I feel like Miar has to die. And what happened to the luke tie in and Obiwan having to keep the empire from finding out?
7nine
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Ooooh. I got it.
Obiwan drops his guard with Miar and lets it slip that Luke is vaders kid. Miar betrays Obiwan and goes to the bounty hunter in hopes that the info will buy her freedom. The bounty hunter of course kills Miar anyways to get both bounties but Obiwan stops him from leaving and kills him before he can alert the empire.
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Working some more on building characters and the bones of the story:
Karst Mekolo, Bothan Bounty Hunter
In a business full of violent cutthroats, Karst is a professional. He's in it for the money, not the thrill of the hunt or the satisfaction of a disintegration. He does his species credit in his methodical process and the fact that he observes things that others overlook. It has made him very good at his job.
Karst operates under license from the Black Sun, one of the largest criminal syndicates in the Galaxy, and an organization that often deals with the Empire. He was also a favorite agent of Lord Tion, an Imperial noble and commodore who patrolled parts of the Outer Rim in his flagship, the Devastator.
It is Karst who discerns that there is something afoot other than smuggling on the Nova Ruby, and becomes suspicious of Miar. Suspicious enough to follow her when she leaves the ship to seek alternative transportation home when the yacht is impounded.
General Plot Outline
- Open with an establishing montage of Kenobi, going about his daily life. No lines spoken let the music say it all. These are daily chores and mindless work. He harvests black melons in the desert for water. He closes off windows against an approaching sandstorm. He takes cover to avoid passing Tusken. He checks traps and pulls out desert rodents that he uses for food. He trudges on foot to Anchorhead/Toshi Station to barter for supplies. Finish montage with Kenobi settling down at a table in this alien place, looking around carefully before realizing that nobody even cares he's there. He calls over a waiter. Last lingering shot as he looks really depressed and alone.
- Next sequence needs to establish Miar and her journey on the Nova Ruby, but also needs to be an action sequence. Maybe a raid by Imperials, or Imperial-hired mercenaries, as it turns out that the captain of the Ruby has been smuggling on the side and drawn undue attention. When the authorities in question search the computer's records for evidence of the smuggling, they note that the personal files of the passengers have been sliced. This isn't what they're looking for, and is dismissed by most, but lingers with one of the mercs our Bothan bounty hunter antagonist.
- The slicing was done, of course, by Miar. She was hacking the transmissions and records of the passengers to turn over to the Rebels for data mining.
Plot Problems
- Kenobi needs a way to get around. How does he get to and from the Lars farm, or to Anchorhead/Mos Eisley to get supplies? Traditionally these things are all written as very far apart. Solution may just need to be that things are relatively close together, at least close enough for a Jedi Master to be able to walk in a couple of days.
Forgot to mention that Karst being Black Sun affords some interesting story opportunities. First, it brings this canon organization into the mainstream for the first time. Second, it further establishes a rival syndicate to the Hutts; after all, if we ever get a film about the Star Wars underworld, the Black Sun would be at the forefront.
Finally, it puts Karst in a bind on Tatooine. He would either have to meet with the Hutts to tell them he is operating in their territory, or else try to operate under their radar. Both have story opportunities. He might even do both... first the latter, then the former.
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So I know this is out of left field, but why not make the main antagonist a rogue darth maul? we know he's alive at the end of the clone wars series and he does have a personal vendetta against Kenobi. Although it appears he will make an appearance in Rebels about 3 years before episode 4, so continuity would be an issue. Still though, it's an interesting thought plot wise, and he was a great bad guy on the big screen.