What would you do?

Child is a senior going to college several hours away from home. No one from high school attending the same college, so child gets assigned a roommate by the University.

Child finally finds assigned roommate on social media. Apparently, based on posts, assigned roommate is gay and apparently militantly liberal.

My child has been raised in a conservative Christian home and holds conservative values.

Is this an untenable situation where we should urgently seek a roommate change or find a new living situation? Or am I overreacting?

ugggh a gay roommate thats gonna be unpleasant.

Request a different roommate or get him an apartment off campus.

Noting good is going to come from that.

And in before the hijack and derail.

Without knowing your kid I can't say much.

If its going to be a distraction from learning then something should be done.

Sounds like a learning opportunity

Be salt and light.

CinchAG97 said:

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What would you do?

Child is a senior going to college several hours away from home. No one from high school attending the same college, so child gets assigned a roommate by the University.

Child finally finds assigned roommate on social media. Apparently, based on posts, assigned roommate is gay and apparently militantly liberal.

My child has been raised in a conservative Christian home and holds conservative values.

Is this an untenable situation where we should urgently seek a roommate change or find a new living situation? Or am I overreacting?

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I would probably expand on the militantly. I wouldn't want my kid in that situation but explaining that to the University will probably be... difficult. If the other kid has been posting a lot of offensive stuff that might be something you could forward as part of why you're requesting a different roommate or living situation.

Edit: I might also see if you can find board members or others at the University that might be allies in this, you never know.

Your child is going to have to learn to deal with people that aren't like them, and will share little or no commonalities. It's called growing up and being an adult. His roommate will likely be going through the same thing. Unless it becomes untenable because of pressure from the roommate to do certain things that makes him uncomfortable, you should let them figure it out on their own. That's another thing that's called being an adult.

Nothing, college is about interacting with people different from ourselves, for better or worse.

Friends daughter just withdrew from her school after freshman fall semester for this. Trying to get into A&M.

And before anyone jumps to "lack of tolerance" conclusions she was recruited to a sports team. The team was vast majority gay. She was subjected to uncomfortable situations in the dorm room as well as a very uncomfortable team dynamic. Coaches did nothing to help.

agdoc2001 said:

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Nothing, college is about interacting with people different from ourselves, for better or worse.

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no its not who the hell made this line up?

For the gay guy?

Now is a good time to begin learning how to deal with people from different backgrounds, with different perspectives. Give it a semester. Your kid won't be able to insulate themselves at will throughout the rest of their life so now is a good time to develop effective people skills. Will ultimately benefit them. I know that a parent's first impulse is protective but have faith in your child and what you've taught them.

I would look for a new roommate.

Valtrex11 said:

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agdoc2001 said:

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Nothing, college is about interacting with people different from ourselves, for better or worse.

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no its not who the hell made this line up?

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Well adjusted individuals.

Nothing good can come from that. If the roommate ever gets upset about anything, he/she can say any lie they want, and your child will face an abundance of scorn and retribution no matter what the truth is. If this person is militantly liberal on social media, then she most likely will have no qualms about publicly trashing your child.

If the roommate is a slob, and your child asks her to clean up her mess, "my nazi roomate expects me to be the maid around here just because I'm gay", and there's nothing that can be done to counter that attack.

HTownAg98 said:

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Your child is going to have to learn to deal with people that aren't like them, and will share little or no commonalities. It's called growing up and being an adult. His roommate will likely be going through the same thing. Unless it becomes untenable because of pressure from the roommate to do certain things that makes him uncomfortable, you should let them figure it out on their own. That's another thing that's called being an adult.

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Living in a world with vastly different people is one thing, living with them as a roommate is another.

OP, get him/her out of this situation - - not overreacting at all.

You know the university did that on purpose, right?

Considering any political disagreement can cause disciplinary issues with the school now days, I would avoid such situations if at all possible. No issue with differences of opinion, lifestyle, etc., but the militancy of the modern left is toxic, and I would not want that in any of my relative's lives. The modern university is so far gone down that path, I regularly point out to people that there are better options out there if what you want to do does not need specific schooling i.e. STEM majors.

Your "child" is an adult now, let them make their own decisions about what they will and won't tolerate.

If they can put themselves in large amounts of debt, make decisions about their future, are legally accountable under the law etc etc, they need to learn how to deal with social pressures like that...

80sGeorge said:

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Friends daughter just withdrew from her school after freshman fall semester for this. Trying to get into A&M.

And before anyone jumps to "lack of tolerance" conclusions she was recruited to a sports team. The team was vast majority gay. She was subjected to uncomfortable situations in the dorm room as well as a very uncomfortable team dynamic. Coaches did nothing to help.

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If you're uncomfortable around lesbians then you're probably not going to make it in women's sports. Lesbians aren't going to tone it down for the minority of straight girls.

Sounds like a good opportunity for roommate to meet a kind and caring person to change how they perceive the people who disagree with them.

I agree with above posters. It's good to learn to get along with those completely the opposite of us, and even get them to like us because it's a vital tool in the real world and corporate success.

Get your kid the hell out of there. Nothing good is gonna happen.

Child post MAGA all over social media. Roomate requests change. Problem solved...

I wouldn't worry about it, OP. This assuming your kid is grounded and secure in himself and his beliefs.

I would try to get a change. Freshman in college is a pretty huge life change. At least start the conversation with the school.

There is a difference between a gay roommate and a militant, well, really, anything. If the roommate is chill all will be good, regairdless. But, if he/she finds their value in life from canceling people that disagree with them,, it could be a problem. Gay isn't really the issue here. Militant would be.

HTownAg98 said:

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Your child is going to have to learn to deal with people that aren't like them, and will share little or no commonalities. It's called growing up and being an adult. His roommate will likely be going through the same thing. Unless it becomes untenable because of pressure from the roommate to do certain things that makes him uncomfortable, you should let them figure it out on their own. That's another thing that's called being an adult.

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Having to interact with gay people in general life or work situations is completely different than being forced to live with someone who is gay.

So those with daughters who are "cool" with this, you'd be OK with them being forced to live with a heterosexual boy? It'd be a "learning experience" and they would benefit from being around someone who is "different" from them, right?

I wonder if the roommate has ever had a positive relationship with a real Christian? The Bible tells us to love one another. This could be a great opportunity for your child, it could be a challenge. It could be both.

Ask for reassignment due to concerns over hateful social media history.

Don't even mention 'gay'

Unless I missed it, what is your child's reaction to this situation? If not freaking out, see if it works out. If it's untenable, deal with it then.

combat wombat said:

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I wonder if the roommate has ever had a positive relationship with a real Christian? The Bible tells us to love one another. This could be a great opportunity for your child, it could be a challenge. It could be both.

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What else does the bible say about homosexuality?

Does your kid care or is this your issue?

Big difference between dealing with someone and living with them!

Didn't see where this was answered, but is your kid cool with it? If it doesn't bother them then I'd say roll with it.