I got my first yellow the other night for a "menacing look" that was considered dissent. No warning. No yelling on my part. Before my yellow, the ref stopped the clock to warn the other coach. The next three fouls go against my team and I say "Don't let him work you like that." Boom, yellow. I know refs have it rough but I'm so tired of the "poor ref" attitude that is pervasive. There are some ****ty people out there but I've seen numerous incidents of refs going on tilt.

Nobody has ever called me "menacing" in my life.

Soccer referees would lose their **** if they had to do baseball.

How about the ref not letting the other coach work him like that instead of just carding everyone.

Mathguy64 said:

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Ghost of Andrew Eaton said:

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I got my first yellow the other night for a "menacing look" that was considered dissent. No warning. No yelling on my part. Before my yellow, the ref stopped the clock to warn the other coach. The next three fouls go against my team and I say "Don't let him work you like that." Boom, yellow. I know refs have it rough but I'm so tired of the "poor ref" attitude that is pervasive. There are some ****ty people out there but I've seen numerous incidents of refs going on tilt.

Nobody has ever called me "menacing" in my life.

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You got it for what you said. You just called the referee a cheat. It was nicely said, but you just accused him/her of bias. If you said it loud enough to have others hear it (like the other coach)...well thats where you went so thats what you can get.

Its dissent. Its not horrible dissent but its dissent.

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He said it was my "menacing look".

And that's not what I implied at all. I've been an official before and coaches can manipulate them. It's human nature.

agsalaska said:

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How about the ref not letting the other coach work him like that instead of just carding everyone.

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Just because I call 3 fouls in a row against you doesnt mean the other coach is working me. It means I calling 3 fouls that I see.

Here is the thing coaches need to get. Dissent is real and its cardable behavior. Its not the end of the world to get a YC. Its the signal that you have reached a limit and to step back. Thats it. You stepped over a line and need to step back. Because you know what comes next.

Every referee has there own tolerance level for it. I have a lot lower level for an assistant coach than a HC. I'll take more from a HC because its their team. The assistant isnt really necessary to continue the game and so they get less rope to play with..

Mathguy64 said:

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You got it for what you said. You just called the referee a cheat.

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If he is allowing the other coach to influence his calls, he is a cheat.

agdoc2001 said:

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Mathguy64 said:

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You got it for what you said. You just called the referee a cheat.

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If he is allowing the other coach to influence his calls, he is a cheat.

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I think that's a bit harsh. I don't think he decided to call fouls on us to help the other team, he just got manipulated. The soft fouls stopped after my yellow.

Towards the end of the game, he gave a quick yellow to the other team's goalie for time-wasting. She had the ball in her hands for 10 seconds but it wasn't really time-wasting, in my opinion.

In my opinion, he either had a bad game or just isn't very good.


I did ask the AR what happened on my yellow and he said he thought it was a bit harsh and he thought the other coach got him worked up and he took it out on me.

Ghost of Andrew Eaton said:

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Mathguy64 said:

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Ghost of Andrew Eaton said:

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I got my first yellow the other night for a "menacing look" that was considered dissent. No warning. No yelling on my part. Before my yellow, the ref stopped the clock to warn the other coach. The next three fouls go against my team and I say "Don't let him work you like that." Boom, yellow. I know refs have it rough but I'm so tired of the "poor ref" attitude that is pervasive. There are some ****ty people out there but I've seen numerous incidents of refs going on tilt.

Nobody has ever called me "menacing" in my life.

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You got it for what you said. You just called the referee a cheat. It was nicely said, but you just accused him/her of bias. If you said it loud enough to have others hear it (like the other coach)...well thats where you went so thats what you can get.

Its dissent. Its not horrible dissent but its dissent.

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He said it was my "menacing look".

And that's not what I implied at all. I've been an official before and coaches can manipulate them. It's human nature.

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It's also been a long season. At this point in the season, teams may have played 25 or 30 games. Referees may have reffed 100-150 games and they've heard a lot of whining from anybody and everybody. Just like teams carry over things from the last game, it happens to officials to. I'm not saying its right or wrong, but at the end of a freezing cold season where you're the enemy for 2 games every night, any kind of look can become menacing and any kind of flippant statement can become dissent.

I haven't done that many games, but this time of the season is incredibly difficult. Tuesday night I had the top team in district vs. a bottom team. I had no idea of the standings and didn't care cuz its not the referee's job to officiate the standings, but to officiate that game. Well, the mission was different for the top team than it was for the bottom team so the fouls were different and the cards were different. The top team's coach called me over in the 2nd half and said "they're trying to hurt my players". I responded by saying "I know and I've already called about 15 more fouls in this game than normal. But remember, I can only call a foul after it's happened."

Was he manipulating me? He was probably trying to. Did it work? Maybe the opposing coach thought so. Either way, we kept playing. And its a good thing he read between the lines and started subbing his starters out soon after that. It's not just on the refs to manage a game properly. Sometimes the coaches have to do it too.

Mathguy64 said:

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agsalaska said:

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How about the ref not letting the other coach work him like that instead of just carding everyone.

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Just because I call 3 fouls in a row against you doesnt mean the other coach is working me. It means I calling 3 fouls that I see.

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Except in this case it sounds like the ref got worked. I know that may be hard for you to believe but it happens. A LOT.

jeffk said:

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The next time I meet a JV coach that admits they went overboard and got a card they deserved will be the first.

~former JV soccer coach

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In a past life, I'm in total agreement. But I'm too old for that **** anymore.

Unfortunately, I'm no longer just the JV coach. I ended up with a mid-season promotion that I didn't want.

agsalaska said:

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Mathguy64 said:

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agsalaska said:

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How about the ref not letting the other coach work him like that instead of just carding everyone.

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Just because I call 3 fouls in a row against you doesnt mean the other coach is working me. It means I calling 3 fouls that I see.

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Except in this case it sounds like the ref got worked. I know that may be hard for you to believe but it happens. A LOT.

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Coaches are always trying to work refs. It's their job. And yes referees aren't immune from it. It can be hard. Constantly getting ridden by a coach can make you start to doubt yourself. And that's why it's important to shut stuff down. Maybe a better way to handle it is tell that coach something like "Coach, you already heard me warn the other guy. This is yours." Now everyone has had a warning. Not that warnings have to be given.

And as jessexy said, by this time of the season people are just plain tired. They are tired of coaches yelling, fans cussing, players cussing at you. You name it. So instead of managing the dissent you just get a fast card.

But I'll stick to my guns. Saying "he's working you" is dissent. There was a better way to say that.

Oh, alright then! Congratulations (?)!

But also my sympathies - that's a tough way to make that leap.

Mathguy64 said:

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agsalaska said:

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Mathguy64 said:

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agsalaska said:

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How about the ref not letting the other coach work him like that instead of just carding everyone.

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Just because I call 3 fouls in a row against you doesnt mean the other coach is working me. It means I calling 3 fouls that I see.

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Except in this case it sounds like the ref got worked. I know that may be hard for you to believe but it happens. A LOT.

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Coaches are always trying to work refs. It's their job. And yes referees aren't immune from it. It can be hard. Constantly getting ridden by a coach can make you start to doubt yourself. And that's why it's important to shut stuff down. Maybe a better way to handle it is tell that coach something like "Coach, you already heard me warn the other guy. This is yours." Now everyone has had a warning. Not that warnings have to be given.

And as jessexy said, by this time of the season people are just plain tired. They are tired of coaches yelling, fans cussing, players cussing at you. You name it. So instead of managing the dissent you just get a fast card.

But I'll stick to my guns. Saying "he's working you" is dissent. There was a better way to say that.

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Unless you are the other coach who got a clock stoppage and verbal warning. And then continued to complain the entire game.

That's on the guy with the whistle. Once warned that should be it. Zip it.

""Leave the refs alone. It doesn't help. It never helps"

Truer words have never been spoken. The coveted blue parachute is awarded.

We had stands cleared twice this season and partially cleared (a group of more than 5) two other times. All for full on obscene abuse that didn't stop. In each case the referees stopped play, got admins and security involved to help calm it down and it didn't. So the game was stopped again and stands emptied.

You want to yell? Go ahead. I'm mostly immune to it. At some point you have to get a thick skin and just focus on the game in front of you. Start cussing me out from the stands and you have crossed a line.

It's getting bad out there and UIL has started to take a stand. Schools are getting held accountable.

We had a referee scream at a girl, "I said put it on the 30!" after she took a free kick about a foot in front of the 50 yard line. He meant, put the ball back a foot to the 50.

She then starts dribbling the ball to the 30, and he blows the whistle and gives her a card.

She's like, WTF. Parents are screaming at the ref for yelling at the kid and giving her a card for doing what he said to do.

He realizes his mistake, and waves off the card.

Let's just say the rest of the game didn't go well for him. People calmed down, but a few people kept heckling him, " Put it on the 30" before every kick.

My thoughts, at mid field and the free kick was just a pass, what's the point of stopping it? Why scream at the girl because she didn't do what he said, when what he said didn't make sense to her.

Parents got excited after he screamed at the player. They calmed down though. The heckling was funny though.

Refs, how would you respond?

The 30 behind or the 30 in front? Massive difference

Just tell her "Come on. The 30 not the 50". And then I get to the drop zone. It's a management issue. As long as it's not obviously time wasting at the end of a tight game just move on from it.

When a player tries to take a throw in way down from the actual spot I usually make a comment along the lines "I'll let you cheat a little bit that is a lot." I say it with a smile. It usually gets a laugh from everyone around and it solves the problem the rest of the match.

bigjag19 said:

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The 30 behind or the 30 in front? Massive difference

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He meant 50.

Mathguy64 said:

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Just tell her "Come on. The 30 not the 50". And then I get to the drop zone. It's a management issue. As long as it's not obviously time wasting at the end of a tight game just move on from it.

When a player tries to take a throw in way down from the actual spot I usually make a comment along the lines "I'll let you cheat a little bit that is a lot." I say it with a smile. It usually gets a laugh from everyone around and it solves the problem the rest of the match.

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He meant the 50 and not the 30 and carded her for going to the 30 after he yelled at her for not going to the 30.

jessexy said:

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BTW, this made me chuckle. The ref tossed a teacher from the stands about 12 minutes into the game. They'd just finished the Teacher Appreciation Night ceremony in between games where the teacher was one of those honored on the field.

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This is incredible. I wish I worked at the school where this happened. The ways to tease the teacher about this over the next several years are literally endless.

Wave off the card, apologize to the kid, keep doing my job, and ignore the fans like I always do.

jeffk said:

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Wave off the card, apologize to the kid, keep doing my job, and ignore the fans like I always do.

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Do you feel him having her move the ball back a foot when she was just passing it to a teammate at mid field is trifling?

Once the whistle is blown, it's blown. He probably wished he'd just let it go. (I wouldn't have been that picky probably.)

Not screaming at players is part 1.

Not high school related but this seems to be the kids soccer thread.

We just got notice our games against Solar got cancelled this weekend. It shows 1.45" in the last 24 hours at UT Dallas, nothing but sun all today and perfect weather all weekend. Man I frickin hate UT Dallas. A squirrel pisses on their fields and they shut it down.

Just had to vent.

Jim01 said:

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Not high school related but this seems to be the kids soccer thread.

We just got notice our games against Solar got cancelled this weekend. It shows 1.45" in the last 24 hours at UT Dallas, nothing but sun all today and perfect weather all weekend. Man I frickin hate UT Dallas. A squirrel pisses on their fields and they shut it down.

Just had to vent.

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Dude, i spit on the field once at UTD and they cancelled the rest of the games for the season.

Funny thing is, the hardest game for us to get in is against Albion. You'd think we could get a midweek game in anytime. So many cancellations

Refs are human too. I was assigned the whistle on one of the bigger 6A Boys playoff games tomorrow night. I gave it back so I can go to my daughter's playoff game instead. Both games were scheduled at the same time.

Down goes Allen in the first round.