You just can't make this stuff up....wtf
Longhorn coach Jeff Banks' stripper girlfriend tweeting at recruits
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Last: 3 yr ago by socalpoohah
Year of the Germaphobe
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Think tu let's Banks go over this? This the kind of attention the program doesn't want? This who you want sitting down in living rooms meeting with mama?
Kenneth_2003 said:
Think tu let's Banks go over this? This the kind of attention the program doesn't want? This who you want sitting down in living rooms meeting with mama?
He has hurt his chances at a top job significantly is my guess. Of course Freeze is the HC at Liberty so anything is possible.
Yep here are some of my favorites:Billy Foster said:
Lots great comments on Surly Horns about this.
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Does that monkey have any eligibility left?
That's the kind of nastiness we've been missing on the o-line.
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Stripper is as stripper does.
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No way the monkey maimed the kid as bad as she does the English language.
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Maybe the monkey needs to coach defense? She (monkey) certainly knows how to initiate contact with an opponent.
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At this point I only follow Texas Football for the drama. It's a much more entertaining product than whatever it is we put on the field.
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The best part about this saga so far is how seemingly reasonable her defense of the situation is. It wouldn't be a story if it was a dog that nipped a kid wandering into the backyard.
But, you know, she's a stripper and it's a monkey.
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This is the happiest I've been about Texas football since about halftime of the OU game. The only disappointment is that Sark didn't have to spend his entire press conference answering questions about it.
That's only from the first two pages. Go over there and read it. Better than any meltdown thread yet!Quote:
and those SEC ****ers said we weren't ready.
WillieBrownsBratwurstBun said:
Woof.
Is this really her? Looks like two pigs fighting' under a blanket!
Not with something leaking that much oil. I don't think that car was well maintained. It barely squeaked through state inspection ever year
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Let's be honest, how many of us would rather be bitten by a monkey if it meant we didn't have to watch that fake punt attempt against Baylor?
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I'm starting to think this coaching staff has the intelligence of a toaster.
.West Point Aggie said:WillieBrownsBratwurstBun said:
Woof.
Is this really her? Looks like two pigs fighting' under a blanket!
You'd have to be super horny to shack up with that! Beer goggles aren't even in question. Loser
Any self respecting stadium DJ from an opposing host team would be playing warm up music like Peter Gabriel's Spank the Monkey, or Skid Row's Monkey Business.
Can you hear me Iowa State?
Can you hear me Iowa State?
Old Sarge said:
Any self respecting stadium DJ from an opposing host team would be playing warm up music like Peter Gabriel's Spank the Monkey, or Skid Row's Monkey Business.
Can you hear me Iowa State?
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At least if we lose to ISU, we can blame it on the monkey distraction
Geriatric Punk said:
Weird thread is weird.
I feel like there is a ton of hypocrisy here.
Let he who hasn't left his family for an attack-monkey owning stripper, cast the first stone.
Kenneth_2003 said:Old Sarge said:
Any self respecting stadium DJ from an opposing host team would be playing warm up music like Peter Gabriel's Spank the Monkey, or Skid Row's Monkey Business.
Can you hear me Iowa State?Quote:
At least if we lose to ISU, we can blame it on the monkey distraction
Brass Monkey
https://12thman.com/sports/football/roster/coaches/jeff-banks/790
https://vault.si.com/vault/2003/05/12/how-he-met-his-destiny-at-a-strip-club-mike-price-fired
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Banks has deep connections to one of head coach Kevin Sumlin's coaching mentors, Mike Price, both as a player at Washington State and an assistant coach at UTEP.
https://vault.si.com/vault/2003/05/12/how-he-met-his-destiny-at-a-strip-club-mike-price-fired
holy sh** I haven't laughed this hard in awhile.
****ing dumpster fire in Austin.
****ing dumpster fire in Austin.
He left his wife and four kids for this. Truly, this is the epitome of you reap what you sow. Banks is an absolute scumbag.
Tamu_mgm said:
He left his wife and four kids for this. Truly, this is the epitome of you reap what you sow. Banks is an absolute scumbag.
When a man leaves his wife and kids I usually think it is pretty damned sorry given how hard it is on the kids and the issues and problems it causes for them. However I am never judgmental as there is always two sides to the story and you just don't know, it could be the wife deserves most of the blame..............................
in this case I'm pretty sure we know that Jeff is just a total P.O.S. loser.
First thought:
I think your spot on. His decision making processes are seriously lacking. Don't forget, we suspended him for 2 weeks in 2016 following their presentation at the annual Chalk Talk for Women fundraiser.Jarrin' Jay said:Tamu_mgm said:
He left his wife and four kids for this. Truly, this is the epitome of you reap what you sow. Banks is an absolute scumbag.
When a man leaves his wife and kids I usually think it is pretty damned sorry given how hard it is on the kids and the issues and problems it causes for them. However I am never judgmental as there is always two sides to the story and you just don't know, it could be the wife deserves most of the blame..............................
in this case I'm pretty sure we know that Jeff is just a total P.O.S. loser.
https://www.si.com/college/2016/07/30/texas-am-suspends-assistants-jim-turner-jeff-banks-chalk-talk-presentation
I had forgotten about this.
What a clueless moron
What a clueless moron
Makes me wonder how often Saban had to keep him from doing stupid things while he was at 'bama
dave94 said:
She does not look that nice at all as that all you need to add about 200 more pounds to the stripper
BostonAg74 said:
https://12thman.com/sports/football/roster/coaches/jeff-banks/790Quote:
Banks has deep connections to one of head coach Kevin Sumlin's coaching mentors, Mike Price, both as a player at Washington State and an assistant coach at UTEP.
https://vault.si.com/vault/2003/05/12/how-he-met-his-destiny-at-a-strip-club-mike-price-fired
I barely remember this story. This is wild even by college football standards. Even the Hugh Freeze scandal didn't include play by play accounts from the prostitutes themselves. That is a wild read.
Like this?SgtBarbarossa said:
Makes me wonder how often Saban had to keep him from doing stupid things while he was at 'bama
He also gets paid over $1 million a year. Making him the highest paid ST coach in FBS. The next highest, $500k. He makes double than the next guy!!!!
Also anyone have the gif of his failed fake punt vs Baylor. 4th and 13 and he called a punter run for the first down. I think he got 2 yards.
Talk about a rough week for Coach Banks
Also anyone have the gif of his failed fake punt vs Baylor. 4th and 13 and he called a punter run for the first down. I think he got 2 yards.
Talk about a rough week for Coach Banks
SgtBarbarossa said:
Makes me wonder how often Saban had to keep him from doing stupid things while he was at 'bama
Saban controls everything in the state of Alabama. So he could keep this under wraps for awhile. But I'm guessing when Sark too the sip job, Saban told him to take Banks with him
New sip mascot
umlangBattleGrackle said:
New sip mascot
How did I forget about this clown show at Chalk Talk?!?
It makes you wonder just how good of a coach/recruiter he actually is if the programs he has worked for were able to look past his obviously terrible off-the-field decision making abilities. SMH
It makes you wonder just how good of a coach/recruiter he actually is if the programs he has worked for were able to look past his obviously terrible off-the-field decision making abilities. SMH
This guy has spent his entire coaching career at relatively isolated college towns. Can you even imagine the trouble he can get into at a place with all the temptations of Austin? I suspect that the stuff we don't know about Jeff Banks would be a goldmine for any enterprising reporter.
And I think Johnny should tweet out an offer to Jeff Banks to be his life coach. Just because.
And I think Johnny should tweet out an offer to Jeff Banks to be his life coach. Just because.
Lol at this tale from surly:
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So one of my Alabama buddies called this morning to cackle about this. We got to talking and I forgot about the ATM story he told me.
In Sumlin's last year, Banks and like 5 of the other coaches were all going through divorces or heading there. It was obviously a program and people in disarray. Fisher arrives in the aftermath and he had to "fix" a part of their offices. Apparently, Sumlin had contractors come in at some point and overhaul an area that was either extra space or conference rooms or some ***** They had shag carpeting brought in, a stripper pole installed, a bar, club lighting, and numerous partitioned areas with couches.
Yeah, Sumlin built a private strip club in the ATM athletic facilities. They began bussing in strippers from Houston and specifically, the main club of choice is the one up 290 towards the Highway 6 cutoff. I can't remember the name of it but one of you degenerates will know.
How did Banks and "Dani" meet and begin dating? You guessed it. She was regularly coming in to dance for major $$ at Club Kyle. Dude dumped his wife and 3-4 kids for her and promptly left them back in BCS when he got the call to go to Bama.
Fisher shows up and, numerous obvious jokes aside, looks around and says "what in the ****?" and eventually had the area remodeled to normal office confines.
Another one - The Pole Assassin came to the family Christmas party held by the Sabans a few years ago dressed as a ****ty Stripper Elf. This is a family gathering for the team's players, families, and employees/spouses/kids held in the middle of the day shortly after the SEC title game and the playoffs. They have a Santa there. She proceeds to sit in Santa's lap by herself with numerous photos taken. Along with all of the other photos from the photographer that day, they were posted in the team admin's photo cloud for family members to download the ones of their own family. "Mrs. Terry", who I assume is Saban's wife, goes in to find all of the Pole Assassin photos and they were promptly deleted.
The Pole Assassin apparently had numerous monkey incidents while in Tuscaloosa that I don't think we realized because they're not referenced to her and Banks, but she's apparently the source for the monkey business. You can google "Bama Monkey" and get your fix. Below are a couple of links from there:
https://www.cbs42.com/news/video-of-bama-monkey-in-tuscaloosa-goes-viral/
https://www.al.com/life/2020/08/bama-monkey-video-just-might-make-you-say-roll-tide.html
Just keeps getting better and better
2025 sure started off with a bang.
A strip club in A&M Athletics facilities seems a little far fetched to me. Cool story, but I'm not sure I buy it.
Although, there's enough other crazy azz details to this story, I guess I shouldn't rule anything out.
Although, there's enough other crazy azz details to this story, I guess I shouldn't rule anything out.
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