Star Wars Discussion Thread

3,468,506 Views | 33351 Replies | Last: 18 hrs ago by MuckRaker96
MuckRaker96
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THE FINAL FOUR!

#1 Darth Vader vs. #2 Chewbacca
#1 Han Solo vs. #2 Obi-Wan Kenobi
Blatant Disregard
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MuckRaker96 said:

LAUGH IT UP, FUZZBALL! Chewbacca Stuns Yoda to Reach Final Four


Turns out size does matter.
Everyone's favorite copilot took center stage Friday night in the Road to Exegol Elite 8. Second-seeded Chewbacca knocked off top-seeded Yoda 58.1%-41.9% to reach the Final Four.
"Sorry now that I saved his planet from the Separatists, I am. Lying I was when I said I would miss him," a clearly irate Yoda said after the final results were tabulated. "What am I to do with all these 'Reach the Final Four, I did' T-shirts? Hmmmmmm?"

A combination of Wookie rage, thinking with his stomach, and whatever the hell he carries in that man purse sent Chewbacca into a Final Four showdown against Darth Vader, who easily crushed his master Emperor Palpatine with a whopping 88.4% of the vote.
"I don't get it," Palpatine said at his news conference. "Everything was proceeding as I had foreseen. Who votes for an asthmatic whiny biatch over a guy who can survive falling like 800,000 feet down a shaft and then like 60 seconds later the equivalent of about 3 billion nuclear bombs going off? Am I missing something here? The path to the Final Four is filled with voters some would consider idiots."

Vader had hoped to see his son on the other side of the bracket, but instead the survivor of the Republic, Rebels, and Resistance bracket is his least favorite person in the galaxy - Obi-Wan Kenobi. The second-seeded Jedi Master easily dispatched of the student he trained for a good 12 hours on a Tuesday before getting killed, taking down top-seeded Luke Skywalker 72.1%-27.9%. "After Padme died of a broken heart (eye roll), I promised Yoda and Bail Organa I would take the child and watch over him. I never promised I wouldn't whip that ass all day long in a popularity contest," Old Ben quipped.

Kenobi will battle top-seeded Han Solo in the other semifinal. The Corellian smuggler crushed The Mandalorian 83.7%-16.3% and was painfully smug about it. "Hokey religions and 10-episode runs on Disney Plus are no match for a good blaster at your side," Solo cracked wise after the rout. "I've streamed from one side of that service to the other. I've watched a lot of strange stuff - why the hell did they give Jeff Goldblum a show? But I've never seen anything to make me believe Oberyn Martell has got the sac to take out Indiana Jones/Jack Ryan in a man-to-man gunfight. There's no Beskar armor protecting my ass. It's all a lot of simple tricks and 46-year-old fan boys."





MuckRaker96
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Final Four Gif Party






























Brian Earl Spilner
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I'm sensing a Vader vs Obi-Wan showdown

Master vs apprentice.
OnlyForNow
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The system is rigged!
Chipotlemonger
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Han Solo is going to crush Old Kenobi
MuckRaker96
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Chipotlemonger said:

Han Solo is going to crush Old Kenobi
Brian Earl Spilner
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Chipotlemonger said:

Han Solo is going to crush Old Kenobi


Wouldn't be so sure. Obi-Wan won the official tournament on the Star Wars site a few years back.

2013: Jedi Master Yoda.
2014: Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.
2015: Sith Lord Darth Vader.
2016: Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.
MuckRaker96
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I ran a similar tournament wayyyyyyyyyyyyy back in 2002 and advertised it on TheForce.net and JediNews or whatever that other site was called.
I used my 50megs website to run it, if that doesn't make you feel old, nothing will.

The Final Four was R2D2 vs Vader and Han Solo vs. Yoda. Yoda won the final over Vader 181-142. It was before AOTC came out, so only characters from the OT and TPM were included.
MuckRaker96
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One of the semis has changed leads 5 times since noon.
MGS
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Chipotlemonger said:

Han Solo is going to crush Old Kenobi
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side
Cinco Ranch Aggie
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MGS said:

Chipotlemonger said:

Han Solo is going to crush Old Kenobi
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side

So uncivilized
MuckRaker96
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Never tell him the odds! Solo rallies past Kenobi into Exegol Final vs. Darth Vader


Trailing throughout the day and appearing as dead in the water as his chances at tapping Q'ira once Dryden Vos sank his hooks into her, everyone's favorite smuggler staged an 11th hour rally to defeat Obi-Wan Kenobi 51.4%-48.6% and make the championship round of the Road to Exegol.
"You know sometimes I amaze even myself," Solo said while enjoying a tall Tatooine Sunrise in a frosted mug. "I used to wonder about TexAgs' posters myself. Though it was all a bunch of mumbo-Jimbo. Crazy thing is...they're not idiots...well, not all of them."

He'll face an old nemesis there, Darth Vader, who choked the **** out of Chewbacca 75.7%-24.3% in the other semifinal on Sunday.
"Ah yes, Captain Solo," Vader said while gloating over his new Wookie-pelt shag carpet in his meditation room aboard the ISD No Sand following his victory. "If I recall correctly during our first encounter I suffered mild carpal tunnel syndrome while repeatedly lifting my hands to block his laser bolts. With my HANDS."

Vader is installed as an early 5% favorite over Solo, who trailed Kenobi as late as 6:30 p.m. before his followers pushed him over the top.
"I guess you could say that's not how the Force works, amiright?" Solo asked the media at his press conference, searching and failing to find anyone to give him a fist bump. Solo went on to suggest he would treat Vader the same way he treats the former Jedi's daughter, Leia Organa and give him "a good pounding."

VOTE!






Chipotlemonger
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C@LAg
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MuckRaker96 said:









and the sequel:

let's put on sweatsuits and go to the library!!!!!!!
MuckRaker96
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After 8 hours of voting, we are dead even.
MuckRaker96
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3 hours later, separated by one vote.
Blatant Disregard
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I love Han Solo, he's probably the most charismatic guy in the whole series.

But Vader can be considered the all-time gold standard for villains in cinema. Gotta go with the Sith Lord on this one.
BrownCoat
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Got my vote in. This has been a great way to pass the time. Thanks for doing this.
I aim to misbehave...
gougler08
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Well done on this Muck
MuckRaker96
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Thanks! Since I've been working from home as a freelancer the last 7 years, my day to day isn't really affected tremendously by the hunkering in place, this thing is definitely becoming a strain with my wife and kids out of school/work and home non stop. No sports and no end in sight is tough, and having something to look forward to every day is a nice thing to have. I'm thinking of a SW quotes one next, and a Game of Thrones one as well.
I Have Spoken
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So, when do I start getting cat facts for voting in this thing?
Blatant Disregard
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MuckRaker96 said:

Thanks! Since I've been working from home as a freelancer the last 7 years, my day to day isn't really affected tremendously by the hunkering in place, this thing is definitely becoming a strain with my wife and kids out of school/work and home non stop. No sports and no end in sight is tough, and having something to look forward to every day is a nice thing to have. I'm thinking of a SW quotes one next, and a Game of Thrones one as well.
Don't forget the 'hotness' tournament we talked about a few pages ago....
MuckRaker96
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Vader Tortures Solo for Road to Exegol Title



Darth Vader might not be the champion you wanted, but in an era where we're all hunkered down thanks to a raging biological terror that is stagnating our economy, travel, and way of life, he's the champion you need.
The Chosen One fulfilled the prophecy of being so popular he can charge the other kids $50 to sign their yearbooks "Karen, third-period French was cool with you.Stay sweet and have a great summer, Vader" with a 56.8%-43.2% victory over the proud wearer of vintage Corellian blood stripe pants in Monday's Road to Exegol championship match.

A few times during the day Han Solo was matching Vader vote for vote, but he could never pry the lead out of the Sith's cold, dead gloves. Vader was not too worried about the long-term effects of the loss for Solo. "He will not be permanently damaged," he told the media with a shrug. "Although to be honest, what do I care? As Ivan Drago said about Apollo Creed, 'If he dies, he dies.'"

Solo himself had been showing some serious "Chosen One' tendencies after wiping out The Mandalorian, Luke Skwywalker, and Obi-Wan Kenobi to reach the final. Solo called the string of victories "probably my greatest accomplishment since I copped a feel on Leia outside the shield bunker on Endor."



Thanks for playing, all. I have spoken.

Yoda
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Chipotlemonger
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Urban Ag
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Epic
MuckRaker96
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I've put in much hard work to come up with a field of the 32 hottest. Need to figure out some logistics for the matchups as pictures might make a slight difference in who you vote for. Hope to start it in a few days.
Urban Ag
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MuckRaker96 said:

I've put in much hard work to come up with a field of the 32 hottest. Need to figure out some logistics for the matchups as pictures might make a slight difference in who you vote for. Hope to start it in a few days.
Jesus dude 50% of us are going to be dead or wish we were in a few days. Speed it the F up cabron. I'm sleeping in my Kevlar. This is your moment Muck. We need this. You are Texags war bonds rights now. Gods speed. I'm married to a Mexican chick with restless leg syndrome and have two teenage sons. We executed our pug in the backyard yesterday as a F U to China. Help us MuckRacker96, you're our only hope.

MuckRaker96
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I'd love to make it an immediate project, but remarkably my volume of work has gone way up since the outbreak and deadlines are coming up. That and the fact that while my wife has learned to accept coming into the office and seeing pictures of Darth Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobi on my monitor, I'm not sure she'd be as cool when it's hot pics of Portman and Ridley. Will try to work on it tonight (that's what she said).
MuckRaker96
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Cool interview with Sam Witwer (voice of Starkiller/Maul) about the Clone Wars final season. He says the last 3-4 episodes should be watched "like a movie"

https://io9.gizmodo.com/sam-witwer-on-clone-wars-game-changing-finale-and-sayin-1842455906
I Have Spoken
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Watched Rise of Skywalker the other night, and we are sitting through the credits. My wife pipes up, "there is a guy named Warwick, lol". I cried on the inside, because she had zero idea who he is.
Brian Earl Spilner
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Gangnam Style
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Will I be allowed to post the Ahsoka copypasta?
Urban Ag
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Bland Moff Tarkin


that was fantastic

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