When my anxiety at my worst it always kills my appetite

I've done therapy before. It helped some. Meds helped more. I can't afford therapy at the moment

Same but I'll typically be able to get the meals down. When the anxiety is chronic just feels like my body is working in overdrive, shedding calories.

aznaggiegirl07 said:

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i hate the mental health is still so taboo to talk about.

I hate how men (dont take this wrong) are afraid of feeling "weak" when they want to talk about things that are mentally straining.

If something didnt work with your body, you would go to your doctor and get medication, because thats what you do.

The way I see with mental health and medication, is that there's a chemical imbalance at the very least that needs correcting, and its no different that taking a statin for high cholesterol.

my 2 cents

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My experience is that I don't have the emotional wherewithal to accurately describe what I feel. Quite literally all it seems that men know what we feel are hungry, happy, horny, and angry. I know that there is a lot more going on than just me being angry, but I don't know what words to assign to it or how to deal with it other than being angry. This is where therapy helps with me a lot. I reached out to a suicide hotline back last October or November. I have no idea if I was talking to a licensed therapist or just a volunteer or if it was a man or a woman, it was all over text message, but whoever it was managed to help work through my anger to see that really I was feeling dejection. Once I had a word assigned to it and could describe it I felt a ton better. It's not that I didn't use that term from time to time in my vocabulary it's just I didn't know that was something I was capable of feeling. It was a weird, cool, eye opening experience to realize that men just don't have the ability to accurately describe our emotions and it all turns into anger and just makes it worse.

Just my personal experience

On a side note the last two weeks or so have been an improvement. I've had some healthy and productive discussions with my wife. We got into a big fight on Saturday night last week but it was quickly resolved. Generally the holiday season is difficult for me, not because I don't like Christmas but because I feel so much pressure for Christmas to make me happy. I enjoy Christmas but everything the holiday has become from our culture doesn't bring me joy. I look forward to being with family and enjoy seeing my kids happy but I had to dig deep to intentionally choose to at least not be grumpy during Christmas. I've also upped my CBD game a bit and I think that's helping also. Still not where I want to be but glad to see improvement. We were so busy with thanksgiving that I haven't exercised which is having an impact for sure. Need to get back on that. Had some good business success this week also

Glad to hear about your improvement over the last couple weeks, that's awesome!

How's your experience been with CBD? How many mg do you take, what type, what time of day, etc?

Just starting ramping up. 11mg sublingually before bed but going to keep increasing until it's effective, haven't noticed a ton so far.

AgsMyDude said:

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Glad to hear about your improvement over the last couple weeks, that's awesome!

How's your experience been with CBD? How many mg do you take, what type, what time of day, etc?

Just starting ramping up. 11mg sublingually before bed but going to keep increasing until it's effective, haven't noticed a ton so far.

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I started sublingual and it worked great for a week but then pretty well quit. I was doing 500 mg strength and a mL or so and it wasn't doing anything. Got to the point were it was stupid expensive. I switched to a vaporizer and it made a difference for me. I've got a novo setup with a refillable pod system and a bottle of 1200mg CBD. Few puffs on that a few times a day and it seems like it helps a lot and much faster. Definitely not a cure all but seems to help keep me more grounded a bit. I'm not really a fan of vaping but it works so I deal with it. Regular use seems to help overall anxiety and depression. Plus once you get the stuff the price drops a lot with this setup

Geeze yeah 500mg daily of the oil would definitely be insanely expensive! Where you doing that much once a day or spaced out over a few times a day? Based on your description of using the vape, I doubt you're getting 500mg that route.

Could be the drops might have been more effective for you like you're doing the vape, a few smaller doses throughout the day.

It was the 500mg strength but I was taking about 3mL a day sublingually going through a bottle a month or so ramped up to 5mL for a time. Tried once a day or split. Just didn't seem like I got any benefit. When I first started 2mL of the 300mg had great results.

I'm not sure how much I'm getting in the vape but so far it seems to be working great

I'm usually not in great spirits during the holidays, but this year of course is extra crappy. I told my wife I legitimately don't care for any gifts this year as 2020 has been expensive. We bought a new house, moved...of which we did completely on our own, 2 of us, because COVID made it conveniently too dangerous for any of her family members to assist us at all. Thanks to COVID my employer decided to keep my work schedule at 8 hours per week for a period of about 6 months when I'm usually working more and compensated more. That six months dented my income roughly $12k this year, which is not an insignificant amount for us. We had a health scare with the dog. After the move we had to put our daughter in a private preschool which runs almost $1000/month. This is the first year of my entire life I won't step foot in Texas. The wife and I both got COVID just in time for us to have no smell or taste for Thanksgiving. We are supposed to go take family pictures for Christmas cards this weekend, of all years I just don't want to do it this year, but of course that's not in the cards. We collectively started going to family therapy hoping to get some improvement out of my daughters behavior, of which it has little effect. I'm in constant anxiety at home when the wife and kid are here because it seems like another blow up fight is always around the corner, not between my wife and I, but between either one of us and the 4 year old. On top of all that I've got to try and figure out Christmas and birthday gifts for the wife and daughter because their birthdays are both the same week as Christmas and I've got zero ideas for my wife because she never tells me anything she wants, if she wants something she just buys it. All I want for Christmas is to stop spending money and to hide in a hole somewhere. I'm just stressed out as hell right now.

A couple of things that help me deal with stress, especially when it comes to families and the holidays:

1) Set boundaries. This is important all year, but more so over the holidays. If you feel uncomfortable doing something, don't do it. My son's birthday is also right before Christmas. We haven't done big gifts for years. Usually we take a trip. I'll give him something if I happen to find something that I think he needs or will really like. But I don't buy any gifts just to check a box. Same with Christmas cards, or even calling/texting people over the holidays.

I also have some issues with a particular person in my immediate family. As difficult as it's been so do, I've had to set boundaries there, which means I'm very rarely in communication with this person. It's hard and it's heartbreaking, but I'm finally getting the message that I can't live my life trying to make someone else happy (especially when it's become clear that person doesn't want to be happy, but they want to blame me for their unhappiness).

2) It's important to acknowledge your sad and negative emotions rather than just ignore them. But remember, you aren't defined by your emotions. You are not sad or angry, you FEEL sad or angry. I listened to a great podcast last week about this. The podcast is called Terrible, Thanks for Asking, and the episode is called "What's Negative about Positivity".

Thank you! I think these tips are really good and will help me. I have been really depressed and anxious lately because of the COVID and all the situation

Max Power said:

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I'm usually not in great spirits during the holidays, but this year of course is extra crappy. I told my wife I legitimately don't care for any gifts this year as 2020 has been expensive. We bought a new house, moved...of which we did completely on our own, 2 of us, because COVID made it conveniently too dangerous for any of her family members to assist us at all. Thanks to COVID my employer decided to keep my work schedule at 8 hours per week for a period of about 6 months when I'm usually working more and compensated more. That six months dented my income roughly $12k this year, which is not an insignificant amount for us. We had a health scare with the dog. After the move we had to put our daughter in a private preschool which runs almost $1000/month. This is the first year of my entire life I won't step foot in Texas. The wife and I both got COVID just in time for us to have no smell or taste for Thanksgiving. We are supposed to go take family pictures for Christmas cards this weekend, of all years I just don't want to do it this year, but of course that's not in the cards. We collectively started going to family therapy hoping to get some improvement out of my daughters behavior, of which it has little effect. I'm in constant anxiety at home when the wife and kid are here because it seems like another blow up fight is always around the corner, not between my wife and I, but between either one of us and the 4 year old. On top of all that I've got to try and figure out Christmas and birthday gifts for the wife and daughter because their birthdays are both the same week as Christmas and I've got zero ideas for my wife because she never tells me anything she wants, if she wants something she just buys it. All I want for Christmas is to stop spending money and to hide in a hole somewhere. I'm just stressed out as hell right now.

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Hang in there man. I can definitely relate to the financial stress this time of year. I remember my daughter at 4 and she was a handful. My son is almost 5 and he can be a pain some times. My daughter is 7 now and it's been a big improvement and every week my son is better than before so there is light at the end of the tunnel. Not that will do anything to help you feel better now. Looking back at those years I had depression issues that I hadn't addressed and it kept me from enjoying those times. Hang in there

A side note on me, I am doing a lot better. Seemed to have broken out of my spell and back to where I should've been. Can't say that I'm as good as I could be or want to be but I'm happy and enjoying life especially considering the time of year.

COVID impacted my mental health a lot, I am often anxious and depressed, looking for help and any advice

hadynphil said:

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COVID impacted my mental health a lot, I am often anxious and depressed, looking for help and any advice

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Trying to answer the questions Max Power posted may help some. Trying to focus on what you are able to control can help some too. Are you religious? My faith has been the only reliable thing on my journey but I realize that isn't the answer for everyone. It can be very healthy to look at your habits particularly around media. Do you watch a lot of news? Even my local news is nothing but doom and gloom. I pretty much shut off all media except Facebook and texags several years ago and it improved my attitude a lot. Media companies have a vested interest in keeping us upset and anxious about things. I don't even do talk radio any more even though I really enjoyed listening to it. Exercise can be a major benefit to your mental health but typically the last thing you want to do is pick up a set of weights when your depressed. Even a brisk walk can help. Anyway, do some searching and see if you can better nail down what exactly is causing your depression about Covid. Don't hesitate to post here as well. This thread has been good for me.

As for me, I've been busy and making some side money. I've got some good things happening with my business, and I've had a really solid week. As much as I dislike the holiday season I do usually get excited for Christmas the week of so I'm hoping this will be another good week. I cashed in some points and am having a one night get away with just the wife on the 26th that I'm really happy about. I went back and read my posts from this thread over the last year. Wow what a roller coaster. But reading the lows and the highs makes me appreciate the highs that much more. One day at a time.

hadynphil said:

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COVID impacted my mental health a lot, I am often anxious and depressed, looking for help and any advice

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Were you ever anxious prior to 2020? For me, I've had really bad cycles with Anxiety, required medication for a couple of years. I improved a lot to the point where I was able to get off years ago. 2020 has really jacked me up like you are describing to the point and I think this whole deal is causing folks to realize they were always anxious, just didn't realize it. I'm back at the point where I'm strongly considering it again.

If you haven't already I would seek out therapy. Check with your insurance and fine someone in-network, I'm currently paying $25 a session and it's completely worth it.

hedge said:

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When my anxiety at my worst it always kills my appetite

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Have any tips? I'm now down 25 lbs this year, 30 since October of last year, 45 down from my peak weight in 2018. All unwanted. Been trying to do protein shakes and what not but hard to keep the weight from shedding off.

AgsMyDude said:

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hedge said:

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When my anxiety at my worst it always kills my appetite

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Have any tips? I'm now down 25 lbs this year, 30 since October of last year, 45 down from my peak weight in 2018. All unwanted. Been trying to do protein shakes and what not but hard to keep the weight from shedding off.

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I'm on the other side. I'm up 20 since starting meds last year. Equally frustrating

High calories dense foods seem to do the trick

G. hirsutum Ag said:

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AgsMyDude said:

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hedge said:

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When my anxiety at my worst it always kills my appetite

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Have any tips? I'm now down 25 lbs this year, 30 since October of last year, 45 down from my peak weight in 2018. All unwanted. Been trying to do protein shakes and what not but hard to keep the weight from shedding off.

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I'm on the other side. I'm up 20 since starting meds last year. Equally frustrating

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I feel you there. My problem is the weight loss is anxiety provoking because I haven't weighed this little in like 20 years. Eating 3 meals a day, protein smoothies most days, weight lifting 3x a week usually. Still consistently losing weight month by month.

Docs ran blood work again, all is good. Chalking it up to anxiety? I also have 2 kids under 4 who keep me very active and they don't sleep so neither do we.

AgsMyDude said:

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G. hirsutum Ag said:

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AgsMyDude said:

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hedge said:

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When my anxiety at my worst it always kills my appetite

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Have any tips? I'm now down 25 lbs this year, 30 since October of last year, 45 down from my peak weight in 2018. All unwanted. Been trying to do protein shakes and what not but hard to keep the weight from shedding off.

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I'm on the other side. I'm up 20 since starting meds last year. Equally frustrating

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I feel you there. My problem is the weight loss is anxiety provoking because I haven't weighed this little in like 20 years. Eating 3 meals a day, protein smoothies most days, weight lifting 3x a week usually. Still consistently losing weight month by month.

Docs ran blood work again, all is good. Chalking it up to anxiety? I also have 2 kids under 4 who keep me very active and they don't sleep so neither do we.

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Stress and anxiety can lead to increased calorie burning. I remember reading an article on ESPN about the calories burned by chess players during tournaments and it was mind blowing. The stress on their brains resulted in players burning massive calories and weight loss during a few days. Glad you're exercising, since that should be helping you manage, regardless of the weight loss.

Found the article, insane. Thanks for bringing that up

https://www.espn.com/espn/story/_/id/27593253/why-grandmasters-magnus-carlsen-fabiano-caruana-lose-weight-playing-chess

Quote:

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The 1984 World Chess Championship was called off after five months and 48 games because defending champion Anatoly Karpov had lost 22 pounds. "He looked like death," grandmaster and commentator Maurice Ashley recalls. In 2004, winner Rustam Kasimdzhanov walked away from the six-game world championship having lost 17 pounds. In October 2018, Polar, a U.S.-based company that tracks heart rates, monitored chess players during a tournament and found that 21-year-old Russian grandmaster Mikhail Antipov had burned 560 calories in two hours of sitting and playing chess -- or roughly what Roger Federer would burn in an hour of singles tennis.

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Quote:

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Stress also leads to altered -- and disturbed -- sleep patterns, which in turn cause more fatigue -- and can lead to more weight loss. A brain operating on less sleep, even by just one hour, Kasimdzhanov notes, requires more energy to stay awake during the chess game.

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Quote:

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He has even managed to optimize ... sitting. That's right. Carlsen claims that many chess players crane their necks too far forward, which can lead to a 30 percent loss of lung capacity, according to studies in the Journal of Physical Therapy Science. And, according to Keith Overland, former president of the American Chiropractic Association, leaning 30 degrees forward increases stress on the neck by nearly 60 pounds, which in turn requires the back and neck muscles to work harder, ultimately resulting in headaches, irregular breathing and reduced oxygen to the brain

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^ I definitely do this a ton while sitting at work

Just a reminder that all the rough feelings y'all might have been feeling were only compounded by the absolute shiit storm that was COVID. Any of you who made progress, however seemingly insignificant, should celebrate the fact that you did it in a year that was riddled with more impediments to any sane person's mental health than ever before.

My wife and I were meeting with a counselor on a monthly basis for most of 2019. I can truly and honestly say that we were absolutely fine, but our employer (same one) offered to reimburse seven counselor meetings per year, so we doubled up and went to them to ensure there was nothing we couldn't improve upon...and spoiler alert, there was plenty we could, and did, improve upon. We haven't been for much of 2020, and may not for a while depending on how comfortable the counselor is seeing folks again.

Congrats again, though. Any progress is worth cherishing. And reaching out to anonymous Aggies admitting you need help or need to vent counts as progress.

BTHO depression and bad mental spaces.

I thought I'd bump this thread rather than make a new one. Apologize if this is covered somewhere in the past 5 pages, but just looking for some advice.

I have a family member who is likely depressed (and has been on several anti-depressants prescribed by their PCP), but has never gone to any sort of therapy. This PCP also prescribes an anxiety medication called clonazepam, which is a class of drugs known as a benzodiazepine - it's essentially a shot of alcohol in a pill in terms of how it works on the brain. Because of the way it works, it's actually not recommended as it creates a dependency and doesn't help treat the underlying cause of anxiety. This family member has been known to take 2-4 of them at a time when stressed, or confronted about their behaviors.

As of the past few months, they've been making some pretty poor decisions that I know they'll regret. It seems like they make the poor decision, and then shortly after realize it was a mistake, but then keep repeating it. The impact is likely going to end in their family breaking apart. However I have a feeling it can spiral way beyond that if they don't "wake up" and realize what they're doing. If they didn't have family willing to help, the path they're taking could easily make them homeless. Or even end in self-harm (they have had some suicidal thoughts in the past).

They've been pretty adamant about not going to mental health in the past (when they were a lot more stable), and seem very afraid of being judged (yet are partaking in very immoral and unethical behavior). I think they would benefit from seeing a psychologist and psychiatrist. I also think their PCP needs to stop prescribing the anxiety meds. We can get them an appointment with mental health provider, and maybe even get them to go, but we can't necessarily get them to be an active participant.

How do we get them to realize what they're doing to themselves and their family, stop what they're doing, and get the help they needs?

Tl;dr - family member with depression/anxiety is engaging in self-destructive behavior and I'm looking for some advice on how to get them to be an active participant in the help they need.

Thanks

How is everyone doing?

Going back and reading this thread is always good for me to see how far I've come. There has been a lot happen since my last update but the big thing is that it seems I found the missing piece for me. I have not felt like I'm living in depression for almost 12 full months. And that is even while dealing with some other serious health issues that also cause depression. Doesn't mean I don't get depressed, but being depressed for a day is vastly different than living in depression for 2 months. I still have to consciously be proactive about it every day but so so thankful it isn't consuming me any more.

I've also started working on some mental health projects that started with this thread. I was asked to help with a podcast episode about mental health by someone who considered me an expert. Not sure that is a title I want to claim but I've earned some stripes the hard way.

Things have been going fairly well. Medical marijuana has been a game changer for my anxiety. I never take enough to get high, just 5 mg before bed and it keeps me from having my heart feel like it's in a vice. It helps me to be at peace, even when I'm dealing with stress. I hope this becomes more available to others because I'm a proponent of its benefits, it's helped me at home and at work.

Max Power said:

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Things have been going fairly well. Medical marijuana has been a game changer for my anxiety. I never take enough to get high, just 5 mg before bed and it keeps me from having my heart feel like it's in a vice. It helps me to be at peace, even when I'm dealing with stress. I hope this becomes more available to others because I'm a proponent of its benefits, it's helped me at home and at work.

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I smoke more than enough multiple times a day. And yes it is an absolute miracle plant. It isn't the whole puzzle but definitely an important piece in my puzzle. And the people that either haven't experienced it or don't suffer from depression don't understand how someone can smoke all day and be completely normal. Glad you are improving

Sorry to piggyback on this thread. I've been reading the comments on here to see if anything can help me. I've been thinking of seeing a functional medicine doctor. My hesitation has been cost since insurance doesn't cover it. I've had basic lab work done at my PCP and everything is always "fine" but I truly feel something is off. I've always struggled with anxiety and depression but it got worse when I got pregnant. It then got even worse my second pregnancy. I've been miserable for the last two years. Counseling isn't helping and different medications gave me some of the most depressive thoughts I've ever had. I adjusted diet and exercise. I've been intermittent fasting for 2.5 months just to see if it would help. Nothing. Nothing is working. I feel like I'm missing out on my kids lives. I'm just a zombie all the time. Trying to get through the day without having a breakdown.

Hi there. How old are your kids now? I have had a history of depression/anxiety since my teenage years but I would really say the anxiety component was exacerbated after having kids. Mine are 7 and 4 now. I started abusing alcohol after my first kid which really just made the anxiety worse. I quit drinking about 10 months ago and I would say my anxiety is much better than where it was a year ago. I still seem to have bouts of insomnia that also exacerbates the anxiety. My last experience with taking pills to help me sleep was such a bad one, I'm afraid to try another medication. But here I am, slept 3 hours last night and hoping I don't have a breakdown today.
I am also here just to see what has helped other people. In the past counseling was helpful for me. Have you tried switching counselors at any point? They say it is important to find the right one. Is there anything else in the past that has been helpful for you? Do you feel like you have enough support with childcare? I'd say I often feel like I don't have enough time for myself.
I'd say exercise, hobbies, talking to a friend have been helpful things for me, but at times feels like it's not enough.

Lily09 said:

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Sorry to piggyback on this thread. I've been reading the comments on here to see if anything can help me. I've been thinking of seeing a functional medicine doctor. My hesitation has been cost since insurance doesn't cover it. I've had basic lab work done at my PCP and everything is always "fine" but I truly feel something is off. I've always struggled with anxiety and depression but it got worse when I got pregnant. It then got even worse my second pregnancy. I've been miserable for the last two years. Counseling isn't helping and different medications gave me some of the most depressive thoughts I've ever had. I adjusted diet and exercise. I've been intermittent fasting for 2.5 months just to see if it would help. Nothing. Nothing is working. I feel like I'm missing out on my kids lives. I'm just a zombie all the time. Trying to get through the day without having a breakdown.

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Do you have any other symptoms you have noticed? Like pain in extremities or double vision or anything on top of being super tired? Could be auto immune stuff

Lily09 said:

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Sorry to piggyback on this thread. I've been reading the comments on here to see if anything can help me. I've been thinking of seeing a functional medicine doctor. My hesitation has been cost since insurance doesn't cover it. I've had basic lab work done at my PCP and everything is always "fine" but I truly feel something is off. I've always struggled with anxiety and depression but it got worse when I got pregnant. It then got even worse my second pregnancy. I've been miserable for the last two years. Counseling isn't helping and different medications gave me some of the most depressive thoughts I've ever had. I adjusted diet and exercise. I've been intermittent fasting for 2.5 months just to see if it would help. Nothing. Nothing is working. I feel like I'm missing out on my kids lives. I'm just a zombie all the time. Trying to get through the day without having a breakdown.

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Don't apologize for looking for help on a thread like this, it's what we're here for. If you don't feel right then something is off, lab work doesn't always tell you the whole story. I tried counseling but all it did was confirm that factors I couldn't fix were contributing to how I was feeling, it actually made me feel worse to have it confirmed. Different medications work differently for different people, some of them can make things worse or cause you to just check out. I've been on Bupropion (200 mg) for years specifically because I couldn't be on something that made me shut down and it has the lowest sexual side effects to boot. I'm married and have a kid, I was worried that medication would both curb my depression but also ruin my marriage. I'm not cured by any means but I can manage.

Other factors to consider:
-How strong is your marriage/family?
-Does your job put a lot of stress on you?
-Have you talked to a psychiatrist vs your PCP and a counselor?

If you think it's all internal I'd say consider another medication or doctor. Ask for a referral to a specialist from your PCP, keep trying, don't give up. A lot of us here share in your struggle and all we are able to do is focus on getting through each day

If there is something at home/work that's a problem it also can't be ignored as a factor. My household is problematic as well but I don't want to derail your concerns with my own problems…I know I'm guilty of that on this board.

Lily09 said:

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Sorry to piggyback on this thread. I've been reading the comments on here to see if anything can help me. I've been thinking of seeing a functional medicine doctor. My hesitation has been cost since insurance doesn't cover it. I've had basic lab work done at my PCP and everything is always "fine" but I truly feel something is off. I've always struggled with anxiety and depression but it got worse when I got pregnant. It then got even worse my second pregnancy. I've been miserable for the last two years. Counseling isn't helping and different medications gave me some of the most depressive thoughts I've ever had. I adjusted diet and exercise. I've been intermittent fasting for 2.5 months just to see if it would help. Nothing. Nothing is working. I feel like I'm missing out on my kids lives. I'm just a zombie all the time. Trying to get through the day without having a breakdown.

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Post-pregnancy blues can be hard to get through. I'm sorry to hear of your struggles.

I got adminerrors to create a link if you wanted to try microdosing psilocybin and wanted more information.

https://t.me/+2UdJ1M-6QhJiNTFh

Quote:

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PSILOCYBINMicrodosing Moms: Psilocybin & Postpartum Depression Relief
While most new mothers experience joy and excitement when bringing a new life to the world, some may feel sadness or fear in the first days after childbirth….

While most new mothers experience joy and excitement when bringing a new life to the world, some may feel sadness or fear in the first days after childbirth. The pressure of not being able to connect with the child and the fear of not meeting social expectations attached to motherhood can strain a new mom's ability to care for herself and her baby. While 80 percent of new moms experience "baby blues" after childbirth, a completely normal and short-lived reaction, about 15 percent of new moms experience more severe and longer term mood swings, anxiety, and depression. Truffle Report examines whether or not psychedelics, specifically psilocybin microdosing, could provide a solution for those suffering from postpartum depression.

What is PPD?
Postpartum depression is a mood disorder that usually begins within the first days to months after delivering a baby, or experiencing a miscarriage or stillbirth, and which can last for months. According to a 2019 study from Mathematica, untreated maternal mental health conditions cost the U.S. $14.2 billion a year.

We don't yet know the exact reason why some new mothers develop postpartum depression and others don't. It is believed to be a combination of emotional, physical, genetic, and social factors. Levels of estrogen and progesterone increase during pregnancy but drop significantly after delivery. Researchers believe that this sudden change in hormone levels may lead to depression.

Symptoms of PPD can include:

Anxiety
Feelings of guilt and shame
Anger and rage
Physical aches and pains
Feeling sad, hopeless and overwhelmed
Thoughts about harming oneself or the baby
Current Treatment
Postpartum depression is largely under-diagnosed and under-treated, with screening for it being inconsistent and stigmatized by medical and mental health professionals. According to Katherine Stone, an advocate for women with PPD, and the creator and editor of the award-winning site Postpartum Progress, "some studies show that only 15 percent of moms with PPD ever get professional help."

According to a 2018 study published in Women's Health Issues of women who gave birth in 2014 and were diagnosed with depression in the following year, 29 percent of those who held private insurance and 46 percent of those on Medicaid did not receive any treatment.

...

The (Big Pharma) drug infusion costs around $7,450 a vial, which results in $34,000 per patient without insurance. It is also required to stay in a certified healthcare facility for over 60 hours (2.5 days), which is not included in the drug's price tag.

Psilocybin, Microdosing, and PPD
However, for many mothers suffering postpartum, traditional treatments are not an option.

Melissa Lavasani, the Executive Director and co-founder of Plant Medicine Coalition (PMC), was suffering postpartum depression and turned to psilocybin as the last resort.

"I was so miserable and in a terrible place mentally that I have never quite experienced something like that before, and I was desperate for a solution. I was doing everything under the sun, and it wasn't working," she told Truffle Report.

After listening to a podcast about the potential benefits of psilocybin mushrooms, Lavasani started microdosing.

"Depression had made me feel very detached from my body and a bit disassociated from what was going on around me, like I was just going through the motions. Microdosing mushrooms made me feel very present in my body. There were no hallucinations or other symptoms you might associate with a psychedelic experience. I compare the feeling to getting eight hours of sleep, having a good workout and drinking the perfect amount of coffee. I just felt sharp and ready for my day," wrote Lavasani.

In a 2019 article published by VICE, Julie Ugleholdt, author of the "Project BabyMy First Year As a Less Than Perfect Mother", said that microdosing with psilocybin helped her mental health.

"My husband was the one who dosed them for me and mixed them in with my coffee, because at this point, I wasn't really capable of doing much myself. I definitely noticed a change when I started drinking them that I started to feel warm and happy inside. That very first day, I sang songs for my daughter. We played together and she smiled at me. I was overjoyed that I was even able to take the experience in," she said.

Therapist and writer Sarah Stuteville says in an opinion piece written in the South Seattle Emerald on her experience with postpartum that she felt better within weeks of starting microdosing with psilocybin.

"My sense of perspective, and humor, were returning. I felt I could see more clearly the things that sent me spiraling. And when the spiraling happened, I had faith that it would pass. It wasn't as though my feelings were changing I was still sad and scared sometimes it was more like my relationship to those feelings was changing. I could even have compassion for them, and by extension, myself," wrote Stuteville.

According to an Insider article, mothers who microdose psilocybin became "more patient and present parents" and better able to cope with pregnancy and postpartum mental health issues.

One of the mothers questioned, Natalie, said microdosing psilocybin saved her life after her postpartum depression.

"I had a lot of rage where I wanted to hurt my baby. Sometimes she wouldn't stop crying, and I just had so much anger inside of me that I was afraid for her, which caused me to want to kill myself because I was afraid that I was going to hurt my kid," she said.

In September 2021, Field Trip Health announced that the lead indications for FT-104, its novel psychedelic compound currently in development, will be Treatment Resistant Depression (TRD) and Postpartum Depression (PPD).

Joseph del Moral, Field Trip's CEO, said, "The decision to pursue TRD and PPD in parallel is the result of a comprehensive strategic assessment of FT-104's unique and desirable characteristics. TRD represents a tremendous market opportunity for which we believe FT-104 will rapidly become a preferred treatment option, especially relative to psilocybin. Notably, PPD is an acute condition with a lower regulatory burden and shorter overall timelines for approval making FT-104 a potential first-in-class for PPD. By pursuing TRD and PPD in parallel, we can achieve both speed and scale for FT-104."

Mental health, especially for new parents, isn't discussed enough. Given that psychedelics are showing efficacy in treating depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions, it is important to keep researching their potential benefits for parents experiencing postpartum depression.

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AdminErrors has assisted a number of texaggers, myself included, with addressing similar issues and getting access to product and best practices.

Good luck!

Thank you for reading my post. I think I addressed all the questions below.

My kids are young. They are the absolute reason I continue to fight to get through each day. But man they sent me into a spiral sometimes. We have a preschool that they go to during the week. I feel bad because they even go on my days off but I need a break. I work in a hospital and I get so worn out taking care of others that I'm exhausted just being with my own kids for a short time. My job is stressful, but covid made it even worse. Manager changes also haven't helped.

I'd say my marriage is strong but it's hard to talk to my husband about my issues because he is already dealing with his own. He knows everything but I can't bring it up on a daily basis.

I've tried turning toward religion. But even there I feel like I'm failing. This is a whole other issue that I'm not going to go into.

My reoccurring symptoms have been exhaustion, hair loss, inability to lose weight, night sweats, irritable and not interested in doing anything. I've always wondered if there is an autoimmune issue that I'm not aware of.

I've tried counseling. My most recent experience was a nightmare and completely turned me off from it.

I don't have any friends to turn to. My only so called "friends" are my coworkers and I see them enough on my work days. I've always felt like wasted space when I'm around people. Why am I even there.

Very interesting about psilocybin. I looked up other articles about it. Thank you for sharing that info.

Hospital is hard, my wife works at one too and with 2 kids (csection) and the recovery and everything I'm pretty sure she's close in the same boat. Especially body issues from surgery and recovery and hair loss in there as well. Anyways I've been giving her the same data and she's about to start her own regiment.

I'm proud of you for making it through a day feeling miserable like you have been feeling. If no one else has said it, thank you for your continuous efforts. I hope you start feeling proud and confident of yourself too, soon. You deserve it. You're awesome.

When you macrodose psilocybin you'll find out quickly what delusions you're operating under, good or bad they'll be identified and, with proper integration, overcome.

The integration industry (i.e. CBT post psychedelic experience for example) is just starting off, ketamine clinics seem to be the easiest psychedelic with clinical practices and Colorado is about to legalize psilocybin or decriminalize it on the heels of Oregon's own legalization efforts. So currently there's only a few places you can acquire these items unfortunately but that's changing quickly.

So much info out there it's like drinking from a firehose.

I'll post another article I just read from adminerrors about a wife who was dosing her husband's (a senator) coffee, and after 22 years of pharma medication he felt happy for the first time and finally told his wife he thought he was getting better she said he'd had his coffee dosed for two weeks now.

https://psychedelicspotlight.com/canadian-senators-wife-secretly-gave-him-psilocybin-to-help-his-depression/


Edited to add:
Oh and mentioning empathy in spouses or lack thereof... MDMA marriage counseling is coming back in a big way. Sometimes you get so in the grooves of everyday that you forget you partner isn't an amazing automaton that never needs anything outside of resources to perform.