This is probably my favorite exchange in the entire series

Quote:

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Phyllis:
Michael?
Michael Scott:
What.
Phyllis:
I have a friend who's single.
Michael Scott:
Oh.
Phyllis:
Sandy. She gorgeous and she's got a feisty personality too.
Michael Scott:
Hmmm feisty. So she's not jolly or sassy? Not like a jolly, sassy opera singer?
Phyllis:
Mm no she's a professional softball player.
Michael Scott:
Ewwooh... Catcher or in-field?
Phyllis:
I donno Michael.
Michael Scott:
Is she a dress wearer or a pants wearer? Could we share a rowboat? Could- could a rowboat support her?
Phyllis:
What are you asking?
Michael Scott:
I think I'm being very clear, what I'm asking. Would an average size rowboat support her without capsizing? [long pause] It bothers me that you're not answering the question.
Phyllis:
No. Alright? No she can't fit on a rowboat.
Michael Scott:
Yes! I knew it. I knew it! Phyllis, okay.

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The noise that Michael makes when Phyllis says she is a professional softball player kills me every time.

LHIOB said:

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I dont quote the Office as much as other shows but I
do use this one quite a bit

Beer me that CD

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The related, "Lord, Beer me strength" is a staple in our house.

It's hard to look past the scene where Kevin has the skin cancer scare.

Kevin: It's negative!
Michael: God... we're gonna beat this, OK? C'mere...
[later, in interview]
Michael: Well apparently in the medicine community, negative means 'good.' Which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community that would be chaos.

There has been a lot of murder and a lot of intrigue...

Michael: I'd like everyone's attention, Christmas is canceled.
Stanley: You can't cancel a holiday.
Michael: Give it up Stanley or you'll lose New Years.
Stanley: What does that mean.
Michael: Jim, take new years (breaking up) away from Stanley.

From Phyllis' Wedding




Priest: And do you, Phyllis, take Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration, to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Michael: Hi, I'm Michael Scott and for the next forty minutes, I'm going to be your tour guide through the lives of Phyllis Lapin and Bob Vance. One of the great, seemingly impossible, love stories of our time. My name is Michael Scott. Webster's Dictionary defines "wedding" as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Well, you know something. I think you guys are two metals. Gold medals. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Michael Scott, Phyllis' boss. To quote from The Princess Bride "Mawige...

That entire episode is a train wreck

Pahdz said:

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That entire episode is a train wreck

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It reminds me a lot of a wedding I went to in 2002. My roommate for 2 years at A&M and I had gotten into a fistfight our sophomore year living at Aston and seen each other only 2-3 times between graduating in 1996 and him getting married in 2002. We let bygones be bygones and he asked me to be a groomsman. He got married in Salt Lake City at this insane looking country club that had decorations straight out of Alice in Wonderland.

Highlights of the wedding

1. The groom and the other groomsmen went out drinking the night before ( I don't drink) and didn't get back until 6 a.m. for a 11 a.m. wedding. We were all supposed to be there for pictures at 10 a.m., he and the other 2 groomsmen didn't show up until 11:45 a.m. and were half-dressed and he had not shaven.

2. One of the bride's aunts tripped on her own high heels and fell into a small pool of water which contained a very unhappy swan.

3. One of the bridesmaids got food poisoning and couldn't make the ceremony, which led to me walking down this long line of stone steps escorting no one but myself. I did some six-gun fingers to cheer the crowd up.

4. The bride refused to look at the groom throughout the ceremony and did not allow herself to be kissed afterwards because she was so pissed about his late arrival.

5. The groom's older sister frigging destroyed him in her "toast" for showing up late. And it was as awesome as Michael's 40-minute highlight of Bob and Phyllis.

6. The best-looking bridesmaid was also in the bottom 3 dumbest people I've ever met. She had driven from California to Utah for the wedding, and during that drive had realized that Las Vegas was not located in California as she had previously thought. I was flying back to Houston after the wedding and she told me that she would not risk getting on a plane because she heard the Taliban had bazookas they were using to shoot down American passenger planes. I told her that if there Taliban agents hanging around the SLC airport to take down a 5 p.m. flight from there to Houston, I would die a patriot. She looked perplexed.

Michael: If you lay a finger on Phyllis I'll kill you.
Bob Vance: If you lay a finger on Phyllis I'll kill you.
Michael: Alright...So there will be no fingers laid on Phyllis.

I forgot about this from the Branch Merger episode. Stanley in a nutshell.



More Michael and Tobey





And this is just appealing.

I have done this in the office a couple of times lol

Dwight: Once I brought in a duck. To prepare for lunch. And, people got...upset. Apparently, they got attached to the duck, and didn't want to see it killed.

Quote:

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Dwight Schrute : ID badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

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Dwight: My father's name was Dwight Schrute. My grandfather's name was Dwight Schrute. His father's name... Dwide Schrude. Amish.

Quote:

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Kelly: We're back, baby. They tried to keep us apart, but they couldn't. It was like destiny.

Ryan: I realized that for whatever reason I... just couldn't do better than Kelly.

Kelly: Awwwwh.

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Quote:

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Ryan: I know that I haven't always treated you the way that you, for whatever reason, feel you deserve to be treated. But I want to marry you, Kelly Kapoor. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, and probably.

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Definitely feel this

double aught said:

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White people, amirite?

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Pippity poppity give me the zoppity

AGCP3 said:

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double aught said:

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White people, amirite?

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Pippity poppity give me the zoppity

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Dinkin flicka

Giving Robert California some love

Andy:

Quote:

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When I was in college, I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was "Puke." I would chug a fifth of So-Co, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, boot, rally, more So-Co, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I'd let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me "Ace." It was totally awesome. I got straight B's. They called me "Buzz."

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bonfarr said:

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My favorite is the Fundle Bundle episode where we see the clip of Michael as a little boy, in one instant you get to the root of Michael's heart and personality.

Quote:

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Ed R. Meow: Hi Michael, I'm Ed. What's your favorite subject at school?

Little Michael: Recess.

Ed R. Meow: Recess. So, tell me, what do you wanna be when you grow up?

Little Michael: I wanna be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends. And no one can say no to being my friend.

(The Cat puppet looks stupefied and speechless and just looks into the camera)

Ed R. Meow: Uh...oh, okay. Well, nice talking with you, Michael. Back to you Ms. Trudy.

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I got my kids hooked on The Office and several episodes are a daily thing now and I'm ok with it. I identify with this line from Pam.

I Have Spoken said:

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Quote:

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When I was in college, I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was "Puke." I would chug a fifth of So-Co, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, boot, rally, more So-Co, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I'd let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me "Ace." It was totally awesome. I got straight B's. They called me "Buzz."

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You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk. Waitresses hot. Football Cornell/Hosfstra. Slaughter. Then quick nap at my place and then we hit the tizzown.

Sorry i annoyed you with my FRIENDSHIP!!