Dad is in sales, not commission based, for a private company. He spent his career buying Equity into his esop, buying out old timers as they retired. He's done well.

Bump to keep this thread going. Always refer to it throughout the year.

Just graduated and started working (MEEN major out in west texas)

I'll get there one day

Interesting thread, read through it some time back and just found it again.

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who made it working for "the man." It really helped that "the man" was big oil, where salaries and bonuses have become pretty ridiculous for many engineers and geoscientists. With an advanced degree, most new hires are starting off well above $100k.

Agree with a lot of what has been said here -- try to minimize debt (esp credit cards), max out on 401k, and live below your means. And prepare your *nus for college costs. Kids are expensive, and as they get older you just find yourself writing bigger checks. That said, your near-retirement years are typically your most profitable -- you are likely to have your highest income and lowest costs, so you can do a lot of catching up if you think you are behind the curve.

I was intrigued by the MND wealth formula several pages back -- ran the numbers and found I'm pretty much bang on: early 50s with net worth just north of $2m.

ChipFTAC01 I know your brother well from his time in Singers and he did indeed live the good life. Unfortunately what some, not all, are seeing with assignments in Singapore are reductions in the perks because at the end of the day this island is not a hardship location like being stuck in some African and SE Asian countries. This reduction doesn’t just apply to Americans, the Europeans are feeling the pinch as well.

That being said, my wife and I are DINKS and we are doing fairly well for ourselves so it isn’t all bad.

This thread is the epitome.

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This thread is the epitome.

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epitome of what?

exactly

Always enjoy reading the thread when it comes back up.

My wife and I were both lucky enough to have graduated from college with zero debt and starting salaries that were combined north of 100k which put us well ahead of the curve.

At age 27, we're well on our way to at least 5-6 mil in our 401ks and it would be more if my wife didn't like shopping so much. She gets $450/month to spend on whatever she wants (clothes, shoes, etc) so that there are no arguments. I get $250, which generally gets saved for a few months for a big purchase or a bachelor party trip.

The key for me is automatic investments. Big chunk into 401ks, $300/week into my "future down payment" account and $150/week into our vacation/house improvements account. Budget everything else.

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My wife and I were both lucky enough to have graduated from college with zero debt and starting salaries that were combined north of 100k which put us well ahead of the curve.

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Probably most of that was not luck. You earned those degrees and starting salaries. Other than having parents that paid for your schooling. Nice position to be in.

No children planned?

[This message has been edited by SpicewoodAg (edited 7/30/2014 10:21a).]

Probably one kid in 3-5 years.

Will definitely change the budget. I don't know how people with $50k family income can support a kid, or even 3 kids. Kids are dang expensive.

Yeah, I'm doing pretty well myself, but with 3 kids and mom staying at home with them, it can definitely be depressing to see the numbers DINKS can post.

We got started on kids earlier than planned so we didn't get those glorious years of dual salaries.

Oh well, 3 daughters is pretty awesome too

Wrec86AG - you are well positioned for the time you have a child. I'd say the only thing you need to consider is whether or not one of you quits working when that happens. Don't be surprised if what you think then is different than what you think now.

[This message has been edited by SpicewoodAg (edited 7/30/2014 4:09p).]

Can't wait for the wife to finish grad school and to start saving more. Graduated in December and on track to have about $17,000 in different accounts (401k, pension, HSA)for my first year of investing (22) and still avoiding student loans for my wife. Once she starts bringing home money, hopefully bump that up closer to 35 or 40k.

Out of curiosity, why does it sound like so many peoples wives quit working when children came?

Because a lot of women want to stay home when they have a child.

Mine worked until we had our 3rd and decided to stay home because life was crazy with us both working and trying to raise a 6, 4, and 1 year old.

Now she is going back part time.

Whether both spouses work is a personal preference issue and possibly a financial issue. In my case, my wife was a full time well paid IT type when our first was born. She switched to part time because she (a bit more than me) wanted to be home as much as possible. When our second was born a litle over two years later, she stayed home and we could afford it.

I believe that it is "better" to have a parent home for most of a child's early years. My wife was happier to be the person looking after our kids instead of someone else paid to do it. Everyone has their own view of this issue and that is cool with me. I have known a few couples who relish every minute they are not around their kids and that is not cool at all. Predictably, their kids are suffering.

Top quality day care is not cheap. From a financial perspective - I'd say it is best to have the option of a stay at home parent. If you absolutely cannot live without two salaries - then something has to give. I hope it isn't the child that suffers.

Add: there is no doubt that in my case - because my wife stayed at home I was able to accomplish a lot in my career. I'm certain I was able to do more, and faster, because my wife and I weren't both trying to move up in our jobs at the same time and raise kids.

[This message has been edited by SpicewoodAg (edited 7/30/2014 4:21p).]

My wife is the breadwinner (by definition) She makes roughly 60% of our combined income and is on the fast track at a major oil/gas company. She has brought up the idea of her (or less likely me) staying home with the kid if/when it happens, but it would be tricky for us financially.

Right now she is hesitant on even having a kid, so we'll cross that bridge as we get closer to age 32 unless the master planner upstairs decides to throw a wrench into our plans anyway.

Having your wife stay home with your kids (assuming she wants to) is an investment worth an infinite amount of money. If you have the means to do it and your gut is telling you it's the best thing for your family, do it everytime. Getting monetarily "rich" should come second to this

In addition, you will NEVER regret having kids regardless of your financial situation. They're the highlight of your life

I have three kids - 24, 22, and soon 20. The oldest two have their degrees (one from A&M). The last in process. Unbelievable and incredible journey so far.

Work hard so you and your family can live like you want to.

Wife stays at home and takes care of our kid (soon to be kids). She was a teacher, so her salary would just barely cover day care. For us it was an easy choice. I honestly feel sorry for the kids (not the parents) that get raised by a Mexican nanny (tons in my hood) or a day care.

Wow some of y'all make it seem like daycare locks your kid up in a closet with only a few cheerios & they don't change their diaper all day.. It really isn't that bad.

Trust me, I am all for a parent staying home & was actually very anti-daycare myself until I actually experienced it. My wife stayed home for 6 months, our daughter is 9 months now, and to be honest I have been extremely satisfied with daycare.

I just look at the people around me today & how they grew up. Me and my brothers were raised by my mother at home while my dad worked. We are all so different, and you could say two of us are successful while my middle brother has lived a much tougher life than us because of some choices he made on his own. My friends today are all similar to me.. Graduated college, have good jobs, a lot of them just getting married & having kids, blah blah blah, and if I think through each of them probably half of them or more all went to daycare as kids…. Plenty of old friends from high school who have turned out to be deadbeats & dropped out of college, guess what.. half of them came from christian, upper class homes & were raised by mom at home. All I am saying is I am yet to find a correlation between whether a person is successful in life & if they were raised by mom at home or in daycare. Good parents are going to be good parents & bad parents will be bad parents regardless if their kids are enrolled in daycare or not.

Never had a stay at home parent and I was able to pay off over 30k in student loans within 2 years after grad school, and my sister just daycared her way to a full ride at UCLA
Single moms can get it done too


[This message has been edited by Elitezags (edited 7/31/2014 2:04a).]

yea, well...I had a stay-at-home mom and was able to scholarship/work my way through school with no loans...so...there!

I don't think anyone here has suggested that a child can't succeed without a parent at home. Most are speaking to the gratification of being able to spend more time with the kids, if the opportunity exists.

In my mind the debate as a parent is, do I really even owe it to my kids to pay their way through college? My parents did not pay my way. I had a combo of loans, scholarships and working through school. I would not change the way I did it one bit and feel like it built character in me. I have more means now to pay for my kids way than my parents did, but I want them to earn it.

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Single moms can get it done too

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Of course they can. You're an example of it working.

Afarmer95 - your point is legitimate. I paid for between 1/3 and 1/2 of my total cost of going to A&M. I had a small student loan.

I paid for almost all of my kids college expenses. But they earned their own money for leisure. They drove used cars. They paid for their gas. They earned varying amounts of scholarships - one of my kids is an NCAA athlete. We are comfortable, but the kids comparatively are living pretty average compared to their peers where we live (Lake Travis). We all know kids who drive BMWs (our neighbor's high school kid drives an M3).

My oldest son is two years out of college. He lived at home his first 18 months while he worked. He saved that $1000/mo he would have spent on rent and it sits in his Fidelity account, invested actively. He has learned good financial habits.

I have been determined to position my kids to be successful - but through hard work. So far it is working.

I was raised by a Mexican nanny, and I'm doing pretty great. My mom wasn't "built" to be a stay at home mother. In fact, I'm sure if she was, my sister and I would NOT have a very good relationship with her. With that said, she was a great mom, but she is hard-wired to save people's lives, and she is damn good at it. I'm proud of my mother for her choice, and I think it was the best one for our family. My parents didn't love me any less or treat me any worse by both working most of my life. Hell, I even went to school in a school district that I'm sure would make most people from A&M shake their heads at how poor it was and I still was very successful throughout college. And yes, I know pretty much all of you aren't saying that is automatically the case with non-stay at home moms, but it still comes across as condescending.

Is it awesome for one parent to stay at home with young kids? Yeah, but if one or both parents aren't "wired" that way, why humble-shame them into feeling like terrible parents? With that said, the more I work and realize how much time it takes to work, sleep, take care of yourself, etc., the more I'm convinced that one parent will have to sacrifice some career advancement to have a strong family unit (as in, there will always be times with both parents working that one has to go be home with a sick kid).

Having your wives stay home with your kids was right for YOUR family, not for ALL families.

AFarmer - in my opinion, paying for as much of your child's higher education costs as you can is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. I had my college paid for (undergrad only...any advanced degree is on my dime) but I had to maintain grades. If I failed a course, you better believe I would have had some severe consequences. I worked my last 2 years in school but it was more for the experience and not necessity. There are ways for your kid to "earn" their degree without actually having to go into debt for it.

[This message has been edited by Natasha Romanoff (edited 7/31/2014 8:26a).]

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I don't think anyone here has suggested that a child can't succeed without a parent at home. Most are speaking to the gratification of being able to spend more time with the kids, if the opportunity exists.

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I agree... but comments like this:

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I honestly feel sorry for the kids (not the parents) that get raised by a Mexican nanny (tons in my hood) or a day care.

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are pretty ridiculous & I think what caused the uproar.

The 6 months my wife spent at home with our daughter was worth every penny in the world, but as Natasha pointed out, everyone's situation is so different & there are so many variables.

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In regards to paying for their education, I hope to pay for a good portion but I do not feel obligated to do so. I won't allow myself to avoid necessary savings for retirement to fund my kids college.

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paying for as much of your child's higher education costs as you can is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

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I respectfully disagree that it is one the greatest gifts. I believe those are taught earlier in life, things like respect, hard work and that no one in life owes you anything. Let me be clear, my children (who are 8 and 6 now) will be much more prepared for life after high school than I was, both mentally and financially. Neither of my parents had graduated college at the time and did not put much emphasis on it a degree. I simply went to college because I really did not know what else to do and that is what some of my friends did.

Financially, I probably had less than $1000 in the bank in 1990. My kids will certainly have a lot more than that and probably already have more than most Americans do saved up.

I am also doing things like paying for Spainish language tutoring twice a week as well as having wife (who is from Mexico) speak to them almost exclusively in Spainish. The goal is for them to be fully literate (read, write and speak) in both languages.

Yeesh, such sensitivity.

I know there are plenty of people who live near me that have both parents working and the kids will go days without seeing their parents. It's like they had kids just so they could play dress up and post Facebook pictures. I know there are a million different stories of success/failure out there on both sides.

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My wife is the breadwinner (by definition) She makes roughly 60% of our combined income and is on the fast track at a major oil/gas company. She has brought up the idea of her (or less likely me) staying home with the kid if/when it happens, but it would be tricky for us financially.

Right now she is hesitant on even having a kid, so we'll cross that bridge as we get closer to age 32 unless the master planner upstairs decides to throw a wrench into our plans anyway.

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I mean this more of a general thought, than your specific situation...however if you want the family, have the family.

I am not saying put yourself in financial ruin, but no "better financial position" is worth potentially missing our on kids if you want them. You never know - it may take you sometime to get pregnant, or risk factors might not allow you to have kids upwards to 40.

Eh, not worth it. I can respect your opinion AFarmer, and think many children today would benefit from a parent with that opinion. I just think that for the right kid and the right family, keeping your child out of student loan debt while ensuring your own financial health is one of the best things a parent can do.

[This message has been edited by Natasha Romanoff (edited 7/31/2014 9:57a).]

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I mean this more of a general thought, than your specific situation...however if you want the family, have the family.

I am not saying put yourself in financial ruin, but no "better financial position" is worth potentially missing our on kids if you want them. You never know - it may take you sometime to get pregnant, or risk factors might not allow you to have kids upwards to 40.

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100% agree. The thing I am most excited about is that I will only be 45-46 years old when my oldest graduates college, & hopefully no older than 50 when by the time the next (hopefully two) kiddos finish. That leaves a lot of time to watch them start their families, & even watch my grandkids & possibly great-grandkids grow up.

My dad passing away at 58 yrs old only 9 months after being diagnosed with stage 4 terminal brain cancer (completely random) also proved to me that your entire life can turn upside down in the matter of seconds.

Natasha