I think he used "resorbed", which makes it even funnier.Bunkhouse96 said:
Dwight-"I was a twin. I absorbed my twin in the womb, now I have the strength of a full grown man and a little baby."
I think he used "resorbed", which makes it even funnier.Bunkhouse96 said:
Dwight-"I was a twin. I absorbed my twin in the womb, now I have the strength of a full grown man and a little baby."
JABQ04 said:
Since the kids are now hooked my son uses this when he's had a long day (he's also in 2nd grade)
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I wouldn't mind being behind Jenna FischerJunkhead said:
No but I did see Jenna Fischer posting video of a guy a few rows in front of her on a plane watching The Office but he had no idea she was behind him.
Quote:
Dwight: Michael. Confession: I have done PDA in the office.
Michael: Thank you.
Dwight: I've had intercourse in the office.
Michael: All right.
Dwight: As has Angela!
Angela: Dwight!
Dwight: As has Ryan. As has Kelly. As has Meredith. As has Phyllis. As has Darryl. As has Creed. [Creed smiles and nods] As has Michael and as has Holly.
Kevin: As has Kevin!
Angela: With who?
Kevin: She goes to another school.
MuckRaker96 said:I wouldn't mind being behind Jenna FischerJunkhead said:
No but I did see Jenna Fischer posting video of a guy a few rows in front of her on a plane watching The Office but he had no idea she was behind him.
schmendeler said:MuckRaker96 said:I wouldn't mind being behind Jenna FischerJunkhead said:
No but I did see Jenna Fischer posting video of a guy a few rows in front of her on a plane watching The Office but he had no idea she was behind him.
Quote:
I don't care what anyone says, but Angela in real life is pretty smoking. Check the google machine for some nekkids and see she has a pretty tight bod.
you are fake newstostr said:
Jenna Fischer finally reveals the contents of Jim's teapot note:
Quote:
Michael: Sometimes I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it, I love this TV. Oh and I also built this table.
Jim: What is that chestnut?
Michael: No, I think that is either pine, or nordic cherry.
Furlock Bones said:
Not really a line since it takes the entire scene. But, Kevin's chili is probably the greatest cold opening to a show ever.
that's what makes it so great. it's so brutal yet so funny.Willy Wonka said:
Watched it yesterday once again. I think about it every time I make chili or bbq.
It's so freaking sad...but hilarious.
Quote:
Michael: So, Phil recruited me to sell these cards, and now I am recruiting you.
Oscar: Who is this guy again?
Michael: Don't worry about Phil. He drives a corvette. He is doing just fine. Okay. Calling cards are... the wave of the future. These things sell themselves.
Ryan: Who uses calling cards anymore?
Michael: You know what? That's a nice attitude, Ryan, I'm just helping you invest in your future, my friend.
Oscar: This sounds like a get rich quick scheme.
Michael: Yes! Thank you! You will get rich quick. We all will!
Toby: Didn't you lose a lot of money on that other investment, the one from the email?
Michael: You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country, okay? ...Alright, so, raise your hand if you wanna get rich. [Jim and Dwight raise their hands] Alright.
Jim: No, um. How is this not a pyramid scheme?
Michael: Alright, let me explain. Again. [draws on board] Phil has recruited me and another guy. Now, we are getting three people each. The more people that get involved, the more who are investing, the more money we're all going to make. It's not a pyramid scheme, it is a... it's not even a scheme per se, it's... [Jim draws a triangle around Michael's diagram] ... I have to go make a call.
Quote:
I tried hopping, Kevin, and I bumped my elbow against the wall and now my elbow has a protruberance.
Quote:
Michael: Can I have everyone's attention please? Phyllis, Oscar, Ryan, who's supposed to be dead, can I ask you all a question? Do you all know what it's like to be disabled? Oscar?
Phyllis: Um, I had scoliosis as a girl.
Michael: No, never heard of it. No, a real disability, not a woman's trouble.
Creed: When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung.
Michael: Wuh, how, how old are you? Look, the point is, I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability, although I'm sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles.
Stanley: I'm not disabled and neither are you.
Michael: Ok, [lifts up cooked foot] what does this look like to you Stanley?!
Stanley: Mailboxes, Etc.
Michael: Shuuut it, ok, well, well you know what, disabilities are not things to be laughed at or laughed about. You people are jerks. Imagine if you had left Stevie Wonder on the floor of that bathroom instead of me.
Phyllis: Oh, we wouldn't. We love Stevie Wonder.
Michael: [sigh] I burned my foot!!!
Quote:
Michael: Oh, God, a mini-van. What is Meredith's problem?
Jim: Well, I think she has a kid.
Michael: Well, yeah she has one kid, no husband. She's not gonna find one driving this thing around.
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: Come on, get inside.
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: We're going to Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, God, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim: We're going to the hospital, Michael.
Quote:
Michael: Dwight, what is your middle name.
Dwight: Danger.
Michael: [sigh] Something with a "K".
Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I am so sad that I know that.
Michael: What do I write under "reason for visit"?
Jim: Concussion. [Michael scribbles something out] What did you write?
Michael: Nothing. I wrote "bringing someone to the hospital".
Jim: So you thought they meant your reason for coming to the hospital.
Michael: No... you know what Jim, this isn't about me anymore. I made a miraculous recovery, which is more than I can say for him. [Dwight falls towards Jim]
Jim: Come on Dwight. [sprays Dwight]
MW03 said:Quote:
Michael: Oh, God, a mini-van. What is Meredith's problem?
Jim: Well, I think she has a kid.
Michael: Well, yeah she has one kid, no husband. She's not gonna find one driving this thing around.
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: Come on, get inside.
Dwight: Where are we going?
Jim: We're going to Chuck E. Cheese.
Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, God, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.
Jim: We're going to the hospital, Michael.
Furlock Bones said:that's what makes it so great. it's so brutal yet so funny.Willy Wonka said:
Watched it yesterday once again. I think about it every time I make chili or bbq.
It's so freaking sad...but hilarious.
I see someone is watching comedy CentralAgLiving06 said: