Are prenuptial agreements needed for every marriage?

16,501 Views | 263 Replies | Last: 10 mo ago by Stat Monitor Repairman
Infection_Ag11
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Tom Fox said:

Infection_Ag11 said:

Tom Fox said:

13B said:

annie88 said:

BusterAg said:

Stat Monitor Repairman said:

Quote:

Don't marry crazy people

Some people are sane at 23, and go bat**** crazy around 45 when certain hormone changes kick in, and start making really bad decisions.

I think that no-fault divorce is terrible.

If I were a man in his 20's right now, I would not get married without making it impossible to file for a no-fault divorce.


So you think it's only women that go for a no fault divorce that men are never using that angle? Really? You don't think men go through a midlife crisis? Good grief.
I'm not saying that men don't BUT in my experience and observation over the past 30 years, predominately, it is the woman that initiates and the man gets blamed.I am certain there are some cases where the husband is abusive or unfaithful but the majority of the examples I have seen and/or experienced is where the man is trucking along thinking he's doing the right thing and everything is good to having his heart ripped out of his chest by a harpy. I realize nothing happens in a vacuum but many men don't realize they are in the crosshairs.


College educated women initiate the divorce 90% of the time. Think about that.


About 70% of divorces are initiated by women, and the number of college educated women who initiate divorce obviously much be lower than that by statistical necessity. But that number also isn't really representative of much, as it's well recognized that men just generally don't file for divorce regardless of how bad a marriage is or who is at fault. Men will stay in awful situations much longer than women, especially ones they themselves create.


Men are more likely to be perseverant and honor their commitment when things get tough? You don't say?


Men are much more likely to be lazy and not take the initiative to do something both parties recognize is inevitable.

Quote:

And it my lifetime, generally the smarter and more driven a man is the more likely they are to do so. Women appear to be the opposite.


IQ and both divorce/infidelity are inversely proportional in men, yes

Quote:

It is a fundamental character flaw with women.


In some women, but it's as much about initiative as anything else. Men are procrastinators, more averse to change and have more to lose in divorce. Because of that who files the paperwork more often really isn't overly representative of fault. In literally every reason for divorce, women are more likely to file. When women cheat, women file for divorce. When men cheat, women file for divorce. When husband abuses wife, women file for divorce. When wife abuses husband, women file for divorce.

And arguing a man cheating on or beating his wife is more committed just because he doesn't file for divorce is uh…certainly a take
Tom Fox
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The overwhelming majority of those divorce filing are no fault. Nobody is saying they should not file for adultery, abandonment, or physical abuse.

I am 50 now, those divorced for the above are a tiny subset of divorces, most leave because they are unhappy and unwilling to honor their commitment. Period. Men will stay put.

I can always count of you to argue absurdity. No one is staying an at fault divorce is an issue. We are discussing irreconcilable differences divorces. The only "fault" that matter is those 3.
Infection_Ag11
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Quote:

The overwhelming majority of those divorce filing are no fault.


The overwhelming majority of divorces involving infidelity are filed as no fault divorces. About 40% of cases involving reported physical abuse are filed as no fault. The fact that a divorce is filed as no fault is virtually irrelevant with respect to your point here

Quote:

I am 50 now, those divorced for the above are a tiny subset of divorces, most leave because they are unhappy and unwilling to honor their commitment. Period. Men will stay put.



It seems that the issue is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the disconnect between the legal paperwork and reality of divorce. You seem to be under the impression that a no fault divorce never involves any of the issues you make exceptions for, when based on some data THE MAJORITY do. And that's not even factoring in the reality that financial abandonment is a very vague claim when it comes to divorce proceedings.
stick95
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I've been with a lot of women, most of them didn't have faith, and were a little crazy. I've been married twice. The first one didn't have faith, nor did I. It was a marriage of two people just serving their own needs. I'll let you guess how it went. My current wife loves Jesus even more than she loves me, and we have an amazing marriage.

As a 53 year old man that has lived some life, for you young guys…. That should be the absolute #1 criteria. Marry a woman the loves Jesus.

Then you don't have to worry about a prenup.
Infection_Ag11
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stick95 said:

I've been with a lot of women, most of them didn't have faith, and were a little crazy. I've been married twice. The first one didn't have faith, nor did I. It was a marriage of two people just serving their own needs. I'll let you guess how it went. My current wife loves Jesus even more than she loves me, and we have an amazing marriage.

As a 53 year old man that has lived some life, for you young guys…. That should be the absolute #1 criteria. Marry a woman the loves Jesus.

Then you don't have to worry about a prenup.


Worldview in general is the important thing

Practicing Christians should marry practicing Christians

Practicing Muslims should marry practicing Muslims

Practicing Jews should marry practicing Jews

People with strong opinions against religion should at worst marry someone who is indifferent on the topic

Anything else is asking for trouble and setting you up for failure. You just can't overcome serious conflict about things like "how to raise our child so they don't go to hell". And a huge part of the issue when it comes to divorce is that people, especially men, ignore these issues early on because of physical/emotional attraction.

I'm in my late 30s and don't know anyone my age or older married >5 years that doesn't share at least basic religious beliefs with their spouse. EVERYONE I know like that who ever got married is divorced.
Infection_Ag11
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FrioAg 00 said:

When my wife and I got married, our collective net worth was probably about $2000, and that was money she save in college being a nanny. We used it to buy all the furniture for our first apartment, about 500 sqft.

There is something extremely valuable about starting a relationship with nothing material.





Agreed, a huge issue is people are waiting too long to get married and have kids. If you are independently wealthy by the time you get married, with unique exceptions, you waited too long and probably at least a decade too long.

My wife and lived in a tiny apartment on a single teachers salary and had one old car for three years, and then entirely on student financial aid for one year with a kid, while in med school. We had six figure negative net worth. And our entire marriage is built on the foundation developed during those years.
Tom Fox
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Infection_Ag11 said:

Quote:

The overwhelming majority of those divorce filing are no fault.


The overwhelming majority of divorces involving infidelity are filed as no fault divorces. About 40% of cases involving reported physical abuse are filed as no fault. The fact that a divorce is filed as no fault is virtually irrelevant with respect to your point here

Quote:

I am 50 now, those divorced for the above are a tiny subset of divorces, most leave because they are unhappy and unwilling to honor their commitment. Period. Men will stay put.



It seems that the issue is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the disconnect between the legal paperwork and reality of divorce. You seem to be under the impression that a no fault divorce never involves any of the issues you make exceptions for, when based on some data THE MAJORITY do. And that's not even factoring in the reality that financial abandonment is a very vague claim when it comes to divorce proceedings.


I am a lawyer and believe that you should have to prove something not just make a claim.

Apparently you think filling out a survey is sufficient proof. I do not.

No vault divorce is a recent mistake essentially only since the 1970s after the women's lib movement.

If you have to prove fault or get an inequitable distribution of assets divorce rates among the intelligent will drastically fall. And order will be restored to marriages.
stick95
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Infection_Ag11 said:

stick95 said:

I've been with a lot of women, most of them didn't have faith, and were a little crazy. I've been married twice. The first one didn't have faith, nor did I. It was a marriage of two people just serving their own needs. I'll let you guess how it went. My current wife loves Jesus even more than she loves me, and we have an amazing marriage.

As a 53 year old man that has lived some life, for you young guys…. That should be the absolute #1 criteria. Marry a woman the loves Jesus.

Then you don't have to worry about a prenup.


Worldview in general is the important thing

Practicing Christians should marry practicing Christians

Practicing Muslims should marry practicing Muslims

Practicing Jews should marry practicing Jews

People with strong opinions against religion should at worst marry someone who is indifferent on the topic

Anything else is asking for trouble and setting you up for failure. You just can't overcome serious conflict about things like "how to raise our child so they don't go to hell". And a huge part of the issue when it comes to divorce is that people, especially men, ignore these issues early on because of physical/emotional attraction.

I'm in my late 30s and don't know anyone my age or older married >5 years that doesn't share at least basic religious beliefs with their spouse. EVERYONE I know like that who ever got married is divorced.

I agree with you about cross religion, I don't know how that ever works. But it is my belief that people that have found salvation through grace, mercy and love instead of by their own works and efforts treat their spouses (and kids) with grace, mercy and love. Those are the couples that make it in my experience.
Infection_Ag11
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Tom Fox said:

Infection_Ag11 said:

Quote:

The overwhelming majority of those divorce filing are no fault.


The overwhelming majority of divorces involving infidelity are filed as no fault divorces. About 40% of cases involving reported physical abuse are filed as no fault. The fact that a divorce is filed as no fault is virtually irrelevant with respect to your point here

Quote:

I am 50 now, those divorced for the above are a tiny subset of divorces, most leave because they are unhappy and unwilling to honor their commitment. Period. Men will stay put.



It seems that the issue is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the disconnect between the legal paperwork and reality of divorce. You seem to be under the impression that a no fault divorce never involves any of the issues you make exceptions for, when based on some data THE MAJORITY do. And that's not even factoring in the reality that financial abandonment is a very vague claim when it comes to divorce proceedings.


I am a lawyer and believe that you should have to prove something not just make a claim.

Apparently you think filling out a survey is sufficient proof. I do not.

No vault divorce is a recent mistake essentially only since the 1970s after the women's lib movement.

If you have to prove fault or get an inequitable distribution of assets divorce rates among the intelligent will drastically fall. And order will be restored to marriages.


I'm not disputing the issue with no fault divorce, I'm simply pointing out that my position at least has some evidentiary support flimsy as it may be. Your claim is entirely subjective perception and assumption.
newbie11
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stick95 said:

Infection_Ag11 said:

stick95 said:

I've been with a lot of women, most of them didn't have faith, and were a little crazy. I've been married twice. The first one didn't have faith, nor did I. It was a marriage of two people just serving their own needs. I'll let you guess how it went. My current wife loves Jesus even more than she loves me, and we have an amazing marriage.

As a 53 year old man that has lived some life, for you young guys…. That should be the absolute #1 criteria. Marry a woman the loves Jesus.

Then you don't have to worry about a prenup.


Worldview in general is the important thing

Practicing Christians should marry practicing Christians

Practicing Muslims should marry practicing Muslims

Practicing Jews should marry practicing Jews

People with strong opinions against religion should at worst marry someone who is indifferent on the topic

Anything else is asking for trouble and setting you up for failure. You just can't overcome serious conflict about things like "how to raise our child so they don't go to hell". And a huge part of the issue when it comes to divorce is that people, especially men, ignore these issues early on because of physical/emotional attraction.

I'm in my late 30s and don't know anyone my age or older married >5 years that doesn't share at least basic religious beliefs with their spouse. EVERYONE I know like that who ever got married is divorced.

I agree with you about cross religion, I don't know how that ever works. But it is my belief that people that have found salvation through grace, mercy and love instead of by their own works and efforts treat their spouses (and kids) with grace, mercy and love. Those are the couples that make it in my experience.
I married a woman who supposedly loved Jesus (raised Christian, attended church every week) then after about 10 years she left the church and became a new age spiritualist. There's no guarantee just because you marry a Christian that he/she will remain one.
BMX Bandit
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Quote:

There's no guarantee just because you marry a Christian that he/she will remain one.


But your odds are much much higher that your wife will be a Christian in 10 years if she one at the time you were married versus not being one at time of marriage
Tom Fox
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Infection_Ag11 said:

Tom Fox said:

Infection_Ag11 said:

Quote:

The overwhelming majority of those divorce filing are no fault.


The overwhelming majority of divorces involving infidelity are filed as no fault divorces. About 40% of cases involving reported physical abuse are filed as no fault. The fact that a divorce is filed as no fault is virtually irrelevant with respect to your point here

Quote:

I am 50 now, those divorced for the above are a tiny subset of divorces, most leave because they are unhappy and unwilling to honor their commitment. Period. Men will stay put.



It seems that the issue is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the disconnect between the legal paperwork and reality of divorce. You seem to be under the impression that a no fault divorce never involves any of the issues you make exceptions for, when based on some data THE MAJORITY do. And that's not even factoring in the reality that financial abandonment is a very vague claim when it comes to divorce proceedings.


I am a lawyer and believe that you should have to prove something not just make a claim.

Apparently you think filling out a survey is sufficient proof. I do not.

No vault divorce is a recent mistake essentially only since the 1970s after the women's lib movement.

If you have to prove fault or get an inequitable distribution of assets divorce rates among the intelligent will drastically fall. And order will be restored to marriages.


I'm not disputing the issue with no fault divorce, I'm simply pointing out that my position at least has some evidentiary support flimsy as it may be. Your claim is entirely subjective perception and assumption.


Well I interact with family attorneys on the daily. One of my law partners is married to one in the biggest family firm in our town.

And I have read enough divorce petitions. Try finding one without the word narcissist. There are only so many actual narcissists in the world.

No fault divorce is the issue and it is over-utilized by females that have a structural advantage in the family court system. End of discussion.
stick95
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newbie11 said:

stick95 said:

Infection_Ag11 said:

stick95 said:

I've been with a lot of women, most of them didn't have faith, and were a little crazy. I've been married twice. The first one didn't have faith, nor did I. It was a marriage of two people just serving their own needs. I'll let you guess how it went. My current wife loves Jesus even more than she loves me, and we have an amazing marriage.

As a 53 year old man that has lived some life, for you young guys…. That should be the absolute #1 criteria. Marry a woman the loves Jesus.

Then you don't have to worry about a prenup.


Worldview in general is the important thing

Practicing Christians should marry practicing Christians

Practicing Muslims should marry practicing Muslims

Practicing Jews should marry practicing Jews

People with strong opinions against religion should at worst marry someone who is indifferent on the topic

Anything else is asking for trouble and setting you up for failure. You just can't overcome serious conflict about things like "how to raise our child so they don't go to hell". And a huge part of the issue when it comes to divorce is that people, especially men, ignore these issues early on because of physical/emotional attraction.

I'm in my late 30s and don't know anyone my age or older married >5 years that doesn't share at least basic religious beliefs with their spouse. EVERYONE I know like that who ever got married is divorced.

I agree with you about cross religion, I don't know how that ever works. But it is my belief that people that have found salvation through grace, mercy and love instead of by their own works and efforts treat their spouses (and kids) with grace, mercy and love. Those are the couples that make it in my experience.
I married a woman who supposedly loved Jesus (raised Christian, attended church every week) then after about 10 years she left the church and became a new age spiritualist. There's no guarantee just because you marry a Christian that he/she will remain one.
I'm sorry that happened. That sucks when someone doesn't follow their faith. People calling themselves Christians and then not living that out gets under my skin, I have to pray about it a lot. Being raised in a church and going to a Christian church every week does not make you a lover and follower of Jesus.

You have to die to your selfish desires and put Him first every day. Then out of the outflow of His spirit you love others (especially your spouse). Jesus followers pray to Him, study His word daily and then obey His commandments. Out of that you bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control. Sounds like everything that a marriage should be built on, right?

I can attest it all sounds very hokey when you don't really know anything about Jesus, at least, it did to me. But I can tell you as a personal witness, it's a game changer.
CanyonAg77
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Infection_Ag11
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Tom Fox said:

Infection_Ag11 said:

Tom Fox said:

Infection_Ag11 said:

Quote:

The overwhelming majority of those divorce filing are no fault.


The overwhelming majority of divorces involving infidelity are filed as no fault divorces. About 40% of cases involving reported physical abuse are filed as no fault. The fact that a divorce is filed as no fault is virtually irrelevant with respect to your point here

Quote:

I am 50 now, those divorced for the above are a tiny subset of divorces, most leave because they are unhappy and unwilling to honor their commitment. Period. Men will stay put.



It seems that the issue is that you have a fundamental misunderstanding of the disconnect between the legal paperwork and reality of divorce. You seem to be under the impression that a no fault divorce never involves any of the issues you make exceptions for, when based on some data THE MAJORITY do. And that's not even factoring in the reality that financial abandonment is a very vague claim when it comes to divorce proceedings.


I am a lawyer and believe that you should have to prove something not just make a claim.

Apparently you think filling out a survey is sufficient proof. I do not.

No vault divorce is a recent mistake essentially only since the 1970s after the women's lib movement.

If you have to prove fault or get an inequitable distribution of assets divorce rates among the intelligent will drastically fall. And order will be restored to marriages.


I'm not disputing the issue with no fault divorce, I'm simply pointing out that my position at least has some evidentiary support flimsy as it may be. Your claim is entirely subjective perception and assumption.


Well I interact with family attorneys on the daily. One of my law partners is married to one in the biggest family firm in our town.

And I have read enough divorce petitions. Try finding one without the word narcissist. There are only so many actual narcissists in the world.

No fault divorce is the issue and it is over-utilized by females that have a structural advantage in the family court system. End of discussion.


On the flip side, rates of spousal and child abuse plummeted largely due to no fault divorce. So while the potential for abuse of the system is very real, it's a reality that it offers an easier path out of very bad/dangerous relationships that previously could be kept together unilaterally and solely by an abusive individual who hid it well enough that abuse/infidelity claims couldn't be supported.

And again, you're understating how often no fault divorce is used as an easier way out of relationships that are ended by the man and he just doesn't file. A woman is under no obligation to stay with a man who cheats on her and she just can't prove it. That happens literally every day and is entirely on him.
Tom Fox
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I operate in the world of proof. Give it to me or stfu.
Infection_Ag11
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As men we have the luxury of thinking that if we so choose. I think you'd believe differently if you were the weaker sex and in a system where your safety could be entirely subject to the abusive strategy of your spouse.

Hoping your spouse hits you hard enough or cheats on you flagrantly enough to prove it in court isn't an appealing strategy for most. You're essentially arguing for people getting really good at cheating or abuse without leaving a trail. And because experiencing physical abuse from women is essentially voluntary for men, and because men cheat at a 3 to 1 ratio compared to women, that system overwhelmingly benefits men. Almost entirely in fact.
Tom Fox
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Infection_Ag11 said:

As men we have the luxury of thinking that if we so choose. I think you'd believe differently if you were the weaker sex and in a system where your safety could be entirely subject to the abusive strategy of your spouse.

Hoping your spouse hits you hard enough or cheats on you flagrantly enough to prove it in court isn't an appealing strategy for most. You're essentially arguing for people getting really good at cheating or abuse without leaving a trail.


I'm a criminal defense attorney, former cop and prosecutor. I have seen enough bs claims that I want the claim subjected to a standard of proof. Not the whims of some he said she said fantasy.

You know when I most often see fv charges without visible injuries or third party witnesses, by those females with a pending divorce petition.

The women that have visible injuries, 80% of the time they are still with him and filing an affidavit of non prosecution to drop the charges.

Either prove it or get an inequitable distribution. I am not saying they still can't leave, they just can't leave with half of his money.

Women were the primary driver for no fault divorce and are the primary beneficiaries. Happenstance? Go figure.
Proposition Joe
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Explaining away divorce with "They weren't really a Christian" is an absolute cop-out. It's one of a million different convenient ways people will refuse to look in the mirror when a relationship fails.
swimmerbabe11
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this thread:
swimmerbabe11
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It's crazy to me how all the running jokes are about wives knowing the schedule of every baseball practice, soccer fees, bus schedules, book and plan the trips, make sure the passports are up to date, vaccinations, doctors appointments, vet trips, make sure the paperwork is done for everything etc etc etc etc

but then when it comes to filing paperwork to end the marriage, they don't believe that the oftentimes, women also ends up having to do that as well. (regardless of who initiated separation)

I also know multiple women who didn't initiate the separation, but had to chase after the ex to finish the paperwork so that they could get on with their lives. I know multiple women who were cheated on and filed no fault, because it just wasn't worth the extra time/effort/expense and they just wanted to be done with it.

Both genders are equally sinful and broken and there are bad parties on both sides.
Infection_Ag11
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Correct, in many cases women are the ones who file despite the man asking for the divorce. This is often MONTHS after that conversation has happened.

The biggest issue though is simply aversion to change. It is extensively documented in the psychological literature that men will often go to extraordinary lengths to keep a known status quo even if they are miserable. It's why men stereotypically have "side pieces" whereas women stereotypically want to leave their husbands for whoever they have an affair with. There's a lot of biology in play there too (we aren't monogamous by nature and men have a drive to sleep with as many women as possible, whereas women desire the safety and stability of a male and monogamy helps them do that).
Kaiser von Wilhelm
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Tom Fox said:

I operate in the world of proof. Give it to me or stfu.

The science is settled.
swimmerbabe11
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No no, the stereotype of women handling the details stops as soon as the marriage goes south. Once that happens, the husbands magically are adept at scheduling everything on their own. Haven't you read the thread?
Infection_Ag11
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One thing both sexes are guilty of is talking down their spouses in public. I'm routinely shocked by the things guys I know say about their wives to even casual acquaintances. My wife says the same thing about some of her girlfriends.

I would never in a million years share most of that stuff with other people. I'm either praising my wife in public or just not saying anything.
Ol_Ag_02
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swimmerbabe11 said:

It's crazy to me how all the running jokes are about wives knowing the schedule of every baseball practice, soccer fees, bus schedules, book and plan the trips, make sure the passports are up to date, vaccinations, doctors appointments, vet trips, make sure the paperwork is done for everything etc etc etc etc

but then when it comes to filing paperwork to end the marriage, they don't believe that the oftentimes, women also ends up having to do that as well. (regardless of who initiated separation)

I also know multiple women who didn't initiate the separation, but had to chase after the ex to finish the paperwork so that they could get on with their lives. I know multiple women who were cheated on and filed no fault, because it just wasn't worth the extra time/effort/expense and they just wanted to be done with it.

Both genders are equally sinful and broken and there are bad parties on both sides.


There is no extra time/expense/effort to filing fault vs no fault.
Im Gipper
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swimmerbabe11 said:

this thread:



Well played swimmerbabe. Well played.

I'm Gipper
Im Gipper
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Quote:

There is no extra time/expense/effort to filing fault vs no fault.


Can you explain this?

My understanding is that one had to prove fault in one case? And prove nothing in the other?

I'm Gipper
Ags4DaWin
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swimmerbabe11 said:

It's crazy to me how all the running jokes are about wives knowing the schedule of every baseball practice, soccer fees, bus schedules, book and plan the trips, make sure the passports are up to date, vaccinations, doctors appointments, vet trips, make sure the paperwork is done for everything etc etc etc etc

but then when it comes to filing paperwork to end the marriage, they don't believe that the oftentimes, women also ends up having to do that as well. (regardless of who initiated separation)

I also know multiple women who didn't initiate the separation, but had to chase after the ex to finish the paperwork so that they could get on with their lives. I know multiple women who were cheated on and filed no fault, because it just wasn't worth the extra time/effort/expense and they just wanted to be done with it.

Both genders are equally sinful and broken and there are bad parties on both sides.


Swimmer Babe: Hey Guys! Believe me. I know waaay more than any of the studies, experts, or statistics on divorce.

Also Swimmerbabe: Women are filing for divorce becaus men suck. If men would just be better women wouldn't want a divorce.

Also Swimmerbabe: women are only filing for the divorce because men want one....but are too lazy and incompetent to go see a divorce attorney themselves. See how awful and stupid men are!

The only constants in any of your arguments are-

1) you are right because you know more than anyone else.
2) it's always the man's fault.
3) stereotypes are only accurate when they benefit women and paint men as losers.

It's really sad, but ultimately what most women do when they are forced to defend their genders poor choices and selfishness.
swimmerbabe11
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I didn't say... any .. of those things?
Ags4DaWin
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Infection_Ag11 said:

Correct, in many cases women are the ones who file despite the man asking for the divorce. This is often MONTHS after that conversation has happened.

The biggest issue though is simply aversion to change. It is extensively documented in the psychological literature that men will often go to extraordinary lengths to keep a known status quo even if they are miserable. It's why men stereotypically have "side pieces" whereas women stereotypically want to leave their husbands for whoever they have an affair with. There's a lot of biology in play there too (we aren't monogamous by nature and men have a drive to sleep with as many women as possible, whereas women desire the safety and stability of a male and monogamy helps them do that).


Actually women desire different things based on where she is in her cycle.

This is why you don't date ir marry women when they fall in live with you while on birth control....because what she wants when she is on hormonal therapy is NOT what she is going to want after she stops taking it.

They have done multiple studies that show a woman's secual preferences and attraction to men differs based on whether she is on the pill and where she is at in her cycle.

If she is ovulating she prefers square jaw and muscles.

If she is on the pill or approaching her period she prefers femine men.

And it's absolutely false to claim women are more monogamous than men.

18-25% of kids are born to a different father than the husband. We have those stats now that paternity testing is a thing.

We also know from DNA tracing that women slept around ALOT in their evolutionary past because of how mitochondrial DNA can be traced.

Mitochondrial DNA is DNA that is exclusively passed on from mother to child. The father has no genetic contribution to mitochondrial DNA.

In studies of self reporting infidelity women and men report infidelity at roughly the same rates.

However women oftentimes don't view their own infidelity as "cheating" the same way because they typically have a reason for it and excuse it and don't view it in as negative a light.

Don't get it twisted.

Women are just as unfaithful as men.

They have just always been much better at hiding it.
Martin Cash
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Infection_Ag11 said:



On the flip side, rates of spousal and child abuse plummeted largely due to no fault divorce. So while the potential for abuse of the system is very real, it's a reality that it offers an easier path out of very bad/dangerous relationships that previously could be kept together unilaterally and solely by an abusive individual who hid it well enough that abuse/infidelity claims couldn't be supported.

And again, you're understating how often no fault divorce is used as an easier way out of relationships that are ended by the man and he just doesn't file. A woman is under no obligation to stay with a man who cheats on her and she just can't prove it. That happens literally every day and is entirely on him.
43 years of experience as a family law attorney, prosecutor and family/criminal law judge calls BS on this.
Ags4DaWin
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swimmerbabe11 said:

I didn't say... any .. of those things?


You literally just said

but then when it comes to filing paperwork to end the marriage, they don't believe that the oftentimes, women also ends up having to do that as well. (regardless of who initiated separation)

^^women file the paperwork even if it's the man who wants the divorce because men are incapable of doing that themselves^^


I also know multiple women who didn't initiate the separation, but had to chase after the ex to finish the paperwork so that they could get on with their lives.


You said literally THAT in the post I quoted.
swimmerbabe11
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I said "often" . That doesn't mean "every"
Infection_Ag11
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Ags4DaWin said:

Infection_Ag11 said:

Correct, in many cases women are the ones who file despite the man asking for the divorce. This is often MONTHS after that conversation has happened.

The biggest issue though is simply aversion to change. It is extensively documented in the psychological literature that men will often go to extraordinary lengths to keep a known status quo even if they are miserable. It's why men stereotypically have "side pieces" whereas women stereotypically want to leave their husbands for whoever they have an affair with. There's a lot of biology in play there too (we aren't monogamous by nature and men have a drive to sleep with as many women as possible, whereas women desire the safety and stability of a male and monogamy helps them do that).


Actually women desire different things based on where she is in her cycle.

This is why you don't date ir marry women when they fall in live with you while on birth control....because what she wants when she is on hormonal therapy is NOT what she is going to want after she stops taking it.

They have done multiple studies that show a woman's secual preferences and attraction to men differs based on whether she is on the pill and where she is at in her cycle.

If she is ovulating she prefers square jaw and muscles.

If she is on the pill or approaching her period she prefers femine men.

And it's absolutely false to claim women are more monogamous than men.

18-25% of kids are born to a different father than the husband. We have those stats now that paternity testing is a thing.

We also know from DNA tracing that women slept around ALOT in their evolutionary past because of how mitochondrial DNA can be traced.

Mitochondrial DNA is DNA that is exclusively passed on from mother to child. The father has no genetic contribution to mitochondrial DNA.

In studies of self reporting infidelity women and men report infidelity at roughly the same rates.

However women oftentimes don't view their own infidelity as "cheating" the same way because they typically have a reason for it and excuse it and don't view it in as negative a light.

Don't get it twisted.

Women are just as unfaithful as men.

They have just always been much better at hiding it.


That's an impressive amount of falsehood and pseudoscience packed into a single post

I'm genuinely impressed
 
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