5'9" here. Even though it took me 20 years to attain that lol.
Why is dating after 35 such a beating?
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Last: 5 mo ago by aeon-ag
Green2Maroon said:Sea Speed said:
You have built up this image of this person in your mind that has her being the end all be all to your relationship needs and that isn't necessarily the case. This image is based off of one date a decade ago. Be prepared for reality to be completely different than this image in your mind.
This is quite possible. It would just bother me for the rest of my life if I didn't go back and see what that reality is today.
This is an odd decision, in my opinion.
Maybe you're right, but I would rank this as my worst mistake in 20 years of dating. I don't know why I was so scared and uncertain about her or about what could happen in the future.
Timing can be everything.
If your gut instinct was telling you to stay away that bad, there was probably a good reason.
swimmerbabe11 said:
If your gut instinct was telling you to stay away that bad, there was probably a good reason.
Or you were immature and scared of having commit to something.
Pretty normal for guys in their 20's. Not all of them, but plenty.
maroon barchetta said:swimmerbabe11 said:
If your gut instinct was telling you to stay away that bad, there was probably a good reason.
Or you were immature and scared of having commit to something.
Pretty normal for guys in their 20's. Not all of them, but plenty.
I'm pretty sure it was just that. I was 28 and my maturity wasn't quite there to understand the situation and opportunity.
AggieArchitect04 said:
Timing can be everything.
Life is ALL about luck and timing. You can work your ass off for things and to annextent get to where you want to be, but to make it that final little bit, you need that luck and timing.
maroon barchetta said:ea1060 said:Spot on. People try to brag that a girl is a lawyer or a doctor, and that doesnt really appeal to me. All that tells me is that shes going to work long hours and be obsessed with her career. No thanks. I'd rather marry a teacher or a secretary.OasisMan said:
in general, when looking for wifey material, guys don't care what the girl makes
B/c a guy does not want a woman working 60+ hrs a week for that 100+k and all that comes with the working extra/hard
Certainly my bank account would love to be 2X'ed on income -- but I would never get to see her and enjoy her
You also want to wait in the lobby and pass out cigars when your wife has a baby, right?
Nope he is pointing out that monetary status plays very little into what a guy looks for in a potential mate. A high value male who makes alot of money doesn't give a crap what his wife makes or does for a living.
Because women are generally better equipped and have a temperament more in line to be the primary caregiver to children men who desire a family often look for a woman whose profession allows that.
Also, statistically, women in high powered prifessions switch to part time status or reduce hours significantly once they have kids which nowadays is between 35 and 37.
Nothing wrong with that.
But it is the biggest reason there are fewer women CEO's, partners in law firms, and why the healthcare industry is hurting- alot of female doctors once they have kids work fewer hours, so while the medical schools are graduating more doctors than in the past, now 50% of them are female so 10 years after a med school class graduates that graduating class of MD's are working less than they were after graduation which means less available doctors at any given time.
Feel free to be overly offended by those statistics and facts.
SWCBonfire said:chiken said:SWCBonfire said:
Recently divorced 45 year old male reading this thread
Oh hello! You're apparently my demographic now!! Wanna bump uglies?
Once worked with a guy that was nicknamed because he once got foul with a fowl when excessively inebriated as a teenager... 40 years later he's still "Chicken ___".
[url]http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com[/url]
That post got my attention...same name.Green2Maroon said:
RIP SFC John Welch
May 12, 1968 - May 20, 2022
He was just a hell of a guy. You should be proud to have that name too.
Thanks for your permission. I will if I see that you're assigning a certain value to my entire gender but so far so good.
swimmerbabe11 said:
if the listed height is under 5'8" it is accurate
f he says 5'8" in the bio, he's 5'6" or 5'7"
If he says he's 6', he's 5'10 or 5'11"
over that and it's honest.
just like a baseball roster
Note to self: In Swimmer's world, no one can ever be exactly 6'.
So, at 35 you switch out the crazy, hot matrix for a baggage, hot matrix.
Meanwhile, I'm over here living that outlier life. Wife is an executive and I'm early retired. About a decade ago we were at the same level with roughly same pay.
Her career gradually went further than mine to the point she was making about 40% more than me when I left corporate. Not sure why anyone would ever be bothered by that.
Now I'm household CEO. It's a bit of a weird shift in life, but we got to the point that we realized both of us working senior level corporate gigs wasn't healthy and one of us should probably back off.
It made sense for that person to be me since she made so much more money than me. Then Covid happened and low and behold I got an offer to leave so I took it.
Tables could still turn but it's been good for us because now I can take care of family stuff that was getting neglected. So, just posting my situation because they do exist like this.
Her career gradually went further than mine to the point she was making about 40% more than me when I left corporate. Not sure why anyone would ever be bothered by that.
Now I'm household CEO. It's a bit of a weird shift in life, but we got to the point that we realized both of us working senior level corporate gigs wasn't healthy and one of us should probably back off.
It made sense for that person to be me since she made so much more money than me. Then Covid happened and low and behold I got an offer to leave so I took it.
Tables could still turn but it's been good for us because now I can take care of family stuff that was getting neglected. So, just posting my situation because they do exist like this.
The only offensive thing you said was your last comment. You just can't help yourself.
But please bro, continue to spit these sick ass facts at us.
But please bro, continue to spit these sick ass facts at us.
You are living my dream life
And you might be living mine. Keep on out achieving and out attaining most of us guys. No matter what some people think.
@Youbet- The biggest difference is that it sounds like you and your wife were high powered individuals and driven by it for much of your relationship and things got more high pwered as your relationship progressed. Priorities to more of a family oriented approach changed the relationship omce had progressed. Wonderful that you and your wife navigated that well for the betterment of your family! KUDOS! Not everyone can do that. And that can be a tough transition.
@Pirate- I was told I was instilling fear in various users for words i was saying and that they would be "AFRAID" to be married to someone like me.
I have never once raised my hand against my wife. i have never once raised my voice to the point or in a manner that has ever caused her to be afraid of me and I have never used my physical size or advantages to intimidate her or my children. as someone who was raised by a father who beat his wife and kids on a regular basis and grew up feeling that fear every day i would sooner cut my own hands off than raise my hands to my wife or my children. And when someone conflates the fear domestic abuse victims have to live under with the discomfort of words written on an internet message board it is insulting in so many ways I don't know where to start.
I expect that pretty much anything I say that doesn't fall in line with "You go girl!" and feminist tripe is going to offend someone. so yeah, after being equated to a domestic abuser, a sexist, a chauvinist, etc i feel like being a little snarky back.
After all the jabs I have taken on this thread I do believe that is one of the first few I have dished out. So I don't really care.
@Pirate- I was told I was instilling fear in various users for words i was saying and that they would be "AFRAID" to be married to someone like me.
I have never once raised my hand against my wife. i have never once raised my voice to the point or in a manner that has ever caused her to be afraid of me and I have never used my physical size or advantages to intimidate her or my children. as someone who was raised by a father who beat his wife and kids on a regular basis and grew up feeling that fear every day i would sooner cut my own hands off than raise my hands to my wife or my children. And when someone conflates the fear domestic abuse victims have to live under with the discomfort of words written on an internet message board it is insulting in so many ways I don't know where to start.
I expect that pretty much anything I say that doesn't fall in line with "You go girl!" and feminist tripe is going to offend someone. so yeah, after being equated to a domestic abuser, a sexist, a chauvinist, etc i feel like being a little snarky back.
After all the jabs I have taken on this thread I do believe that is one of the first few I have dished out. So I don't really care.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I dont believe you have kids so IMO that does change the calculus some, probably making it easier for yall to make that decision. Either way, I have often enjoyed your tales of stay at home husband life. You just need to resist those urges to go back to the corporate world I know you hate.
19 pages and still counting. Very impressive for a troll post
Sea Speed said:
Correct me if I'm wrong but I dont believe you have kids so IMO that does change the calculus some, probably making it easier for yall to make that decision. Either way, I have often enjoyed your tales of stay at home husband life. You just need to resist those urges to go back to the corporate world I know you hate.
This is absolutely true and fair. Being DINKs made that calculus easier.
And I've entertained going back, but I really don't want to and am being very selective about what I pursue. Corporate life is not kind to late 40s white guys right now trying to start new somewhere. Would much rather work at a small company at this point.
Also true. In our case family stuff is related to me taking care of my FILs house many miles away because he no longer can. So I have two houses I manage.
Ags4DaWin said:
And when someone conflates the fear domestic abuse victims have to live under with the discomfort of words written on an internet message board it is insulting in so many ways I don't know where to start.
I expect that pretty much anything I say that doesn't fall in line with "You go girl!" and feminist tripe is going to offend someone. so yeah, after being equated to a domestic abuser, a sexist, a chauvinist, etc i feel like being a little snarky back.
I make up that you feel angry and misunderstood. That sounds hard.
The tension persists. They still haven't banged.
713nervy said:Ags4DaWin said:
And when someone conflates the fear domestic abuse victims have to live under with the discomfort of words written on an internet message board it is insulting in so many ways I don't know where to start.
I expect that pretty much anything I say that doesn't fall in line with "You go girl!" and feminist tripe is going to offend someone. so yeah, after being equated to a domestic abuser, a sexist, a chauvinist, etc i feel like being a little snarky back.
I make up that you feel angry and misunderstood. That sounds hard.
Both of you are pathetic
713nervy said:Ags4DaWin said:
And when someone conflates the fear domestic abuse victims have to live under with the discomfort of words written on an internet message board it is insulting in so many ways I don't know where to start.
I expect that pretty much anything I say that doesn't fall in line with "You go girl!" and feminist tripe is going to offend someone. so yeah, after being equated to a domestic abuser, a sexist, a chauvinist, etc i feel like being a little snarky back.
I make up that you feel angry and misunderstood. That sounds hard.
Sounds like you need to find yourself a male Instagram model and just get laid. Sheesh.
CNN is an enemy of the state and should be treated as such.
this thread....top notch
I thought I did. He passed away in March. Life is just ******* hard.
No one is exactly 6' tall. No one. Not ever. Mathematically impossible.Humorous Username said:swimmerbabe11 said:
if the listed height is under 5'8" it is accurate
f he says 5'8" in the bio, he's 5'6" or 5'7"
If he says he's 6', he's 5'10 or 5'11"
over that and it's honest.
just like a baseball roster
Note to self: In Swimmer's world, no one can ever be exactly 6'.
Spot on. I make good money, I dont care what a woman makes, I have enough for both of us. I just care that she has a job, period.Ags4DaWin said:maroon barchetta said:ea1060 said:Spot on. People try to brag that a girl is a lawyer or a doctor, and that doesnt really appeal to me. All that tells me is that shes going to work long hours and be obsessed with her career. No thanks. I'd rather marry a teacher or a secretary.OasisMan said:
in general, when looking for wifey material, guys don't care what the girl makes
B/c a guy does not want a woman working 60+ hrs a week for that 100+k and all that comes with the working extra/hard
Certainly my bank account would love to be 2X'ed on income -- but I would never get to see her and enjoy her
You also want to wait in the lobby and pass out cigars when your wife has a baby, right?
Nope he is pointing out that monetary status plays very little into what a guy looks for in a potential mate. A high value male who makes alot of money doesn't give a crap what his wife makes or does for a living.
Because women are generally better equipped and have a temperament more in line to be the primary caregiver to children men who desire a family often look for a woman whose profession allows that.
Also, statistically, women in high powered prifessions switch to part time status or reduce hours significantly once they have kids which nowadays is between 35 and 37.
Nothing wrong with that.
But it is the biggest reason there are fewer women CEO's, partners in law firms, and why the healthcare industry is hurting- alot of female doctors once they have kids work fewer hours, so while the medical schools are graduating more doctors than in the past, now 50% of them are female so 10 years after a med school class graduates that graduating class of MD's are working less than they were after graduation which means less available doctors at any given time.
Feel free to be overly offended by those statistics and facts.
This thread is reminding me that "high value male/man" is maybe the cringiest phrase i've ever heard.
I do okay these days, definitely not broke, but a lot of women my age make more than I do in my city. The old paradigm of the man making all or most of the money is no longer true for a lot of us anymore.
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