Favorite Lines from The Office (US)

114,797 Views | 797 Replies | Last: 3 yr ago by Jugstore Cowboy
HTownAg98
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Dwight: I see I've underestimated you, and I didn't think that was possible. Nate, reply the paper.
Nate: I don't think it goes that way.
Dwight: Reply it!
MW03
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Oscar: WHAT ARE YOU COOKING?!
Phyllis: Popcorn.
Pam: Why don't you use the microwave in the kitchen, Phyllis?
Phyllis: Because someone needs to clean it. It smells like popcorn.

Easily the most true-to-life exchange in the entire show.
TXAG 05
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Michael: A lot of the people here don't get trophies very often, like Meredith or Kevin. I mean, who's gonna give Kevin an award? Dunkin' Donuts?
MW03
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Also, Branch Wars (S4E6) is a masterpiece.



Quote:

Michael: So, why did you and Karen break up? Was it the sex?
Jim: What?
Michael: I can't imagine the sex being bad, I mean her body is
Jim: Okay, you know what?
Michael: awesome.
Jim: Why don't we play that alphabet game that you were talking about?
Michael: Okay, I will start. Um, "A." [singing] "A" my name is Alan, and my wife's name is Alice, we live in Alaska, and we sell Damn it! What do we sell? Um
Jim: It doesn't matter.
Michael: I'm trying to think of what we could sell.
Jim: Doesn't matter.
Michael: Ah, la, la, la. What is that? That sound The air-conditioning leaking or something?
Jim: That doesn't make sense, couldn't be.
Michael: What is that? Dwight, are you peeing?
Dwight: I'm peeing in this empty can.
Jim: Oh my God!
Michael: Come on man, that is disgusting Dwight!
Dwight: Well you said that we couldn't make anymore stops, and I really had to go.
Jim: Michael, watch the road!
Dwight: Hey, you're making me spray!
Michael: I'll kill you man!
Jim: Michael! Michael, pull over!
Michael: That is just so disgusting!
Jim: Pull over, pull over!
Dwight: I think I cut my ***** on the lid!
COOL LASER FALCON
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https://www.rollingstone.com/tv/tv-news/the-office-book-excerpt-andy-greene-958195/

Oral history about Dwight vs Andy for manager. Figured I'd post here since it came up in this thread a while back.
FightinTexasAg15
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Another interesting excerpt from that book

https://www.indiewire.com/2020/03/the-office-casting-director-nbc-steve-carell-exit-1202220065/?fbclid=IwAR1sx16IFhO_gQxZTm2PGNv0BSAyNjTFV6sd8ddNEbybAYyQXKXq_7plIyU


Steve Carrell was pushed out, he didn't want to leave
TXAG 05
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Just ordered the book on Amazon. Can't wait to read


Ryan Howard: [cleaning out Michael's car] Wow. How many Filet-O-Fishes did you eat?
Michael Scott: That's over several months, Ryan.
Ryan Howard: Still...
FancyKetchup14
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From "The Fire"

Michael: Oh, hey. Game, what game are we playing here?
Stanley: Okay. It's called Who Would You Do?
Michael: Oh, I play this at home all the time while I'm falling asleep.


Mindy Kaling's subtle look at the camera is priceless.
MW03
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FightinTexasAg15 said:

Another interesting excerpt from that book

https://www.indiewire.com/2020/03/the-office-casting-director-nbc-steve-carell-exit-1202220065/?fbclid=IwAR1sx16IFhO_gQxZTm2PGNv0BSAyNjTFV6sd8ddNEbybAYyQXKXq_7plIyU


Steve Carrell was pushed out, he didn't want to leave

Whoa. I always assumed he just wanted to pursue movies.
HoustonAg2106
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MW03 said:

FightinTexasAg15 said:

Another interesting excerpt from that book

https://www.indiewire.com/2020/03/the-office-casting-director-nbc-steve-carell-exit-1202220065/?fbclid=IwAR1sx16IFhO_gQxZTm2PGNv0BSAyNjTFV6sd8ddNEbybAYyQXKXq_7plIyU


Steve Carrell was pushed out, he didn't want to leave

Whoa. I always assumed he just wanted to pursue movies.


I thought the same thing, how was that not a big story at the time?
Urban Ag
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I've read some comments that the best seasons were roughly 3-5 or so but we just started S7 and I think it's one of the best so far.

The snowball war between Jim and Dwight was epic.

TXAG 05
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MW03 said:

FightinTexasAg15 said:

Another interesting excerpt from that book

https://www.indiewire.com/2020/03/the-office-casting-director-nbc-steve-carell-exit-1202220065/?fbclid=IwAR1sx16IFhO_gQxZTm2PGNv0BSAyNjTFV6sd8ddNEbybAYyQXKXq_7plIyU


Steve Carrell was pushed out, he didn't want to leave

Whoa. I always assumed he just wanted to pursue movies.


That was the story at the time. He was tired of the role and was starting to get big parts in movies.
MW03
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Michael: Oh hello Oscar Mayer...Weiner...lover. I bet that you have a bunch of very liberal girl type friends that trust you implicitly because they know you'd never touch 'em, because of your condition. Umm

Phyllis: Michael?

Michael: What?

Phyllis: I have a friend who's single.

Michael: Oh.

Phyllis: Sandy. She's gorgeous and she's got a feisty personality, too.

Michael: Hmm, I see, feisty. So she's not jolly or sassy? Not like a jolly, sassy opera singer?

Phyllis: Umm, no, she's a professional softball player.

Michael: Oooo. Catcher or infield?

Phyllis: Umm I don't know Michael.

Michael: Is she a dress wearer or a pants wearer? Could we share a row boat? Could, could a row boat support her?

Phyllis: What are you asking?

Michael: I think I'm being very clear what I'm asking. Would an average size row boat support her without capsizing?

Phyllis: [silence]

Michael: It bothers me that you're not answering the question.

Phyllis: No, alright no!. She can't fit in a row boat.

Michael: Damn it, I knew it! I knew it Phyllis! OK!
Fat Bib Fortuna
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One of my favorite parts of this is how terribly "anti-PC" just about every single thing Michael says would be these days. Man, I miss that show.
Fat Bib Fortuna
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Meredith: Meredith Palmer ain't never been called no nark. Floozy? Yes. Alkie? Check. Einstein sarcastically? You bet. But never no nark. Vomit mop? Sure. Floor meat? That's me. Flesh hoover?
HoustonAg2106
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Humorous Username
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Urban Ag said:

I've read some comments that the best seasons were roughly 3-5 or so but we just started S7 and I think it's one of the best so far.

The snowball war between Jim and Dwight was epic.




The best show of the last season is Dwight Christmas.
AliasMan02
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Cstrickland05 said:

MW03 said:

FightinTexasAg15 said:

Another interesting excerpt from that book

https://www.indiewire.com/2020/03/the-office-casting-director-nbc-steve-carell-exit-1202220065/?fbclid=IwAR1sx16IFhO_gQxZTm2PGNv0BSAyNjTFV6sd8ddNEbybAYyQXKXq_7plIyU


Steve Carrell was pushed out, he didn't want to leave

Whoa. I always assumed he just wanted to pursue movies.


That was the story at the time. He was tired of the role and was starting to get big parts in movies.


The only hint about there maybe being issues with NBC that I remember was the talk he had refused to do the finale. Obviously he did it, but it wasn't much more than a cameo. You'd have thought they would have wanted him in the panel.
Azariah
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The 2s version of Steve being pushed out is that he mused in public that he might consider leaving the show, and the network went, "FINE **** YOU THEN, LEAVE."
mike_ags_fan12
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TheDraw
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superunknown
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Azariah said:

The 2s version of Steve being pushed out is that he mused in public that he might consider leaving the show, and the network went, "FINE **** YOU THEN, LEAVE."


They didn't know how high he could fly
AliasMan02
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He was very impressed with the potential they saw in him.
Talon2DSO
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I thought Rajinaghanda was a boys name...?

That line cracks me up ever time.

Also the sequence between Kelly and Ryan...

Kelly: "Ryan, I'm pregnant!"
Cut to Kelly in interview room shaking her head.
RO519
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"You were in the parking lot earlier! That's how I know you." Creed Bratton
mloz12
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This is one of my favorite cold opens of aaall time. How they all just get up and walk out, and Michael's "What can I say" gets me every time
Humorous Username
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superunknown said:

Azariah said:

The 2s version of Steve being pushed out is that he mused in public that he might consider leaving the show, and the network went, "FINE **** YOU THEN, LEAVE."


They didn't know how high he could fly


HoustonAg2106
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I'll die before I let this thread die!
Fat Bib Fortuna
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Last night I watched "The Secret" which is the one after "Booze Cruise" where Jim tells Michael he likes Pam.


Michael: Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work. But, the fact that he told me his secret and no one else knows says everything about our friendship. And it is why, I intend on keeping that secret for as long as I possibly can.

Dwight: Quick Oscar update. I have conducted interviews with everyone in the office.
Michael: Just go to his house and see if he's sick. I could have done this Investigation in like twenty minutes.
Dwight: Including prep time?
Michael: Just do it.

Dwight: As a volunteer Sheriff's Deputy I have been doing surveillance for years. One time I suspected an ex-girlfriend of mine of cheating on me. So I tailed her for six straight nights. Turns out she was, with a couple of guys actually so mystery solved.

Michael: People are always coming to me. "Michael, I have a secret. Your the only one I trust." No thanks, because keeping a secret can only lead to trouble. Like I was watching Cinemax last weekend. This movie, Portrait of a Prostitute something. Secrets of a Call More Secrets of a Call Girl. And the lead character, Shila, is framed for murder. She goes on the run and winds up working at a bordello in Malibu. I don't, I don't want to live like that. I like it here. I don't want to be Shila, I like being Michael Scott.
Humorous Username
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TXAG 05
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HoustonAg2106 said:



I'll die before I let this thread die!


The thread said, "If I'm dead, you guys have been dead for weeks."
'03ag
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Whatching the wedding episode

Kevin: trying to decide if I have time to go pee

Oscar: how long does it take you to pee?

Kevin: the peeing is fast, Oscar. It's getting my tie back on.
Always_Right
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Casino Night is my favorite episode of the series, absolute comedy gold.
HoustonAg2106
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Michael Scott after walking into the hospital room where Pam is giving birth...

"That kid is going to have a lot of hair"
FancyKetchup14
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"Can't smoke anywhere these days"
 
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