KENOBI: A STAR WARS STORY

73,510 Views | 444 Replies | Last: 2 yr ago by Brian Earl Spilner
AliasMan02
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
The Clone Wars movie didn't have an opening crawl.
AliasMan02
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Updated character write-ups on Kenobi and his love interest. I still just can't bring myself to make her a Tatooine native. I agree with others that it seems a little forced (so to speak). I haven't worked out exactly how she ends up stuck on Tatooine, but I think it is either that she is trying to put out feelers for unrest, or more likely she is in danger of getting "made" as a spy and is trying to flee some Hutt bounty hunters while protecting her cover.

In any case, my writing philosophy is that getting the characters right is paramount. A story can grow organically from there.

I'll edit my last version of this so as not to flood the board with walls of text.

Star Wars: Kenobi

"DARK TIMES have engulfed the galaxy. The Republic is gone, and for eight years the invincible Galactic Empire has ruled the stars.

The heroic Jedi have been hunted to the point of extinction by the agents of the DARK SIDE. Obi-Wan Kenobi fears he may be all that remains. The future is uncertain.

In hiding on Tatooine, Obi-Wan Kenobi carries out his final mission, watching over a child who may be the last chance for freedom in the galaxy"


Ben Kenobi

"I don't know if I can carry this burden alone."
- Ben to the spirit of Qui-Gon Jinn

It has been eight years since the sun set on the Republic. In its place stands the evil Galactic Empire. Obi-Wan Kenobi, legendary general and Jedi Master, hides away from politics and conflict on the desert planet of Tatooine. Under the alias of Ben Kenobi, he keeps watch over young Luke Skywalker from a distance, allowing him to grow up under the care of Owen Lars, Luke's uncle.

Kenobi knows that he may well be the last Jedi alive. Once renowned for his wit and charm, he is now defined by isolation and guilt. He was in many ways the unwitting architect of the demise of the Order as well as the Republic, and the rise of the Sith.

Ben focuses on his mission to keep Luke safe, but not out of loyalty to his mission or to the now-dead Jedi. Watching over the boy is his penance. He harbors no real hope that the light of the Jedi will ever again shine on the galaxy, and wonders if he is even really still a Jedi, himself. Is there such thing as an Order with only a single adherent?

Ben wears some of the trappings of his old life, but in other ways has adopted the practical dress of desert peoples. He dresses simpler, wearing a basic white tunic and pants, but no boots. He wears his brown hooded cloak as a guard against the sun and for secrecy when needed. His beard is unkempt and starting to gray. He carries no weapons, not even his lightsaber.

When we first meet him at the beginning of the film, he is reticent and rough-mannered. He is accustomed to being alone. After he begins to find his old sense of adventure, particularly where Miar is involved, he finds his old sharp tongue and wry smile.



Miar Ellahul

"You will go back to the spaceport and book passage off of Tatooine."
"I will do no such thing."
- Ben Kenobi attempting a Mind Trick on Miar

Miar Ellahul is a wealthy Brentaali noble. She is from a lesser house, it's true, but not one without its merits, such as its staunch support of the Emperor. With her marriage to Count Armand, she came into her fortune and strengthened her family's position. "About time" was the murmur at court; Miar and Armand had been betrothed since the end of the Clone Wars, but gone on for 4 long years before making their vows. The Emperor was unable to attend the wedding, but Grand Vizier Mas Amedda attended in his stead.

After four years of blissful marriage, Miar is taking a break from family to embark on a cruise that will visit a number of distant and exotic worlds. There will be strange foods and wines, and observing of indigenous animal and sentient life from the safety of the starship. In her company will be some of the elite of the Core, all her friends and peers. Industrialists and artists and highly-placed Imperial officers make for splendid company on a month-long vacation. When she returns, she will be rested and ready to take up the mantle of being a mother as well as a dutiful wife.

But, Miar is a liar. She has spent the better part of the past eight years perfecting her lies, in the form of shy smiles and polite laughs and comments on how delicious the Juna berry tart is and how she just couldn't eat another bite. For the past three years she has been improving other skills as well, such as how to eavesdrop on a private com transmission, how to properly conceal a holdout blaster under her skirts, and how to throw a punch.

Miar saw the change in the galaxy in the years following the establishment of the New Order. Even the Core became quickly darker, more stark and bleak. Currying favor and playing for social position was always the pastime of the wealthy on Brentaal IV, but now the games were played on an interstellar scale. Her own marriage to a cold and distant Count had been entirely an effort by Armand to win favor with the Emperor, who had always had a soft spot for Miar's family.

Miar never imagined that anything could change, until after making a dangerous comment in the presence of Breha Organa, she was recruited into a fledgling Rebel Network. The furtive, but like-minded people were just beginning to whisper the idea that the Emperor didn't have to rule forever. Since then, she has prepared to act as an agent of the Empire's destruction. Her mission is to continue to live in her orbit, and to watch and listen. In small circles, among friends, even the Imperial elite discuss trade problems, discontent with the Ruling Council, garrison strengths, and the ugly rumors of scandal in high places. The sort of things that the passengers of the Nova Ruby may all have opportunity to let slip on a long cruise. All things that she can report in detail to her mysterious contact, known only as Fulcrum.

It is during this intelligence gathering operation that she finds herself stranded on Tatooine, in danger of being discovered, where she meets Kenobi.


Parallels and complements between the characters:

  • Kenobi is drifting away from his purpose, while Miar is just embracing her cause
  • Kenobi has given up everything for his mission to protect Luke, while Miar has dedicated herself to her own mission, even if that means she'll have no happiness
  • Miar longs for real companionship, but is trapped in a loveless political marriage. Kenobi has vowed to avoid attachment, but finds that his love for Miar is restorative.
  • Kenobi is exiled to a desolate world, while Miar is trapped in a gilded cage.
  • Both ultimately get recruited into the rebellion by House Organa
  • While not discussed in the film, they both actually know Ashoka Tano. Kenobi knows her as Ashoka, but doesn't realize she's involved in the rebellion. Miar knows her only as Fulcrum, with no idea who she is or that she knows Kenobi.

Also, a timeline for how this works out for ages of the relevant characters in the saga:

(edit: see page 11 for an updated timeline)
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Holy sh*t. I'm headed out the door, but will read / follow up later today. Can't wait!

(That graph is amazing, btw.)
powerbelly
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
****ing outstanding
Sex Panther
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Man you guys are incredible
SoulSlaveAG2005
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
BOOM! Charts!



Blue chute for you!
Brian Earl Spilner
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Brian Earl Spilner
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Seriously. You make that movie and it's a hit. It's Star Wars meets Titanic meets a sweeping historical epic meets a ton of other ****.

Fantastic.
3 William 56
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
AliasMan02
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Starting to work up the antagonist, who I view as being a Hutt lieutenant or bounty hunter. Also, should be an alien. Because it needs to be a character with significant screen time and little to no CGI, it limits options a bit.

What do we like?

Pantorans are already canon, and from the Outer Rim. They were featured a bit in The Clone Wars, and appeared in Episode III. Haven't really seen too much of them, so it would be fresh. They have an obscure Legends tie to the Hutts.


Kallerans are canon, but still obscure. It has no Legends history at all, just recently introduced in the Kanan comic. They're another Outer Rim race, but maybe too alien.


Nikto are a canon desert-acclimated race that was originally introduced in Jedi and has a tie to Jabba. Might be too much makeup.


Zygerrians are a canon race that are traditionally slavers. They're from the Outer Rim. They are featured mostly in The Clone Wars, but have been something of a staple for at least mention in the new canon (Aftermath, Tarkin, All Creatures Great and Small). Might be too cat-like, which makes them sort of stereotypical.


Klatooinians are another race introduced in Jedi. They have almost no canon history.


Of course, we could always go with a new race, but that's tough. It takes a very special kind of weird for a Star Wars race to be convincing, and it really needs to originate with a concept artist.
tx1c
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I was concerned that you mention that Ben believes he may be the last Jedi even though he instructs Luke to visit Yod? Then I realized that that doesn't occur until after Vader strikes him down.
AliasMan02
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
quote:
I was concerned that you mention that Ben believes he may be the last Jedi even though he instructs Luke to visit Yod? Then I realized that that doesn't occur until after Vader strikes him down.
I just think he doesn't know for sure, especially if his connection with the Force isn't as strong as it could be. The doubt is all that really matters.
Quad Dog
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
quote:
quote:
I was concerned that you mention that Ben believes he may be the last Jedi even though he instructs Luke to visit Yod? Then I realized that that doesn't occur until after Vader strikes him down.
I just think he doesn't know for sure, especially if his connection with the Force isn't as strong as it could be. The doubt is all that really matters.

That just sparked an interesting idea. What if Kenobi has lost his connection to the force entirely? Either he lost it because of Anakin's betrayal and their fight our he is suppressing it entirely out of fear of discovery from emperor and Vader. If I remember correctly Kenobi doesn't use many powers in ANH besides lightsaber and mind trick.
This movie could then be his struggle to find his connection again, our to learn to live without powers. Maybe he goes the full movie with only lightsaber until very end where he uses the force again seeing up a sequel.
AliasMan02
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Definitely an interesting angle, but we already know from other sources that he still has his powers. I do think he could struggle a bit, though.

Also, if in this story Kenobi is the retired gunslinger/lawman being pulled back into the fray, the archetype sorta calls for him to still "have it." He could be rusty, however, and find that his love for Miar strengthens his connection to the Force in a way he didn't expect.
jabberwalkie09
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Pantorans would be cool because outside of TCW, they mostly just appeared in the background of the films IIRC and as a bonus drawing on their EU connection to the Hutts would be a nice nod to fans of the EU if done well.

Though, I do like the idea of Kallerans because it reminds me of Bossk and I think you could really run with a bounty hunter angle with that IMO.
fig96
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Well, I've just killed a good hour and a half reading all this Wish I'd seen it earlier.

Overall, great stuff. As I read through this I started getting hints of Firefly. Space western, totalitarian regime searching for a certain individual, hero who just tries to stay out of their way and not be noticed while he does his thing.

I like the direction of the pilot/fledgling Rebel as the love interest and think that has a ton of potential. The Hutts' role in this is something I find really interesting, and I'm not sure if they should be the actual antagonists of the story or play a more unlikely ally kind of role. They know of his existence and would seem to have some kind of understanding of who he is, so we need a reason that Jabba can't just give him up to the Empire.

What if the conflict involved some minor arm of the Empire trying to take over a Hutt operation on Tattooine? It's not an important enough planet for them to send anyone critical, and it would be easy to involve some bounty hunter working for one side or the other (or both) that starts to get a hint of who Obi-Wan may be. The love interest could be called back to Tattooine because it involves some aspect of her family's business, while Obi-Wan has to get involved to make sure the Empire doesn't get too close to Luke. The conflict comes to a head and the Empire decides this small piece of business isn't worth the trouble, and in the climax Obi-Wan or love interest kills off the possible informant and love interest sees the entire event as the reason she needs to join the Rebellion.

We know that in Ep IV the Empire has a presence on Tattooine, by that point it could be some sort of agreement that allows the Hutts to control their own operations.
powerbelly
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I think a Bothan would make an interesting antagonist.
chris1515
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Interesting thread for sure.

What if Obi Wan's love interest is in peril, but when she realizes he is a Jedi (she, and everyone else for that matter, thought they were all extinct), and she sacrifices herself to save him and says he is too important for the fate of humanity. Maybe he is in a position to rescue her but only if he uses powers that would reveal him as a Jedi, and she can't let that happen...and he knows she is right and lets her do it.

Hopefully this doesn't derail the focus here, and I don't know how much of this story already exists in various forms, but I would like to see an origin story for Yoda. He's been training Jedi for 800 years...was he the first Jedi?
AliasMan02
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Good thought. I guess an antagonist with fur wouldn't be too tough.
AliasMan02
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I think we want Kenobi's love interest to live so she is Rey's potential grandmother.

Yoda has been around a long time, but the Jedi have been around for 10,000 years or so.
Brian Earl Spilner
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Has TCTTS abandoned us?

TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG


I haven't! I've been reading everything - this is all AMAZING - I've just been absolutely swamped the past few days. Heading to the Sundance Film Festival next week and have had to prep a ton of material (pitch decks for projects, our current slate, website, etc.). I see a light at the end of the tunnel though and HOPE to respond with a big deep dive later today...
Brian Earl Spilner
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Any new stories for the Focus thread? Hit any of the afterparties last night?
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Ha, I stayed away from all the Golden Globes hoopla last night. That said, save for networking and meetings, my number one goal next week is to acquire more Focus thread-worthy material...
jabberwalkie09
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Malachi Constant
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I really need to watch There Will Be Blood again
OnlyForNow
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
"I have to head to sun dance next weekend," you're life is so hard bud! We feel ya.

Do some good
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Ok, so I finally seem to be caught up on everything I've had to do the past few days. Also, I just went through my schedule, and for the next week or so, I should be able to devote an hour or so a day to this. In that time, I'll start typing up an outline of what we have so far, what questions still need answering, etc. It may be a couple of days before that's posted, and I'll basically be off the grid during the second half of next week due to Sundance, but I feel like after that, I should be able to get in a rhythm of being able to work on this for at least half an hour everyday, if not more - "this" being a true, hyper-detailed outline. Then, once that's finished (in a couple of months, maybe less?), I'll see where we are overall, and then make the call as to whether it's worth devoting real time to actually writing (which I definitely think it will be). That said, obviously feel free to continue posting ideas and discussing. Even if I'm not responding, I'm reading every single post, and I truly think we have something special on our hands. It's going to be a long, slow road, but one I'm absolutely looking forward to going down...
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Ha, in my defense, I probably won't see a single movie. This is a business trip all the way. Four days of constant meetings and development, highlighted by the occasional party.
OnlyForNow
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Boo. You should at least get some blow and hookers if your not married.... Just blow I guess if married.

Ala entourage.
Brian Earl Spilner
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Get in an argument with Harvey.
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Funny enough, we might actually have a meeting with him. Two of my producing partners wrote a pilot for him last year, and are in constant communication with his ceative executive. She suggested we meet up with him while we're there to talk figure projects, but who knows if it'll actually happen...
Texas Ag 15
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
This could be epic
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Just saw this posted on Twitter. As I've been saying, THIS is what this movie should look and feel like...

http://imgur.com/a/1kOwJ
TCTTS
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG








 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.