Michael Scott:
Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Oscar:
Where?
Michael Scott:
It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.
Stanley:
What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?

Michael Scott:
Kelly, you're Hindu so you believe in Buddha.
Kelly:
That's Buddhists.
Michael Scott:
Are you sure?
Kelly:
No.

Michael: I have to fire somebody today
Pam: why did you put it off til Halloween
Michael: because it's scary stuff

Every week, I'm supposed to take 4 hours and do a quality spot check at the paper mill. And of course the 1 year I blow it off, this happens.

Yes. It is true. I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. Thousands of people have done it, and I am going to do it. I need a username, and... I have a great one.[types something] "Little Kid Lover'. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.

"Secret Santa"

Michael:
If this were Russia yeah sure everyone would go to one Santa. And there would be a line around the block. And once you sat on her lap and she asked you what you wanted, and you'd probably say 'freedom.' At which point the KGB would arrest you and send you to Siberia.

It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore.

After watching this episode again tonight, I am convinced that Charles Miner was messing with Jim and there is no such thing as a rundown

I don't know why but this word salad from Michael's original presentation video to David Wallace always makes me laugh:

"An African-American father of two, Stanley's dedication is no doubt one of the hallmarks of the foundation of the business we're hoping to build our basis on"

When Charles was talking to Kelly and Kelly (Erin) paraphrasing.

Charles "I'll call you Kapoor and I'll call you Hannon.
Kelly (Erin): If we are changing names you can call me Erin, it's my middle name.
Charles: That's a pretty name
Kelly K: My middle name is Rajnigandha and I hate it.

Kevin: I thought Rajnigandha was a boy's name.

"Fence with a hole in it" and "Democratic Primary" gets me every damn time.

Not really a line, but just rewatched Benihana Christmas. That whole episode is fantastic. When Michael marks the waitresses arm with a marker so he can tell them apart is absolutely genius.

Jo Bennett:
I noticed you've had a good year. Good boy. You turning that money into more money?
Dwight Shrute:
Are you referring to alchemy?


[Saber introductory video]
Christian Slater:
So you've just been bought by Sabre. You've probably got a lot of questions. Hi, I'm Christian Slater. What's it like to work for Sabre? Let's find out together. Working at Sabre means taking on the challenge of the road that rises to meet you. Sabre, respecting the past. And opening the window to the future. Have you ever tasted a rainbow? At Sabre, you will.


Michael's look of sheer wonder and delight seeing Christian Slater in the video might be my favorite Office moment ever.

I like to think that brilliant piece of acting got him Mr. Robot and directly led to the Slateraissance

Dog Faced Pony Soldier said:

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redass89 said:

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Not really a line, but just rewatched Benihana Christmas. That whole episode is fantastic. When Michael marks the waitresses arm with a marker so he can tell them apart is absolutely genius.

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You know how all waitresses look alike

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Just rewatched that one a week ago. The other great thing is that they show up to the party with two different waitresses from the ones they were talking to at the restaurant.

Andy: Just listen, I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bars, beers, buzzed. Wings. Shots. Drunk. Waitresses, hot. Football Cornell/Hofstra. Slaughter. Then a quick nap at my place and we'll hit the tiz-own.

MuckRaker96 said:

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Andy: Just listen, I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bars, beers, buzzed. Wings. Shots. Drunk. Waitresses, hot. Football Cornell/Hofstra. Slaughter. Then a quick nap at my place and we'll hit the tiz-own.

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Gonna go home. Get my beer on. Get my "Lost" on. What are you doing later, wanna hang out?

MuckRaker96 said:

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Andy: Just listen, I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bars, beers, buzzed. Wings. Shots. Drunk. Waitresses, hot. Football Cornell/Hofstra. Slaughter. Then a quick nap at my place and we'll hit the tiz-own.

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The way he says "slaughter" gets me every time.

Another Kevin great line:

Angela is on the phone obviously getting kicked out of her apartment due to excessive cats, goes on a screaming tirade and slams the phone down. As she walks out, Kevin says to Oscar:

What do you think that was about?

Jabba the Hut, pizza the hut, fat guys like pizza, pepperoni pizza, Pepperoni Tony!

seems appropriate with the mass buying of toilet paper. apologies i couldn't get video to post

Dwight: Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is