Here's what the rest of the season looks like for King Donkey as he goes after history
Sept 14-16 @ Baltimore
Really good chances to make the magic happen here. Even though Baltimore was eliminated from the playoff chase on May 28, Joey has been amazing against them, going 2 for 28 (.071) with 13 strikeouts - 46.4% strikeout rate. Since he was with the Rangers most of the year, he hasn't played at Camden Yards this year.
Sept 17-19 home vs. Cleveland
As Queen Elsa would say, this will be into the unknown for Joey because he somehow hasn't played against the Guardians all year. He has been spectacular at Yankee Stadium, though. 11 for 69 with 40 strikeouts, a 58% strikeout rate.
Sept 20-22 home vs. Texas (THE IRONY)
Oh the twisted hand of fate! The Rangers will be aspiring to lock up that #2 or #3 draft pick for 2022 by this time, and the Yankees will be madly flailing to stay in the wildcard race. This reminds me of the time at the Quidditch World Cup where Bulgaria played Ireland in the final. Ireland clearly had the better side, but Bulgaria had Viktor Krum at Seeker - the best player in the world. Fred and George Weasley bet on Ireland to win, but for Krum to get the Golden Snitch, and Ludo Bagman foolishly took the bet. Sure enough, Krum grabbed the Snitch even though Bulgaria was losing because he didn't want it to be a blowout. Same deal going on here, you've got the greatest strikeout artist in the game going up against a team that has been testing positive as allergic to winning for half a decade. Can Joey strikeout a lot but the Rangers still keep losing? I smell a 30 fo 30 coming.
Sept. 24-26 @ Boston
I was in Boston two months ago and that town had Gallo Fever, which is like Yellow Fever, but less throwing up pus. Why? Because the Red Sox have this series circled on the calendar as one of their last shots to make the playoffs and Joey Gallo is the fount of that hope. Why? Because he is hitting .130 against them this year and has struck out 14 times in 23 at-bats, an incredible 60.8% whiff rate.
Sept. 28-30 @ Toronto
Guess what just got exported north of the border? The single-season strikeout chase! Joey has yet to play at Rogers Centre this year, and damn you Canada with your stupid spellings. That's why your team hasn't won the World Series in 28 years, because you want to put the r before the e. Anyway, Joey is incredibly great vs. the Blue Jays - and why do they have to be BLUE - can't we celebrate all Jays? Anyway, he's 3 for 28 against them (.107) with 15 strikeouts.
Oct. 1-3 home vs. Tampa Bay
It's end of the year as we know it - and Joey feels nervous. Why? Because in the greatest statistical anomaly of all time, the Tampa Bay Rays, who lead the AL with 89 wins and are in the top 5 in ERA, are Joey Gallo's beetch. He's got a .300 batting average against them this year (6 for 20) and has an OPS of .967 against them. The only teams he better against are Kansas City, who is just terrible, and the A's. He does have 8 strikeouts in 20 at-bats against the Rays, but we don't want it coming down to that.