Favorite Lines from The Office (US)

116,498 Views | 797 Replies | Last: 3 yr ago by Jugstore Cowboy
HoustonAg2106
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investorAg83 said:

MuckRaker96 said:

Speaking of, we're also going to have to steal from the Dundies and do a hottest in/on the Office Bracket at some point, because I watched the second part of when Pam has a baby last night and Isabel showed up in that one.




Stripper nurse, boob job Jan, Dave and busters manager...who else?


Amy Adams, Deangelo's executive assistant Jordan, and Pam's other sister at the wedding
Fat Bib Fortuna
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investorAg83 said:

MuckRaker96 said:

Speaking of, we're also going to have to steal from the Dundies and do a hottest in/on the Office Bracket at some point, because I watched the second part of when Pam has a baby last night and Isabel showed up in that one.




Stripper nurse, boob job Jan, Dave and busters manager...who else?
Pam's other sister, Pam's Mom (I'm going to date her even harder now. I think you know what that means.)
Angela/Pam/Karen/Erin
Amy Adams - "Hot girl"
Toby's date for Phyillis's wedding who he met "at the gym"


CharlieBrown17
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investorAg83
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Forgot about nurse Angela
HoustonAg2106
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Don't forget about Pete's ex, Alice

FNG
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investorAg83 said:

Forgot about nurse Angela


They kept her dressed very conservatively but, but Schrute babies would have been happy.
FancyKetchup14
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Fat Bib Fortuna
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HoustonAg2106 said:

Don't forget about Pete's ex, Alice


Not only did I forget about her ex, I forgot about Pete.
MW03
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The receptionist at Sabre became the Toyota lady.

OldShadeOfBlue
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MuckRaker96 said:

One of the great accomplishments from my time dating my wife was getting her hooked on The Office early on (2008ish). We're DVRing and watching 2-4 every night thanks to TBS and Comedy Central, and even though I've seen most of them 5-10 times, you never get tired of some of the dialogue. Interested to hearing some of your favorites. Mine from recent episodes;

Ive listened to a few episodes of Pam & Angela's podcast, and it is really fun btw if you haven't heard of it.


Toby: I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But, if he did intend that, wow. Genius.

Creed - describing Roy's attack on Jim to Angela: I remember it was very late at night, like eleven, eleven-thirty. Big fella comes in, screaming about God knows what. I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute, grabs a can of hairspray and a lighter-


You're useless
Stringfellow Hawke
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Adding to the women of the Office of suggestions, I would like to add Val. And scene.

Gabe is talking to Toby about filling out paper work to date Val.

Toby: The form is only for serious relationships. What is Val's last name?

Gabe: I will tell you her last name tomorrow because tonight she will be screaming it.

Toby: she will be screaming her own name??




Pahdz
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I'd add Cathy, and the girl Andy dated for one season that made Erin jealous
FancyKetchup14
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Dwight:

The Schrutes have a word for when everything in a man's life comes together perfectly. Perfectenschlag. Right now, I am in it. I finally get a chance to prove myself to corporate. I am assembling a competent team. I am likely a father. I am so deep inside of perfectenschlag right now.
And, just to be clear, there is a second definition, "perfect pork anus", which I don't mean.
dbryanc87
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From the garage sale episode discussing the proposal:

Michael: I already have the ring. (casually pulls out a huge rock)
Pam: Holy ****! Is that real?!?
Michael: Yeah, they say 3 years salary
Bulldog73
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By the way, those of y'all who tweet, you should definitely be following Ryan Clark right now. He's a former NFL player who has never seen the show. Now he is live tweeting his reactions to the show. It's pretty great.


Archie86
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Identify theft is not funny, Jim.
Cuterebra
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Underrated, but I love the cold open with Dwight on the Swiss ball. Dwight knocking things off Jim's desk, his facial expressions, etc.

When Jim casually deflates it with the scissors and Dwight drops to the floor, I lose it every time.
Bulldog73
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Another plug for the Office Ladies podcast, but they said they shot that scene 14 times and 13 of them was a slow deflating with Dwight sinking. They were about to wrap, but since they had an extra ball, shot it one more time. Jim accidentally hit the seem, which made the ball burst & lead to one of the best cold opens out there.
Fat Bib Fortuna
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After I get the great 80s movie tournament done, office cold opens is next on my list.

These are all going to look AMAZING on my resume some day.
cp2011
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MuckRaker96 said:

After I get the great 80s movie tournament done, office cold opens is next on my list.

These are all going to look AMAZING on my resume some day.
Looking forward to Kevin's Chili in the 5/12 upset
double aught
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Bulldog73 said:

By the way, those of y'all who tweet, you should definitely be following Ryan Clark right now. He's a former NFL player who has never seen the show. Now he is live tweeting his reactions to the show. It's pretty great.



Good stuff.
Belton Ag
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Sorry if already posted:

Michael: Everybody in here. STAT. No time to lose. Cri-Man-Squa. F and C, doubletime.

Dwight: Cri-Man-Squa?

Michael: Crisis Management Squad.

Ryan: F and C, doubletime?

Michael: Front and Center. Twice as fast as you would normally go. Any other questions?

Jim: One more. Why are you talking like that?

Michael: To save time, Jim.

Karen: Actually I think you could make the argument that it wastes time.

Pam: Yeah, she has a good point. I mean, for example, with the last thing you said, by the time you explained it, it actually took up more time.
Humorous Username
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There is no need to apologize. I bet everything in here has been posted at least twice. This thread is great because you can come back to it and laugh at something you've seen before, just like The Office.
Orlando Ayala Cant Read
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I've got to make sure YouTube comes down to tape this - Michael Scott
Orlando Ayala Cant Read
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Urban Ag said:

Watched the season 7 episode tonight, first time, where Michael left for Colorado.

It's our 20th Anniversary today.

Man, that hit right in the feels. What an amazing show these people put together. I am actually glad we missed it back when. We were just too distracted with work and babies and it would have not been the same had we watched it then.

Honestly, this is our favorite thing ever produced on network tv.

I'm not sure there has ever been a television show that has aged as well as this, and whose value has seemingly gone up as the years have gone by. I appreciate each episode more and more for every viewing it gets and it never ever gets old . Remarkable how such a show was created, and remarkable how few shows (if any can achieve this).
Fat Bib Fortuna
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Watched the 2013 episode "Paper Airplane" last night. Wife and I had micro-preemie twins born January 2013, so pretty much every episode from then on out I'm aware of having watched it, but remember nothing.

Nellie: We are now down to an elite eight. Well, seven and Toby.
Definitely Not A Cop
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Episode 3 of SGN is out. I really like this podcast.
FancyKetchup14
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Season 3 Episode 18: "Cocktails" (Which evidently JJ Abrams directed)

When they're inside Wallace's house

Dwight: What's the square footage?
David: About 5,000.
Michael: Dwight, wow. That's not appropriate.
Dwight: It's a common question.
Michael: David, how much did this house cost?
COOL LASER FALCON
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'03ag
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Cold open where they're watching the Scranton Stranger in a low speed car chase

Andy: bet he wishes he had a hybrid right? 60mpg in the city.

Kevin: NO. I bet he wishes he was strangling someone.
Definitely Not A Cop
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Fat Bib Fortuna
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As I narrow the field for Hottest in the Office, let me just say that Stanley's daughter, who once taught Ryan how to text, has really grown up.

Fat Bib Fortuna
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I've made it to 29 candidates for the contest. I need 3 more to hit 32.

1. Jan (Melora Hardin)
2. Kelly (Mindy Kaling)
3. Holly (Amy Ryan)
4. Nellie (Catherine Tate)
5. Val (Ameenah Kaplan)
6. Jordan (Cody Horn)
7. Katy (Amy Adams)
8. Helene Beesly (Linda Purl)
9. Penny Beesley (Anna Camp)
10. Isabel (Kelen Coleman)
11. Carole (Nancy Carrell)
12. Jessica (Elanor Seigler)
13. Donna (Amy Pietz)
14. Fannie Schrute (Majandra Delfino)
15. Esther (Nora Kirkpatrick)
16. Justine (Erica Vittina Phillips)
17. Stacey (Trish Gates)
18. Lara (Sarah Chase)
19. Susan (Maura Tierney)
20. Brenda (Brenda Withers)
21. Elizabeth (Jackie Debatin)
22. Chair Model (April Eden)
23. Alice (Collette Wolfe)
24. Pam (Jenna Fischer)
25. Karen (Rashida Jones)
26. Angela (Anglea Kinsey)
27. Erin (Ellie Kempner)
28. Toby's Date for Phyllis's Wedding (Kassandra Nelson)
29. Cathy (Lindsey Broad)



Humorous Username
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What about the lady from the women's basketball team that hung out with Dwight at the bar on the Season 4 Episode "Night Out"?

Has she been mentioned?
Fat Bib Fortuna
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i need names. i found 29, yall can get the other 3
 
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