I'm trying to figure out what the issue is with no fault divorce. Has some podcaster been criticizing it lately? Texas has had no fault divorce since 1970. Is the theory that just because your spouse wants a divorce, she can't get one because you don't want one? Now you just have to stay married?

She can still get one but with an inequitable distribution of assets.

HookThis said:

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I'm trying to figure out what the issue is with no fault divorce. Has some podcaster been criticizing it lately? Texas has had no fault divorce since 1970. Is the theory that just because your spouse wants a divorce, she can't get one because you don't want one? Now you just have to stay married?

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No. Like Tom said, she can leave, she just can't take half the stuff. Basically, there's an exit fee for breaking the contract. Just like any other business contract.

Kvetch said:

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Depends on the assets you have going into the relationship, but no it is not a requirement.

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Surprised this didn't get more stars. When my wife and I got married we didn't have 2 nickels to rub together shortly after college.

ME92 said:

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TarponChaser said:

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evestor1 said:

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Tanya 93 said:

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I am not arguing for women who sit at home and do nothing.

I specifically mentioned women who work outside the home and then have to come home and do almost everything

You know
Get up at 5 am, throw laundry in the washer, prep something for the slow cooker, make breakfast, pack lunches,get the kid ready for school, drop them off at daycare and elementary school, work in a office or retail or as a nurse, pick kids up, finish dinner, throw laundry in the dryer, do dishes, shower, and go to bed.

He gets dressed, goes to work, has a lunch meeting, comes home and relaxed. Maybe read a book to the little one but is more likely to workout or play a video game. And complain she hasn't picked up his suits yet and he is tired of the same 10 meals.

She does deserve half the assets when she is doing that and he is doing little to nothing at home.

This is not about wives who do nothing until just before everyone gets home. But the women who don't get weekends to relax but dust, mop, vacuum, finish laundry, grocery shop etc.

Him doing yardwork is not equal division of things that need to be done at home. Ignoring her and her needs is wrong just like it would be for her ignore him.

---

LOL - Tanya is time traveling from 1982.


Majority of SAHM do this:

Wake up with just enough time to make sure they take their kids to school...likely still wearing pajamas
Scroll instagram for 90 minutes while drinking coffee
Spend money on items they just saw on instagram
Text husband that something is broken...that likely isnt broken
Take shower
Talk on phone to mom/sister for 2 hours while sitting down
Text husband that she has no time before picking up kids to clean house
Pick up kids in 500 dollar outfit in 80k vehicle to impress friends at pickup
Get home and order groceries online b/c she would NEVER go inside of a store
Turn on TV for kids or give them a screen at 4pm

Husband gets home at 5 (leaving work early)
Thank god he is home - time to put on a moomoo
She immediately takes screens away from quiet kids and tells husband to play with kids b/c she is worn out
Makes a overbearingly messy recipe for dinner while cleaning zero
Complain all dinner long about how no one is eating her eggplant parm (sorry babe. 8 year olds dong like eggplant. only an idiot wouldnt know this)
Scream at the kids for not sitting quietly at the table for 45 minutes and tell her husband he has to bathe them and put them to bed b/c she is too tired

Kids are in bed and netflix is on...oh wait - grocery delivery!
Husband get groceries that she paid giant markup and delivery fee on b/c he 80k SUV couldnt to get in person
He them puts them away b/c she is too tired

He showers hoping to get lucky
She binges netflix until 11pm and complains that the food has been put away incorrectly and that the dishwasher is loadied incorrectly from husbands cleaning of dinner


She doesnt shower, goes to bed dirty and tells her husband to shut up about his day and stop touching her
she rolls over, then decides she forgot to tell him that she wants him to do 50 chores tomorrow b/c she doesnt have time.


i dare anyone in suburbia to challenge this.

when the kids start playing sports she is mad that the kids arent better at sports and that the husband spends too much time playing with them and should just buy lessons b/c the husband is old, fat, balding, and not as good as the local junior college dropout at d-bat.

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I don't know what planet you're living on but I've never seen a single instance of this.

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I've seen real-life examples of both of these descriptions.

In both of the couples, the spouses freely chose, and stayed with, each other.

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I guide big game(elk deer bear) on the side in the fall. I bet 75% of my customers fit this description. It is amazing how people open up to you on a mountain and really tell you everything wrong with their life and why they are there hunting. Pro tip....most the time it isn't a bucket list item.

Ol_Ag_02 said:

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TarponChaser said:

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evestor1 said:

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Tanya 93 said:

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I am not arguing for women who sit at home and do nothing.

I specifically mentioned women who work outside the home and then have to come home and do almost everything

You know
Get up at 5 am, throw laundry in the washer, prep something for the slow cooker, make breakfast, pack lunches,get the kid ready for school, drop them off at daycare and elementary school, work in a office or retail or as a nurse, pick kids up, finish dinner, throw laundry in the dryer, do dishes, shower, and go to bed.

He gets dressed, goes to work, has a lunch meeting, comes home and relaxed. Maybe read a book to the little one but is more likely to workout or play a video game. And complain she hasn't picked up his suits yet and he is tired of the same 10 meals.

She does deserve half the assets when she is doing that and he is doing little to nothing at home.

This is not about wives who do nothing until just before everyone gets home. But the women who don't get weekends to relax but dust, mop, vacuum, finish laundry, grocery shop etc.

Him doing yardwork is not equal division of things that need to be done at home. Ignoring her and her needs is wrong just like it would be for her ignore him.

---

LOL - Tanya is time traveling from 1982.


Majority of SAHM do this:

Wake up with just enough time to make sure they take their kids to school...likely still wearing pajamas
Scroll instagram for 90 minutes while drinking coffee
Spend money on items they just saw on instagram
Text husband that something is broken...that likely isnt broken
Take shower
Talk on phone to mom/sister for 2 hours while sitting down
Text husband that she has no time before picking up kids to clean house
Pick up kids in 500 dollar outfit in 80k vehicle to impress friends at pickup
Get home and order groceries online b/c she would NEVER go inside of a store
Turn on TV for kids or give them a screen at 4pm

Husband gets home at 5 (leaving work early)
Thank god he is home - time to put on a moomoo
She immediately takes screens away from quiet kids and tells husband to play with kids b/c she is worn out
Makes a overbearingly messy recipe for dinner while cleaning zero
Complain all dinner long about how no one is eating her eggplant parm (sorry babe. 8 year olds dong like eggplant. only an idiot wouldnt know this)
Scream at the kids for not sitting quietly at the table for 45 minutes and tell her husband he has to bathe them and put them to bed b/c she is too tired

Kids are in bed and netflix is on...oh wait - grocery delivery!
Husband get groceries that she paid giant markup and delivery fee on b/c he 80k SUV couldnt to get in person
He them puts them away b/c she is too tired

He showers hoping to get lucky
She binges netflix until 11pm and complains that the food has been put away incorrectly and that the dishwasher is loadied incorrectly from husbands cleaning of dinner


She doesnt shower, goes to bed dirty and tells her husband to shut up about his day and stop touching her
she rolls over, then decides she forgot to tell him that she wants him to do 50 chores tomorrow b/c she doesnt have time.


i dare anyone in suburbia to challenge this.

when the kids start playing sports she is mad that the kids arent better at sports and that the husband spends too much time playing with them and should just buy lessons b/c the husband is old, fat, balding, and not as good as the local junior college dropout at d-bat.

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I don't know what planet you're living on but I've never seen a single instance of this.

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This is the majority of women where I live. Maybe not so much the unappreciative part but not really ever having to lift a finger other than to drive kids around is pretty spot on.

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1000000%

They scroll through tiktok videos all day of other women complaining about how stressful it is to be a mom - or divorced women saying how happy they are now.

Think this is an exaggeration? I started asking women when's the last time they saw a pro marriage video on tiktok or one that wasn't bashing men. Crickets.....

I see the good videos all the time. I control my algorithm.

swimmerbabe11 said:

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I see the good videos all the time. I control my algorithm.

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You're either a unicorn or I'm talking to a dude

A prenup is almost a necessity nowadays. I have a friend from A&M who is going through a major custody battle right now and he simply just wants to be able to share custody and see his kids. He is a great dad and his ex wife just flipped a switch one day and decided she wanted out and wanted to take the kids. He is a HS coach and doesn't make a lot of money. He has gone into almost 6 figures worth of debt fighting the court system simply to get custody of his kids. Sadly, the court system is going to side with the female almost 99% of the time.

I don't think it would make a difference for your friend.

My understanding is that you cannot use a prenuptial agreement to determine child custody in Texas.

Well to be fair he also lost half of his stuff as well

annie88 said:

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BusterAg said:

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Stat Monitor Repairman said:

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Quote:

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Don't marry crazy people

---

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Some people are sane at 23, and go bat**** crazy around 45 when certain hormone changes kick in, and start making really bad decisions.

I think that no-fault divorce is terrible.

If I were a man in his 20's right now, I would not get married without making it impossible to file for a no-fault divorce.

---

So you think it's only women that go for a no fault divorce that men are never using that angle? Really? You don't think men go through a midlife crisis? Good grief.

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Most men are logical and lazy enough to realize the unfavorable cost:benefit ratio.

Im Gipper said:

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I don't think it would make a difference for your friend.

My understanding is that you cannot use a prenuptial agreement to determine child custody in Texas.

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From what I have heard, the prenup in Texas probably isn't going to guarantee much in way of finances either. As a previous poster said, any attempt at keeping funds from being co-mingled in one way or the other is almost impossible.

I think all a prenup really accomplishes in Texas is "intention" that the judge can choose to follow or not.

HookThis said:

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I'm trying to figure out what the issue is with no fault divorce. Has some podcaster been criticizing it lately? Texas has had no fault divorce since 1970. Is the theory that just because your spouse wants a divorce, she can't get one because you don't want one? Now you just have to stay married?

---

The theory goes that marriage is definitionally a permanent and indissoluble arrangement that can't be exited for ANY reason (meaning reasons that aren't legitimate grounds for asking for a divorce), or no reason whatsoever, because it's harmful to people's attitudes about marriage and to the children who are the product of them. Society has a compelling interest in its own stability.

I think everyone would like to be reasonably sure their bride or groom takes their commitment seriously, and live around people in stable households. That their children's friends' parents are married.

If you had the choice to live and work in a community where that's the case or conversely where the people are a mish mash of "married" but promiscuous, and cynical divorced men and women, and whose children are your kids' friends. Which one would you choose?

I don't think pre-nups are necessary for most people because most don't have anything of value when they get married.

Average Joe said:

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I don't think pre-nups are necessary for most people because most don't have anything of value when they get married.

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But those of us in their 40s with significant assets are screwed. Yeah, single life is more and more appealing since it seems I missed the boat.

I've gathered that the only time to get married is when you're both young and poor. Older and established puts a target on your back, and apparently you can never trust people (meaning the women side of the equation) to get together for the right reasons. And if so, a guy can never trust truly her or her intentions unless he goes in dirt poor with crappy career options and she still wants to be with him anyway…? How encouraging…

Kaiser von Wilhelm said:

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Average Joe said:

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I don't think pre-nups are necessary for most people because most don't have anything of value when they get married.

---

But those of us in their 40s with significant assets are screwed. Yeah, single life is more and more appealing since it seems I missed the boat.

I've gathered that the only time to get married is when you're both young and poor. Older and established puts a target on your back, and apparently you can never trust people (meaning the women side of the equation) to get together for the right reasons. And if so, a guy can never trust truly her or her intentions unless he goes in dirt poor with crappy career options and she still wants to be with him anyway…? How encouraging…

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I don't think you're screwed. Just not part of that "most people" I'm speaking of.

Like anything else, there is risk involved and the risk increases as assets increase. That applies no matter what age you are. The problem with being older is that the pool of women is smaller, and most have been through a divorce.

I'm of the same mindset as you. Especially after the last several relationships that I've been in. Social media has given people this extremely false narrative that there are a ton of good options (both male & female) out there, when it's just not the case. Especially when you're looking for someone who is also a practicing Christian and is true to their faith. Someone they're connected with on FB or Instagram or wherever else can send a DM to someone in a relationship and if they catch them on a bad day, it's quite easy for the person to entertain another option. The whole "ghosting" culture and people scared to have actual, difficult conversations is also a huge problem.

So if you start up a business or something, and you take out a million dollars in debt...then get divorced shortly after before that business is stable and profitable...does she take on 500k of that debt? Since she would get half of the value of a successful business if you were together while you were building up that business (regardless of her involvement, she was officially considered part of the process) by default, then it really should apply the other direction too.

Shouldn't it go both ways? Because fairness and equality? If I receive a check her hand is out, but if I'm stuck with the check for money owed she has alligator arms?

And does this apply to a prenup? If I went in with debt, but she cheats and demands half my stuff on the way out the door, can I talk to the bank and give them her info to collect half of what I owed before I met her?

An internet message board ain't the best place to get marital advice. Certainly not a politics message board.

I guess it depends on what you have (monetarily) when you get married.

I had a car and about $10k in the bank. My wife had a car and about $10k in the bank. That's what we brought into the marriage. Since that time, we've bought a couple houses, a number of cars, and built our wealth together. If we split now, we'd both have a sizable chunk - but only because we built it together..

Hey...so.. um said:

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Just pray together and for each other regularly. Go to church together and there is very little chance you divorced.

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It's right near zero percent chance.

Liberals love to say how "Christians" get divorced at the same rates as others. But if both partners are members of their church and pray together daily the divorce rate is zero.

annie88 said:

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BusterAg said:

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Stat Monitor Repairman said:

---

Quote:

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Don't marry crazy people

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---

Some people are sane at 23, and go bat**** crazy around 45 when certain hormone changes kick in, and start making really bad decisions.

I think that no-fault divorce is terrible.

If I were a man in his 20's right now, I would not get married without making it impossible to file for a no-fault divorce.

---

So you think it's only women that go for a no fault divorce that men are never using that angle? Really? You don't think men go through a midlife crisis? Good grief.

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Women initiate the vast majority of divorce.

Pumpkinhead said:

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An internet message board ain't the best place to get marital advice. Certainly not a politics message board.

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In the days of no fault transfer portal, the football board isn't either

evestor1 said:

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Tanya 93 said:

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I am not arguing for women who sit at home and do nothing.

I specifically mentioned women who work outside the home and then have to come home and do almost everything

You know
Get up at 5 am, throw laundry in the washer, prep something for the slow cooker, make breakfast, pack lunches,get the kid ready for school, drop them off at daycare and elementary school, work in a office or retail or as a nurse, pick kids up, finish dinner, throw laundry in the dryer, do dishes, shower, and go to bed.

He gets dressed, goes to work, has a lunch meeting, comes home and relaxed. Maybe read a book to the little one but is more likely to workout or play a video game. And complain she hasn't picked up his suits yet and he is tired of the same 10 meals.

She does deserve half the assets when she is doing that and he is doing little to nothing at home.

This is not about wives who do nothing until just before everyone gets home. But the women who don't get weekends to relax but dust, mop, vacuum, finish laundry, grocery shop etc.

Him doing yardwork is not equal division of things that need to be done at home. Ignoring her and her needs is wrong just like it would be for her ignore him.

---

LOL - Tanya is time traveling from 1982.


Majority of SAHM do this:

Wake up with just enough time to make sure they take their kids to school...likely still wearing pajamas
Scroll instagram for 90 minutes while drinking coffee
Spend money on items they just saw on instagram
Text husband that something is broken...that likely isnt broken
Take shower
Talk on phone to mom/sister for 2 hours while sitting down
Text husband that she has no time before picking up kids to clean house
Pick up kids in 500 dollar outfit in 80k vehicle to impress friends at pickup
Get home and order groceries online b/c she would NEVER go inside of a store
Turn on TV for kids or give them a screen at 4pm

Husband gets home at 5 (leaving work early)
Thank god he is home - time to put on a moomoo
She immediately takes screens away from quiet kids and tells husband to play with kids b/c she is worn out
Makes a overbearingly messy recipe for dinner while cleaning zero
Complain all dinner long about how no one is eating her eggplant parm (sorry babe. 8 year olds dong like eggplant. only an idiot wouldnt know this)
Scream at the kids for not sitting quietly at the table for 45 minutes and tell her husband he has to bathe them and put them to bed b/c she is too tired

Kids are in bed and netflix is on...oh wait - grocery delivery!
Husband get groceries that she paid giant markup and delivery fee on b/c he 80k SUV couldnt to get in person
He them puts them away b/c she is too tired

He showers hoping to get lucky
She binges netflix until 11pm and complains that the food has been put away incorrectly and that the dishwasher is loadied incorrectly from husbands cleaning of dinner


She doesnt shower, goes to bed dirty and tells her husband to shut up about his day and stop touching her
she rolls over, then decides she forgot to tell him that she wants him to do 50 chores tomorrow b/c she doesnt have time.


i dare anyone in suburbia to challenge this.

when the kids start playing sports she is mad that the kids arent better at sports and that the husband spends too much time playing with them and should just buy lessons b/c the husband is old, fat, balding, and not as good as the local junior college dropout at d-bat.

---

Are there any posters on here who feel like this is what their wife is like? If its the majority of SAHM in the US there should be quite a few people on here who feel like this.

Aggie1205 said:

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evestor1 said:

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Tanya 93 said:

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I am not arguing for women who sit at home and do nothing.

I specifically mentioned women who work outside the home and then have to come home and do almost everything

You know
Get up at 5 am, throw laundry in the washer, prep something for the slow cooker, make breakfast, pack lunches,get the kid ready for school, drop them off at daycare and elementary school, work in a office or retail or as a nurse, pick kids up, finish dinner, throw laundry in the dryer, do dishes, shower, and go to bed.

He gets dressed, goes to work, has a lunch meeting, comes home and relaxed. Maybe read a book to the little one but is more likely to workout or play a video game. And complain she hasn't picked up his suits yet and he is tired of the same 10 meals.

She does deserve half the assets when she is doing that and he is doing little to nothing at home.

This is not about wives who do nothing until just before everyone gets home. But the women who don't get weekends to relax but dust, mop, vacuum, finish laundry, grocery shop etc.

Him doing yardwork is not equal division of things that need to be done at home. Ignoring her and her needs is wrong just like it would be for her ignore him.

---

LOL - Tanya is time traveling from 1982.


Majority of SAHM do this:

Wake up with just enough time to make sure they take their kids to school...likely still wearing pajamas
Scroll instagram for 90 minutes while drinking coffee
Spend money on items they just saw on instagram
Text husband that something is broken...that likely isnt broken
Take shower
Talk on phone to mom/sister for 2 hours while sitting down
Text husband that she has no time before picking up kids to clean house
Pick up kids in 500 dollar outfit in 80k vehicle to impress friends at pickup
Get home and order groceries online b/c she would NEVER go inside of a store
Turn on TV for kids or give them a screen at 4pm

Husband gets home at 5 (leaving work early)
Thank god he is home - time to put on a moomoo
She immediately takes screens away from quiet kids and tells husband to play with kids b/c she is worn out
Makes a overbearingly messy recipe for dinner while cleaning zero
Complain all dinner long about how no one is eating her eggplant parm (sorry babe. 8 year olds dong like eggplant. only an idiot wouldnt know this)
Scream at the kids for not sitting quietly at the table for 45 minutes and tell her husband he has to bathe them and put them to bed b/c she is too tired

Kids are in bed and netflix is on...oh wait - grocery delivery!
Husband get groceries that she paid giant markup and delivery fee on b/c he 80k SUV couldnt to get in person
He them puts them away b/c she is too tired

He showers hoping to get lucky
She binges netflix until 11pm and complains that the food has been put away incorrectly and that the dishwasher is loadied incorrectly from husbands cleaning of dinner


She doesnt shower, goes to bed dirty and tells her husband to shut up about his day and stop touching her
she rolls over, then decides she forgot to tell him that she wants him to do 50 chores tomorrow b/c she doesnt have time.


i dare anyone in suburbia to challenge this.

when the kids start playing sports she is mad that the kids arent better at sports and that the husband spends too much time playing with them and should just buy lessons b/c the husband is old, fat, balding, and not as good as the local junior college dropout at d-bat.

---

Are there any posters on here who feel like this is what their wife is like? If its the majority of SAHM in the US there should be quite a few people on here who feel like this.

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It looks to me like there's at least one. This isn't my experience thank God. I doubt this is MOST SAHMs. There's no way.

The only part of this that is accurate for my wife is making an overly complicated and messy dinner. I have been trying for years to get her to clean while she cooks but have given up that battle

Starts her day making breakfast for 3 kids and then milking her cow.
Gives the baby a bottle (adopted so can't breast feed before people freak out on that)
Home schools the two older kids while the 3 year old plays and makes a huge mess
Drives around in an $11K vehicle (6.0 Excursion that she loves)
Does a lot of curbside orders because taking 4 kids in HEB is dumb
Doesn't have a single outfit that costs $500 dollars except her wedding dress. Most of her outfits probably have some form of chicken or cow poop on them.
I get home around 4:45 and play with the kids while she makes dinner.
Usually takes about 30 min to chill after dinner
We both put kids to bed and then clean the kitchen
Put our feet up and watch a show or movie
A good week is 3-4 times a week. Sometimes we're both too tired to have fun. Very rarely go a week with nothing

Got married 3 weeks out of school with no money. Would have spent more on a lawyer for a prenup than we actually had to protect.

Tom Fox said:

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13B said:

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annie88 said:

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BusterAg said:

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Stat Monitor Repairman said:

---

Quote:

---

Don't marry crazy people

---

---

Some people are sane at 23, and go bat**** crazy around 45 when certain hormone changes kick in, and start making really bad decisions.

I think that no-fault divorce is terrible.

If I were a man in his 20's right now, I would not get married without making it impossible to file for a no-fault divorce.

---

So you think it's only women that go for a no fault divorce that men are never using that angle? Really? You don't think men go through a midlife crisis? Good grief.

---

I'm not saying that men don't BUT in my experience and observation over the past 30 years, predominately, it is the woman that initiates and the man gets blamed.I am certain there are some cases where the husband is abusive or unfaithful but the majority of the examples I have seen and/or experienced is where the man is trucking along thinking he's doing the right thing and everything is good to having his heart ripped out of his chest by a harpy. I realize nothing happens in a vacuum but many men don't realize they are in the crosshairs.

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College educated women initiate the divorce 90% of the time. Think about that.

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About 70% of divorces are initiated by women, and the number of college educated women who initiate divorce obviously much be lower than that by statistical necessity. But that number also isn't really representative of much, as it's well recognized that men just generally don't file for divorce regardless of how bad a marriage is or who is at fault. Men will stay in awful situations much longer than women, especially ones they themselves create.

Towns03 said:

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Bob Lee said:

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I wouldn't have married my wife if I believed she were capable of waking up one morning and deciding to abandon our family out of the blue. That almost never happens in reality where you have a beautiful healthy marriage and then one spouse turns into a vicious monster one morning out of nowhere.

Edit: I wholeheartedly agree with OP that no fault divorce has been a horrible development.

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Sometimes people do change radically and unnaturally.

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Sometimes, but it's not common. The reality is that men in general are just really bad at objectively evaluating the women they are sexually attracted to when it comes to the sorts of traits that reliably predict long term marital success. In nearly every case of a woman who truly just decides to leave one day for no good reason, it was predictable to objective outside viewers who knew the woman before she was married.

Men are actually much more likely than women to go through radical mid life changes in personality and demeanor, largely due to exponentially higher rates of new onset substance abuse in adulthood. The whole "menopause made my wife go crazy and divorce me" just doesn't really hold up when it's been placed under scientific scrutiny. It happens but it's just not very common.

GeorgiAg said:

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Married at age 27 after law school to a woman I met in law school. 16 year marriage. She got worse and worse over time, and it became unbearable. You don't truly know everything about a person until you marry them. I presumed, incorrectly, that some of her quirks would get better over time, but they did not. They got worse. I also think that birth control meds messed up her hormonally. It's not just me, she pissed off all her friends and had to get a new job about every other year. She never made partner at a law firm.

Even though we had no kids and both had high-paying jobs, i had to pay alimony for a while. She also took a large chunk of my retirement which was really unfair. She spent money like no tomorrow and was horrible with investing.

I am 8 years into another relationship, and we have no plans to get married. She went through a bad divorce too. Why give some judge or jury the power to fleece you just because she is a woman?

I did domestic legal work for a while and it's rampant - the male gets screwed. Yes, get a prenup, or even better, don't get married. You can take care of stuff with wills, powers of attorney and what-not. If you are married you can also do a post-nup. I had a few clients that got those when their spouse started acting wacky, and it literally saved their business in the divorce.

I may get married someday, but I will definitely do a pre-nup if I do.

---

The unfortunate reality is that the type of cognitive and personality traits that tend to cluster in women that go into fields such as medicine and law are very strong statistical predictors of divorce. And they are traits that in essentially all cases were present when their spouse met them. As one example, disagreeableness in women is a huge predictor of divorce. Women on the whole are much less disagreeable than men, but female lawyers are actually MORE disagreeable than the general population of men. Meaning that the average female lawyers is more disagreeable than the average man you meet on the street, which is a shocking fact if you think very deeply about it.

I would never in a million years have married another physician. Not because I was worried about them going crazy, but because a majority of female medical student and doctors I've met has personality and behavioral traits that I recognize as being extremely high risk for divorce. And while I know this isn't always true I automatically assume the ones I don't see them in are just better at hiding them, but they would still likely manifest in a dating relationship. None of this means these women can't be good people or great friends, it just means that they are much, much less likely to make great spouses.

On the flip side, men in dead jobs/careers especially those that aren't intellectually rigorous pose a similar issue for women. They carry personality traits that in men often predict divorce. As an example, contrary to popular belief IQ in men is inversely proportional to their likelihood to cheat on their significant other.

Very few people have enough under the age of 30-32 to warrant a prenup

evestor1 said:

---

Tanya 93 said:

---

I am not arguing for women who sit at home and do nothing.

I specifically mentioned women who work outside the home and then have to come home and do almost everything

You know
Get up at 5 am, throw laundry in the washer, prep something for the slow cooker, make breakfast, pack lunches,get the kid ready for school, drop them off at daycare and elementary school, work in a office or retail or as a nurse, pick kids up, finish dinner, throw laundry in the dryer, do dishes, shower, and go to bed.

He gets dressed, goes to work, has a lunch meeting, comes home and relaxed. Maybe read a book to the little one but is more likely to workout or play a video game. And complain she hasn't picked up his suits yet and he is tired of the same 10 meals.

She does deserve half the assets when she is doing that and he is doing little to nothing at home.

This is not about wives who do nothing until just before everyone gets home. But the women who don't get weekends to relax but dust, mop, vacuum, finish laundry, grocery shop etc.

Him doing yardwork is not equal division of things that need to be done at home. Ignoring her and her needs is wrong just like it would be for her ignore him.

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LOL - Tanya is time traveling from 1982.


Majority of SAHM do this:

Wake up with just enough time to make sure they take their kids to school...likely still wearing pajamas
Scroll instagram for 90 minutes while drinking coffee
Spend money on items they just saw on instagram
Text husband that something is broken...that likely isnt broken
Take shower
Talk on phone to mom/sister for 2 hours while sitting down
Text husband that she has no time before picking up kids to clean house
Pick up kids in 500 dollar outfit in 80k vehicle to impress friends at pickup
Get home and order groceries online b/c she would NEVER go inside of a store
Turn on TV for kids or give them a screen at 4pm

Husband gets home at 5 (leaving work early)
Thank god he is home - time to put on a moomoo
She immediately takes screens away from quiet kids and tells husband to play with kids b/c she is worn out
Makes a overbearingly messy recipe for dinner while cleaning zero
Complain all dinner long about how no one is eating her eggplant parm (sorry babe. 8 year olds dong like eggplant. only an idiot wouldnt know this)
Scream at the kids for not sitting quietly at the table for 45 minutes and tell her husband he has to bathe them and put them to bed b/c she is too tired

Kids are in bed and netflix is on...oh wait - grocery delivery!
Husband get groceries that she paid giant markup and delivery fee on b/c he 80k SUV couldnt to get in person
He them puts them away b/c she is too tired

He showers hoping to get lucky
She binges netflix until 11pm and complains that the food has been put away incorrectly and that the dishwasher is loadied incorrectly from husbands cleaning of dinner


She doesnt shower, goes to bed dirty and tells her husband to shut up about his day and stop touching her
she rolls over, then decides she forgot to tell him that she wants him to do 50 chores tomorrow b/c she doesnt have time.


i dare anyone in suburbia to challenge this.

when the kids start playing sports she is mad that the kids arent better at sports and that the husband spends too much time playing with them and should just buy lessons b/c the husband is old, fat, balding, and not as good as the local junior college dropout at d-bat.

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Yikes, show me on the doll where the mean lady touched you

Of course this type of person exists but it's WILDLY disingenuous to portray this as the norm. My wife is a SAHM and she is the only reason our children are civilized humans who ever make it anywhere on time. The house is always clean, she does all the cooking during the week, does some basic yard work, coaches our girls in dance, etc. The SUV becomes a bit of necessity once you get beyond a certain number of kids, and anyone with that many kids would be insane to try and go shopping in HEB with them in tow. We'd easily spend more than the average female income to pay others to do everything she does if she worked full time. But even more than that is the reality that one, it's a demonstrable fact that children in two parent households with a SAHM do better than children in literally any other setup and two, she takes on all the stress and responsibility of keeping the family schedule and children organized so that I'm free to deal with the job of making the money. It's an immense, indescribable burden off my shoulders knowing my kids are always being cared for by their mom when I'm not there instead of someone we pay to do the task. That's worth a lot more than anything else she'd be doing in my opinion.

Also, I'm sensing a lot of self consciousness in this thread about getting fat and bald. As someone who has been bald since their late 20s, it's pretty easy to make it work for you. Lots of women dig the shaved head/facial hair combo. With respect to getting fat, that's a choice. If your wife isn't attracted to you anymore you can change that.

Infection_Ag11 said:

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Tom Fox said:

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13B said:

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annie88 said:

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BusterAg said:

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Stat Monitor Repairman said:

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Quote:

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Don't marry crazy people

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Some people are sane at 23, and go bat**** crazy around 45 when certain hormone changes kick in, and start making really bad decisions.

I think that no-fault divorce is terrible.

If I were a man in his 20's right now, I would not get married without making it impossible to file for a no-fault divorce.

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So you think it's only women that go for a no fault divorce that men are never using that angle? Really? You don't think men go through a midlife crisis? Good grief.

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I'm not saying that men don't BUT in my experience and observation over the past 30 years, predominately, it is the woman that initiates and the man gets blamed.I am certain there are some cases where the husband is abusive or unfaithful but the majority of the examples I have seen and/or experienced is where the man is trucking along thinking he's doing the right thing and everything is good to having his heart ripped out of his chest by a harpy. I realize nothing happens in a vacuum but many men don't realize they are in the crosshairs.

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College educated women initiate the divorce 90% of the time. Think about that.

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About 70% of divorces are initiated by women, and the number of college educated women who initiate divorce obviously much be lower than that by statistical necessity. But that number also isn't really representative of much, as it's well recognized that men just generally don't file for divorce regardless of how bad a marriage is or who is at fault. Men will stay in awful situations much longer than women, especially ones they themselves create.

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Men are more likely to be perseverant and honor their commitment when things get tough? You don't say?

And it my lifetime, generally the smarter and more driven a man is the more likely they are to do so. Women appear to be the opposite.

It is a fundamental character flaw with women.

When my wife and I got married, our collective net worth was probably about $2000, and that was money she save in college being a nanny. We used it to buy all the furniture for our first apartment, about 500 sqft.

There is something extremely valuable about starting a relationship with nothing material.