Congrats on the baby. Everyone of them is a blessing.
As a father of 4,(7,5,3,18mo) with number 5 due in September(yes, we are Catholic.) I will share my perspective. It may not fit your wife's birth plan and family but hopefully it can help you not place blame for policies and procedures on the incorrect parties.
I'll be honest, we are looking forward to #5, and not having to entertain family post birth. All you want to do is sleep, and recover. Having to clean up, and talk to people in a tiny room, when hopefully the baby is sleeping, is just even more exhausting.
It would be nice to get the family hospital picture like we have with our other kids, however, we can do that when we get home in a couple days. It's nothing tragic.
Personally, I think hospitals and other venues have loved using covid as continuing their excuse to limit visitors. It makes it a lot easier on the staff and medical personnel to not have to track, approve and follow visitor movements.
You have had several months during this pandemic to research and determine what your providers policies would be, so this should not be a surprise to you and your wife. Usually other options exist, midwife clinic, home birth etc. those are personal options you just weigh.
For full transparency, I had Covid last year, and I have not decided if I want to get the vaccine yet. I have no issue with it, other than I don't see enough evidence to warrant needing the shot. (I'm not scared of needles, I work at a blood bank and I am a 21 gallon donor.) my personal doctor and I have chatted several times and while he said he would go ahead and get it just cause, he also said he understands my perspective and thinks it is not unsafe for me.
My wife who is an RN, got the vaccine back in April. While pregnant (gasp!!!)
she is fine, baby is fine and we had no worries about her and the safety/efficacy of the vaccine. Her dr and her consulted and was supportive either way. She opted in.
None of our kids have been, nor do we plan to have them vaccinated anytime soon. Not because we are worried about safety, we just don't see the need to vaccinate for something that will most likely not effect their health. The rest of the family is getting vaccinated to protect themselves that are in the at risk population, and that historically has been the best plan for society's to move forward. All our kids have been on the normal vaccine schedule for children for all other diseases. Except for 1 as she had some immune system issues and reactions early on, so she is on the delayed schedule so that we can isolate which ones she reacts to and not overwhelm her immune system as it develops.
And just so you don't think I'm lying. Rule one on me and the kids. Not posting wife pics.. sorry not sorry you GB creeps.