IMO its important to interact with people with differing viewpoints, but if they'd easily offend each other its probably not best to live with them. I'd hate to dread going home because the environment is always testy/heated/awkward etc.

Kinda like the old idiom of "Don't S*** where your eat"

Rossticus said:

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80sGeorge said:

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Friends daughter just withdrew from her school after freshman fall semester for this. Trying to get into A&M.

And before anyone jumps to "lack of tolerance" conclusions she was recruited to a sports team. The team was vast majority gay. She was subjected to uncomfortable situations in the dorm room as well as a very uncomfortable team dynamic. Coaches did nothing to help.

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If you're uncomfortable around lesbians then you're probably not going to make it in women's sports. Lesbians aren't going to tone it down for the minority of straight girls.

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Absolutely. The biggest issues were that it was covered up in recruiting. Well that and multiple roommate trying to have relations while she was in the room.

No way I would have anything in common with a liberal dbag let alone having to share a living space with one..Get your child out now.

I'm an atheist libertarian, meaning I'm pretty liberal socially but the purpose of college is for your child to get the skills necessary for a career.

Not knowing your child you have to make a determination if this situation will hinder them in that pursuit. If it will be a hindrance based on your child's psychology, then try to get a new roommate. If it will not be a hindrance then it will probably be positive experience.

This advice holds regardless of the facts of the roommate. If the roommate will be an major hindrance to your child succeeding (maybe they party a lot, snore loudly, do drugs, etc) then help them find a new roommate.

Part of college is about meeting and interacting with people who are different but it doesn't have to be about living with them if it cause mental anguish. College is hard enough on an 18 year old as it is.

kb2001 said:

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Nothing good can come from that. If the roommate ever gets upset about anything, he/she can say any lie they want, and your child will face an abundance of scorn and retribution no matter what the truth is. If this person is militantly liberal on social media, then she most likely will have no qualms about publicly trashing your child.

If the roommate is a slob, and your child asks her to clean up her mess, "my nazi roomate expects me to be the maid around here just because I'm gay", and there's nothing that can be done to counter that attack.

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You're making blanket negative assumptions about someone you don't know. No different than a black person did the same about a white person, or white person about a black person, a liberal about a conservative.

That line of thinking a slippery slope fallacy. I've know plenty of militant Libs throughout my life that I disagree with. We've had heated disagreements. Neither they nor myself have ever trashed, set-up, or sabotaged the other.

I'd say that your fear may be the exception rather than the rule.

CinchAG97 said:

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What would you do?

Child is a senior going to college several hours away from home. No one from high school attending the same college, so child gets assigned a roommate by the University.

Child finally finds assigned roommate on social media. Apparently, based on posts, assigned roommate is gay and apparently militantly liberal.

My child has been raised in a conservative Christian home and holds conservative values.

Is this an untenable situation where we should urgently seek a roommate change or find a new living situation? Or am I overreacting?

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I'm surprised that the university does not offer a questionnaire to increase the probability of communicability. However, a large part of college is exposing you to different perspectives and broadening your horizons. My .02, have your daughter reach out to her and see if they can communicate by phone, talk it over and see if they might be compatible. If not, then go to the university and request a reassignment; roommate, not gender

If the roommate spends all their time in the commons playing dungeon and dragons and practicing juggling then it's a win because they are never in their room. That was my experience with a random room mate.

As stated above, the operative word in this scenario is "militant". Not gay, binary, or liberal.

We have seen multiple instances of the militant left having no qualms whatsoever destroying the lives of those they oppose, and not respecting other viewpoints. (See the latest dustup at Yale Law School over a forum designed to promote exchange of ideas.)

The risk associated with subjecting your child to a militant activist has nothing to do with an exchange of ideas, or tolerance. It would be the risk of a negative impact on the educational experience; and, as also stated above, the risk of being doxxed on social media and being targeted because they dared to disagree with the militant left narrative.

Personally, I would take steps to mitigate that risk.

Random freshman roommates are awesome. At risk of revealing identity, I had a great experience.

Roll back the clock a few years and I'm an incoming freshman, also a conservative Christian. Facebook has just been invented, I'm not on it. Connect with the guy over the phone, seems kind of hippie weird, should be a junior or senior by age but is a sophomore in credits, whatever. I'll bring a fridge, he brings a microwave, yada yada.

About a week before move-in week, he asks if I mind spending the first night elsewhere. He hasn't seen his girlfriend all summer & such. Weird ask, but it's college, and I've got a high school buddy in town who will let me crash. Come back late the next morning, 10/11ish. The entire room is covered in plastic wrap/garbage bags. I'm talking furniture, floors, closet, TV, computers. Apparently they were into to some weird stuff. I could tell it was going to be a long year. I hear a guy down the hall wasn't getting along with his roommate and we worked out a swap with the RD.

A week later, my new random roommate decides he's joining the Corps, so I now have a private room. Being a private room and it's now 2 or 3 weeks into the semester, surely no one is transferring in. I moved the beds together to make a California King, and bring in a couch.

I leave town a few weekends later and come back on a Sunday evening and there's a kid curled up on the couch using a towel as a blanket. Come to find out, the hurricane Katrina refugees from UNO had been staying 4 or 5 to a study corral for the last few weeks, and my RD forgot that there was an open spot in my room. Didn't have it in me then, but it would have been funny to convince my new (now 3rd) random roommate that the room really did only have 1 bed but he was welcome to sleep on the couch. It was a few days later when I got the opportunity to educate him - frozen fish sticks do not store well in a dorm fridge, nor is cooking them in a microwave good bull.

My youngest daughter elected to take the scholarship $$$ and is going to LSU for Nursing.

Has 3 roommates. 2 staunch pro-life conservative girls. 1 girl from Hungary who is devout Orthodox.

No worries here other than Baton Rouge being crime ridden.

GAC06 said:

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Sounds like a learning opportunity

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Yes, learn how to find a new roommate.

Yes, college is a time to learn opposing viewpoints and learn to defend your own.

That doesn't mean you need to live with an alt lifestyle in your own dorm room. Hell, I wouldn't want my kid in a dorm situation with hetero roommate who defined themselves by their sexuality or brought sex partners back to the dorm. A student needs to to be able to find a sanctuary in their residence, especially as a freshman. Don't compound what's already a big change by putting their value system on trial 24/7.

I'd find a new living arrangement.

Whats going to happen when the gay liberal finds out his roommate is an evil conservative your kids life is gonna be hell?..Gay leftist aren't really tolerant of dissenting opinions.

CinchAG97 said:

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HTownAg98 said:

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Your child is going to have to learn to deal with people that aren't like them, and will share little or no commonalities. It's called growing up and being an adult. His roommate will likely be going through the same thing. Unless it becomes untenable because of pressure from the roommate to do certain things that makes him uncomfortable, you should let them figure it out on their own. That's another thing that's called being an adult.

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Having to interact with gay people in general life or work situations is completely different than being forced to live with someone who is gay.

So those with daughters who are "cool" with this, you'd be OK with them being forced to live with a heterosexual boy? It'd be a "learning experience" and they would benefit from being around someone who is "different" from them, right?

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You're making an assumption that it won't work without letting two adults see if they're ok with rooming with someone who's different than them. Personally, I would have rather had a gay roommate that kept to themselves as opposed to the roommate I had that was calling his girlfriend in Hawaii at 2:00 in the morning and talking for hours on end.
Your boy/girl roommate situation is ridiculous and shouldn't be taken seriously.

Rockdoc said:

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Unless I missed it, what is your child's reaction to this situation? If not freaking out, see if it works out. If it's untenable, deal with it then.

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We are going to talk about it tonight as a family and child will be the ultimate decision maker. I am actually interested to see what they have to say. It may be me and spouse overreacting more than child. We will see.

Could you imagine being roommates with Aggie Smollet? That dude didn't care who's life he might ruin with a false hate hoax.

Gay roommate, no problem.

Liberal roommate, good learning experience.

Roommate who wouldn't blink at ruining someone's life because they are unable to win an argument so they defer to proving conservatives are racist and homophobe, that could alter your child's life.

I think it depends on the type of dorm room.

If it is an apartment like dorm where you have your own room, but just share living space then I think it will not be a problem.

If they are sharing an actual room, then it depends on the kid.

If your son is uncomfortable with the situation, then I would advise your son to see if he can change rooms if he finds someone else he wants to live with.

This is what I did with my first roommate. I reached out to him. He was a devout Muslim and was more Liberal in his political leanings. Ended up being one of the nicest people I've ever met. His mom would even bring me servings of meals she made for him when she came to visit.

My second roommate in the same dorm aligned with me politically and we had a lot of the same interests. I caught him going through my stuff multiple times and ended up moving into an apartment after the first semester.

Here are some of the things I noticed about my kid as she winds down her first year of college.

• She spends very little time in her dorm. She literally only sleeps and showers there.
• Most of her study time is spent in study groups from her classes. Or she winds up booking at room at the library to study.
• She also has lots of extra things to do, like her on campus job and intramural basketball.
• I literally just asked her how often her and the roommate talk about politics or social issues. She said, "None. The things we talk about are about school...like our honors requirements, whose turn is it to buy paper towels, does she have any clorox wipes and before we left school we spend most of our time together talking about Ukraine. We literally never bring up politics or religion."

The real world for these kids is a lot like the real world outside of Texags and social media...normal.

80sGeorge said:

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Rossticus said:

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80sGeorge said:

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Friends daughter just withdrew from her school after freshman fall semester for this. Trying to get into A&M.

And before anyone jumps to "lack of tolerance" conclusions she was recruited to a sports team. The team was vast majority gay. She was subjected to uncomfortable situations in the dorm room as well as a very uncomfortable team dynamic. Coaches did nothing to help.

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If you're uncomfortable around lesbians then you're probably not going to make it in women's sports. Lesbians aren't going to tone it down for the minority of straight girls.

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Absolutely. The biggest issues were that it was covered up in recruiting. Well that and multiple roommate trying to have relations while she was in the room.

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Well, the relations issue is pretty much a standard college issue. As much an issue with straight people as gay people.

I've been a victim and an offender in my day. Some girl takes you back to her dark dorm after a party and you wake up in the morning to the realization that three other girls were in the dorm. And I won't even go into what I had to deal with from my roommates. Earplugs and pillow over the head.

Charpie said:

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Here are some of the things I noticed about my kid as she winds down her first year of college.

• She spends very little time in her dorm. She literally only sleeps and showers there.
• Most of her study time is spent in study groups from her classes. Or she winds up booking at room at the library to study.
• She also has lots of extra things to do, like her on campus job and intramural basketball.
• I literally just asked her how often her and the roommate talk about politics or social issues. She said, "None. The things we talk about are about school...like our honors requirements, whose turn is it to buy paper towels, does she have any clorox wipes and before we left school we spend most of our time together talking about Ukraine. We literally never bring up politics or religion."

The real world for these kids is a lot like the real world outside of Texags and social media...normal.

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Sounds like your kid's roommate is not militant.

My kid chooses not to engage with her. She's made that clear. My daughter knows what organizations she's in and who she hangs out with. My daughter just doesn't enage.

Unless they handing out Beto stickers and inviting your kid to go protest somewhere, this shouldn't be that big of a deal for any child to deal with.

Friends are probably the number 1 factor in success during college.

Valtrex11 said:

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combat wombat said:

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I wonder if the roommate has ever had a positive relationship with a real Christian? The Bible tells us to love one another. This could be a great opportunity for your child, it could be a challenge. It could be both.

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What else does the bible say about homosexuality?

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Very little, actually.

Valtrex11 said:

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agdoc2001 said:

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Nothing, college is about interacting with people different from ourselves, for better or worse.

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no its not who the hell made this line up?

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adults who understand that there are people out there who aren't exactly like us.

Rossticus said:

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Valtrex11 said:

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combat wombat said:

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I wonder if the roommate has ever had a positive relationship with a real Christian? The Bible tells us to love one another. This could be a great opportunity for your child, it could be a challenge. It could be both.

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What else does the bible say about homosexuality?

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Very little, actually.

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so what does it say?

Let your kid make his own decisions, thats what they need to do when they are 18. All of the gay people I know respect I am not gay and treat me like a normal person, just like I treat them.

black_ice said:

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Exactly. The militant gay might sexually fantasize about your son. Might even take secret photos of him. Get him out of there ASAP.

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He might sprout fangs, and horns, and eat his soul I suppose. You don't know many gay people, do you? No different than being co-Ed roommates with someone you're not attracted to.

larry culpepper said:

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Valtrex11 said:

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agdoc2001 said:

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Nothing, college is about interacting with people different from ourselves, for better or worse.

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no its not who the hell made this line up?

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adults who understand that there are people out there who aren't exactly like us.

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thats a pleasant fiction

combat wombat said:

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I wonder if the roommate has ever had a positive relationship with a real Christian? The Bible tells us to love one another. This could be a great opportunity for your child, it could be a challenge. It could be both.

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The biggest problem that Christians have relating to homosexuals is the fact that homosexuals often cannot separate action from person. We believe homosexuality is a sin, something God condemns and will send someone to hell for. The latter of course is true for all sin and in God's eyes we're all sinners regardless of which sins we commit. It is the old adage, "love the sinner, hate the sin."

If I ask you this question, "what are you?" how will you answer?

You might say I'm an American, a Texan, a father, a mother, a son, a daughter, a brother, a sister, a grandfather, etc. etc. etc.

If you ask a homosexual that question, almost every single time the answer is "I'm a gay man" or "I'm a lesbian." They define their existence by whom they have sex with beyond anything else, therefore they see hating sinful actions they engage in as hating them as a person.

Of course not all do and can understand people do not hate them because they do not agree with or approve of their lifestyle. Those are the ones who just go about their lives like most other people, where the ones who don't scream 24/7 about how horrible Christians are, how mean they are to homosexuals, and rant and rave online about just how bad they have it in their mind.

I think a parent interjecting themselves and doing something rash because a situation scares them is pretty short sighted. From the OP, it sounds like this is exactly a situation the kid needs judging by how he may be raised. The world is full of people who are different and I think you fail as a parent by keeping your kid in a bubble of safety from scary things that you've projected onto them.

You should give it a semester. Would you rather he be rooming with a heterosexual male that drinks all day and brings loose women to the room instead? I mean, I'm kind of shocked the Op was ever made. It's pretty sad.

If we are going to pivot to the religious aspect because your brand of religion only accepts certain varieties of sinners and not others, you should go see your priest or minister and have some quality time with someone more knowledgeable about Christianity than yourself. Just my opinion.

Besides ALL of that, you know nothing about him aside from some bull crap on Facebook. I know a lot of people that act way different than they seem from Facebook. I know with some degree of certainty what people say on here vs how they act in real life is totally different because they'd get their face punched in in real life and know better than to act like fools.

OP, look at this glass half full. A gay roommate means the place is likely to stay cleaner and better organized. Most 18 year old dudes are slobs.

HTownAg98 said:

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Your child is going to have to learn to deal with people that aren't like them, and will share little or no commonalities. It's called growing up and being an adult. His roommate will likely be going through the same thing. Unless it becomes untenable because of pressure from the roommate to do certain things that makes him uncomfortable, you should let them figure it out on their own. That's another thing that's called being an adult.

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worst advice of the week!
yes have to deal with people that are different - don't have to share a 12 x 15 room with them.

get a change immediately.

Sarge 91 said:

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Be salt and light.

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Doesn't mean that you live in a dorm room with them.

Are you sure they weren't secretly attracted to you and took pictures of you? Apparently, that's a real thing that happens.