Favorite Lines from The Office (US)

114,813 Views | 797 Replies | Last: 3 yr ago by Jugstore Cowboy
HtownAg92
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Bunkhouse96 said:

Dwight-"I was a twin. I absorbed my twin in the womb, now I have the strength of a full grown man and a little baby."
I think he used "resorbed", which makes it even funnier.

Liquid Wrench
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Ryan: Just in case, Michael, I made you a cheat sheet.
Michael: I don't need to cheat.
Jim: Show him how to use it.

*before Michael and Oscar have coffee to talk China
Carlo4
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JABQ04 said:

Since the kids are now hooked my son uses this when he's had a long day (he's also in 2nd grade)


v


Best part of that is when he sticks his tongue out while trying to get his feet in the ice.
'03ag
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Has anyone been listening to the Office Ladies podcast?

Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey are going episode by episode and giving some behind the scenes insight. The just did the Christmas Party/Yankee Swap episode.
Know Your Enemy
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No but I did see Jenna Fischer posting video of a guy a few rows in front of her on a plane watching The Office but he had no idea she was behind him.
Fat Bib Fortuna
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Junkhead said:

No but I did see Jenna Fischer posting video of a guy a few rows in front of her on a plane watching The Office but he had no idea she was behind him.
I wouldn't mind being behind Jenna Fischer
TheDraw
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This one just popped into my head. Kevin was nails!

Quote:

Dwight: Michael. Confession: I have done PDA in the office.
Michael: Thank you.
Dwight: I've had intercourse in the office.
Michael: All right.
Dwight: As has Angela!
Angela: Dwight!
Dwight: As has Ryan. As has Kelly. As has Meredith. As has Phyllis. As has Darryl. As has Creed. [Creed smiles and nods] As has Michael and as has Holly.
Kevin: As has Kevin!
Angela: With who?
Kevin: She goes to another school.

schmendeler
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MuckRaker96 said:

Junkhead said:

No but I did see Jenna Fischer posting video of a guy a few rows in front of her on a plane watching The Office but he had no idea she was behind him.
I wouldn't mind being behind Jenna Fischer
TheDraw
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Stupid Sexy Flanders
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schmendeler said:

MuckRaker96 said:

Junkhead said:

No but I did see Jenna Fischer posting video of a guy a few rows in front of her on a plane watching The Office but he had no idea she was behind him.
I wouldn't mind being behind Jenna Fischer



I don't care what anyone says, but Angela in real life is pretty smoking. Check the google machine for some nekkids and see she has a pretty tight bod.
schmendeler
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i can confirm.
The Collective
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Quote:


I don't care what anyone says, but Angela in real life is pretty smoking. Check the google machine for some nekkids and see she has a pretty tight bod.


She can wear clothes intended for large colonial dolls.
tostr
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Jenna Fischer finally reveals the contents of Jim's teapot note:

TomHagensWife
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This is off topic but is anyone in the Houston area interested in going to the Office Trivia tonight? My partner can't make it and I'm looking for a replacement with substantial knowledge and this seemed like a good place to ask. Thanks.
PatAg
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tostr said:

Jenna Fischer finally reveals the contents of Jim's teapot note:


you are fake news
superunknown
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Agree, Angela is a hottie. So is Holly.
TexAggee05
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The entire Dinner Party episode has me rolling but especially this:

Quote:

Michael: Sometimes I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it, I love this TV. Oh and I also built this table.
Jim: What is that chestnut?
Michael: No, I think that is either pine, or nordic cherry.
Fat Bib Fortuna
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From Will Ferrell's first episode after Jim and Pam bring their daughter in to meet him.

Deangelo: I swear, that baby could be the star of a show entitled 'Babies I Don't Care About.'
Furlock Bones
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Not really a line since it takes the entire scene. But, Kevin's chili is probably the greatest cold opening to a show ever.
JYDog90
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Watched it yesterday once again. I think about it every time I make chili or bbq.

It's so freaking sad...but hilarious.
The Collective
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Furlock Bones said:

Not really a line since it takes the entire scene. But, Kevin's chili is probably the greatest cold opening to a show ever.


Any time my wife makes chili, I issue "everybody is going to get to know each other in the pot" to her annoyance.
Furlock Bones
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Willy Wonka said:

Watched it yesterday once again. I think about it every time I make chili or bbq.

It's so freaking sad...but hilarious.
that's what makes it so great. it's so brutal yet so funny.
Dallasag02
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One of my favorite scenes from season 2:

Quote:

Michael: So, Phil recruited me to sell these cards, and now I am recruiting you.
Oscar: Who is this guy again?
Michael: Don't worry about Phil. He drives a corvette. He is doing just fine. Okay. Calling cards are... the wave of the future. These things sell themselves.
Ryan: Who uses calling cards anymore?
Michael: You know what? That's a nice attitude, Ryan, I'm just helping you invest in your future, my friend.
Oscar: This sounds like a get rich quick scheme.
Michael: Yes! Thank you! You will get rich quick. We all will!
Toby: Didn't you lose a lot of money on that other investment, the one from the email?
Michael: You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country, okay? ...Alright, so, raise your hand if you wanna get rich. [Jim and Dwight raise their hands] Alright.
Jim: No, um. How is this not a pyramid scheme?
Michael: Alright, let me explain. Again. [draws on board] Phil has recruited me and another guy. Now, we are getting three people each. The more people that get involved, the more who are investing, the more money we're all going to make. It's not a pyramid scheme, it is a... it's not even a scheme per se, it's... [Jim draws a triangle around Michael's diagram] ... I have to go make a call.


MW03
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Quote:

I tried hopping, Kevin, and I bumped my elbow against the wall and now my elbow has a protruberance.
MW03
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Also from that episode...

Quote:

Michael: Can I have everyone's attention please? Phyllis, Oscar, Ryan, who's supposed to be dead, can I ask you all a question? Do you all know what it's like to be disabled? Oscar?

Phyllis: Um, I had scoliosis as a girl.

Michael: No, never heard of it. No, a real disability, not a woman's trouble.

Creed: When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung.

Michael: Wuh, how, how old are you? Look, the point is, I am the only one here who has a legitimate disability, although I'm sure Stanley has had his fair share of obstacles.

Stanley: I'm not disabled and neither are you.

Michael: Ok, [lifts up cooked foot] what does this look like to you Stanley?!

Stanley: Mailboxes, Etc.

Michael: Shuuut it, ok, well, well you know what, disabilities are not things to be laughed at or laughed about. You people are jerks. Imagine if you had left Stevie Wonder on the floor of that bathroom instead of me.

Phyllis: Oh, we wouldn't. We love Stevie Wonder.

Michael: [sigh] I burned my foot!!!

Quote:

Michael: Oh, God, a mini-van. What is Meredith's problem?

Jim: Well, I think she has a kid.

Michael: Well, yeah she has one kid, no husband. She's not gonna find one driving this thing around.

Dwight: Where are we going?

Jim: Come on, get inside.

Dwight: Where are we going?

Jim: We're going to Chuck E. Cheese.

Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, God, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.

Jim: We're going to the hospital, Michael.

Quote:

Michael: Dwight, what is your middle name.

Dwight: Danger.

Michael: [sigh] Something with a "K".

Jim: It's Kurt. Wow, I am so sad that I know that.

Michael: What do I write under "reason for visit"?

Jim: Concussion. [Michael scribbles something out] What did you write?

Michael: Nothing. I wrote "bringing someone to the hospital".

Jim: So you thought they meant your reason for coming to the hospital.

Michael: No... you know what Jim, this isn't about me anymore. I made a miraculous recovery, which is more than I can say for him. [Dwight falls towards Jim]

Jim: Come on Dwight. [sprays Dwight]
bearamedic99
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I love that this thread is still going
boy09
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MW03 said:


Quote:

Michael: Oh, God, a mini-van. What is Meredith's problem?

Jim: Well, I think she has a kid.

Michael: Well, yeah she has one kid, no husband. She's not gonna find one driving this thing around.

Dwight: Where are we going?

Jim: Come on, get inside.

Dwight: Where are we going?

Jim: We're going to Chuck E. Cheese.

Michael: Chuck E. Cheese? Oh, God, I'm so sick of Chuck E. Cheese.

Jim: We're going to the hospital, Michael.


The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout 'shotgun' when you're within sight of the car gets the front seat. That's how the game's played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.
HoustonAg2106
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Furlock Bones said:

Willy Wonka said:

Watched it yesterday once again. I think about it every time I make chili or bbq.

It's so freaking sad...but hilarious.
that's what makes it so great. it's so brutal yet so funny.


The Collective
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AgLiving06
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TresPuertas
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AgLiving06 said:


I see someone is watching comedy Central


One just popped up that I forgot about:

Daryl: You mean to tell me you spend your entire winnings, $150,000.

Hagasawa: Bad Economy, Bad Investment


......

Daryl: You made an energy drink for Asian Homosexuals?

**Takes drink**

Mmmm.. what flavor is that?

Hagasawa: Coconut *****


Daryl: The coconut is really subtle.
AgLiving06
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Yes. yes I am haha
Pahdz
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One line my wife and I quote all the time from "Healthcare"

Kevin - "someone has it"
superunknown
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Robert California, chugging one down "why did they add the coconut?"
HoustonAg2106
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Who's the one character you could do without?

Mine is Nellie
 
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