Brian Earl Spilner said:

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Incredible.

I swear, it somehow already feels like this movie came out five years ago.

With lots of diligent work, I am proud to amuse you once more with The Road to Jabba's Palace - a crude, sophomoric look at determining who the hottest chick in the SW Universe is. I've put together a list of 32 contestants for you to ogle. And to make it easier to judge them, I'm putting the matchups here with 2 pictures of each actress: one of them in character, and one of them as themselves, in their prime.

There are a few controversial choices here. I didn't include Rosario Dawson as Ahsoka because nobody has seen her yet. I did include Ashley Eckstein as Ahsoka because she's good looking and has been an extremely visible face in the fan world for a number of years. I did the same thing for Shannon McRandle, who served for a long time as the model for Mara Jade, because every competition needs a red-head.

So the matchups are pictured below, we'll go about 24 hours for every round, starting with the round of 32 here, Sweet 16 on Thursday, Elite 8 Friday, Final 4 Saturday, and wrap it up with the championship on Sunday. If you don't need photo help, scroll all the way to the bottom for the voting link. I have spoken.

EDIT - There are a few broken picture links, but I don't think it's going to keep you from voting the way you want to, and I'm too tired to fix them.


Lookin' For Love in Alderaan Places Region

#1 Leia/Carrie Fisher vs. #8 Young Beru / Bonnie Piesse



vs.


#2 Oola / Femi Taylor vs. #7 Zam Wesell / Leanna Walsman


vs.


#3 Mara Jade / Shannon McRandle vs. #6 Aurra Sing / Michonne Bourriague



vs.


#4 Ahsoka Tano / Ashley Eckstein vs. #5 Aayla Secura / Amy Allen



vs.



Straight Up Naboo-ty Region

#1 Padme Amidala / Natalie Portman vs. #8 Yane / Candice Orwell



vs.



#2 Sabe / Keira Knightley vs. #7 Eirate / Liz Wilson



vs.


#3 Dorme / Rose Byrne vs. #6 Rabe / Karol Cristina da Silva


vs.



#4 Queen of Naboo / Keisha Castle-Hughes vs. #5 Sache / Sofia Coppola



vs.




Stardust? That's a stripper name, Galen! Region

#1 Jyn Erso / Felicity Jones vs. #8 Barriss Offee / Nalini Krishan



vs.




#2 Qi'ra / Emilia Clarke vs. #7 Fennec Shand / Ming-Na Wen



vs.




#3 Cara Dune / Gina Carano vs. #6 The Armorer / Emily Swallow



vs.





#4 Val / Thandie Newton vs. #5 Xi'an / Natalia Tena


vs.




Jakku All Night Long Region

#1 Rey / Daisy Ridley vs. #8 Rose Tico / Kelly Marie Tran



vs.





#2 Zorii Bliss / Keri Russell vs. #7 Bazine Netal / Anna Brewster


vs.




#3 Paige Tico / Van Veronica Ngo vs. #6 Captain Phasma / Gwendoline Christie



vs.




#4 Vice-Admiral Holdo / Laura Dern vs. #5 Maz Kanta / Lupita Nyong'o



vs.





Vote Now!

thanks Muck!

Star Whoars

Rey vs Rose...

Don't like it? Do it yourself next time!

Humble Brag, but I met Kelly Marie Tran and Naomi Ackie in real life and they were both much more attractive than I thought they would be. Especially Kelly

You guys are getting close to nerdery territory with these virtual women.

Lupita is "yuck"? Seriously? That woman is stunning. Should be the easiest upset of the entire tournament.

TCTTS said:

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Lupita is "yuck"? Seriously? That woman is stunning. Should be the easiest upset of the entire tournament.

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A lot of our voters seem to not see beauty outside of a certain dynamic. It is what it is.

Lupita is drop dead gorgeous

I don't know how to vote. Lupita Nyongo is better looking than Laura Dern, but Holdo is infinitely better looking than Maz Kanata. If that makes me a speciesist or superficial or whatever, that's fine.

MuckRaker96 said:

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12 hours in, one incredible upset taking place that Brian Earl Spilner is not going to like.

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If Natalie Portman loses to that no-name rando, I'm out.

Brian Earl Spilner said:

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MuckRaker96 said:

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12 hours in, one incredible upset taking place that Brian Earl Spilner is not going to like.

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If Natalie Portman loses to that no-name rando, I'm out.

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I was just messing with you because I'm bored.

No way she's not the winner.