Who's given up on re-marrying?

24,390 Views | 176 Replies | Last: 4 yr ago by george1992
Old RV Ag
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Ragoo said:

EFE said:

Different strokes and what not. Once my ish was final, I was rutted up harder than a puppy with two peckers.
if I were single tomorrow chairing rail would be the last thing on my mind. Spending as much time with my kids and taking care of them would be #1 then establishing myself as just me #2.

I'd would also be spending the rest of my free time trying to get to IM Kona.
This sounds like a pocket protector calculating engineer response. You're trying to apply logic to a divorce. Divorce (like death of a spouse or child) is a gut wrenching emotion fueled event. No one can say exactly how they would handle it until faced with it. You say what you would do but you've got to factor in what the ex will do and as they say "all is fair in love and war" - you sure the ex will not make up something to keep you from spending as much time with your kids? She may go total BSC scorched earth on your ass.
Ag with kids
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I've been married twice. Living in sin right now.

First time for 5 years (cheating hoar). I filed for divorce on a Wednesday. Met my second wife on Friday.

Started dating seriously a month later and got remarried 9 month later. We were married for 15 years. Unfortunately, she passed away in 2012.

I basically decided I didn't want to get remarried again. I'd been married twice and the last one was awesome. I'd still be married to her today if I could. So, I wanted to end the marriage thing on a high note.

But, I was only 44 when she passed away...so after awhile I started dating. I went out with several women (and also found out about that glorious thing called "daddy issues".) But, I also met my current GF. We dated off and on for years and about 1.5 years ago, we decided to move in together.

Then, we decided we were both going to move to Corpus together so we could retire there...But, as I told her at the beginning, I don't want to get remarried. She accepts that part reluctantly...

I guess if we did, it would be for non-romantic reasons, like lower tax rates and getting on her teacher insurance when we retire. But, I do love her, so we've got that going for us...
Shakes the Clown
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Lots of divorce stories, but lack of cans makes me look at other threads.
NRH ag 10
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Shakes the Clown said:

Lots of divorce stories, but lack of cans makes me look at other threads.
Lack of cans on the ex makes me less sad about my divorce!
Ag with kids
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NRH ag 10 said:

Shakes the Clown said:

Lots of divorce stories, but lack of cans makes me look at other threads.
Lack of cans on the ex makes me less sad about my divorce!
I have cans...

You don't want to see them...
City Dumme
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Ragoo said:

City Dumme said:

So you'd become gay or something?
certainly wouldn't bang my MIL


Because she's not a man
The Fife
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I seriously doubt it'll happen. With custody of two little kids and a divorce that puts me in the damaged goods category.
chimpanzee
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Have to agree with the folks that have highlighted the whole "building up a tolerance" angle. Without the benefit of youth and a longer runway of life, I don't think I'd want to put up with that myself, nor would I trust anyone willing to put up with that reciprocally.

Here's hoping I never have the opportunity to test any of these theories.
JMac03
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The Fife said:

I seriously doubt it'll happen. With custody of two little kids and a divorce that puts me in the damaged goods category.
Aww that's not true. Lots of people marry divorced people with kids. You'll find someone who isn't BSC.
The Fife
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JMac03 said:

The Fife said:

I seriously doubt it'll happen. With custody of two little kids and a divorce that puts me in the damaged goods category.
Aww that's not true. Lots of people marry divorced people with kids. You'll find someone who isn't BSC.
I really can't wait until things are finalized or at least signed off and killing time until the 12 month waiting period is all that's left. There are definitely reasons on her end other than BSC at play here but until then no elaboration.

I can say so far that online dating has been pretty much trash. Like 1 picture, instagram handles, and three word answers to profile prompts.
Old RV Ag
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The Fife said:

I seriously doubt it'll happen. With custody of two little kids and a divorce that puts me in the damaged goods category.
Tom Hagen
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Old RV Ag said:

SoupNazi2001 said:

We need some stories on the divorces. What happened and why did you split up so we can all learn from it.
Got a little story for you Ags. This one comes from a friend of mine who is also an Ag. He has this crazy step daughter who was married for 15 years and had some kids. She was worried the ex would remarry first and she also was a gold digger. She's a very pretty gal so she goes for the money and forgoes the looks and hooks up with this ugly guy. The guy has rich friends so the step daughter thinks he's rich which the ugly guy is playing it up as well. So, she "marries" him. Almost a year later she realizes he has no money and he was playing her. They decide to get a "divorce." It looks like he might actually come out on top in terms of money in a divorce.

Now, the kicker - the step daughter never filed the signed official marriage certificate. She had waited so she could find out how much she could take him for and verify he had as much money as she thought he did. So, they were never officially married and she just threw him out.
Sounds like the ugly guy won this scenario. Got to have sex with a woman way out of his league multiple times.
Old RV Ag
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Tom Hagen said:

Old RV Ag said:

SoupNazi2001 said:

We need some stories on the divorces. What happened and why did you split up so we can all learn from it.
Got a little story for you Ags. This one comes from a friend of mine who is also an Ag. He has this crazy step daughter who was married for 15 years and had some kids. She was worried the ex would remarry first and she also was a gold digger. She's a very pretty gal so she goes for the money and forgoes the looks and hooks up with this ugly guy. The guy has rich friends so the step daughter thinks he's rich which the ugly guy is playing it up as well. So, she "marries" him. Almost a year later she realizes he has no money and he was playing her. They decide to get a "divorce." It looks like he might actually come out on top in terms of money in a divorce.

Now, the kicker - the step daughter never filed the signed official marriage certificate. She had waited so she could find out how much she could take him for and verify he had as much money as she thought he did. So, they were never officially married and she just threw him out.
Sounds like the ugly guy won this scenario. Got to have sex with a woman way out of his league multiple times.
Yep, the player got played. Gotta laugh at the irony.
MisterShipWreck
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I have been married 2x. 7 years the first time, and 15 years the second time.

I am 47 now. IF I ever get married again, I would have to live with someone 3-5 years. Women have a magical way of changing their personality after they get married. I want to give it time to make sure that does not happen again.
Holly Golightly
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After 29 years married to the same person, and now 3 years "single," I think I've decided I will never marry again.

I am very happy to be independent and fun loving with only myself and God to answer to.
YellAgs
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The Fife said:

I seriously doubt it'll happen. With custody of two little kids and a divorce that puts me in the damaged goods category.
if you arent DBU, just go walk around USCe or Clemson and find a hot chick who wants to be a mommy. She will think that 75,000/yr engineering job youhave is richa
Geralt of Rivia
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S
Holly Golightly said:

After 29 years married to the same person, and now 3 years "single," I think I've decided I will never marry again.

I am very happy to be independent and fun loving with only myself and God to answer to.


Need a place to crash when you're in town for games?
Ag with kids
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YellAgs said:

The Fife said:

I seriously doubt it'll happen. With custody of two little kids and a divorce that puts me in the damaged goods category.
if you arent DBU, just go walk around USCe or Clemson and find a hot chick who wants to be a mommy. She will think that 75,000/yr engineering job you have is richa
That's what we engineers call a lolpoor....
Old RV Ag
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Ag with kids said:

YellAgs said:

The Fife said:

I seriously doubt it'll happen. With custody of two little kids and a divorce that puts me in the damaged goods category.
if you arent DBU, just go walk around USCe or Clemson and find a hot chick who wants to be a mommy. She will think that 75,000/yr engineering job you have is richa
That's what we engineers call a lolpoor....
Maybe he's young. Maybe he's an IE (imaginary engineer). Or both.
YellAgs
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I assume he works at boeing and they dont make oilfield engineering dollars.
B-1 83
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Holly Golightly said:

After 29 years married to the same person, and now 3 years "single," I think I've decided I will never marry again.

I am very happy to be independent and fun loving with only myself and God to answer to.
And Holly is a damn fine looking woman....
CrottyKid
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I got married at 19. Still happily married to the same woman. If she ever leaves me or dies, I will with 100% certainty never get married again.
The Fife
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YellAgs said:

The Fife said:

I seriously doubt it'll happen. With custody of two little kids and a divorce that puts me in the damaged goods category.
if you arent DBU, just go walk around USCe or Clemson and find a hot chick who wants to be a mommy. She will think that 75,000/yr engineering job youhave is richa


Why would she care about what I made in 2005?
Dad-O-Lot
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Been married to the same woman for almost 31 years now. I gave up on getting remarried almost 31 years ago.
People of integrity expect to be believed, when they're not, they let time prove them right.
trouble
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Also married at 19 and felt the same way until I was very suddenly single at 33.
GIF Reactor
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If my wife were to get tired of me and leave, I think I would just get a dog. Spend a couple of weekends a year out in Vegas or something.
TxFig
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MisterShipWreck said:

I have been married 2x. 7 years the first time, and 15 years the second time.

I am 47 now. IF I ever get married again, I would have to live with someone 3-5 years. Women have a magical way of changing their personality after they get married. I want to give it time to make sure that does not happen again.

That's not marriage - it's TIME that changes people. Those changes were going to happen anyway.

They key to success in marriage is changing together.


My wife & were both 19 when we got married. in 1981.
Neither of us is even close to the same person we were in 1981. But we're still together.

--
Chris Barnes
Retired A&M IT geek - now beekeeper
http://www.cornerstonehoneybees.com/
Win At Life
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TxFig said:

MisterShipWreck said:

I have been married 2x. 7 years the first time, and 15 years the second time.

I am 47 now. IF I ever get married again, I would have to live with someone 3-5 years. Women have a magical way of changing their personality after they get married. I want to give it time to make sure that does not happen again.

That's not marriage - it's TIME that changes people. Those changes were going to happen anyway.

They key to success in marriage is changing together.


My wife & were both 19 when we got married. in 1981.
Neither of us is even close to the same person we were in 1981. But we're still together.


If it's not marriage but time that makes the change, then why to 100% of women loose weight and get in shape after divorce?
george1992
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Win At Life said:

TxFig said:

MisterShipWreck said:

I have been married 2x. 7 years the first time, and 15 years the second time.

I am 47 now. IF I ever get married again, I would have to live with someone 3-5 years. Women have a magical way of changing their personality after they get married. I want to give it time to make sure that does not happen again.

That's not marriage - it's TIME that changes people. Those changes were going to happen anyway.

They key to success in marriage is changing together.


My wife & were both 19 when we got married. in 1981.
Neither of us is even close to the same person we were in 1981. But we're still together.


If it's not marriage but time that makes the change, then why to 100% of women loose weight and get in shape after divorce?


They also start taking it up the butt and will suck things they haven't since high school.
The Fife
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Electrical_Ag said:

If my wife were to get tired of me and leave, I think I would just get a dog. Spend a couple of weekends a year out in Vegas or something.
Probably a hell of a lot safer than randos you meet at a bar or club.
Caliber
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Win At Life said:

TxFig said:

MisterShipWreck said:

I have been married 2x. 7 years the first time, and 15 years the second time.

I am 47 now. IF I ever get married again, I would have to live with someone 3-5 years. Women have a magical way of changing their personality after they get married. I want to give it time to make sure that does not happen again.

That's not marriage - it's TIME that changes people. Those changes were going to happen anyway.

They key to success in marriage is changing together.


My wife & were both 19 when we got married. in 1981.
Neither of us is even close to the same person we were in 1981. But we're still together.


If it's not marriage but time that makes the change, then why to 100% of women loose weight and get in shape after divorce?
Its because too many men and women stop giving a crap in a relationship. They start treating it as a roommate/friend situation. It definitely isn't a one sided problem.

Men after marriage, especially after kids, often stop treating their wives as special. They might be the initiator or they might feel left out due to so many changes. But that is the most important time to make her feel wanted instead of just being with her.

Women, especially after kids, don't pay enough attention to themselves. In part, that is due to no one pursuing them, eg. making them feel special. They also tend to spend too much of their time on the kids and stop making their husbands feel valued too. Guys often need to step up in this situation to help out.

So it doesn't matter which side started getting lazy first, its usually a self reinforcing loop. Men and women are equally freaking guilty here, but men hate admitting that anything we do could have contributed.

Getting some strange after marriage (or during in some cases) makes them feel special again.

So, stop taking a s*** in front of your ladies thinking its cute to be gross. Keep some of the damn magic alive. And, except for rare specimens, the ones that think its ok for you to do it are really thinking you're turning more into their girlfriends they'd take to the bathroom when going out than their lover.

GIF Reactor
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The Fife said:

Electrical_Ag said:

If my wife were to get tired of me and leave, I think I would just get a dog. Spend a couple of weekends a year out in Vegas or something.
Probably a hell of a lot safer than randos you meet at a bar or club.


That and you wouldn't run into them around town.
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Old RV Ag
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third coast.. said:

I'm still blown away you got custody(because you're the man, not cause you dont deserve it). Must have been a rough split.
Yeah, it's not the usual but it happens. She must have been something (not in a good way). I have seen young couples where the wife meets someone else and walks away leaving not only the marriage but the kids. You hear of men doing that but not so often the woman.
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