When you enter your kids into organized sports, much less a select travel team, I think it's important to know what you want them to get out of it

In my view, more parents need to be honest with themselves about the question of who this is about, them or you. For me, sports are about character building, toughness, grit, teamwork, learning to overcome setbacks, pushing yourself, and the thrill of competition.

It should not be about the parents. I don't compete with other men through my kids. I want to see them do well, but that is not what it is all about. Sports become unhealthy when parents interfere and make it about them, not the kids .

Most people don't have the innate talent to play sports at a high level. Parents should accept this instead of thinking their kids are special in this regard

Unless you and/or your spouse played something at a D1 level, chances are your kid won't either. So relax. Fire that pitching coach and save your kid a Tommy John surgery. You could take the money spent on motels, meals, team uniforms, private lessons and take a family vacation or put it in a college fund for Colton. And little sister won't have to be bored out of her mind every weekend at some baseball tournament.

the downside of the 'don't play select, save the money for college' approach is if Colton now sits in his room playing minecraft every weekend. I am not saying every kid will do that, but that is a common tendency.

I knew my son would never play college ball and I still traveled most weekends for select ball. Lot's of great memories and relationships formed.

With that said, I totally get folks who don't play select and do other stuff with their kids on the weekend (hunt, fish, whatever).

Personally, I knew my kids need a push out the door or the video games would rule. Other kids are different.

With that said, I am in the minority in the select circles. Most parents see select as an investment for a scholarship which is like playing the lottery (a tax on people who don't understand math).

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We all want our kids to fit in socially. I don't want my kid to go to school, then come home without any connection to a group. Right or wrong, sports is a common way boys fit in and connect. With that said, I wouldn't care if they had gone another route (band, FFA etc).

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I just think sports tends to be overemphasized as the connection point.

I get it. We want our children to not only be socially connected, but towards the top of the social hierarchy...and there's no doubting the connection between sports and this, especially for boys.

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the downside of the 'don't play select, save the money for college' approach is if Colton now sits in his room playing minecraft every weekend. I am not saying every kid will do that, but that is a common tendency.

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What I am getting at is this a false dichotomy. I am not sure how we get from not playing select ball to this.

My short term goal when following my son's baseball teams around the country was for him to have fun and for me to have something to spend time with him to help him improve. The primary long term goal was to give him the chance to make his high school team. I didn't want to go play golf with my friends when I could be throwing batting practice to him. I wanted to spend any free time we got with the family doing outdoor stuff and not working on finding myself. But the people in this thread who do not understand the benefits of playing baseball probably have sons who shouldn't be playing select ball. If your sons don't have the ability to compete then they shouldn't play. If they can't look a pitcher or a batter in the eye and say I'm better than you, then they probably shouldn't play. If they can't take a fastball in the back of the leg and jog to first with a smile on their face, then they probably shouldn't play. If they can't take aggressive coaching, then they probably shouldn't play. If they cry a lot, then they probably shouldn't play. You should probably buy them some Oreos and some milk and set them up in front of the TV with a game console.

its not a false dichotomy in my house. If I don't sign my kids up for stuff, they sit on their phones all day. So I sign them up for stuff like select ball.

Maybe your kids are different (I'd be happy for you if so).

Literally every parent I know expresses the same fight against video games. the kids complain if you sign them up for events because they want to play on their phones.

Kids don't play outside anymore (at least that I see). Everything has to be an adult supervised event it seems. Not sure why.

Perhaps there are other kids that, left to their own, will not be consumed by their phones. However, that isn't my experience of my kids or any of my friend's.

SoupNazi2001 said:

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Why do people think if your kid doesn't play select sports then they will play video games all day especially if we are talking about 8-10 year old boys. There are so many other things they can do. Bike rides, hiking, swimming, walks with the dog. These can all be done with the family. They can also free play at home or outside with friends or family. Don't the parents decide how much screen time a kid gets?

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This is really wild and might blow your mind, but guess what? My son not only plays select ball -- he also swims, plays with his dog, has friends over and rides a bike. Can you believe that? I was shocked, too.

SoupNazi2001 said:

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Baseball-Junkie said:

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SoupNazi2001 said:

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Why do people think if your kid doesn't play select sports then they will play video games all day especially if we are talking about 8-10 year old boys. There are so many other things they can do. Bike rides, hiking, swimming, walks with the dog. These can all be done with the family. They can also free play at home or outside with friends or family. Don't the parents decide how much screen time a kid gets?

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This is really wild and might blow your mind, but guess what? My son not only plays select ball -- he also swims, plays with his dog, has friends over and rides a bike. Can you believe that? I was shocked, too.

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Thought it would also blow your mind that if your kid doesn't play select sports, that doesn't mean he sits at home and plays video games all day long. You and many others said this.

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We don't play baseball to keep him away from video games. I've also said it before in this thread, that I let him play The Show 19 and some other games. Anyway, take a look at this study:

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A new study from the Pew Research Center indicates 59 percent of girls and 84 percent of boys 13-17 play video games.

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"They're getting so consumed in it that they are detached from their reality," she said. "Because of that we're consequences to their ability to socialize with people. We're seeing consequences to their emotional needs."

The reason? They're teenagers and constantly competing and seeking validation through the video game, Jimenez said.

"And unfortunately sometimes that doesn't happen [in real life] and that's actually becoming a reflection of their self-worth."

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Do you know where they could be getting some real life competition and true sense of achievement? On the baseball diamond.

GreyhoundDad said:

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If your sons don't have the ability to compete then they shouldn't play. If they can't look a pitcher or a batter in the eye and say I'm better than you, then they probably shouldn't play. If they can't take a fastball in the back of the leg and jog to first with a smile on their face, then they probably shouldn't play. If they can't take aggressive coaching, then they probably shouldn't play. If they cry a lot, then they probably shouldn't play. You should probably buy them some Oreos and some milk and set them up in front of the TV with a game console.

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If your son lacks physical toughness and shies away from contact on the football field, point him toward the baseball diamond.

Its Texas Aggies, dammit said:

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GreyhoundDad said:

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If your sons don't have the ability to compete then they shouldn't play. If they can't look a pitcher or a batter in the eye and say I'm better than you, then they probably shouldn't play. If they can't take a fastball in the back of the leg and jog to first with a smile on their face, then they probably shouldn't play. If they can't take aggressive coaching, then they probably shouldn't play. If they cry a lot, then they probably shouldn't play. You should probably buy them some Oreos and some milk and set them up in front of the TV with a game console.

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If your son lacks physical toughness and shies away from contact on the football field, point him toward the baseball diamond.

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Why not both unless he has no hand eye coordination?

GreyhoundDad said:

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Its Texas Aggies, dammit said:

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GreyhoundDad said:

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If your sons don't have the ability to compete then they shouldn't play. If they can't look a pitcher or a batter in the eye and say I'm better than you, then they probably shouldn't play. If they can't take a fastball in the back of the leg and jog to first with a smile on their face, then they probably shouldn't play. If they can't take aggressive coaching, then they probably shouldn't play. If they cry a lot, then they probably shouldn't play. You should probably buy them some Oreos and some milk and set them up in front of the TV with a game console.

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If your son lacks physical toughness and shies away from contact on the football field, point him toward the baseball diamond.

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Why not both unless he has no hand eye coordination?

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Agree.

I was a travel ball dad for the last 7 years. Prior to that, we played developmental ball at the local Little League. It was a lot of fun and we met a lot of great people along the way. Baseball is a wonderful sport. I was never one of "those dads". I was just a fan of the game and an encourager of young men. My son played because he wanted to play. We spent many weekends at the hall field in different cities all over Texas, Louisiana and Oklahoma. It was a blessing to have all those experiences - the wins, the losses, the hits, the strikeouts. My son is in college now (playing ball, of course), so he's still doing the thing that makes him happy. If I had the chance to do it all over again... would I? You bet.

Real college baseball or like juco/D3 level "college baseball"?

Oh and I like how this thread has now turned into "I only let my kid consume his life with baseball and B averages because baseball is his passion. Well I also have to do it because his passion would be video games if not for baseball. But I don't care about video games because it's not my passion".

Bo Darville said:

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Real college baseball or like juco/D3 level "college baseball"?

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https://www.njcaa.org/sports/bsb/2018-19/releases/20190605mh2kms

103 juco players drafted into MLB in 2019 draft.

How many weren't?

And it looks like most were drafted in garbage rounds at the bottom. So they may play a few years of single A ball and then what? Be some loser working at a car wash?

Bo Darville said:

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How many weren't?

And it looks like most were drafted in garbage rounds at the bottom. So they may play a few years of single A ball and then what? Be some loser working at a car wash?

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Well, the way you talk, you wouldn't think any juco player would ever be drafted. It's not "real college baseball," right?

Do you think the majority of D1 players get drafted? The MLB draft is deep and there are only so many who can go high.

The dedication and accomplishment to even be drafted, is probably a higher work experience than you have or will achieve. Anyone who puts in the effort and grind to get drafted, will probably be just fine for whatever needs to be done after baseball.

I don't think that's true. I know a few people that got drafted and played minor league baseball. Even a cousin that played in rangers organization in the 80's. Most have lackluster careers or are just flat losers. The only one that mildly has his **** together offers coaching for Coltons and their select obsessed dads.

And I love this...

"Anyone who puts in the effort and grind to get drafted, will probably be just fine for whatever needs to be done after baseball."

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Nothing says prepping for life like being a single tracked minor league baseball wash out.

Hahahaahhahahahahahahah. Next time I need to hire an engineer I'll make sure and get their take on life lessons learned on a bus ride from stadium to stadium.

Bo Darville said:

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I don't think that's true. I know a few people that got drafted and played minor league baseball. Even a cousin that played in rangers organization in the 80's. Most have lackluster careers or are just flat losers. The only one that mildly has his **** together offers coaching for Coltons and their select obsessed dads.

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I have two family members who were drafted by the A's and the Yankees. Both played for a number of years, but never got the ultimate call up. They both turned out to be well rounded people.

Had a high school buddy drafted by the White Sox out of high school. He washed out of single A and was struggling. With that said, he washed out and struggled because of cocaine and weed. He's back to grinding out life at this point and doing much better.

Bo Darville said:

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And I love this...

"Anyone who puts in the effort and grind to get drafted, will probably be just fine for whatever needs to be done after baseball."

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Nothing says prepping for life like being a single tracked minor league baseball wash out.

Hahahaahhahahahahahahah. Next time I need to hire an engineer I'll make sure and get their take on life lessons learned on a bus ride from stadium to stadium.

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You have some of the most nonsensical posts on this thread.

Who said anything about baseball making you an expert on a totally non related specialty field? If their education qualified them for the position or they went back to school to qualify for that position -- I would absolutely place them higher than other candidates on the pecking order. They know what it takes to be the best and will most likely continue that in their next profession.

They know what it takes to the be the best by washing out of minor league baseball? Really?

They know how to hit or throw a ball. That's it.

Bo Darville said:

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They know what it takes to the be the best by washing out of minor league baseball? Really?

They know how to hit or throw a ball. That's it.

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At this point, I really think you washed out of baseball after your Freshman HS season. You have such a lack of perspective and so much animosity for the game.

Since you brought up engineer, you're probably an engineer yourself. That helps me get a little better picture of what I am dealing with here. Do you understand how much more work it takes and the much longer odds of being drafted in baseball versus being an engineer? I am not crapping on the job, just saying one is much more of an accomplishment and a lot more work to get to point A.

If someone can put in the grind, determination, dedication to get drafted -- they have the skills to be successful at just about anything else they put their energy in to.

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If someone can put in the grind, determination, dedication to get drafted -- they have the skills to be successful at just about anything else they put their energy in to.

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Like chest beating over a B average for example

Bo Darville said:

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They know what it takes to the be the best by washing out of minor league baseball? Really?

They know how to hit or throw a ball. That's it.

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Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you the same **** who forces their boys to do the same weekend activities you enjoy, whether they want to play sports or not? Or was it some other ****?

I tried to guide them in that direction but that **** doesn't work.

Bonnettecj1 said:

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Bo Darville said:

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Bonnettecj1 said:

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1. You have no idea how I parent or how my kids act.
2. When you hear, "Dad I want to play on X team", that is a goal set by the child. I don't force him to do anything.
3. I "let him be a kid". He's in love with the game of baseball and begs me daily to play catch with him. And I do, among other things.
4. I did not start this thread for parenting advice from *******s like yourself. If you think what I'm doing is wrong, that's your opinion. Raise your own children and let me raise mine.

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Let me guess, you also think sports "build character" and teach "life lessons"?

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Absolutely it does.

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Sports don't build character, they reveal it.

Oh my god dude. If you're kids don't hate you now, give it 5 years.

I'm fine. I don't have any Colton's.

Did some guy named Colton bang your wife? I don't get your deal with that name.

Every select dad has a kid named Colton