at least turn heads anywhere you took her.

In Austin it buys you a used stripper and her diaper wearing monkey. I mean she still turns heads but the people are also trying hard to contain their laughter.
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fburgtx
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In reply to Madman • 12:36p, 11/3/21
Madman said:
screw-tu said:
HTF do you end up with this while pulling in $1,000,000 per year? Any sane head coach would boot his ass to the curb.


A million bucks in most college towns will get you an LA 10, hair color and bra size of your choice, that could be on a magazine cover or at least turn heads anywhere you took her.

In Austin it buys you a used stripper and her diaper wearing monkey. I mean she still turns heads but the people are also trying hard to contain their laughter.


Hey, we're in a Biden inflationary spiral. A million bucks doesn't buy what it used to!!! "Elections have consequences....."

That used to be "trophy wife" money. Now, it's "skank stripper with a diapered monkey", money. Times is tough in Austin...
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HTownAg98
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In reply to Madman • 12:39p, 11/3/21
I believe they met when he was in Tuscaloosa. He may have had slimmer pickings there. But one would think you could do better than what he picked.
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agent-maroon
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4:02p, 11/3/21
AG
It's not so much that he hit that, but the fact that he's sticking with her in a long term relationship. Guys sprout antlers in some weird situations, hey we've all been there. But this idiot appears to be trying to make a life with her.

Why?
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Tom Doniphon
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In reply to agent-maroon • 4:05p, 11/3/21
There's a little patch of skin responsible for all his problems, I'm guessing.
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RK
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4:11p, 11/3/21
AG
i always assumed she was a recruiting tool for cash laundering and poo-nanay.
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BQ_90
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In reply to RK • 4:12p, 11/3/21
AG
RK said:
i always assumed she was a recruiting tool for cash laundering and poo-nanay.
I just wanted to point out that poo-nanay isn't used enough on here
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BohunkAg
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In reply to Tom Doniphon • 4:19p, 11/3/21
AG
Tom Doniphon said:
There's a little patch of skin responsible for all his problems, I'm guessing.
his taint?
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Tom Doniphon
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In reply to BohunkAg • 4:20p, 11/3/21

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The Agly Duckling
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4:31p, 11/3/21
This reminds me of a great line from The Right Stuff:

"The issue here ain't **ssy. The issue here, is monkey."
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agent-maroon
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In reply to Tom Doniphon • 4:39p, 11/3/21
AG
Tom Doniphon said:
There's a little patch of skin responsible for all his problems, I'm guessing.

Except that it's not skin and it can't be that good. Even the best, uhm... "patch" will eventually get too familiar to put up with her monkey problems and other BS. Or maybe not. Thankfully I'll never know
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
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AgCat93
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In reply to Tom Doniphon • 5:35p, 11/3/21
AG
Tom Doniphon said:



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BohunkAg
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7:06p, 11/3/21
AG

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Mathguy64
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7:08p, 11/3/21
AG
Just to be clear, is Gia the name of the Monkey of the real name of the Pole Assassin? I'm confused here.
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Sea Speed
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In reply to Mathguy64 • 7:09p, 11/3/21
AG
Monkey. Pole assassin is Danielle or dani for short.
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David_Puddy
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In reply to Tom Doniphon • 10:14a, 11/4/21
AG
Tom Doniphon said:


Anyone have a link on the World Wide Web where I can go see her sans Dr. K's favorite emoji?
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West Point Aggie
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10:19a, 11/4/21
AG
Pole assassin …. nice double entendre I'm sure
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BohunkAg
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In reply to David_Puddy • 10:24a, 11/4/21
AG
David_Puddy said:
Tom Doniphon said:


Anyone have a link on the World Wide Web where I can go see her sans Dr. K's favorite emoji?
Are you a glutton for punishment?
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